Key Elements

@Preety_India

Yup, I agree, only because guys choose to be "under the influence" of PUA groups without thinking twice about it. It's a quick-fix solution. I have not seen any PUA for gals that does the same things. (DUI, lol) However, there's more to it, a lot more. It's not non-duality , but it goes down the rabbit hole quite a bit.

@Mikael89 that's not what I said.

Great points. There is something here that's probably been said many times, but I don't really understand why guys (or even gals, maybe...?) put themselves through it, repeatedly. Maybe, they are unaware. This is probably the reason. They have needs, and subconsciously, they just want to get their sexual needs and other needs met. So, desperately, they go on internet groups/chats, looking for the answers. Other guys, "the so-called gurus," who claim that they know the answers, tell them to "try to get laid with 10-20 gals first." Along the way, they ruin gals who are actually looking for real relationships. Then, they spend a whole lot of time on this being stuck and seeing life pass by them. And, I'm not even talking about narcissists. Why does this happen? Because healthy bonds have healthy boundaries. Telling a guy to get laid first with 10-20 gals isn't a boundary. There are no boundaries here. See? Almost no one talks about healthy boundaries. If a healthy boundary is even heard, it's passed off as "traditional" or "1950s era" or "archaic" or something along those lines, or even worse "slum dweller."

@Preety_India nice. I can't keep mine very well. Children keep doing this to it:

@Preety_India I know that you're going through a lot right now. And, you're doing great! Keep up the great work. I'm just saying this for, perhaps, the near future. I just want to say that you may want to look at this from at least two sides. Becoming a NRI through the help of your friends and family is probably not the same as becoming a NRI by yourself. I just want you to think about this in baby steps first. Networking in Hyderabad is probably not the same as networking in CA, U.S. If you want to come to the U.S. next year, you may stay for a while, right? You may want to have the opportunity to network in India first in your area. India is rapidly changing. If you network there first, and then come to the U.S. to network, and then go back to network, you will see and can compare the changes. I think if you do this, it's a priceless lesson.

@Preety_India the thing with dating and intimate relationships is, in the beginning, ppl usually put their best foot forward. See, the couple go on dates in nice restaurants. They are well dressed when this happens. They pick the best places to hang out. They give each other gifts. This continues for a while. Maybe it continues for a long stretch of time. The true colours are suppressed. If you dive into an intimate relationship on the surface level, there is a chance that it may not work. Actually knowing the other person authentically is complex. However, the first step is to be authentic. This is the problem. See, not showing the "flaws" in general is a good thing. If you do, you could get judged in the wrong ways. I gave an example toward the beginning of the thread.

Awesome! ?❤️?❤️?❤️?❤️? Now... ???????

Oh no...I understand... In moments like these, I find inspirations like these to be helpful: Please take care of yourself. Reality is really not what we think it is. This whole movie that we're in, and the way it's being played out, it's not really what it seems to be.

If you behave like them, what's the difference between you and them?

When the ego goes, you suddenly awaken; then, you tell the tale. ___________ No one understands. For words are always stories. No one can relate.

?????I'm too sexy for my body!?????And then, you don't have a body anymore.

@Natasha ppl don't really know what's the meaning of "hot" when they are referring to a hot guy or a hot gal. Enlightenment is definitely the hottest. I can't even give it a 9/10. It's a 10/10, a perfect 10! The God! Without an ego, you're the sexiest.

@Natasha lol, cute guy, the rock. But see, when you're one with everything, you're not anything, not embodied, nothing, and this makes you "look" and "feel" even cuter! Then, when you transform back to your ego, you look more like this: And, it's wayyy cuter than looking like an alpha male.

