Never_give_up

@Breakingthewall Thank you for the reply! I am feeling much better cause of all these answers that are positive and gave me direction and told me I can change my life.

@Breakingthewallthank you for the answer and for the help! Can you elaborate what is depth perception and how to be open hearted? Based on what I wrote do you believe that I shouldn't have a low self esteem when it comes to IQ? Like I shouldn't feel inferior or that I don't understand things that others do but instead feel capable of understanding things like every other person? To be honest I am not creative (even though I try to draw) or fast or good memory (all these 3 traits I am way below average), but I used to have innate good analytical skills and huge curiosity about reality, way more than the average person. So it seems to me that I may have high IQ in certain areas and low IQ in others. But honestly, personaly, I consider creativity the highest form of intelligence and analytical skills the lowest.

Can I develop sense of humour just by socializing and listening to humour till my mind start to subconsciously grasp how humour works (which is just having experience)? They say , most of the time people need high IQ to have good sense of humour, but I wasn't bless with high IQ, quite the opposite. But if it's mostly experience then isn't it the case that even with low IQ a person can become funny cause she/he has a lot of experience with humour? Unrelated topic: is drawing the same? mostly a matter of practice and experience even if someone has low IQ?

If I was in your position I wouldn't touch any of these things. Maybe a little alcohol is not bad but personally I wouldn't drink even alcohol. I am addicted to food and internet and it's really difficult to overcome addictions. It would be better if I hadn't start using them more than I should, cause now I can't break free from them. If you ever addicted to things remember 1)will power and self control are finite 2)you need to change your enviroment so you don't have these things in easy access or at any access at all, it should be difficult to do your addiction not easy 3)you need purpose (that's the one that is difficult for me). If you have a purpose you get dopamine naturally, you won't need any substance.

@Someone hereThank you so much, that's very supportive. You and the rest of the people in the comments were very supportive and gave me hope and power. Thank you.

@Someone hereI have very low IQ, past traumas like repeated beatings, humiliation, discrimination from family and non family for years, I wasted my life on trying to understand reality but reality is a paradox it can't be understood. I live with my parents even though they abused me (but they don't abuse me anymore, especially since I am always in my room or outside), I have autism(diagnosed but I am not sure I have autism),ADHD(self diagnosed), I am on welfare(not enough money for anyone to support himself, but grateful for the help nonetheless) cause of a lifetime of psychological problems like anxienty, neuro divergent brain and social isolation, I am short unnatractive virgin and will always be till the end. That's some things that bring me down. But what really made me want to delete myself is thinking what will happen when my parents pass away. When this normal but tragic thing happen I can't imagine myself working, I prefer to delete myself than doing something I don't like, full of anxienty, boredom, sadness. The average person doesn't feel such negative feelings working, but it seems that I do. But now I think things more brightly. I do art (although I have zero talent) and when my parents pass away I will go to Holland and work some job of those that most people don't want to work that don't require skills or high IQ and can make you live decently. I can't work in my country in this stressful enviroment with my idiosyncrasy, but when I went to Holland, it seemed that people were respected no matter their work and they have good conditions to work and decent money even in low paid jobs and it was very civilised country. I know many will blame me why I don't leave now for Holland, but I am too scared to do it right now and it was only yesterday that I thought of it. I live in Europe so I don't need VISA as far as I know, so this make things easy. That's the reason I wanted to end myself, cause I didn't have any solution how to acquire money in my conditions, but I can definitely work in a positive enviroment unlike my harsh enviroment in my country (if I lived in a worse country I would definitely not survive). So I was in a dark place but right now that I found a solution I feel better. If my parents become abusive ever again I am definitely going to go to Holland even if they chase me (as I have told in post months ago, that I am scared of my parents trying to put me in mental hospital but that's another story which is better not to have a conversation about cause it's too dark and I want to stay positive as I am right now). Thank you.

@Someone hereI was thinking of deleting myself, but I feel much better today. I don't know if I am going to make it cause I am trapped in a bad life (it's my fault that the situation turned out that way) but I feel that maybe there are solutions and there maybe potential for a very good life. It's interesting but I wonder if you sensed that I wanted to delete myself even though I tried not to indicate that on the post or you said it randomly. Thank you all for your answers so far!

