Beans

Interesting thank you!

I say to feel everything authentically which might sound like a punch to the gut but grief is often times ls just love knocking the door as a memory. don’t hesitate to reach out you are loved wishing your friend peace

Sorry if this is a personal question if you feel uncomfortable with me asking this question but what was Russia’s whole problem with Syria and why is Russia attacking Ukraine now? I’ve heard a lot of discussion about it. And now that North Korea has sent troops to Russia what are your thoughts about what’s happening ?

beans is feeling disengaged no joy •^• hi joy Joy is all around :3 I felt disengaged when my original idea for my comment was being thrown off I just felt like I couldn’t focus on what I wanted to say, but instead all I could focus was on what joy was saying. I felt a bit frustrated, but I didn’t feel comfortable with getting angry with joy. Filipino and Mexican “nice mix” Joy talking to the water mechanic man :)) hehehehhehee joys Filipino and I’m Mexican mwhahahahahhahahaha :)) I was reluctant to tell joy I didn’t wanna write that and was worried they’d be mad with me :DD bye chat

My dad was this kind of person I do not suggest drinking alcohol for social anxiety it’s quite literally adding gasoline to your current fire alcoholism will kill you

Is life worth living is a very broad question I think everyone has to answer that question by themselves though to me it just sounds like you don’t really know what brings you happiness I kinda get what brings me happiness, but before then I was very sad and depressed it’s not to say I don’t deal with those emotions anymore, but it helps knowing for instance in a really dark period of my life I was hospitalized because of suicidal ideation/tendencies I ended up making a friend and we played uno I’ve been obsessed with it since and find it a source of comfort and it genuinely makes me happy I had a pretty good winning streak until joy @Yimpabegan playing the game as well :)) joy is telling me about emojis I can add on lol shh please don’t buy into the false idea that everyone has it together, because we don’t and I find comfort that I’m going through hardship with others (shout out to my editor @Yimpa) yes it sucks, but hey at least I have a clutch my honest advice is find more laughter, look at free events, and comedy clubs and if you can make a friend or even acquaintance good on you don’t expect perfection just work on progression another little quote I’ve found that has brought me comfort is rejection is just redirection good luck we’re rooting for you

Yeah fuck capitalism 😎💪‼️🫂

https://music.apple.com/us/album/watermelon/1626311587?i=1626311588

I can’t force you to stay so I won’t, but I’m going to miss you. And I’m sorry for things not working out. and I hope you find happiness. https://music.apple.com/us/album/two-birds/317333978?i=317333996

I want to figure things out, because I do love you. I do care about you, but this is hard on me too. I don’t want our relationship to end, because I enjoy being around you and being with you. You’ve always been here for me while I’m going through some of the worse things I could be going through in my life. It’s just hard joy. I can only imagine how it is to live internally with ocd, but it’s also difficult trying to navigate that, with your eczema and I wish it was simpler, I wish things weren’t this difficult. OCD sucks, miss communications suck, these arguments suck. It hurts hearing you calling me a bitch, it hurts when we argue and you tell me to leave, it sucks being forced to be open about my gender identity, it sucks being worried about what I could potentially say that’ll cause a big argument. Which is why I say it felt that I have to walk on egg shells. And I really am sorry for being so pushy. You know even when your dermatologist set your appointment a week from now a HUGE part of me wanted to continue to push you for a sooner date, because of how much you are suffering from eczema. I know you want to feel what you’re feeling authentically and fully, but I can’t help but want to jump up when I see you bleeding, or going through a bad episode. I’m so proud of you for getting onto depiction, but for me watching you going through this. It’s like a nightmare. I want it to end, because I know what it feels like. I know how heavy that constant pain is. And I am sorry for putting more salt into the food. Especially with you being concerned and completely not comfortable with that. I really didn’t understand just how heavy salt impacts us or how it could potentially influenced eczema. When it comes to cooking my grandmother never really paid attention to that and so naturally neither do I. The only time I ever paid attention to it was in high school in the prime of my eating disorder, but even then when I tried the fideo and the pasta wasn’t the ready and taste wasn’t what expected to be I felt anxiety. And immediately just acted in a way to “fix” it. And I am sorry. I genuinely wasn’t thinking. I really often times just have a bad habit of going into autopilot.