@Preety_India I just want to let you know that you could start your networking and entrepreneurship journey now. What I mean is, approach this in a therapeutic way. Breathe and enjoy the scenery as you go along. Yes, it can be a fun healing process if you look at it this way. This can help you to take your mind off of him. There's a saying, "There are bigger fishes to fry in this life (than a relationship)." This is it. This has been one of the most memorable times in my life when I was in Hyderabad. It was opposite of GVK-1 mall there. I was sitting in a cafe. This cafe was actually a donated house from a philanthropist that was converted into a cafe. Oh yes, it's better than the Starbucks in GVK-1. They served homemade dishes, and best of all, their tasty samosas were only 5 rs/samosa. They were the best I've ever tasted. Free entrepreneur networking events took place there in the big backyard. You could sit down and listen to free speeches given by established business owners and founders (VCs & Angels) there. Great guidance. Great learning curve. Great experience. You meet new ppl there. If you live in a major city, they probably have events like this. If you want to further prepare for an event like this, think of what you want to do in your life. Be ready with business cards. I referred you to a link in this thread which goes into further details. Or, you could do it lightly at first. It's just like taking a break in life, "don't forget to stop by and smell the roses." Look around and stop by a cafe. Attend a networking event casually to see what they are about. Look at pitches (speeches).

@Preety_India yeah, cool! Yeah, I'm talking about *you* becoming an NRI and exploring things that other NRIs didn't explore, such as networking and entrepreneurship in other countries. To me, these are stepping stones before non-duality. You know, there's a saying, "you won the battle but didn't win the war."

@Preety_India I was just wondering if you've ever thought of it this way before. Have you considered becoming a NRI and getting to know NRIs gradually? From what I know, there is a difference between being local and being NRI, and of course, it goes beyond that. I noticed that even life experiences cannot be passed on through words. (I mean, we're not even talking about non-duality here. ) The individual has to experience it herself and eventually embody it.

I just want to share something here because this topic reminds me of some ppl in my past that I used to hang out with. I thought they were nice and friendly, and I thought they were good friends. But, one day, by mistake, I told them that I was moving to Country B. They called me all kinds of funny names including "Slum Dweller," for a whole month because by mistake, I told them a month early before I moved. I tried to explain that nothing bad was going to happen to me, and I've been there many times before, but they thought that I was only glorifying the place. In the end, I blocked them off of all social media. The point of why I said this is because, to me, I think that sometimes we get into relationships too quickly without knowing them very well. I'm not just talking about friendships; I'm also talking about intimate relationships. I want to say to just be friends for a while and not rush into a relationship. Don't let the other person pressure you into a relationship. It's worth the wait, for both friendships and intimate relationships. Maybe just be good acquaintances and ask them questions and communicate with them to understand them better. It's better to be single than get into the wrong relationships. Let their true colors show first. Let your true colors show first. Learn to be authentic, and learn to understand them authentically.

Sorry to hear this. I would just detach from him. Do my own thing and work on my life purpose. I would give it maybe a week without contacting him and see how he responds during that week. If he is obsessed and pissed, I would not respond with much. I would just say something like, "I'm busy. I don't have time to talk like that." The two of you don't live together, right? If not, this makes it easier. If this misunderstanding persists, you may want to eventually let him go.

@Elisabeth most ppl will not even bother with SD if you explain it to them. A lot of ppl are orange. So, for example, if you conduct a scientific experiment of their topic in science, they will understand. If you go above that, like how can science help the environment, they may lose interest. Maybe their goal in life at the moment is just to get a career at Genentech and possibly win a Nobel Peace Prize in science. You may want to try to find a way to reach out by finding a way to let science help the environment, for example. Or, you could do both--healthy orange (majority), healthy green (minority), and the percentages go lower in tier 2.

Let's say you wanted to incorporate your career, entrepreneurship, and non-duality in your life purpose. (You know that it is possible to do this, right?) And, you're a teacher by profession. If someone asks you, "what do you do for a living?" You don't have to say, "I'm planning to become an entrepreneur," and explain the full details. This will sound woo-woo for most ppl. Just say that you're planning to become a teacher. Let them respond first. If they ask you further questions, just say that you might do it online, and wait to see their reactions. Don't reveal everything at once.