Zenterus

The power of intuition. I want to completely surrender to its apparent divine guidance. The more I do so, the more I see that life is working for me and not against me and, consequently, the more I trust it.

@Miguel1 Been asking myself the same question every night at 3am when waking up from the nightly fever dreams I've had since that incident.

@Olaf Let me first say that I totally feel you on that last update, man. I recently had a very promising girlfriend canditate, who -- after I approached, attracted and got a number from with a solid date setup -- I managed to FUCK IT UP within 4 text messages somehow because I was running a script instead of texting her like a normal person. This happened on Tuesday and I'm still turning in my sleep and waking up in cold sweat just thinking about it. But the pain of these experiences is what is gonna get us to where we want to get to, as long as we absorb the lessons they are gifting us with.

@Olaf UPDATE!

What do I believe is wrong with me and why?

@PsychedelicEagle how can I check for microplastics in my tea bags?

Maybe it's the water that I'm drinking. In the Netherlands, tap water is drinkable but I have encountered people in my life that told me not to drink it because it still contains shitty chemicals and isn't fully purified.

We don't. @integration journey is right with his advice. Part of being an attractive man is being self trusting and not idolizing other people. You need to start trusting your own gut and not putting other individuals on a pedestal. Take advice, yes. Consider multiple perspectives, yes. But valuing one man's opinion as if they're omnipotent is only dimming your own light. No woman finds that attractive. She needs you to be the leader, she needs you to be the one she looks up to and admires. How can she do that, when you're clearly not viewing yourself in that light and are passing on that authority to someone else. Be your own man, stop sucking up to daddy Leo.

@Olaf you gotta hit the clubs dude. Find a club or a bar nearby your house (or as close as possible), get a nice fuckboy-looking outfit together (including a nice chain or necklace, no glasses, fake earrings if you dont have your holes pierced, etc), a nice perfume and fucking approach during the day, eat, shit, nap and then hit the bars and clubs at night, every day. I gotta warn you though.. I been in this game for over 10 years and I've reliably seen that whenever youre in this mindset of needing to get laid, that is precisely when it won't happen. So do it for the love of the game. Also, as @Miguel1 said: Quality over quantity. Dont just spam approach. Actually try to move things forward productively. Be physical, be polarizing, be engaging and lead as close to sex as you can. Look up my post history for in depth pickup tips. Good luck to you.

