Zenterus

I second this, but I would recommend not to spend money on insta-dates. I personally just tell the girl that I have to get going soon but that she should sit down with me in a nearby bench to vibe real quick. Taking girls for ice cream and coffee and shit is okay, but it adds up over time and it doesn't guarantee a result. In fact, paying for a girl who hasnt gotten dressed up to meet you on a date, loses you points actually, cause it's kinda simpy. Why would a high value man who is still deciding if he even likes the girl be spending money on her after a couple minutes of talking? Do the bench instead.

Insight: One of the reasons that humans have a weird relationship with their anus, genitals and sexuality is because those aspects of us remind us of our inherent animalistic nature and thus become a gateway towards deeper existential realizations about our fallibility and, ultimately, mortality.

It depends on the context, but I typically am indifferent, emotionally, to seeing a woman cry. Women, generally speaking, seem to be more in touch with their emotions and are more readily willing to express them, so seeing a woman cry is akin to seeing her angry, or frustrated, or happy, to me. Now, how I respond to it depends on the narrative I subscribe to behind her crying. If I feel like its crocodile tears aimed at manipulating a situation, then I respond with non-chalance. If I feel like she's genuinely hurting because of something that happened, I will comfort her and give her the space to express her emotions, which I will then validate for her. Other times, it's a none-factor. Like, they've been times where I'll be having a conversation with my sister about a serious topic and, as a result of the subject matter, she'll start crying, but we'll continue talking as if nothing is happening. Of course, I've made the mistake of trying to fix a girl's emotional outburst, in the past, with very little positive result, but I've since learned to just give it space to be without judgement or needing to control it, somehow.

Not at all. I believe it's a spectrum that we fluctuate up and down on throughout our lives. But I do believe that some people are naturally more inclined towards being more social than others.

Uhh.. social circle game is more geared towards extroverts. Cold approach is actually the best option for introverted men.

Nah dude. Approaching strangers is akin to venturing into the unknown. No matter how many times you do it, you dont know how the other person will react. There's also the social pressure aspect where people might see you do it and there's a certain kind of sexual shame that you feel as a consequence because you're openly exposing your desires to the world, while also potentially exposing yourself to be rejected publically which can feel a little embarrassing. This never goes away. I still get approach anxiety after 10 years of active pickup experience. @Olaf Instead of viewing it as you needing to do 3 perfect approaches, just focus on engaging in the right behaviours no matter how the girl reacts. Speak loud, hold eye contact, square up, be confident and intentional. As long as you do that, the approach counts, no matter how the girl reacts. Now, if she happens to react positively, try to see how far you can push the interaction. I like to use a point system, personally. An approach counts as 1 point, a longer interaction as 2 and a longer interaction that I got an instagram or number from counts as 3. So, when you go out, you're aiming to get 3 points. If you just do 3 approaches, that satisfies it. But if you have a longer interaction without closing, which counts for 2, then all you have to do is one more solid approach and you won. Now if you close that one longer interaction then you're free to go home, but if you decide to continue approaching, you're doing so out of inspiration rather than for an outcome. This mentality also "gamifies" the game and takes the seriousness and brutality out of it.

Just studied Quantitative Reasoning Mathematics for 2 hours straight after a 9 hour shift 💪🏾

Sorry to hear this man! That sucks! How did you find out? What were the symptoms?

@Valach Dont waste your time, please.

Brother, if you think that trauma and socialization arent interconnected, you're greatly mistaken. In fact, having a high body count or being hypersexual, as psychologists call it, is often corrated to having a degree of trauma. Trauma manifests the most in relationships with others, not in isolation, as trauma is most often caused by your loved ones or people whose love you seeked when you were growing up. As children we dont have a mature way of handling that trauma and thus we stunt our bodies natural emotional processing system -- because part of that process is actually experiencing those painful emotions fully, which sucks to do -- and thus we store those traumatic sensations in the body and develop belief systems on top of them that are meant to protect us from experiencing that same pain again. Fast forward to adulthood and those traumatic emotions and belief systems quietly run the way we conduct ourselves in relationships with others, often in a dysfunctional way precisely because we are afraid of getting hurt. To go back to the example of hypersexuality, a person who was brutally rejected by their peers growing up, might develop an inner wound around sociam rejection and thus spend their entire life chasing approval from others by having sex with a lot of attractive women (which gets him the validation of those women) while at the same time boasting about it or finding indirect ways to convey to other men that he is sleeping with all these women (which gets him the validation of men). On the flip side, someone may have experienced that same social rejection but built a victimized belief system that, instead of turning him into a casanova as an adult, completely stuns him and blocks him from fully expressing themselves charismatically out of an internal belief that doing so wound result in them experiencing that old childhood pain of rejection, again. In both cases, healing is necessary in order to live a happy life and be able to relate to others authentically, without performance or manipulation. Now, I wouldnt go as far as to say that social skills ain't a thing like @Valach said. They absolutely are. Sales is a form of social skill, office politics are a form of social skill, and game is a form of social skill as well. In all of the three fields above, being unstifled, free and confident definitely helps, but there are also dynamics and "social games" at play that one needs to be exposed to and gradually becomes proficient in, in order to get the best outcomes.

