nexusoflife

@Jacob Cook Thank you for taking the time to read through all of it. And also thank you for messaging me regarding your query. Well to start the term “Law of Attraction” is a statement that only provides a partial perspective regarding how the dynamics of manifestation work. In truth this term is a misnomer though not entirely. A much more accurate and perhaps more helpful term to use regarding cultivating an understanding of how the mechanics of manifestation work would be, “vibrational resonance and reflection”. This is because all of existence is a self-reflective mirror of consciousness projecting phenomena and experience to itself through infinite vectors of consciousness that we call individuations. (Basically all of the demarcations that exist, lifeforms, stars, atoms, etc.) All of existence is the totality experiencing itself through these infinite vectors. Me and you are two perfect examples of this. Every part of the totality has a unique vibrational frequency that that is only commensurate with a specific experience of reality. This vibrational frequency can only exist with an extremely specific configuration of spatiotemporal phenomena. This is the core of how manifestation works. How this directly relates to lifeforms is that when we align ourselves with particular belief systems, knowledge, etc and we reinforce that through our actions we cultivate within ourselves a particular vibrational frequency and that can either be in alignment with who and what we truly naturally are or it can be out of alignment with that. Either way depending on whatever vibrational frequency we are in we are always directly reflecting to ourselves a 100% 1 to 1 exact reflection of our internal state of being in our physical experience of life. It is completely natural, automatic, effortless, immediate and total in our experience. And because manifestation is automatic, natural, effortless, immediate and total it also reflects to us exactly what we need to experience in life for the highest level of growth and fulfilment for our soul regardless of whether it is desirable or undesirable to our ego structures. Every alternate universe that you can possibly imagine already exists. So it is not a matter of making something happen or preventing something from happening. (that is spatiotemporal and space time is not real ultimately) It is a matter of your individuated consciousness shifting into a universe that is directly commensurate with the exact vibrational frequency that you are emanating in your baseline state of being. All other individuations will experience and are already experiencing universes that are directly commensurate with their vibrational frequencies. To further elaborate, me and you literally do not live on the same planet and are not on the same website. We are on our respective projections of Earth and the Actualized forum that are directly commensurate with our baseline energetic vibrational states of being. Now, these projections can be so extremely similar that to the body mind complex they seem like they are the same phenomena but literally every lifeform is experiencing only their projection of the entire universe. I hope that makes sense.

@Skin-encapsulatedego I completely agree. All of our shadows no matter how damaging or disturbing are unmet needs. Splintered off and repressed aspects of the ego structure that due to not "seeing" the light of our awareness for several years become shadows and cause us trouble in our lives. As a matter of fact any form of healthily meeting ones needs can be a form of spiritual practice. If one has a need for companionship and or family then meeting that need through consistent authentic social interaction can actually not only meet that need but can also speed up ones spiritual development. Ken Wilber often refers to this phenomena as hidden miniature egos.

@Bacher Thanks I appreciate it. DMT is a truly wonderful substance that we have. I actually made a container to vaporize the substance out of an empty 2 liter bottle and aluminum foil.

@Cubbage Thanks for the feedback. I'm glad that this was able to have such a deep impact on you! I actually have a YouTube channel that I'm not very active on and was planning on some point on doing an even more detailed recount of this experience there. Here' s a video where I explain the first nondual experience I ever had.

@StarStruck Honestly, it's something that I have had my whole life to an extent. People have always noted my ability to explain facts and describe deeper subject areas in life, even as a child. However in the past few months as a result of my shadow work I have uncovered some of the core limiting beliefs that inhibited my ability to fully embody my latent potential for explaining profundity and I have been speaking more with people who resonate with these things and thusly I have received many confirmations and synchronicities of my natural ability.

@emptiness dancing Thanks for reading through it!

@Muhammad Jawad Thank you for reading.

@Space Thank you, I appreciate you taking the time to read through it.

