Zenterus

@Leo Gura RSD popularized the idea that the opener doesn't matter but I found that concept to be false. The opener absolutely matters and it becomes clear in the extremes. If you approach a woman saying "hey I want to fuck you" you will most likely get rejected (although not always, I've had it work), conversely if you approach with "hey I want to meet you" it will go a lot better most of the time. These are extreme examples, sure, but they clearly illustrate that the opener matters. A good opener lets you start the conversation in a positive frame in which the dynamics are in your favour. A bad opener can set you back in the interaction, leaving you to play catch up instead of moving forward in a positive direction. My favourite way to open these days is by putting the girl in a negative frame and then having her fight to work out of it, after which I reward her by validating a more positive identity for her. For example, I approached a girl last weekend with "You.. You're a red flag, you know that? I saw you earlier in the night, I see how you move. My mom told me to stay away from girls like you." Of course she reacted with "Whaaat?!! WHYYY??!!" And that opener set me up in a position of power as she spent the rest of the interaction trying to prove to me that she's a sweet girl, actually. After a bit of banter, I finally gave it to her: "You know what? Maybe I was wrong actually, you do seem to be a bit of a sweetheart." Transition to rapport building and normal get to know you and boom! Solid game right there. Would I recommend this to a beginner? Hell no, cause if the woman shit tests him or gets offended, he won't know how to reframe it in a positive way. But I found these to be great openers, much better than compliments or random statements that come to you in the moment. The opener absolutely matters at an advanced level.

The less good looking you are, the more polarizing you have to be in order to punch through her emotions and leave a strong impression. The more conventionally attractive you are, the more you can just lean back and focus on normal conversation and rapport.

Dont listen to this person..

Game was invented to emulate the behaviour of high status men that naturally attracted women through their ways of being. These men - whether they are rich or poor, handsome or not, tall or short - exhibit these behaviours because of their inner psychology. A man who believes he is a catch will naturally behave a certain way that is aligned with that mindset and women, who are biologically attracted to signals of abundance and strength, are going to notice and gravitate towards that man. The problem with a lot of inexperienced guys is that telling them that they're enough, sexy and cool and should, therefore, behave as such is not enough to create long lasting change in them. Therefore you first teach them the behaviours. You teach them technique. You teach them theory. And then as they adopt these behaviours and the world responds favorably as a result, it makes it easier for them to slowly start seeing themselves as being attractive because of the results that they get. The end result of game is not the behaviour, it's the mindset they adopt over time. The longer you stay in the game, the more your insecure and needy behaviours get punished out of you and the more your abundant and strong behaviours get reinforced. Then one day you wake up and you feel like you really ARE the cool guy. You always were. And in fact using pickup techniques takes away from the power of your being. At this point in my journey, I'm just being myself and women just vibe with it. I dont think in terms of pickup theory anymore. I am enough and that's the goal.

@fopylo Man with 10 years of cold approach experience here. Look dude, you're overthinking this and the comments here are not helping you much. Forget about scanning the girl to make sure you actually like her, forget about having elaborate openers and the right way to do this, etc. Whenever you're learning anything new you have to small chunk it: Pick the one main thing that you absolutely need to work on yo get to the next level and once you've mastered that then move onto the next. Right now your main issue is approaching, so focus on that and forget everything else. This is what you're going to do every day: You approach 3 women a day. That's it. Whether is at a bar, the mall, the street, the grocery story, doesn't matter. Approach 3 women a day directly. Don't worry if you want to have sex with them or not, don't worry about their attractiveness, don't worry about having a conversation. You're not there yet. These are all things that you can worry about later after you stop shitting your pants at the idea of approaching. For now, all you should be doing is approaching 3 women a day. Everytime you see a woman, just mustet up to courage to go up to her and say "Hey. I'm on my way to [the gym/school/work/wherever] but I have to say you look amazing!" That's it. Thats 1 out of 3 approaches for the day. After you do that then you're free to walk away. You won. If you end up having a conversation then great! If you end up getting her number, awesome! But thats not your mission, those are just extras. Your criteria for success is going out, approaching a girl, saying the above line as smoothly or as badly as you can muster and then walking away and doing that for a week straight. Simple. Master that and then we can talk about the next steps.

Bullshit. The term alpha male was coined to label the behaviour of a really cool guy called @Zenterus so that other men can mimic him and be as cool as him. Problem is that no matter how many men try to emulate his behaviour, its always a poor mans version of him. Ultimately he's the coolest of them all.

