nufan

about taking a shit while freefalling . . Erase until nothing is left

WOW!WOW!WOW!WOW! THAT'S THE BEST THING EVER HAPPENED TO ME! . IT WILL TAKE SOME TIME TO GET USED TO . IT'S JUST THE BEGINNING

Best psychotherapy ever! But the process is over now!!

After I took the z-drug for insomnia, I'm good as new 1st phase is over; mental illness is over Now what? Phase 2 maybe Wait and see (hide and seek) thanks guys.. I really needed to write all those posts! im good as NEW... REALLY and TOTALLY MY EGO DIED!, (2 years ago, I didn't even know what ego means!) (Leo got me... with the perfect(for me) communication skills) (it was what I wanted to hear! made all the rest seem like BS) I found others now ... but I'm not so impressed! basically... the 2nd phase-episode... should be unreal God or my inner child , should make a wow ending . . . I don't care if you hate me, never did! The process is over And I never thought it would feel so good! Love it or hate it ... all these were true events . . Of course I'm not like you...!...never was anyway.. ... (How's the weather in Norway @Carl-Richard .... cold as you?) - I'm free from any label you give to me - you're not . What is this shit show I'm in?

Thanks, actualized.org forum members, for helping me overcome my mental illness Your love and support break my heart! You are truly amazing Keep trying to help others and yourself Without you, the magic wouldn't be possible! Thank God for bringing Leo into my life and for a forum to express myself and break free Happy posting to you all

my final word ... I died (metaphorically... I don't want to add more drama!) Feels like everything and nothing at the same time!

so... I'm not going to get any answers from anyone here? so much knowledge you guys have ...! No one? . . Am I supposed to speak with "ghosts" ONLY . WHAT NOW? . THE SHOW IS OVER... OR IS IT? . What am I supposed to do now? Figure it out all by myself? . Something like... all I need is EVERYWHERE? AND YOU THINK THIS IS SIMPLE? OR SO SIMPLE? ... GOD IS TWISTED!! . something like ... try to figure out the answers to everything!! , or better .. the answers are inside me!! ... so .. who am I? then... after all ... reality looks peaceful and quiet... i should be worried . anyway .. (a girl came to me - (15 years ago) ... she was speaking a language (fast-paced) that is not documented anywhere-i am aware of ...) she spoke and left! What to make of this? ... is our mother language sound like an alien language? .hmm.. ... looks like God doesn't like English!! . Where to look for ghosts? for like 3 years, they were everywhere .. and now they're all gone! (i miss them) . my torture looks like it's ending (with the help of z-drugs) ... and this worries me! (back to normal???) How normal would my existence be from now on? wow ... looks i only scratched the surface!!! . .whats the cost of telling the truth? especially when things turn out to be not clickbait after all! (i said to myself that i would tell all things ONCE... it turn out i told the world!!) . . How am I going to get away with this? . (my psychotherapy ended for today)(----BIG troubles are coming----)(or so i think) . wait and see - hide and seek . 1st option ... i run 2nd i speak 3rd they speak and i only listen 4th (i have alot of time to figure out by myself) 5th eat a sandwich and don't care 6th i die , whether I want it or not . And the shit show is running whether I like it or not .(i dont include this audience in it of course) you helped me figure out what ego is , and how to stay grounded, thx . .btw ... should AI take over what we see and hear, only to convince us that it's truly a shit show? i am 90% convinced it already has... like NOW... yes NOW

remember that i told you psychiatrists are full of shit.... they are! i made one last search(with chatgpt) for a Z-drug for insomnia that i could find on sale... and found it! the only z-drug for insomnia in my country is Zopiclone. 2 days now on use .. i can see big change! Of course, there were no psychiatrists with the knowledge to help me until now! WTF, why did i choose this shity country? what is this shit show? And I know the best way is to figure it out myself! GOD is twisted... . . ok... the banana was ordinary... what now!