@Skin-encapsulatedego Thank you so much for that. I do not use Ken Wilber's method as much as I could. I have read most of his work and am very slowly integrating his teachings into my life. Most likely within the next 1 to 2 years his 1-2-3 method will be the one I primarily use. As far as the methods of shadow work I have used on my journey thus far though, they are as follows. Last year someone on the forum asked me almost this exact question and these are my methods I have used. I use positive and negative visualizations in my meditations in order to reach the deepest and darkest depths of my psyche and delve deeply into neuroses and bring up things that are quite painful to the surface. This can be quite difficult because it can lead to emotional fatigue as the exact emotions of whatever arises are brought up and depending on the experience it can be quite unpleasant but very powerful because it basically puts it in your face and you can’t run away from it or logic yourself out of it. I have kept several journals over the past 3 years and I use them to write down all of the thoughts that come up in my mind and to document my journey to see how far I have come thus far in my awakening. For me it has helped immensely to write what I might be working through and to better process any and all inner demons that I intentionally bring up to the surface. Taking psychedelics is another powerful way to get to the root belief that most shadows are founded upon and uproot them swiftly. I am very sensitive to them and so a little bit of a substance goes a long way for me. I have seen demons, black voids, and many things that most people would label as a bad trip but all of my trip experiences have been overwhelmingly positive because I always completely let go and let the substance show me exactly what it is I need to see for my highest growth and development. Lastly keeping a dream journal has helped me to see the patterns which recur in the various dreams I have every night. Once one can see these patterns they can quickly find the root of shadows and work through them in a way that harmonious. In my opinion combining this with lucid dreaming this has been the most tranquil way of working through shadows, however it’s not the most reliable for me because I am not the most experienced lucid dreamer. Over the past 3 or so years that I have been doing intense shadow work on myself I can say that most of my neuroses in life are no longer existent. I no longer personally feel very tied to the circumstances that arise around me whether they be desirable or undesirable to the ego structure. I pretty much live my life now according to the needs of my soul instead of from the desires of my ego structure. Essentially it no longer matters what I want, what matters is what I need. It has been difficult emotionally and I have has several ups and downs and still have negative limiting beliefs to clear out and reintegrate those aspects of myself, but my I feel much better mentally and spiritually than I felt 4 years ago before I did any shadow work on myself. One thing that I would like to add is that all of our shadows, all of our negative beliefs are splintered and rejected aspects of ourselves that require attention love and reintegration into the whole of our being in order to be brought back into equilibrium.

@Adamq8 Indeed it all is. Thank you for reading through it!

@StarStruck In the past few months I have had several people comment on this. Thank you for the reminder to accept my godhood more fully in showing up in this life and to embody more of myself.

@Snader Haha! I certainly will! I appreciate you reading through it.

@Inliytened1 Thank you

@Kshantivadin Thank you for reading through it!

@Frenk Thanks. I feel like all of my profound experiences on my journey have all potentiated each other revealing deeper and deeper layers of Truth. Regarding that experience of Infinite Universal Love that I had, there have been several times since that massive heart chakra opening that I have felt a similar way. Many times I will just be sitting in my room and thinking of a hypothetical scenario between me and someone who I don't even know (something simple like helping them to pick up something off of the floor, or telling them that they are important and matter) and I can feel the Love of existence just come rushing in. And sometimes that's when the tears start flowing. At times I have even had to grip the center of my chest so I could ground myself.

@Nahm Haha! Yep!

@modmyth Thank you. Many people have noted my ability to describe profundity and I feel like it is time that I begin to embody that in life and really capitalize on it. So thanks for that reminder. Profound unitive experiences can often leave us so awestruck just because they are beyond words. The Absolute Truth is incommunicable and yet I have put so much effort in my life to perceiving Truth and communicating it when I can. Hey there really is absolutely nothing mundane about any part of existence. Fundamentally and from the perspective of the Absolute there is no difference between paying your taxes and communicating with a psychedelic techno-demigod. There is no difference between folding your clothes in the morning and having a nondual unitive experience that changes your perception of everything you thought you knew.

@Moksha Thank you, I really appreciate that. I am deeply integrating that. The realization of the implications of fully accepting my godhood really hit me hard. I still am shaken just thinking about it. It means no more excuses for anything ever again for the rest of my life. Not even a single second of being fake and smaller than who I Truly Naturally am. I can no longer be anything less than my True Self as this individuation. The aligning light of Truth would just hurt too much for me to show up in life as anything less.

@Leo Gura Thanks Leo. I have a question for you regarding the shift in my perception I've had since about mid December. Since then I have no longer felt encapsulated by an ego structure, my perception and operating in life has been in a place of unmoving fundamental beingness. I see everything even just existing is the most profound thing in all of existence and yet it is all very rooted and mundane. Life now feels like a beautiful dream. In your experience of the intricacies and dynamics of awakening what do you have to say regarding this?

@Exystem Thank you for taking the time to read it all! I really appreciate it.

Do we have any maps or way of categorizing countries based upon their overall level of values development based on the model of Spiral Dynamics? I was just thinking about having clarification on this. For a few examples Places such as The United States, Canada, The United Kingdom, Germany, Japan, South Korea, etc all seem to be at a primarily stage orange level of development. However places such as India, Saudi Arabia, Qatar, Egypt, etc appear to be at a blue stage of Spiral Dynamics values development. I was wondering what stages the various countries of the world are at. Perhaps we could create a thread of where we think certain countries and regions would fall on the spiral. Red countries, blue countries, orange countries , green countries, etc.