Internal abundance is the way. Just like you, I've been through phases in my life where I've dated multiple women, or had multiple options or leads and I found it to be very unfulfilling and dull because I didnt really care about any of them. Also, being attached to the idea of being in abundance with women puts you in a needy state (funny enough) where you're constantly searching for more and more abundance which is a scarcity mindset, actually. At this point in my life, after 10 years of pimping, I'm in such abundance that I wouldnt even call it abundance. It's more about being indifferent actually. Im good not having a girl in my bed tonight and I'm good if I do. It matters very little to my quality of life. I focus on my daily routine and working towards my goals, because these things ACTUALLY fulfil me. So if I happen to click with a girl when I'm out then cool, but I'm not going to try too hard to make it happen and if it does, it has to be in my pace and under my program. Basically a take it or leave it attitude that is independent of whatever external results I may be getting with women. Im in such of an indifferent frame these days that i often forget to get back to girls, or don't notice if a girl takes long to text me back or I simply dont ask for a girl's number if I dont feel it 100% That said though, when you're learning and developing your game, being attached to physical abundance isnt such a bad thing as it forces you to play the game at a high level and master it rapidly. But once you've gone through the journey and come out the other side solid, then having this more relaxed attitude is better long term.

Some people get horny and they just rub one out and move on with their day. That doesn't come as easily to me. I've been in pickup for almost 10 years. During that time, I used to practise nofap, eating foods that were natural aphrodisiacs, swore off porn (on and off) and had a habit of actually having sex whenever I was horny. I've come to realize that that lifestyle is no longer serving my higher self. I'm currently talking to this one girl who I see great potential with long term and I really want to straighten myself out before I find myself in a relationship. Today, I spent like 3 hours edging because NoFap conditioned me to retain as much of my sexual energy within my body for as long as possible. If I were to relieve myself sexually, it would feel like failure. Yet, If I don't, then I can't get shit done, since I'm extremely horny and I will be tempted to go out to the club and try to pull a girl. Now, is going out and pulling bad necessarily? No, not really but I hate feeling like a slave to it. I hate feeling like going to the club is something that I'm doing with an agenda behind it rather than something that I'm enjoying deeply with the potential of meeting a woman and hitting it off being a bonus I don't mind integrating pickup and sex and women into my life. But I'd rather it be a natural byproduct of who I am as a person rather than something that I'm focusing on or go out of my way to pursue. I've seen glimpses of that in my life, but then I have days like this one, where I'm completely enslaved by it and I don't know if I'm just fighting a losing battle against my own nature. There is no question. I know the path I must follow. But I really needed to vent all the above to whoever is out there willing to listen. Thank you.

Im sorry for taking your comments seriously. You're clearly mentally challenged in some way. Wish you all the best!

Uh.. no i dont. I masturbate once a week. Crazy how this discussion devolved into a discussion about NoFap when the reasons behind my masturbational withholding is due to pickup programming. 🤦🏾‍♂️