Y'all better strap up cause this is one of the craziest experiences I've had in the game so far and I don't mean that in a positive way. First and foremost: I'm so done dealing with these girls, man. Not only does dating take time away from my purpose and self-actualization journey, but the quality of women that I'm meeting are not even worth the sacrifice. There's always something fucked. Either she has multiple children at a very young age, or we're incompatible in our love-languages, or the sex is terrible, or she's just blatantly irresponsible, or she has some mental issue or crazy STI, or whatever. There's always something! But this last situation takes the cake for one of the WORST experiences I've had in the dating game in the last 10 years, no joke. Funny thing is that I took the entirety of June off from dating in order to reground myself and build a lifestyle that felt good for me independent of outside forces. Come July, I decided to get back in the game again with this new foundation established and literally the FIRST girl I get involved with leaves me completely traumatized! STORY-TIME -- literally shaking while I'm typing this -- Met this lady through daygame on the 1st of July. It was a short interaction where I found out that she was visiting my city from a nearby country because she wanted to check out the vibes and decide if she wanted to move here. She's beautiful, petite, in the mood for an adventure with the possibility of something more if she decides to stay, so "Sweet," I thought. We exchanged numbers and made plans to see each other this weekend when I would show her around the city. Unexpectedly, however, we spontaneously met later on that same day, after a little bit of texting, and she ended up spending the night (no sex, though, she was a virgin so we decided not to rush it). Fast forward a couple days and I end up seeing this girl yesterday again but this time I spent the night at her hotel and also spent a good chunk of today with her, too. The vibe was very sexual, romantic, sweet, cuddly, adventurous, open, vulnerable, etc. I wasn't even thinking about sex much because we were having so much chemistry together. Awesome, right? Well.. come to find out, this girl migrated to my city because her family basically disowned her, she has no friends, has a pending court date because she amassed MASSIVE debt due to using credit cards to buy shit for herself without the intention of ever paying it back, has stolen her parents' car without having a driver's license, has no money nor ANYWHERE that she could possibly go after she checks out at her hotel -- which basically means she might end up homeless yet seems very unbothered about that -- and keeps joking around that she wants to get married and have babies together. As I progressively learned more and more of the above points of interest, I went from empathetic, to sympathetic, to worried about her, to then suspicious of her, then straight up afraid that I may have ended up with a girl who is looking to move in with me, to horrified that I am dealing with a very unstable person -- that last part, I came to when I excused myself to the bathroom this morning to rub one out in order to harness the divine wisdom of post nut clarity. We had plans to spend the whole day together exploring different free festivals in the city but it was becoming obvious that this isn't a girl that I want to get super involved with but that I also couldn't just let her fend for herself. I literally had to reprimand her multiple times about the fact that she's not taking her situation seriously and that she should be coming up with a plan for what the hell she's gonna do when her checkout date (tomorrow, on sunday) comes! I did a shit ton of research on her behalf to find woman-friendly shelters and various organizations that could help her. When I finally came up with a plan for her, I took her back to her hotel room pre-maturely and basically let her know that this aint gonna work out but I wanna help her by accompanying her to the shelter and assisting her in getting in contact with the right people. She denied my offer, understandably, because she was hurt that I didn't want to be with her and after a fucking hour of trying to comfort her enough so that we can discuss the VERY URGENT PRACTICAL MATTERS AT HAND, I decided that we weren't getting anywhere and I should just leave and go home -- which I did -- only to receive a suicide note in the form of a whatsapp message from her, saying that she's gonna hurt herself and wishing me the best! Holy %$^# shit. Now I'm freaking out. I call the police, asap, and give them whatever info they need to intervene before anything happens to her. After 20 minutes, they call me and they start asking me very specific questions about "my side of the story" and I'm getting a weird vibe from the officer. He's asking me where I live, my social security number, the nature of my relationship with this girl, the extend of our physical intimacy, etc. And I'm thinking to myself now "ah, shit... what did this crazy girl say to the police, man.." Anyway, I know I didn't do anything wrong so I answer truthfully and then ask the officer if there's any way he can assist the girl by getting her to a shelter or something. He's like "Nah, dude, we're police officers not Green Peace" (he didn't say that, but that was basically the subtext behind his words). Anyway, we hang up and now this girl is blowing up my phone freaking out about me calling the police on her, me not wanting to be with her, accusing me of manipulating her, then begging me to come back to her hotel and talk, then she switches back to anger and accusations and I'm like "Dude... What. The. Fuck. Did. I. Get. Involved. With." I'm leaving a lot out because I could write a whole paper on the events that transpired but I basically ended up having to block her because she kept fucking texting and calling me. Before I did, though, I did send her all the info that she needs to find shelter and get help in case she does end up homeless. And now here I am, in the peace of quiet of my room, with my cortisol levels spiked to infinity and contemplating my entire life. I literally took a break from all dating and socializing in order to ground myself in love and build a life that fulfills me, which I successfully did, and the MOMENT I come back to the game, this shit happens. I'm so upset, man! I'm seriously contemplating staying single for life at this point. Women may have brought out the best in me in the past and have been present during some of the best experiences of my life, but they have also been responsible for some of the absolute WORST and now that I have experienced the level of fulfillment that is possible when one is just doing their own thing in isolation, it makes no sense to risk ever dealing with shit like this again in the future. If you read this far: Thank you, so much. I needed a listening ear.

Theres authenticity and then social skills. You can say "no" to something you dont want to do by either being blunt or even outright rude like "fuck no" or packaging it in a way that is more well received like "No, thank you" or "Hey, I'm not comfortable with that. Thanks for understanding!" Both are authentic, but each fall differently on the social skills spectrum.

Honestly, I feel like Leo needs to make a more conscious effort to promote the forum in his videos. Especially since he doesn't upload as much as of late.

