• Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by ThomasT

  1. A country cannot join NATO while currently in a conflict. So while there are disputes surrounding Crimea, Donetsk and Luhansk, Ukraine won't be accepted into NATO. These could last for a long time. Also, keeping Ukraine from developing their own natural gas reserves is an economic win. Here is an interesting look on nuclear war and its game theory:
  2. Following leo's guided self inquiry I got my first experience of nothingness. This was before any psychedelics. Did not last long and I could not really make sense of it. My heart started going 100mi/h and i felt a lot of fear. Nothing compared to later psychedelic experiences, but glad it happened when it did.
  3. Got a lot of value from the MBTI personality test. Reading about infj, i felt really understood for the first time ever! Made me feel less lonely.
  4. I went to an organised retreat with serious shamans. Best setting I could possibly imagine. Would definitely not have gotten the same result from doing it solo. Expensive though. If you have access to 5meo at home, I would start very very very small. I have only vaporized bufo and cannot speak for plugging/snorting.
  5. Like Leo said earlier, this desire for total emotional control is rooted in ego. You can de-tatch yourself from these emotions and observe them instead of letting them run your life, yes. I suppose monks with 20 years of meditative practice have more "control" over their emotions like you want. But you're probably better off accepting and feeling into your emotions more Feelings are great, be grateful for them haha
  6. When someone asks you where you found god ?
  7. @PlayOnWords i had amazing results using 5-meo to heal trauma and uncover subconscious patterns of behavior. Same for mushrooms
  8. I had the same worry, maybe she will and maybe she won't, i dont know your situation. Is she firmly apposed to psychs in general? Let her know how important it is for you. Maybe talk it out and express your concerns and she can do the same? Correct some stigma if necessary
  9. I saved for almost a year to go to a 5-meo-dmt retreat. Best money i ever spent.
  10. Reflecting on leo's video about human knowledge always only spanning roughly three generations: We only know it's 2019 because our parents told us so. And they only know because their parents told them. I started to wonder where the initial counting of years and time started. I had heard previously that our western calendar had gone through several modifications because of lag. So i decided to check out the different calendars and boy is there a lot. But what's so frightening about there being different calendars? Well, doing this work is questioning our pre-existing ground that we stand on to understand reality, right? And realising that different calendars count years differently, and therefore years being relative and that there is nothing special about the number 2019. It sure does chip away at the solidity of reality. We're not in year 2019, that's a projection. There cannot be years. So where in the "timeline" does that leave us? WHEN are we? I am not sure. But from what psychedelics have shown me, and of course all the theory, there is nothing but the present. It's just really hard to grasp and swallow fully. The illusion of time and timeline is a stubborn one. Here is the link to different calendar years: It's like I'm floating between time. Not knowing when i am. And boy does it feel weird and weirdly good. It feels true also. The groundless ground of time. By extension this means age (in years, or measured) is also relative. I (ego) am not absolutely 20 years old. This is the first time i have properly contemplated and researched something simple like calendar years and really discovered something for myself. Please share your thoughts on this
  11. Thanks for the heads up!
  12. I'm not always that good at presenting my views properly. I recently watched a few videos on the infj personality type and it seems like a common problem. Thanks for your input ❤️
  13. I have noticed this many times since my breakthrough dose of 5-Meo in january, but Leo's blog post put my attention on it once more: I really struggle to remember what life was like before this trip. (Before i started tripping especially) It's hard to get in touch with what my consciousness was like back then. Which is the level of most of my culture at the moment. I don't want to around and take for granted that people are at my LOC. It causes misunderstandings and disconnection. But remembering what their LOC feels like, is hard. And therefore relating to them is hard. By all means, I'm not super developed. But moving past my friends and relatives relatively quickly. Thoughts?
  14. This is just not the case for me. I care about the things you mention. I do recognize that postponing practices is maybe not the ideal way to go. I take this path seriously. I started with psychedelics early, but not without spiritual experiences in meditation and reading books. As for the last part, it's on point with what i already practice. Did not understand this: "It sounds a bit like the patterns & repetitions return for lack of proper foundation & inspection of the recreation."
  15. My mind jumped to practices like meditation and psychedelics. I mean, those are sort of meant to get you to the 'now' where we already are, so you could say there is no process. On the other hand, the process is becoming more conscious of the now and life.