Strap up, this'll be a long and powerful value bomb for your game. If you look through my post history, you will discover that after 10 years of pickup experience, I've become quite disensitised to it all and have grown to resent the entire paradigm as it is taught. However, after looking through this sub, I've realized that while I'm doing my dramatic exit, there are so many men who are just now entering the community and may fall victim to a lot of the misguided advice that is often given in pickup forums and other sources of dating-advice-for-men information. So, in spirit of that, I thought that I might as well do my part in making sure that the new "gamers" dont fall into the same traps that I did while I was developing in the game and maybe ensure that the future of pickup is more holistically sound in the process (hopefully - I'm only one dude in a very niche forum, afterall) Anyway, the first topic I want to tackle is the topic of direct game and why this is not only negatively affecting your results, but also negatively affecting the women that you meet. Before I get to my breakdown of direct game, I first have to state the following disclaimer: This is an ADVANCED topic. Reason being that in order to get good at pickup you have to be comfortable with your sexuality and your desires as a man. That is the foundation of all of flirting and masculine confidence. If you lack that within yourself, going direct with women and experiencing the positive reactions that you get from it, as well as the results that will come as a consequence, is a great way to prove to yourself that it is okay to be a sexual being. However, at an advanced level, direct game is simply not the optimal strategy. Let me explain. 1. It creates a low value dynamic This is the ideal story: Girl meets a guy by happenstance. They engage in a very fun interaction and it becomes clear to the girl that she has very good chemistry with this guy, who also seems to be pretty cool and someone who she actually respects and admires. Additionally, she feels a certain vibe between them that is sexual/romantic in nature but isn't sure if she's reading too much into it or if she's feeling it accurately. The guy seems flirtatious with her sometimes but then also dismissive other times, which adds to this tension. As a result, she remains fully engaged into figuring out where this is headed and becomes more and more invested as time goes on. The more they get to know each other, the more the guy moves from dismissive, playful and indifferent to more interested and genuinemy impressed by the girl. The interaction goes from light and fun to more authentic and congruent. She feels like now they're genuinely connecting and that her initial suspicions of an underlying vibe were correct. She's aroused, she's excited, she feels the tension in the air and now she's certain he feels it too as things naturally progress into more and more intimacy. Sounds familiar? If not, then here's a hint: This is how women typically experience a natural romantic progression with a guy who they meet through their social circle – which is where the average woman typically meets the men she dates. The problem with going direct, is that it skips a lot of steps and can create a dynamic in which the woman isn't sure about you, yet your direct statements of interest make it clear that you are absolutely sure about her. Therefore, she's still evaluating you while you're kind of already sold on her, which is low value. One way that PUA has found to offset this is by doing push pulls; meaning showing interest and disinterest back to back over the course of an interaction. It works very well and I definitely advocate for them. However, I do believe there's a superior way to open, specifically, that emulates more of the natural progression that fits into the romantic narrative stated above. Emphasis: USE PUSH PULLS. They work great. This thread is mostly focused on Opening. 2. The girl has to make a decision with very limited information. This is big. Cold approach will forever be a number's game, no matter how good you get and how much you optimize it. But direct game is the ultimate number's game because all the girl has to go off of is how you look and the confidence of your approach. It's very common for guys who purely do direct game to experience 10 nos in a row before they get 1 (maybe) yes. And the funny thing is that those same 10 women who initially said 'no' to you on your approach, could've been crazy about you if you had met them in a normal social setting in which you had no romantic intentions expressed and simply got to know each other as people. What holds guys back from realizing this is the reactions they get from direct game. If you approach a woman directly, she has an instant reaction to your boldness. She laughs, she blushes, she reacts and guys who have low self esteem or who dont have much experience with women need that positive reaction as a sign that they're doing well. However that is a false positive and your results reflect that, if you are honest with yourself. How much a girl laughs and is amused in the interaction has very little to do on whether or not she will want to sleep with you, date you, invest in you. All that actually matters is her perception of you and the unique chemistry and connection you share with her and if a girl rejects you within the first 5 minutes of you talking to her, you cannot establish neither of the above in a positive way. 3. Over time it can kill your reputation among women Especially true if you live in a small city but just as valid in bigger cities as well. The thing with cold approach pickup is that it requires a high volume of social interaction for you to get results - even if you're advanced, there will always be a numbers game element to it. Over time - within a span of years or even months maybe - you will start encountering women who you've previously approached in the past at random locations. This could also happen in a closed environment, such as a club, where you're bound to run into the same people again (depending on where you live) either the same night or over the span of multiple nights. Now, if you game properly, as I will explain later on, then this is perfect! You can re-approach without it being weird of awkward. However, if you're the direct burn-it-to-the-ground type of player that goes all in and shows all his cards right away, then it will result in you having an awkward reputation eventually. Now, having a reputation isn't necessarily bad, if you know how to handle it and use it to your advantage. But I'll tell you this, for sure: Nothing turns a woman off more than when she finds out the guy who she's dating has been running around flirting and complimenting and getting rejected by the majority of women in the city.. especially when one (or a few of them) turn out to be her friends. 