YAYYY ADVOCACY ‼️💞‼️💞

Contemplate on deez nuts

Meow 😻

I think it’s better when we practice mindfulness and removing judgment from our minds. my personal life was filled with judgments didn’t matter what I did I was never “perfect” enough to keep people satisfied or happy. We all need to accept our journeys and learn to accept when we need to recalculate no matter how hard or embarrassing it may be. no one is a failure for continuing to try for better

I don’t agree, because life will try to find each and every way to show to you. Also it’s evident. Your heart beats, your lungs, basically every human function. Just as how nature is alive. Regardless of it being grass, water, fire, wind, etc. We are alive. Regardless if we acknowledge it or not.

War. Often times means profit off the poor. It’s their dead sons and daughters fighting a fight for land. And their motives. On each side. I wish it would end. Not to mention the side effect of the constant dropping of bombs furthering climate change. Imagine living on this big blue planet and thinking you have more of a right to live on it than others. Selfishness is a disease.

Watch their actions. people can say they choose you, but ultimately words fail. And their motives are shown through actions. It’s also important to learn about their true nature before hand, and to understand how it makes them who they are. Showing up for you unexpectedly is a good sign. It’s not mandatory, but someone who loves you would. Consideration is key.

Love is a feeling of mutual understanding it’s not all bound to ego or how good they make you feel. To love someone is to say “okay” to challenges you normally wouldn’t. It also doesn’t necessarily mean you have to accept them either. That’s more of each partner’s choice. The difference is you are actively choosing, communicating, and rotating the table. You grow together. I think it’s important to see if the room is fruitful before baring any fruit. Meaning it’s important to look at the location before planting a tree. So these are questions that are necessary to ask, but ultimately no one is perfect. And I think personally people are usually stuck on this whole idealism of a “perfect man” or a “perfect woman” that’s not love. It’s a superficial idea of what it is. Shit happens, constantly. Regardless of it being due to your own fault, or the universe causing something out of the blue happening. Sometimes someone will come to help you, majority of the time you are left on your own. So it’s important choosing someone who would choose you, even in an unfavorable situation.

I don't understand how it equates to/with cheating

It’s such a complicated journey It’s so difficult and confusing i wish I could do things differently in some form so that way I can keep Penny and all I can think of is “if I was able to finish college I’d be able to find a stable income and be able to provide for myself and Penny” And it sucks, because i feel torn between wanting to leave my abusive home and then struggling because if I do. Ultimately that means I lose her. And at the same time I don’t want her to have this life. It’s been difficult for herself too. I’ve had Penny since high school. And she’s been my rock. More than just a dog. She is my best friend. The only thing is I couldn’t even receive any sort of funding because of my situation at home. It wasn’t until I finally left that I was able to receive financial aid. Even while at the shelter I felt so guilty and heartbroken for her to be stuck in a kennel. I can’t stand the thought of her being stuck in an adoption center stuck in one. And the thought comes into my mind is what if she’s stuck there for a really long time? And develops worse separation anxiety. I wish I could make painless choices, but I’m beginning to realize that’s almost impossible. I want to find a better solution if it’s possible. I want her to have a good life, better than before. I’m hoping therapy can give me clarity on the right decision and direction for both Penny whom I care about deeply. And myself.

I can’t help but cry when I look back at our memories together. And I’m not crying out of pain, but just in awe of love. I don’t think I could’ve ever predicted my life to have shaped the way it has. And I don’t think I could’ve ever predicted meeting you. And so it makes me cry thinking about how much love I’ve received while looking back on our memories together. And it has nothing to do with the events, but everything to do with the experience of going through it with you. And they’ve been really beautiful experiences. Even the difficult ones. And the not so perfect ones. It feels so comforting knowing I have someone to go through the mess of my life with. And to do the same for you is an honor and privilege that I hold very dearly. so yes I cry when I think about how much I love you. thanks for being my partner

I am excited for our couple’s therapy. I have been enjoying our new talks. Especially when it’s a fruitful discussion about things we are struggling with. Shout out to your mom for the help and support. <3

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C_CjIFwigJz/?igsh=emt0bTVpZHg2b25y

You were a child. You need to learn to forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made while blinded by ignorance, rage and deep sorrow. If the abused don’t unlearn abuse then you become the abuser. I’ve harmed my twin sister once. and watching her cry broke my heart. Years later she would come to do the same thing to myself i know it’s something we both regret something we can’t really speak about no one is proud of who we were in the past. neither am I saying I was born a saint

Amen 🙏