I don't want to think any more. Not only I think, but I overthink. Thinking only lead to paradoxes and suffering. I don't want to contemplate ever again. I don't care about enlightment and knowing reality any more, it just makes things worse. I only want to act and enjoy. Does focusing on breath on the moment like meditation destroys thinking activity? I am thinking of having only 1 relaxing and inspiring visualazation thought and focusing on breath. I want to be on a state of not thinking to a ridiculus level. I came to hate thought so much like never before. My mind ruminates all the time, it destroys me. I can't enjoy life anymore cause my mind is thinking daily stuff or spiritual stuff all the time, I have lost control. I hate thinking, it's the worse activity ever. Any idea what to do?

@aurumalthough I am feeling much better today, (yesterday I was bitter cause I rembembered my traumas and wanted to vent), I will answer the question. I don't have anything in particular to say, but I remember that I have seen hypocricy too much from people that critisize ''black pill'' beliefs. the biggest hypocricy from the normie worldview is that: 1)there isn't discrimination for people that are unnatractive. This is very big. There are a ton of studies and anecdotal evidence that shows huge discrimination in serious things in life that ''ugly'' people (short men for example like me) are punished in this life for no other reason just cause they are not attractive. I wrote some personal stuff myself. The opposite is also true, the more attractive someone is, the more rewards he/she will get. 2)gaslighting unnatractive men that they are not trying hard enough. This is not good and it's difficult to explain. You could say that in everything in life we just ''don't try hard enough'' when we don't succeed but I wonder, can people really try hard enough? Some do try and get or don't get results but most people just have a limit. We don't blame the average person for not being a billionaire or not being a bodybuilder or whatever cause he/she didn't try hard enough, but we understand that they didn't try hard enough probably and we accept it that some people fail and others don't. It's good to say to someone to try hard if they want to achieve something, but if they don't succeed don't blame them (not you personally). 3)''black pill is evil''. What is black pill? Is it people that want to harm others? If yes then am not ''blackpiller''. Is it people that understand that the best raw attraction is being very tall, then being good looking, and then being a little interesting? if yes then I am a ''blackpiller''. Why am I evil for knowing how things work? This is just hating (which proves that unnatractive people are easily hated, cause most people that have searched these stuff are people that are already unnatractive). Let's suppose I am wrong and looks aren't important. Why that makes me evil? People that believe I am evil for believing this stuff are hypocrites cause they are the real evil. They say that blackpillers are violent. Firstly there are way more violent groups than blackpillers and secondly I agree that many of them are too toxic, violent (and more pessimistic than they should) but this isn't the fault of all people that are labeled blackpillers. 4)blackpill is unscientific. The truth is that most of the things that blackpill tells, are supported by scientific studies. For example there have been studies that show that in prosperous societies, people become taller cause women select taller men (it's not about the good nutrition that makes everyone taller). Most people deny this. It's funny but these beliefs sooner or later become mainstream , they just have to be presented by someone that is respectable in society. To be honest I don't consider myself to be blackpill cause it's a label. I just believe some of the stuff they believe cause of science and personal experience. Sorry for the negativity. In the future I will avoid talking about blackpill stuff. I did it cause it was the topic but I try not to think about these subjects too much cause they make me feel negative feelings and pessimism (it's still good to know the truths though).

@Miguel1thank you for trying to help. In the end I just have to accept that some things aren't as I like and I just need to do what I like (drawing) and find a way to survive and cure my addictions and problems. I may not accomplish it fully but at least I should try. I hope reincarnation is real , just in case I don't make it in this lifetime . (Having low IQ is the worst though. Low IQ just means I am incapable of doing things that others can do, and generally it means being powerless... ) Anyway, thank you!

@BlessedLionmaybe I should stop being so bitter about my traumas and just draw and have fun. Thank you for trying to help. Your suggestions and way of thinking is helpful.