4. Closes the door for a more nuanced approach to game (social circle, for example) The highest forms of game are subtle and allow you a lot of manoeuvrability. Let's say you approach 2 really beautiful girls. Both are hot, both look good and you'd be down to actually date either one of them. But for the sake of directness you choose one of them to direct your intentions to. However, you find out that not only do you not have that much chemistry with her, but that she also has a boyfriend! On the flip side, her friend is way more interesting and engaging to talk to and she's single. What do you do? Switch targets? You could, I've done it and had it work out. But the vast majority of the time, the girl will just feel like the backup option and reject you even though she might have been interested in you. Alternatively, let's say that both of the women have boyfriends but they're super cool to talk to and you'd actually be down to befriend them and potentially even meet their attractive friends By approaching them in a very direct, polarizing manner and then trying to switch to being their friend you run the risk of them perceiving you as a loser who is trying to sleaze his way into their pants through the friendzone. Again, low value. Now don't misunderstand me; It can still work - practically anything can - but it's just way less likely. You want to approach game in such a way that allows you to be flexible within an interaction, whether that is switching your target or the frame of the approach itself, while also maintaining a high value perception of you in the woman's eyes, and direct game isn't the optimal approach for that. The optimal approach: Before we get into the actual approach, let's lay down some foundational principles behind the Opening style I advocate for: - Attraction is not a choice. You don't have to tell a girl you like her or be overtly flirty with her for her to feel attracted to you. If you're a cool guy, who is sexy, dominant, assertive and fun, she will get attracted to you whether you directly established that frame or not. - Being the buyer not the seller As established previously, the ideal story you want a woman to experience emotionally when you're interacting with her is one where she's uncertain about your interest level at first and then slowly - the more you get to know each other and the more she impresses you with her character - the more your interest grows and becomes more obvious. That way, your interest, feels more earned and special. - It just happened Romance should feel spontaneous, genuine, authentic and fateful. No woman likes the idea that her was man sitting at home plotting, strategizing and pracising his approach for weeks and months on various women and she just happened to be the one who "fell for it." Women want to feel like things just naturally came about and therefore your opening style should reflect this fantasy. Now, one last point before I tell you the best way to approach. I must emphasize that this post is about OPENERS. I'm not saying that you shouldn't flirt at all or never convey your sexuality to the woman. What I am saying is that your sexuality and intention should be gradually revealed - mostly through the vibe but also through the subtlety and implication of your verbals, which is a topic for a different day. With those principles in mind, the best way to approach is indirect direct. What does indirect direct mean? It means you approach from an indirect high value frame while still maintaining your dominance and "potential suitor" vibe. This means you should still hold strong eye contact, speak with authority and breaking rapport tonality, be expressive, be leading, etc etc. But open the interaction in such a way that doesn't immediately give away your intentions. This does require some creativity on your part, but lucky for you I am feeling generous, so here are some mental frames you could embody on your approach: [] "I'm already having fun and loving life and here I am sharing it with you, just cause I felt like it." The frame speaks for itself, but it's one predicated on you living a full life, having fun, doing cool things and on your way to live this cool llife of yours and you just felt like sharing some energy with a stranger. I discovered this years ago when I noticed that whenever I was travelling, going to a cool ass event or coming from a badass hangout with friends, my approaches would go so much better because I would approach from a completely different frame. Like, I'd be hanging out with friends shooting the shit, making inside jokes and such and on my way home I would just approach a girl in a very self amusing way by using one of the inside jokes I had with my friends earlier that day as an opener. The girl would have no context for the joke and wouldn't get it, but the vibe did the talking. So, how does that look like in practice? One way you can actualize this frame is either by actually, you know, living a dope ass life or by doing warm up approaches with the sole intention of just being silly and having fun with the women you talk to rather than getting a result. That will eventually pop you in the zone which will make the above frame very congruent. As a training wheel for this, try approaching a girl from the frame that she approached you and you're flattered but not really interested. For example, "Hey excuse me. Look, I just wanted to say that I appreciate the confidence, really, Im super flattered! But I'm not looking for anything right now. You seem like a really cool girl, though. We could totally be friends. Hope you dont take it personal!" And continue the interaction as normal. Just for funzies. See what happens. [] "I'm on my way somewhere, living my life, but I'm curious about something, real quick." This is another great high value frame and, compared to the first one, its more easy to apply. It is self explanatory, instead of going direct, you approach from a place of curiosity. "Hey, excuse me. Im on my way to [whatever] but you look very creative and I've been meaning to meet more like minded people. Are you an artist by any chance?" Very simple. Of course, modify it to fit your personality and genuine interests but you can clearly see how this type of approach not only conveys your unique value system but also can potentially spark a more genuine interaction from a place of common ground interests. Of course, to reiterate, you do have to gradually reveal your sexual interest in her through your vibe, eye contact, tone of voice, dominance, etc. Don't get stuck on the curiosity frame without switching to a more personal "I want to meet you" type of dynamic after establishing some basic rapport. [] Teasing Another great, playful way to open that sets up a very flirtatious dynamic without being explicit and direct about it. Again, the frame you should be coming from is that you're already living your life and she just caught your attention by accident after catching her doing something silly or ridiculous. I'll give you some examples below off the top of my head, but keep in mind that these should be said playfully and with positive energy: 1) You see a girl wearing all black. "Sorry, I have to say.. you got that emo look down! Haven't seen that since the early 2000s, takes me back to the good old days. What's your band's name?" 2) You see a girl walking down the street with a very serious expression on her face. "Excuse me.. you look like you're on your way to beat someone up and I'm here for it. Who is getting jumped? I'm ready, let's go!" 3) A girl is out with 2 of her friends who are currently talking among themselves without her "Hey you.. *sigh* I totally feel you right now. Being the third wheel sucks. I know that feeling. Fuck your friends, we'll have a secret conversation of our own here and get them jealous ;)" The above are merely a few of infinite examples of various frames you could embody and their applications. You could also approach by asking for directions or to share a random experience that you just had which you just had to share with someone, or to ask for an opinion, etc. As long as the opener falls under the principles and theory laid out here, it will successfully set the correct dynamic for a proper seduction while side-stepping all the negative aspects of the direct approach. Now, let me be abundantly clear: Direct game still works. Especially if you're creative with it instead of going out with these lame, cliche, low effort openers such as "you're beautiful" or "you're cute." What I'm saying here is that the direct approach just isn't optimal long term and will stagnate your potential results, if that's the only way you know how to approach women. Hope this was helpful.