Being authentic only works when you already have an attractive personality. Social skills are called a skill for a reason. Your personality is not a fixed thing. You can be the same exact person with a less or more attractive personality, meaning that you're conveying the same information about yourself from a less or more attractive lens. I can be authentic when out socializing because of all the years of brutal personality molding I've gone through in the field, but someone who hasnt gone through that -- and assuming that they're not naturally attractive internally -- would completely bomb by being themselves cause all they would be conveying is low value traits. @Olaf has to go through this phase, its part of the process. I've also gone through phases in my journey where I was hardcore into dominance, power games and boundaries, until I eventually integrated those into a more chill way of being.

Brother you're killing it! You're an approach machine and you're clearly doing your due diligence by learning from your experiences. However, this high volume of approaches doesnt leave a lot of room for depth in your interactions, i suspect. How long is your typical set? Are you getting any phone numbers that actually respond to your texts? Do you text your numbers at all, if you're getting any? Volume is an element, but not the whole pie. You still have to commit to a girl at some point and try to push that interaction as far as you can.

I agree with the overall message of your response but I disagree with this part. Pick up absolutely teaches you to be more attractive and lean into your niche. That's the only way it can work. Viewing it as a number's game is a gross oversimplification of it. No woman would be down to date and sleep with a random guy who she doesn't find attractive and who she doesn't feel some kind of strong magnetic pull to. Pick up teaches you that. It teaches you about female psychology and how to influence it to your advantage, it teaches you about manipulating social dynamics in your favour, it teaches you about personal development, fashion, being more grounded, more masculine, less reactive, more expressive, having a strong frame and, most importantly, how to polarize women with your unique personality in order to filter out the ones that are truly down vs those that aren't. I've never dated a girl who I didn't have things in common with. It can't work that way. You're conflating how women would go about picking up guys with how men have to go about it. Yes, as you get more experienced and more mature in the game of love, you do start to lean more and more into your own niche and want to get more specific about the women you are meeting because, at this point, you have a very solid idea of the type of man that you are and the type of women that would resonate with you and become much more intentional with finding those exact archetypes of women. That means joining communities, going to specific events, making friends within your niche, etc. But I wouldn't be where I currently am without pickup. I'm fun, expressive, have strong boundaries and a strong personality, have a lot of leadership qualities as well and I'm very grounded within myself. Those are all traits that I developed through pickup. It's not just about spam approaching.