  16. No, and i don't know what you're reffering to. What am i overlooking? ?
  17. What do you mean? I'm by no means discarding spirituality. I am aware that a pitfall is postponing the inner work forever and never realizing it. Trying to do a lot of things at once. Feeling overwhelmed. Thank you! Sorry for this: don't know how to remove it. I heard you can't?
  18. 19, two weeks away from 20. Started watching leo about 4 years ago. I did a bit of meditation, mushrooms and 5-MeO and decided to fix my basic needs before pulling the trigger on the spiritual stuff. So just basic noticing and letting go like Leo talked about in his recent video. I keep up with Leos content. Hmm, things have changed, but not in the way i initially hoped. I hoped to do toad and the be free of both suffering and seeking and be enlightened. But this is not the case, i really just saw how much work needs to be done and decided to put spirituality on hold, as mentioned previously. I fully 100% died and came back seven times. I saw the creation-machine and recognized it as myself. Now, this recognition came after several trips to the afterlife with absolute no sensations. this creation machine was not a sensory or visual thing, but manifested itself after death. this all "took place" nowhere, so I felt what nowhere is. Space is not fundamental, you can strip space away. Now the difficult part is integrating this back into daily life. And collapsing the duality of both sides of death is still out my understanding. Looking forward to becoming 100% financially independent and being able to devote proper time and money into this project. I do this to the best of my ability. I noticed lately that it's been too much and i feel drained and kinda burnt out. They definetely haven't experienced the same things. Unless they are messing about in some sick Truman show kind of way. Which I am starting to suspect more and more! Because I am everyone haha
  19. No, it's better on the "other side". The problem is that the ego comes back, you come back, after a breakthrough. And the all sorts of neurotic stuff happens. I am guessing I will struggle with this half-pregnant state of spirituality until i go all the way. Blur is a good word for this.
  20. Thank you everyone! I don't find less spiritually developed people easier to get along with, quite the opposite really. As for me "sizing people up", i think i worded myself poorly. My point is that it is harder to relate to people who haven't done any of this work, because i forget how that state is like. Much like the what the last comment here points out. Thanks ?
  21. Have only done the toad version, but the facilitators i was with said the synthetic lacks a sort of 'nature' feeling to it. Not really sure what they meant, but synthetic seems like the way to go. If you could strip away the visuals and body load on toad, that would be beneficial for consciousness work. That said, toad 5-meo is better than no 5-meo ;-)
  22. My visual field has changed quite a bit since i started doing psychedelics. Especially how close objects come into focus. And just like you, if i stare at something for a while it stops behaving like a material fixed object. Just like on shrooms.
  23. Sober/high and tripping/not tripping is an arbitrary distinction, no? This "sober" state is just another type of hallucination, like the rest.
  24. Jesus christ this is no fucking joke. Listening to your video about what is reality with my eyes closed i imagine or visualize what you're saying or whatever. And you talk about the psychedelicwhich makes you forgetthat you took it. And i imagine myself in a room talking to someone, and then you say "nono you are imagining ME" and i start shaking a bit and get very very scared. I listen on and start to look at my hands. And at one point, my left hand dissapeared while i was looking at it. It's pretty dark in my room and my hand blended in with my wall. Poof. Gone. If i move my eyes it comes back. And when i tried to poke the void in its place, it popps up right before my other hand can go through. I kept looking in my hand and the grey colour disapeared and a non-viewable black hole appeared and i kept trying to look at it. It grew larger and larger, my hand duplicated and more weird shit and cant remember. I'm so scared. I AM GOD. I CREATE EVERYTHING AS I PLEASE. If i dont like my hand it goes poof. I have done 5-meo and would not have this experience without it as it depersonalized me from my hands (help from mushrooms too) and so they are disposable. Anyway I'm gonna re-evaluate my entire life, AGAIN. Jesus christ... I made my hand dissapear. I could feel cold in its place. Like taking your hand and reaching into direct experience and having it on the other side. At that point there is no hand, and i have wondered what that would feel like. Now i know, cold. Which is created by my mind and reaction to suddenly having no hand. Which i also imagine!! Anyway, thought i would share. This is serious. Not a troll post. Real. What does this mean for my life?