Hello everyone,
After an unsuccessful relationship, I have been single for the past couple of years. During that time, I was studying different viewpoints of relationships and I came across a YouTube channel "The Universe Guru" by Mina Irfan. This is a Pakistani immigrant living in US a she is putting forward this idea of 3 levels of relationships:
1. level - masculine man and feminine woman - the man is in complete control, woman is obedient and not in control of the finances, etc.
2. level - the 50:50 relationships - typical in western countries, either partner pays half or some percentage (not a strict half - depending on their income ratio), they sort of do half of household chores..basically the "fair" relationship, based on the information from her, this is the type of relationship that makes people miserable after a longer time and also it is the most sexless of all types
3. level - conscious relationship, the woman uses rotational dating and dates multiple men at once without being physical with them and once any man is interested in her, he asks her to marry him (this can happen very fast, even in a month or two). After his proposal, her family gets to meet him and vet him, he provides documents and bank statements that he is able to provide for his family and that he is decent and stuff. When she agrees to marry him, they get married and have sex after the marriage (she says this is important, as otherwise the man will just have casually sex with the woman, she will get emotionally attached to him and he will never marry her, or he will, but after a looong time and that this is very common in western countries - the endless dating without proposal. When in marriage, the man is consciously providing for the woman, paying all the basic needs from his money, woman has her own money (or they can have a shared account), but she is independent, however lets the man provide for her (she could easily take care of herself, but in order to keep the relationship polarized, she consciously puts herself in feminine energy when she is with the man and he is securing and protecting her fully). Her own money is then used for her beauty, self growth or investment or extra luxuries. In order for this kind of relationship to work properly, Mina claims that this couple should be married, so that they are in that together and can build their generational wealth together, that both the woman is secured (in case she stays at home for periods of time with children etc...so that is why the man needs to secure her financially by himself) and the man knows as well, that this is his wife and he is pouring his money into his family basically.
My apologies for this wild explanation, but I hope you get the point. I got kind of stuck on this concept, because I am not from any kind of arabic culture or other culture that would practice this. There are some things I find extremely valuable, because to be honest, I HATE fifty fifty relationships, for some reason they make me feel like crap (and she actually touches on a lot of reasons why that is..). However, on the other hand the idea of marrying someone so fast seems very dangerous, as marriage is no guarantee of anything and divorce can be very painful, if you already built a life for yourself as well.
I am very desperate lately, as I cannot seem to grasp this concept fully and I guess I am looking for some alternatives? Do you guys follow any YouTubers or influencers or have some books on this topic? Cause the idea of man providing seems to be pissing a lot of men off (in unrelated internet discussions that I have seen so far) and in my head the idea of men providing and keeping relationship polarized sounds great, but of course if the men don't like that, then I (as a woman) don't feel like pushing anybody into anything. I saw some male channels on instagram like Stephen Speaks (also on YT) or taylorlove.co on Instagram and others, but from what I have seen a lot of women follow them..in a book by David Deida - The way of superior man - nothing like this is mentioned. I remember that only like one sentence was "Man should take the financial responsibility" I am like huh?? can you be any more vague? what does it mean?
Mina was also talking about how women being feminine feed the men with their energy and feminine women are basically building men up by having sex with them. That a man is truly self confident only after he has sex with a woman, because he is pulling that precious feminine energy from her and building himself up. She is saying that this is known in eastern cultures and they are protecting women by keeping the sex after marriage, so that both men and women get what they need (men gets that feminine energy through sex and women get that masculine providing). That a woman to be fully feminine needs to be rested (and work and educate herself for her pleasure or on her own terms, not from a desperate need for money - that is the man job) and that is the man who takes care of her and lets her rest to be radiant and fuel him. And that unmarried women lets themselves being used and they spent years building a man up while being his girlfriend and then the man leaves them for someone else and is already built a lot of money etc with the use of one woman, who does not get to benefit from that.
Anyhow, sorry for my rant, but if there is anybody who can recommend to me any good concept on how to approach relationships or what is your views on dating with and without marriage, I would appreciate it so much. I want to clarify for myself what I really want and what is possible, before I start dating again..
Thank you very much in advance for your help.