@BlessedLionMy life is completely destroyed objectively speaking. I am just waiting to be deleted. The only joy I have is art, I draw when I feel like it, but I am compelety talentless. People are very social, so they can't be happy when they are ''rejected by the tribe''. I would say art is the only thing I like, but even that makes you feel depressed when you know you are talentless (especially when you suspect it's cause of low IQ). I need to change my life and I try but my addictions don't help me. Sorry for the previous post, I needed to vent.

I am 5'6 feet, I have been discriminated by a ton of people cause of my height, including authority figures repeatedly, I have been beaten and humiliated in school by sociopaths/sadists for years, I have been beaten at home for breathing repeatedly, I have very low IQ (I was good only in informatics that I had a talent, I tried 2 times to pass exams for a university and failed no matter how hard I tried), I have been diagnosed with autism and it could be the case that the diagnosis was right, people just don't like you at 5'6 and treat you badly, especially when you are asocial and this is your experience plently of the time in your life. Last 5 years I have ADHD(self diagnosed) and addictions cause of this life that have made me completely unnatractive and simply a loser. Now you tell me why I think black pill is real. Could it be because it's true? Nah, it couldn't be that. It couldn't be the case that I was discriminated cause of height, it must be my imagination, discrimination isn't real and if it is , it couldn't be so bad. Right? Blackpillers have extremely negative views, and society extremely positive views, but I see more hypocricy in the normie worldview. Existentially you could say it's all determinism, bad karma. The truth is that I have good analytical skills and existential curiosity. In the rest of the traits, I am cursed. Half the problem is people don't like me for being short, another half is my low IQ neuro divergent problem. It's just a tragedy haha. I have gone to clubs, I tried to be social. It works, but you have to do a ton of stuff to get low results. No thanks.

I can't find psychedelics, and I have real problems with doing something I don't like , like meditation(it's literally impossible for me to do something that isn't interesting to my brain). I can do contemplation but lately it doesn't lead me anywhere, it just wears me down. Should I quit and no longer suffer from my desire to understand things better or there are other ways?

Is any country that I can do that psychedelic in a legal way and easy way to find them? How much does it cost? Will this psychedelic show the quintessence of reality (the highest knowledge)? Can you describe your experiences with this psychedelic and what you learned?

I think I will die a virgin. I am sure to be honest. I have zero personality, zero humour, I am 5'6, I am not intelligent. I workout a lot because when I was fit I got a lot of attention from women many many years ago, but I don't know if it will be the same if I achieve fitness levels again. I have way much more muscle than before and women don't like too much muscle. How do you people or people you know cope? how to cope? how to live without regret and pain from the primal desire that can't be fufilled? What would you do or do in my position?

I am scared of death. I believe in Oneness, and eternal reincarnation. I didn't have any awakening or experience of it but since I heard Leo talking about it I feel it that it's more accurate than conventional atheist or theist popular beliefs. Here is the problem. I am so attached to this life that I don't want to go to the next. I love this life, I love not being old, I love my parents (although I have huge problems with them as I have told before), I love my health. Some months ago I felt dizzy and thought I was going to die (it was probably just a panic attack), and I thought how much I don't want to leave this life.I had years to feel that scared, I was extremely scared. Please don't take this question lightly, I feel extreme feelings of sadness when I think that I will leave this life. Or that I will suffer in my life, like we all do from time to time. I feel I am not enjoying this life as much as I want and still I love this life so much, and I also would hate to lose everything I have. What should I do? Even if I live this life to the fullest, it will never be enough when it stops. Paradoxically, I feel like I want to stop living cause I feel scared that i will stop living, which is suffering. I am so scared of death and suffering. What should I do? What would you do or actually do yourself? Any advice?

@Salvijusthank you for the copium. So I should think that most people don't get real love anyway, and it's the norm?

@Sugarcoatand how do you cope? do you find yourself feeling sad sometimes? what you think the solution is not to feel bad?