1. DAYGAME SUCKS I'm about to ruffle some feathers with this one, off the bat. Keep in mind, though, that I'm speaking as someone who has been doing this for like 10 years, so I'm no longer in the business of "practising," I'm here for real consistent results and daygame doesn't provide you that. In fact, if the purpose of Game and self actualization is to develop yourself into a high value individual (for real, not as a facade) then daygame is a complete antithesis to that. What High Value man runs around during the daytime, scouting for girls to approach? A man who isn't on his purpose and who doesn't have much of a life. Daygame has the least time-investment and ROI ratio out of all the dating strategies. Even social circle game (SCG) is superior because, while SCG is much slower, you're at least getting multiple returns on your invested time -- social media content, doing cool things with cool people, having low-pressure get-togethers to invite potential prospects to. With Day Game all you get is a couple of low-conversion rate phone numbers that you collected over a ridiculous span of time depending on how high your standards are, the occasional pull here and there -- which I personally don't care to do, at this point in my journey -- and some cardio. I am in no way discrediting Day Game as a valid source of practise and potential connection. In fact, the best way to do Day Game is if you're on your purpose, out and about, and you approach girls who genuinely catch your fancy on your way to do the cool shit that you'd already be doing whether girls were around or not. But the concept of leaving your house, in the day time, specifically to meet girls is just.. nah. Even better is just be social and friendly with everyone in passing as you go through your day, without forcing anything ,and let connection and chemistry reveal itself, naturally. But your day should be spent pursuing your goals and hobbies, connecting with friends and family and making money. Now for those of you who are not convinced or you feel like this is something you have to do, then here's a little tip: Day Game during the early to mid evening, not in the afternoon, and you will get better responses. 2. BUILDING A TRIBE IS THE ANSWER TO ALL YOUR DATING WOES I know LordFall will be doing happy back-flips with this one. Here is a fact: Attraction is contextual. What is a High Value Man other than a man who stands out in some unique way within a context where other men are present? The reason that I can go to a club or a bar and get massive attraction and optionality is because the women there are evaluating me in comparison to other men. I could approach those same women one-on-one on the street and, while I can be charismatic as fuck and get her super attracted to me, her level of interest will pale in comparison to how she'd feel about me when she interacts with me in a social environment. In that context, she is witness to how others treat me, how my charisma and style stand out from the crowd around me and experiences the volatility of my attention which eventually will prompt her to chase me much harder than she would've otherwise. Most of pickup was developed before the social media age and it is time for it to adapt. When you're going out to socialize, the goal should be equally to make cool friends as it is to meet attractive women. Invite these new friends to go out with you, to come to the gym with you, meet their friends, throw parties, travel together, share ideas. This will result in you living a way more interesting life, which will then make your social media a lot more engaging (cool posts of you doing cool shit with cool men and women, as well as regular stories that your friends help you take), which makes meeting people a lot easier either because you're introduced to them by someone you know or because you're already having fun with your friends while out, which makes approaching effortless, or because your social media does a lot of the heavy lifting. Either way, you become a way more attractive man and dating becomes so much easier. I'd even go as far as to say that you should be aiming to be going out with people way more than going out with yourself. Furthermore, here's another fact: For a lot of women, attraction and emotional investment is gradual not instantaneous. That means that a lot of women need to spend time around you over a longer span of time before they fully experience genuine feelings of attraction for you. Again, this is not ALL WOMEN, this is A LOT of women, there's a difference. So perhaps it's time for you to think about not only going out to cold approach and find women who you have that INSTANT chemistry with, but also taking up a dance class, swimming, starting your own meetup event or join a running club that will open your dating pool to the rest of women that need that gradual connection. Lastly, social circle game creates the most optimal conditions for you to get your dream dating life. Women are more likely to hold you in very high regard and be utmost compliant to you when you're in a leadership position of a social circle that they're a part of and have been exposed to your power of influence over a prolonged period. This doesn't mean you can't get your dream dating life through pickup, by the way. Of course you can, I've done it, but there're levels beyond. If you're able to combine pickup with social circle and social media game, you're putting yourself in the best position to be pursued by attractive women who are, therefore, a lot more open to having whatever type of relationship you want because of all the social value you have concentrated around yourself, granted you did a good job at branding yourself in the right way. 3. WOMEN ACTUALLY DON'T LIKE PLAYERS Pickup teaches you this concept of the Lover vs Provider. The Lover being the fun, adventurous, abundant guy who doesn't give a fuck and is a bit of a wild stallion. The Provider being the safe option, the guy who went to school, got a good job and lives a very quiet boring life with very little social value, flow or swagger to him. Of course, no one wants to be the Provider, everyone wants to be the Lover because he gets the "better end of the deal." In the case you want a girlfriend, pickup teaches you to lead with being a Lover ALWAYS and then once you hookup with the girl, slowly transition into revealing more Provider qualities in you as she progressively invests in you. But actually, you want to be both from the start. The type of girl that would be attracted to a guy playing around with multiple girls in the environment, isn't a very high quality girl. Players screen for validation seeking, immature women who don't know their own worth and are, thus, looking to the player to validate them, which is why they chase their validation. A high quality woman who meets a guy in a social environment would be turned off by him flirting with multiple girls and being indecisive about who he truly wants. I've experienced this first hand so many times. One of my biggest sticking points is that when I go out, I enjoy having fun with multiple women and entertaining multiple options that I often times alienate women who might be a quality long-term option for me and, instead, end up being swarmed by a lot of validation seeking thots. The fact that you're still getting results doing that, makes it hard for you to see it as a faulty strategy because "Hey, these girls want me so it clearly works!" It takes a lot of reflection to realize that the women you alienated doing that were actually more mature compared to those that chased after you. Now, you still want to create options for yourself and interact with multiple women, but keep it lowkey and civil. Don't be too physical with any of them until you decided that they are your primary target and have a higher standard for the types of girls that you're interacting with. When all is said and done, you should be choosing between 2 or, maximum, 3 girls at any given night out socializing. The rest should've been disqualified way before it was time for you to make a decision for who you're sticking it out with for the evening. I do understand, though, that this point probably isn't very relevant to most of you. 4. LOOKSMAXXING This one is obvious yet I see so many guys dismissing it completely. Looks. Fucking. Matter. Dude. I'm not an advocate for plastic surgery and all this black pill bullshit, but you should be maximizing your fashion, grooming and overall physique. This does wonders for your game. Study the men around you who are dating the women that you want and adapt their style to yourself in an authentic way. This is important. Your look is the most immediate demonstration of value that the girl becomes aware of and so many guys pay little attention to it. It says a lot about you when you're able to dress in a way that fits a badass archetype of man comfortably without having cognitive dissonance or imposter syndrome -- which is why a lot of men don't do it. I won't harp on this point too much, but this isn't about looking like a buffed out Alpha Male. I know guys who are fat who are badasses. They dress in a cool way, have tattoos, masculine facial hair, a few nice accessories, a mullet and are surrounded by women. On the flip side, I know men who are physically fit and have a chiseled jaw that dress like their mom picks out their outfits. Now, I would advice most of you to get in shape, so please don't take the above example as an excuse not to, but the point is make sure you look as badass as you can right now. It matters.

