Afonso

I'm trying to figure out my values and I'm having some issues 1) I love the feeling when everything fits together, whether it be in maths, programming, the universe, design, conceptualizing... And I like creating stuff that gives me that core feeling. I don't know what to call this "value". 2) I love creating stuff. Is this Creativity or Productivity?

Dude, you asked her on facebook. On fucking facebook. From what I understand, you have very low Self-Esteem and, really, you're just a starter on this stuff. Face your fears and start approaching girls that you find cute. Yeah, it will be fucking terrible the first time, but it will get better eventually. Looks seem a big deal to you because you don't really understand women's psychology. Yeah, it seems that the only problem is your looks...... but women don't look at men the way men look at women. It's a biology thing. BTW, if you really suck and have no social intuition with women, this book can be a hell of a kickstarter: You still have to invest emotional labour into this... learning math theory won't make you good at math unless you practice... same thing applies! https://www.amazon.com/Manual-What-Women-Want-Give-ebook/dp/B00FZ6FCXY/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1495289706&sr=8-2&keywords=The+Manual

@Leo Gura I'm curious. If you're enlightened, then anything that happens to the ego is not relevant. Why did your enlightened friend refuse a higher dosage after puking? After all, all that puking must haven't caused any suffering, if he indeed does not identify with his ego, right?

What's the most efficient process for dealing with the Shadow? I hear many people talking about it, and in many books, yet I wonder 1) How do you actually know what's in your shadow 2) How do you own what's in there

I'm at the same place... Love computer engineering, programming, making beautiful code and creating beautiful systems that work with each other. On the other hand, I want fucking Truth am I right?! Truth and Personal Growth are some of my top values!

Your negative thoughts never stop do they? So isn't that pointless?

yes

I should get rid of things that fit in my Zone of Incompetence. What about things that support my Life Purpose or that are mandatory for my success, yet I suck at? If this is the criteria I use for doing things, doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of working through obstacles and improving in the various areas of life?

I was following Leo's video on the Hero's Journey (on his Life Purpose Course) and somehow I got emotional and started revisiting my childhood memories. I played an inspiring speech and started a deep process of visualization. I visualized myself throughout childhood as this little kid and I gave him LOVE every time. In every situation, place, time, I gave that kid all the love I could and knew how to give. My love language is physical, and as such, I gave him LOVE with hugs. I loved him all the way. In those moments, I started crying, and lots of tears came out of my eyes. I stayed in this state a few more minutes and gave LOVE till there was no more LOVE to give... I just accepted him, looked at his big eyes and loved the little creature. Now, the kid is no longer in my arms receiving my love. It's full, it's playing in the park, dancing and being innocently happy. This was the speech I was listening to (not intended for this type of work, it was just a mere coincidence):

Yeah, I would do something to get to Solitary Confinement and then Meditate 24/7

True. This wasn't my first session, and it won't be my last. The first session I did a couple of months ago, I thought I was finished, but not so far...

geniussssss

Yeah, in the 2nd month of my meditation I almost fell off track and did not meditate (I meditated just 5 minutes). It's the homeostatic system at work. You have to push through it. There's no magic pill to this. Emotional labor is required. If you're not serious about it, might as well not meditate at all. Make a vow to yourself to meditate for X minutes every single day. The days you grow the most in willpower are the days where you least want to meditate.

I think so. Boost the time. I know Leo says that you shouldn't boost the time freely like that, but even though I lose focus 5/6 times per session of 10 minutes, I find that the concentration still develops. I'm at ~10 minutes now but I occasionally bump it up to 30 or 60 minutes. Also, the first effects of heightened concentration can be appealing and feel really good but eventually that good feeling effect wears off.

Well, it's to expect that concentration practices will be hard for you since you have ADD.

I'm doing a lot of research on this psychedelic and an idea popped up that doesn't seem to be addressed nowhere on the internet. Would a concentration practice of, let's say, 1 hour right before, be useful for entering the experience more smoothly? If one has a more focused and steady mind, there's less space for resistance and over negative-thinking, is there not? @Leo Gura

It inspired me to meditate harder and longer and to join a retreat with my cousin who is now also into spirituality!