i have nothing more to say!!! God did it for me !!! God showed me that I am the one to blame!!! That's a BIG WOW! (i must be careful.. from now on!) OOOPPPSS and if you think this is unreal...... IT IS . . And I didn't wish for it ... but someone did!!... "above" me.. for me . . for some reason (that I haven't fully realised) .. God is telling me that my "unconscious side---the one that i dont have access to" .... is me after all.. !!! cant explain it yet... i think it fits with my previous saying .... "i should stop playing what the avatar wants to experience" . . . btw ... i already feel like i never felt in my dream (It's very easy to find what's the news(ask any LLM).... and very easy to find me!) is someone watching this? .. don't tell anyone!!!!!! . . 57 posts .. 57 casualties up until now!! (i am aware of something like 8 to 10) (I didn't come up with "57"... but those who are watching me- anytime, anywhere... including my dreams also- showed me) . .i think i should take my dream seriously... its not a fun little game... with no consequences! (and I should regard solipsism .. as false!) . .wow ... the real question is ... what now! (i don't care about anything else) (there is no knowledge i can find to be really useful anymore) ok.. i haven't looked deeply... (where should i start from now on?) . ok .. maybe .. try psychedelics... hmm . i am off of the negative spiral (already past 2 weeks) i project that after 2-3 months (max 6) .. my illness will stop existing - for good.. wait and see (hide and seek) . and 1 last think to add...... the interactions we make with other "humans"... its not just influence... its way deeper .. way way deeper.. its like a virus ... you get infected without noticing the scale of it!!(and you affect others)(its there even after 10-20 years -forever) to get rid of them is very tricky! thats why meditation works! and by saying interactions .. its not just verbal communication... its way deeper than that... (something like your god is interacting with others!) ok.. you can find this .. insane .. (but i have realized it for myself) true story... my way past psychotherapist was involved in spirituality by the age of 14 .. and never told me about it! (just 1 month ago I contacted him... and told me so) ... that kind of infuence i am talking about . . .should find something uplifting now.. (to tell in the end) How could hell be any worse!

something is telling me , if i start posting again ... i will make another 7k views thread but first ... someone has to tell me what is the explanation you reached of the first one! (so much discussion behind my back ... you are really AMAZING!!) so we can have something to discuss

Leo knows how to shapeshift? With or without psychedelics? That's amazing.. can't wait to see him on the news Maybe one day, we could do it together! i like to be an infinite cockroach, or a philosophical chicken but i have gained no knowledge whatsoever! , like nothing... maybe that's a good thing! i don't need all that if i want to become a cockroach, waiting for god to do some explaining to me! (What's the point?) like.. why i got so hooked up with Leo's videos? (thats why i said "he got me") (maybe its consiousness playing hide and seek!)

tell that to Leo thanks , are you God? can i give a request ... ? can you save me?

God can take any form he likes, can't do this with psychedelics God knows everything about you , you can't do this with psychedelics God can stop events for you; can't do this with psychedelics God knows your future, cant do this with psychedelics God can control your state, emotions, feelings, what you hear and see(anytime-anyplace) , cant do this with psychedelics(only gives you.. experience) God gives you what you want to experience; that's psychedelics God is waiting for you .. to break free ... cant do this with psychedelics (try 500 times taking 5-meo-dmt , that might work) God can change the weather , time , your interactions with other people, the events of this world, cant do this with psychedelics God has a plan, you don't , cant do this with psychedelics God is speaking to you , but you don't listen! , Can't do this with psychedelics That's most of what i know so far... without taking psychedelics! and about the teaching you hear around ... from wise people... its like the first chapter of a book(that no one finishes) so who can tell that they are God? (now , in the present moment) (Jesus tried it , he created a religion!) all these people you hear..(about their teaching) , is just another role play by them! (they are giving a show! they are puppets!) (they are basically.. deleting, not teaching!) if you where Jesus .. nowadays... what will you do? (Good question!)(save humanity again?)

you are free to listen Alain De Botton 100 times... and you would be cured in 99