My buddy just texted me: "Wanna do some game tonight?" I'll update you tomorrow.

As someone with a massive DONG, I can assure you, it's very overrated. I've dated a lot of women who, although I had great chemistry with, we just couldn't have satisfying sex because of my size. That would end up frustrating both of us and then we'd end it. I wish I had a shrimp.

As stated in the beginning, this is Advanced advice. If you barely approach women and have never gotten any results from cold approach, this advice wont work for you. I wrote this for guys who are actively in the game, who have worked in their grooming, their dominance, their charisma up to a certain level where it works passively for them and want to improve further.

The more you do it the better, cause you get disensitised to it. Schedule a day where you will do 30 approaches back to back, just for the fuck of it. Doesnt matter if you're attracted to them, just do it to get into a flow. Also, it could be that you're viewing this as an obligation or work rather than a fun time. If you can reframe your approaches as you just having fun and just playing around then it wont be as nerve wracking. It could help to meditate and visualize yourself approaching women from a relaxed, fun, value giving place in which you imagine the woman loving you and responding well to you, until you reframe the whole ordeal in your mind. Another common reason that you might get stressed is because you feel like approaching women is somehow weird and thus are afraid of being judged by people around you. Here are my thoughts on those: 1 - As for cold approach being weird, I would recommend that you go to a night club for 2 consecutive days in a row and dont approach anyone. Just watch. What you will observe, if you're sharp enough, is that men are approaching women, women are giving out signals to men, people are flirting, people are hooking up, people are going home together. Women want to meet a cool guy and men want to meet a cool girl. Nothing wrong with that. You're not weird for going after women you find attractive. In fact, its the most natural thing. If most guys had the confidence to approach women in the day time or at random locations sober, men would be doing that en mass. In other words, just by the fact that you're willing to do it makes you a catch by default. 2 - As for people's judgement of you, I'll put it like this: It doesnt matter. People dont care as much as you think they do, first of all, and very often their judgements of you are more about them than you. When I see a guy approaching a woman, it boosts my respect for him, but then when some incel loser sees the same event take place he is hating. Who's right? Who knows. Doesn't matter. Think about all the times you saw people do weird things in public that make them stood out. So you remember their face? Would you be able to recognize them if they were standing in front of you in the starbucks line? Probably not. I once saw a guy in a crazy attire filming a music video in the middle of city square with loud music blasting. Everyone was looking at him. Judging him, humoring him. He didnt give a fuck. He's living his life. And honestly, if that same guy walked past me on the street today, i wouldn't even notice. People are living their own lives. No one really cares what you do, so you do you.

It does take more skill for sure, which is why I stated above that this is a more advanced perspective on game. However as an introvert myself, I highly disagree that this won't work for introverts. This approach requires creativity and a more laid back vibe, which introverts are more prone to have. It is also predicated on the fact that you're a man who takes care of himself as to have a healthy libido, a good vibe and a strong grounded masculine presence. If a man is out here watching porn everyday, eating like shit, not working out then yes, this definitely wont work for you cause this approach does depend on who you are as a masculine entity rather than gimmicks and lines.

You may want to actually read the post, cause nowhere in it did I advocate warm approaches or not cold approaching at all. This is a post specifically about the negative aspects of direct game - like approaching a woman and immediately making your intentions overtly clear from the start - and alternative ways to open interactions that negate those cons.