@Razethat's a lot of suggestions, thank you @LordFall I am bad at it cause of low intelligence, I am socially inept no matter how much experience I get , so I don't approach. @Princess Arabia @Peo @Yimpa Never give up what? trying to find a girlfriend or not give up living my life , fighting to live my life, not caring about getting a girlfriend, and being more positive, which one of those 2 you mean?

I feel like I have a lot of feminine traits that are unnatractive to women to a very big extent and not many masculine traits . How do I become more masculine? My parents never taught me anything about masculinity, I didn't even know masculinity and femininity was a thing, I only now start to learn about it. examples: I am not a leader (hate leading), i am shy (that's the worse thing ever for a man), my looks are just bad (too short), no humour, I don't have enough courage unless someone wants to fight me (i always defend myself), i feel amazing if a woman gives me attention (that's too feminine) and the list goes on and on. I really need to work a lot to change but I don't know how and what to change.

This question has confused me a lot lately. Please don't ignore this question, it may seem it hasn't any validity but I from my POV it's very clear they have and maybe you feel the same. So for example, why I see pink right now and not any other colour (qualia)? Why I live this moment out of infinite others I could live? there must be a hierarchy of moments that will appear, why this one and not any other ? (what's the ''algorithm'' of the appearance of moments and why they are like that?) If every colour is the same (although different in a way) , why would God choose this one instead of a different one? what make this colour so special? There are finite number of colours, why they construct themselves in a certain way, being ''chosen'' when any other colour could be there? To make matters even worse, what if there are infinite amount of qualia of colours that could potentially exist, what would be the mechanism that would choose a specific colour instead of any other different colour? To make things even worse, why there is an assymetry in what I see on the right side and the left side of my visual perception? Why I couldn't see things in the right side that are in the left and vice versa (assymetrical or symetrical doesn't matter)? How could consciousness pick one and favour it when it could achieve the ''same'' experience from the opposite side? Could it be that determinism is an illusion and God is picking something while it could have picked something different? I hate free will , I dread it, but it seems to me that there is no other way for this to happen other than God having free will (randomness). It's like consciousness picks qualia instead of others with the same qualities for no reason. Another thing that has no reason behind it, it's an illogical thing, a paradox. Paradoxes are everywhere. What do you think about all these? Have you ever thought of these things before? Do you have other things that seem to have no reason yourself? Most importantly, how can this be the case with qualia being picked instead of infinite others when they have nothing special more than any other colour? Of course I am talking about colours, but going meta the bigger picture is not about colours, it's about everything, every qualia, every experience.

@Sugarcoatbut it doesn't make sense from something to happen if it hasn't a mechanism (and yet it happens?). I don't know why it's so important to me, but since I was a kid 5-6 years of age, I was intrigued by reality and something in me always told me that knowing reality is the highest thing that a being can do. I will contemplate a little more and if I don't find answers I will stop, cause health is priority and not finding answers make me feel really bad. @Leo Guraso I think it's better if I stop trying to understand everything and just experience this Mystery, this life, cause that's the point of life. @UnbornTaoI contemplate so much it became unhealthy and thus these questions. I think I will stop being so obssesed with these questions and concentrate on other things in life. I will do some more contemplation though, just in case I find something and if it is too much for me I will stop.

@SugarcoatI understand what you are saying and indeed it could be random and not deterministic but then how could there be any mechanism that makes an experience random? Determinism make sense, something was meant to happen this way. But randomness can't have any mechanism, cause why would an experience or whatever qualia be chosen instead of any other? It's like, the more we try to answer these questions then more questions appear and even worse, they have no answers. Everytime I try to answer these questions confusion is the only state I get, it makes me want to quit inquiry

@Sugarcoatthat's so true but then the question becomes , how a mechanism is even possible like that? take programming algorithms for example. They literally wouldn't be able to function if the human programer weren't biased towards a choice. Even when programming seems like it shows a random choice, it actually doesn't, it just picked the specific number from the clock and make it appear as it was random. So yes, you are absolitely right, if everything appeared at once, well how could infinite things appear at once? they couldn't. But that doesn't solve the mystery of how could then God has a choice to pick anything instead of any other thing. It's a total mystery, a totaly can't happen thing that actually happens. I am so confused