If there's nothing I'm truly passionate about then I have no purpose, no mission, and I'm not enlightened yet

It's all fear. Fear that I'll waste my life. Fear that I won't find anything that I'm truly passionate about, and I'll keep dabbling around like I've always been because I lose motivation and interest quickly. Fear that this Self-Actualization could be all bull-shit. Fear that my Shadow is preventing me from living an authentic life and I can't seem to work on it effectively. Fear that I won't be able to make something amazing out of my life. Fear that I'll never truly be able to express myself without any emotional barriers like when I get drunk.

@Leo Gura I hope you get enlightened while still keeping your Youtube Channel active. Hah, that would be pretty sweet.

@Leo Gura So, I want to keep sharing my progress so far. Your video on Concentration vs. Meditation really helped me a lot to steady my mind and now I can keep it very, very, very still during Meditation and Self-Inquiry. It gives me a huge emotional stability and equanimity. This helps to face emotional resistance and turmoil in every-day life and also when I'm doing this kind of consciousness work. So I'm doing Meditation, Self-Inquiry and Concentration daily. I feel very motivated doing Self-Inquiry now. I'm reading lots of books, including your book-list. I am experiencing interesting phenomena. 1) I feel huge pressures in my head. Headaches/pressure, whatever the name for the pain is. The pressure increases when meditating/concentrating/self-inquiring. It hurts. 2) I dropped all the intellectual stuff because I'm at a point where I no longer identify with thoughts, so it's pointless. Also, I don't feel the need to ask the question "Who am I?", although I occasionally do it, because I can easily "tune in" to the intention. Please let me know if this is wrong or if you don't understand. 3) I notice a lot of memories bubbling up and A LOT of energy coursing through my body, specially with Self-Inquiry. 4) My mind has become very very still, or at least a lot more calm in contrast to my experience previous to the concentration habit. I also like to ask myself "Who am I?" outside the cushion. It's hard for me to do this kind of work "as just a hobby/side project", so I tend to constantly think about it throughout the day. What advice do you have for me? Are the things I'm experiencing common or relatable? The pain in my head has been bothering me a lot. It was present when I did Meditation, but now with Concentration and Self-Inquiry it's much heavier. It permeates the eyes, jaw, teeth, the sides, front and back of the head and also from within the head. Thanks

Dennis Genpo Merzel Roshi is a former Zen Master who has founded an organization which shares/sells content that deals with the Big Mind Process, a path for waking up and seeing one's True Nature. Ken Wilber supports his organization and the actual process. Can anyone say anything about this? It seems very unreal that one could awaken from a one-hour practice of the Big Mind Process. I believe it's a pile of horse shit, but there's so much popularity around it. @Azrael said he got an enlightenment experience from that, which makes me wonder Why is it soooo popular and famous and whatever, yet no one talks about it here?! Is it really a scam?

Don't worry about not feeling the effects that I describe. As I can recall, I started out with single 5 minute sessions and didn't feel much of a change in my experience. It was only when I boosted to 10 minute sessions after a couple of days that I started feeling a lot more peaceful and my mind got very still. Everyone's position is different. Work your way through longer periods of time. If you still get distracted, keep practicing. Eventually, you'll reach higher levels of concentration, it all boils down to how much you practice daily. That said, I still think my results were influenced by my meditation habit of over 6 months.

Wow... Just wow! Installing a concentration practice, a daily habit, has been very powerful lately! I just reserved a few days just for concentration practice! Today I did ~3 hours of it including 5 or 6 chunks of 10 minutes and 1 chunk of 1 hour. I notice a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge boost in my meditation practice AND the emotional stability and tranquility of mind that can last for days is just amazing! It can feel a lot like you're in the center of an hurricane, as Leo puts it in his video Concentration vs Meditation. I used the same method as Leo of the repeating sound, but contrary to what he says, I really enjoy concentrating on the sound of the metronome, it's like a hit of pleasure every time I hear the sound. HOWEVER, I'm still not sure if I'm hitting access concentration. I mean, it keeps being easier and easier to focus and I don't need to put a lot of effort in it, but I can't identify any "access concentration" state. As for peace of mind, I don't know what makes a bigger difference - Meditation or Concentration - or if this tranquility was magnified by concentration but build upon meditation. I feel like emotionally invincible with the concentration practice.

try increasing the time, that's too little