Thank you. Personally, I'm not a fan of movie dates (or any kind of date where you're watching something such as stand up, a live band, etc) as you can't really converse with your person of interest.

Great question! Remember, subtlety is key. I would advice that you pretend to tie your shoes and get up right when she walks by so that her booty grazes your nose and open with "wow, that's quite the refreshing breeze. I wonder where that came from. Oh hey there!" Field tested advice right there

Yes, if you want a family and kids, having money is a no brainer, practically speaking. But this isnt what the thread is about. This thread is about respect and how women treat you in long term relationships when you're not financially well off. OP is claiming that money is needed for a woman to respect her man in a long term relationship and that is absolutely false. Think of all the cliche stories (cliche cause they're true) of rich guys dating women who only use them for their money while secretly being emotionally committed to some broke guy living in the ghetto who she would do anything for. Come on, man. Wake the fuck up, guys. All you have to do is literally go for a walk and start noticing the wide variety of men, from all backgrounds and classes, being in long tern relationships with beautiful women.

A woman who is genuinely attracted to you wouldn't even ask you such a question in a qualifying manner. Dude, listen, you're wrong. I'm saying this from love. I know from first hand experience that your worldview is wrong. I've dated women who worked within government, scientists, dentists, girls who have a lot of status in my city for being prevalent figures in the local dance/creative/fashion scene, etc. All of these women treated me like a king. They did things for me that they wouldn't do for other men by their own admission. The government girl told me on the first date that she finds calling men "daddy" super cringe and that she is a very vanilla type of girl. Guess who was doing the exact opposite things with me 3 months later. Note: I was even unemployed when I was with the government girl Had a girl who told me that usually she doesn't care about being a little indecent in front of men (farting, burping, etc) but she felt apprehensive about being that way with me. I've even dated a known gold digger in my city. She's the type that only goes on dates with rich dudes, or so she appears to do so. This girl was hardcore flirting with me for weeks even though she knew I didnt have any real money or status. That situation was short-lived, I admit, cause her value system was repulsive to me. I have so many more examples. What matters is how you carry yourself as a man. It's the way you handle the dynamic within the relationship. The dominance, your strength, your ability to connect with her deeply as a woman. If you're showing up correctly as a self respecting man, then that's all the respect that you need. In fact, most women that I know, make fun of men who use their resources as their main pull in relationships and often just use them for their money since they don't respect them. Now, here's the thing.. I'm not saying money is bad. Money absolutely is important in life and in relationships and one should definitely strive to get their finances handled. Especially if you're planning on having a family one day. But a high income and financial dependency is NOT needed for a woman to respect you and treat you well.

Uh no. I'm 27 years old. Stop coming up with excuses dude. You can have those experiences too. Why are you choosing to be a victim?

Speak for yourself. I've been a below average earner for all of my life and I've dated a lot of gorgeous women in my life, a lot of them making way more than I did, and who treated me like a king. And no, I'm not particularly good looking either. I'm decent but nothing to write home about. Stop making excuses as to why you suck with women and accept that you just suck. Swallow that bitter pill and go out, talk to women, get rejected, learn from your failures and improve little by little over the span of years until you reach a point of being in so much abundance with women that it makrs you depressed. That's what I did.

@Leo Gura Integrated doesnt mean good. A man can love himself to an almost narcissistic self serving way and that confidence will attract a specific subset of women. You attract what you are, of course, so they're both going to be extremely dysfunctional together, but it still proves my point. Assuming you want a high quality partner then you're gonna have to integrate your being in a healthy, ever loving way to attract a quality girl.

You're right. Saying that women are attracted to masculine men is like saying that men are attracted to big tits. Yeah, generally speaking that is true but it's just one piece if the pie. What women are actually attracted are integrated men. Men who love all aspects of themselves and are living in alignment with who they really are without shame or compromising their values out of neediness. I know feminine men who are really good with women because they are brave enough to own their feminine traits and move through the world with an underlying sense of power. You look at them and instantly think "that guys is awesome" just by the energy of love they exhude within themselves and onto others. I also know very masculine men that are like that and everything in between. When you develop self love, a love for life, a love for play and socialisation, then you naturally behave in "high value" ways; You dont supplicate, you set boundaries, you express your genuine emotions, you're vulnerable, polarizing, own your sexuality, are strong in your stances and have a naturally playful relationship with the world and women.