Beans

Everyone is quite literally all across the world. Different cultures are valid isn’t it? I mean this is a form about spirituality. I’d assume you wouldn’t just jump to conclusions. English isnt the only language on this big blue planet.

Happy Suicide Prevention Month I love you thank you for being here with me

all the more to you if you enjoy it as is! can’t wait for you to drop more soon keep us posted broski!

just to be clear. people don’t commit suicide as an attempt to be acknowledged. it’s also not to avoid pain. it is about ending the misery. suicide is not a foolish act. it’s complicated. people have their own reasons for doing things. and if it doesn’t make sense consider yourself absolutely blessed to never have been in the misfortune to the point where you complicate taking your own life. in a world consumed by violence, anger and chaos. I think it’s counterproductive to criticize what some may not and don’t understand. life is already difficult. no shade or hate. just a little irritated. About this misconception. suicide has never been about attention seeking behavior. it is about ending pain and misery.

As someone who was struggling. reading this did something. In a world where people don’t understand. I truly feel like people such as yourself with this perspective is actually beneficial, fruitful and meaningful. you quite literally hit the bullseye. Thank you for sharing this. While clouded with my thoughts of depression and anxiety, your comment and perspective gave me clarity I needed. Instead of hindering me. I think a lot of the time people see it as a selfish, and weak action. for me personally. I don’t see it like that at all. That goes to say I don’t glorify it as well. I just see it as an act of drowning. Some people freeze, some people criticize, some people die. And some people act. which I feel you’ve done with this fruitful perspective. so thank you, for sharing.

I’ve always dreamed of living in the country side. somewhere with a lot of land so that way I can have countless of pets without having to worry I won’t have room for them. My house on the other hand I can see it as a cottage house. Maybe two or three rooms. Preferably three rooms and then an office room for me to hide away in. So perhaps four rooms? My nana always had her washer and dryer in a separate house. Kind of like a shed but not a shed in Mexican standard. I’m just not completely sure on what they would call it. I’m a sabo kid. For those not understanding what sabo kid means. It means being of Spanish descent and not knowing much or very little Spanish. My grandma (Nana) had three rooms. When I would come over I’d sleep in the spare room. Whenever I would come over she’d immediately take me a shower and wash my clothes. I’m guessing it’s because my mother didn’t do a good job at taking care of me. So I always use to wear these big tshirts like a dress. It was always nice. Laying in bed and watching a movie after my showers. I don’t need my living room to be huge personally. I think my biggest goal would to make it cozy. After my nana would cook for my entire family and themselves we’d all eat together. Later going into the living room to either watch a boxing fight jeopardy or the Lone Ranger. Not even 10-15 minutes would pass and I’d be knocked out. My kitchen I always enjoyed the gas stoves the most, because it reminds me of my grandmother. And if I ever need a lighter to smoke my blunt I could always use the stove (hehe 🐯) I would love a garden or a green house a nice patio outside to sit and share tea outside. I enjoy a lot of natural lighting i love windows a lot to I think another thing that’s important to be is decoration. I need my home to be filled with things, because if not it feels empty and bare. My nana always had pictures of the family on her walls and other random decorations

I would like for you to know. That when people do these things it has nothing to do with you, but just the great pain they’ve had in their life. And if anything you kept them here longer than they probably originally planned. each time I’ve attempted to take my life a loved one always kept me here longer than I had originally planned. it’s so sweet of you, to be here. it shows how deeply you’ve cared and loved your friend. they were so blessed to have you. Please don’t ever forget they love and care they’ve shown onto you, because I promise you. it was genuine and still is genuine. that love they gave you will never disappear. Try to find it in the smallest of ways. You’ll feel their energy. I promise you. one a warm sunny day you’ll feel so much love. in some shape or form. I promise you.

Yes.

As someone who was/is suicidal. i struggled with the understanding of why I must suffer so much. And why my siblings and I must go through so much unspeakable pain. I still struggle with finding a will to live. Part of me says I’m a failure, but the other part of me wants to live. it is a constant battle between the two. One of self destruction. And you would think from someone who’s survived through so much trauma I wouldn’t crave instability. Though somewhere deep inside me. I suppose I do. Even though my conscious self tells me “that’s insane and stupid why would someone ever do that?” Theres the subconscious. “It hurts… this is what you deserve.” “you are nothing and you always have been nothing” ”you are better off dead” ”you serve no purpose” Craving violence and destruction. as a child I was never like this. I was probably the happiest, sweetest kid you could ever meet. I was the happiest with my grandfather. And not a day goes that I don’t think of him. Not even my biological father, but someone who raised me as if he was. he didn’t even say much, but you could tell in his own little ways that he cared. and he himself suffered in so much silence. becoming sick with stage four cancer. He refused treatment and still continued smoking his cigarettes. when he passed even the smell of the cigarette would trigger me breaking into a million pieces. the first time I smoked those cigarettes myself my body trembled and began shaking violently. when I began smoking I didn’t really care for my life either. The shaking felt as if my grandfather was shaking me. Felt as if he was upset with me. Trying to shake me free from this sick twisted product. Every blue moon I’ll have a cigarette but every time I do. I know he’s scolding me. I cannot help it tata (my grandpa) please forgive me. I still feel like a failure. I still feel trapped. i still feel confused. To answer your question i was born without the fear of the dark ive never been afraid of death and still till this day I’m not afraid dying to me feels like the easiest option. In this Ive romanticize that in death I’ll be reunited with my loved ones. whom actually love me. I’ve welcome death with open arms. And ask for her to be gentle with my soul. To give me directions on where I can find my real home again. (https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=L0zed4pqLFk&si=JMi0XObB8g5T33Rd)

I actually really enjoyed both of them. except the beginning intro to the second one felt like the vibe wasn’t consistent. As you get deeper into love affair it becomes steady flow and a fun groovy beat. it’s super cool to be the first ones to hear it. We (joy and I) can’t wait to hear more :)) i can def see this song in a club, concert, and even rave. :3 keep up the good work

I believe. In my own experiences. That whoever you may believe in. Regardless of it being a “God” or Religion. That our spirits are a collective thing that forms this “God” I personally do not believe into a “God” or Religion. I believe in spirituality. And collectivism. I listen to my body, heart and soul. And In that I walk into the directions it takes me. And I have found that as I continue to do so. I’m always where I should be at the “perfect” timing. Even if I am late. (which rarely happens, but everything happens for a reason) I have found. That tuning into who I was, and who I am, today. Are two completely different aspects of my soul. I am anger, and love. I am divine, and scary. And a lot of people don’t like that. Neither do they understand the shape shifting forms, that divine transformation can give you. In my lifetime I will be a chameleon, because my soul is infinite. I believe even in Death. Our spirits and souls connect to us. Just in different ways. for an example. When I experienced the loss of a loved one. They came to me in butterflies. What a beautiful offering. It is now my duty, to offer safety, comfort, and love to butterflies. Not because God told me so, but because of how powerful love. And spirituality is.

@Leo Gura I don’t appreciate this kind of. Unfruitful and Toxic Behavior. I assumed this form was about spirituality? And didn’t honor low iq standards.