I remember that thread and I mostly agree with what you said on the initial posting. Where I disagree is that men's attraction is not relational. It actually is. Russian girls are, by most, considered very attractive women, especially when you encounter one outside of Russia. However, if you go to Russia where all women look like that, all of a sudden one of them doesn't seem that much more attractive in comparison. If you're used to being around 10s then when you look at a girl that's a 7, you clearly view her as unattractive (in looks). But if you go to a country where most girls are 6s and then you encounter a 7, she almost looks like a 10 in comparison! All attraction is relational.

For me it's keeping busy. As long as I'm on my purpose and discipline, I don't get lonely. Even in the weekends, I can go out either with existing friends or go make new ones, so it rarely hits me very strongly. Although, when it does, I usually just curl up in a ball and watch brainrot content while smoking a joint.

@Emerald Exactly. Although, if all you're looking for as a man is to get laid, then go nuts. I'm speaking from the perspective of wanting to attract high quality partner, which I believe you are as well.

@Leo Gura @Lyubov I agree. Again, daygame is valid as a strategy but it has the lowest ROI out of all of them. It's no accident that some of the greatest PUAs basically only do night game. You gotta go where the party is and meet people who are out specifically to socialize and mate. If you want to chill and do a picnic, you go to the park, you don't just set up a blanket in the middle of the street. Social venues and events exist for a reason and day game is antithetical to that. Don't get me wrong though. I met my ex from daygame, I met a lot of my FWBs from daygame and had overall great success with it, but if you want consistent results and a better ROI for your efforts, daygame should be viewed as a complementary source of prospects rather than your bread and butter. Dating apps, nightgame and social circle game are the real bread and butter.

@Sugarcoat Thank you

Of course not! You're better than that! I see what you're saying here and I do agree that you want to have your own tribe that's centered around you and your unique interests. However, you don't have to build your own meetup event to have that materialize. You can momentarily join other people's social circles and either systematically establish yourself as a leader (which any guy with any decent cold approach experience will easily be able to do compared to most normie guys) or you can simply extract the people you connect with the most and invite them to join your own social circle separately. The latter one is interesting because when you start inviting specific people from an existing social circle to join you on your own adventure on the side, other people start to get curious about you and where they stand with you because you didn't invite them. Over time, that can also lead to you becoming the center piece of the previously existing social circle because of the social value you convey with your selectivity and the stories they hear about you from the people you did invite to join your adventure.

@MarkKol Yes

Very profound insight that I had a few months ago.

@Inliytened1 It wasnt moving dude, what? Lol.