I agree with everyone here, man. This spam approaching you keep doing is teaching you nothing. I've seen you infield, dude, your sticking points are beyond the approach and you should be focusing on those, instead. This is starting to feel like some kind of self-sabotage thing where instead of actually going deep with a woman and trying to make it work by focusing less on quantity and more on quality, you're instead spreading yourself thin as a way to feel like you're being productive in some way rather than actually getting results.

Bruh

Literally.

"Oh.. you're definitely a red flag!"

I don't know how fetlife is in Canada, but every munch I've been to in the Netherlands sucked. The women are not that attractive and a lot of them neurodivergent in some form or another. I can pickup a hotter, neuro-normative girl in a regular social meetup and gradually introduce her to my depraved sexual fantasies over time, which is preferable than having to deal with these fetlife people. And, of course, if you think about it, it makes perfect sense. 9s and 10s have no issue attracting dominant men in their lives. They don't need to go on fetlife unless there's something wrong with them. Same with feeld. Any dating app or website that is explicitly about sex, usually attracts unattractive women who have trouble procuring it naturally.

Dude, I've been feeling a similar kind of way, lately. I spent a good chunk of yesterday questioning if I even want a girlfriend at all and I'm left so conflicted by it. On one hand, it would be nice to have a woman by my side that i trust, I'm deeply in love with and who I can grow and bask in the experiences of life with. On the other hand, literally most women that I meet, I feel nothing for. I'm not sure if it's the massive sexual abundance I've conditioned myself with during my player years that have erroded my ability to really see the beauty in these women or whether I just genuinely don't connect with them. All I know is that these days when I go out, i am not motivated at all to socialize, to date, to pursue, to approach much. I've fallen so in love with loving myself that socializing can feel like self-neglect/compromise sometimes. Will I call it quits? I don't know, man, probably will keep trying. However, I will definitely take it slower and let it come at its own time.

Spiral Dynamics is a useful model for tracking maturity in human beings, I am not disputing that. It's not a perfect model, as no model ever is, but it is definitely very sophisticated. However, I see so many people on this forum not only misunderstanding it and taking it as absolute fact, but also falsely assigning certain higher stages to themselves, which is such an egoic thing to do and completely antithetical to being a mature person, honestly. People out here spouting "I'm a system's thinker, therefore I'm Yellow!" Meanwhile their entire motivation is founded in the thirst for power, sex, influence and other selfish stage orange pursuits. Others are yelling out atop rooftops that they're Turquoise or whatever while being so inherently judgemental of everyone around them and at the same time aggrandizing themselves in comparison. Even worse, I see so many people labelling others who disagree with them as being in lower stages and needing to ascend, which is so cringey in and of itself. Know this: If you're out here self identifying yourself as tier 2 and creating an ego around it, you're probably lower on the spiral than you'd want to admit.

@Inliytened1 Very curious what your story is in relation to women. Are you a former pua? Always was good with women? Or what?

@something_else The list you compiled is just absolutely wild. Even I didnt know it was this bad and blatant and I started the damn thread.

@Olaf Sure, if by "nice guy" you mean being manipulative, fake and supplicative, then I agree with you. But I call that being weak rather than being nice, there's a difference. No woman sees that kind of behaviour and thinks "oh, he's so nice." They might say that to the guy as a way to manipulate him into doubling down on his supplicative behaviours (because it benefits them) or to reject him in a polite way, but in reality women see that guy for what he is: a sucker. And while I absolutely am the epitome and definition of a perfect masculine manly man (humbly), Im actually not against buying girls drinks. I mean, yeah, if I approach a girl and shes like "buy me a drink" then I'll tell her to fuck off (literally). However, if I think a girl genuinely likes me and is invested in me and it's very likely that we'll go home together—meaning that she's been qualifying herself to me, has been compliant and even followed me to a secondary location—I'm not against buying her a drink.

The blind leading the blind. Most men's idea of being nice is synonymous to being a weak pussy. That's what women don't like, not the nice part. In fact, the longer I am in the game, the nicer I am to women. But I still have boundaries, I'm still being authentic, I'm still grounded, fun, charming, dominant, assertive, willing to tease, etc. Women respond to strength. Strength comes in all forms. Trying to mold yourself and bend your own values into something you think the woman will like is inherently weak. Instead, ask yourself: "In what ways am I weak as a man?" The answers will come to you and now you have a roadmap to success Furthermore, find multiple men who you deeply respect and admire and ask yourself "Why do I hold these men at high regard and what traits do they possess that I do not?" For more insight. Being a douche isn't gonna get you any results if the woman doesnt inherently find you attractive on that primal level. It will only result in harsher rejections and potentially developing a very negative reputation in your city

@Ramanujan -⅓

I like who I am when I am with a woman I really care about. Her mere presence in my life motivates me to do better, to be stronger, more resourceful, more on top of my shit. She inspires me. I also love women's inclination towards nurture and their desire to be an asset to your life. When a woman really likes you, she wants to help you achieve your goals, she wants to take care of you when you're sick, she wants to feel special abd irreplaceable in your life. I have a deep appreciation for this quality. Of course, I also love their feminity, their quirkiness, their little absurd (to me) insecurities, how in touch with their emotions they can be, etc. Women are awesome, man.

Was a great night, man!

Is it just me or has Leo unprivated a lot of old videos that I haven't seen, which is why they keep popping up as recommendations on Youtube?