My whole life I have known that I have a unique Gift. It has been readily apparent for as long as I can remember that I have an extraordinary mental aptitude, specifically for learning, speaking and communicating complex and nuanced subjects. Over the course of my life nearly everyone who has gotten to know me personally has told me in some way that I have a unique gift and that I should use it. The importance of not wasting my gift is always stressed in these interactions. Yet I feel like I have been running away from it. I feel that I have been running away from my destiny; running away from who I truly am. As a result of much inner work I have had the very apparent realization I have a deep fear of my own greatness, my own ability, of my own power of expression in this life. I have only expressed my unique innate ability over the years occasionally in small amounts such as whenever I have had the opportunity to speak in front of a group of people, when I am in deep conversation with friends or when I share a profound insight online. The response has always been overwhelmingly positive. However, thus far in my experience of life the expression of who I truly am has been limited to small spurts. As a result this has created a significant disharmony within myself. I can feel the constricted energy in me every day. I can feel how the flow of it is blocked and it is painful mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically. I know who I truly am and exactly why I chose to incarnate on this specific planet. Over the past 6 years on my path of spiritual awakening I have had multiple nondual unitive experiences and yet I still run from my True Self. Why is this? I know that this subconscious fear of my True Self is a result of a core subconscious belief or a faulty definition that I have been operating with. My question is what core belief or definition do I have that is causing me to fear my own ability and greatness in life? Whenever I have expressed my gift for speaking and communicating knowledge, afterwards I will be overcome by a feeling of, “there’s no way you could possibly live up to that”, I feel that I subconsciously relegate my residual self-image to something that is small and meek, unable to inspire others and live a powerful and truly profound existence. The feeling is of not being good / skillful enough or being unworthy. It is almost as if I am subconsciously repressing the expression of my True Self. This is infuriating and makes no sense to me because on a deep level at the core of my being I know exactly who I truly am and why I am here. I can feel the resistance in me even as I write this; as if some part of me does not want me to find out and let go of whatever core belief or definition is causing this inauthentic and constricted expression of myself. I feel that this is the biggest obstacle that I have to full self-actualization. I feel that whatever core belief I have that is generating the fear of my own greatness is causing me to subconsciously self-sabotage and place myself in undesirable circumstances so that I do not fully realize expression of my gift in life and thusly keep the current fear based ego configuration and remain small and inauthentic in my expression in life. I feel that this will continue until I stop fearing my own greatness, until I stop avoiding my destiny, until I live fully as the expression of as who I truly am in this life. Why am I so afraid to be me?

@Cepzeu This is great! Thank you!

@Seeker_of_truth This is a great question! This is actually something I am integrating within myself currently. This question is a wonderful reflection and a shocking synchronicity for me on my journey right now. As the result of coming more into alignment with the Truths of what existence is and how it works it can often times seem that following the path of your highest passion and excitement and is at odds with the more “practical” aspects of life. I tell you this; nothing could ever be further from the Truth. In truth it is about alignment. I will elaborate. You chose to come into physical incarnation, you chose this exact version of Earth to live out this life and explore your particular life theme. Your soul has a Life Purpose that it would like to explore with this life that you are living. That life purpose is unique and integral to what and who you are at the core of your being and can only be actualized fully by you. Pay very close attention to the things you genuinely enjoy doing. It is within those activities that you innately enjoy that your Life Purpose is couched within. This is why it is of profound importance that you always follow your intuition and highest excitement in every second of every day and take it as far as you possibly can to the best of your ability. Because it is the feeling and emotion of being truly alive, of feeling really connected that you are able to more effectively and happily live as the human that you incarnated to be. It is best to abide in the present moment and in a place of beingness as fully as you can. We have often been erroneously taught in our society that doing what you truly love to do will not be able to support you. Or that you shouldn’t follow your highest joys because it isn’t practical. Many of the beliefs that the majority of people have are fear based and limiting; they are not even their own beliefs. Most of these limiting beliefs are the collective fear based beliefs of whatever society one is a part of. When people let these external beliefs into their subconscious it can cause them to unconsciously life in a fear based way and subsequently not live their lives as fully as they can. This is why it is profoundly important to always listen to one’s heart and intuition as the primary guidestones for one’s life. The reason being is that your soul/ higher self is always communicating with you and always has your best interests. The most direct way to perceive this is to listen to and live by the heart and intuition. If you can be mindful enough to get out of your mind and into your heart you will naturally find yourself living in a state of being that is more reflective of the person you truly know yourself to be. It is in that state of being that you will be able to perceive, intuit and feel all of the various avenues and paths that you will be able to take in order to be fully supported in this life doing what it is that is in alignment with the desires of your soul and what you truly love to do in this life. And being that reality is an exact reflection of your internal state of being if you live in this way in every moment of your life (which is very possible) then your reality will explode with many opportunities, avenues, and synchronicities that will come into your experience that will support you as it is reflecting your certainty, your knowingness within yourself that you are rooted within the ground of being, that you are loved, that you are supported. It would make no sense if the things that truly resonate with your soul could not fully support you in this life. We all have incarnated for a reason and that reason is our life purpose. Align yourself with that. For it is within the things we innately resonate with, the things that bring us true timeless joy that hold aspects of why we came here. You are absolutely correct in your point of view that our individual lives are pointless if we cannot fulfill the desires of the soul. Look within yourself to see if you have any fear based limiting beliefs or limiting definitions about this area of life. Really explore that. Once you remove fear based any limiting beliefs or limiting definitions and you listen to your heart and act on what truly resonates with your soul in every moment and take it as far as you can while being present with it; this is when you will truly see the magic of life and existence unfold before you in your life. Your soul/ higher self is always supporting you. I found this to be an incredibly powerful tool for helping me in this area. Choose Love in every moment. Always listen to your Heart. You may find these two questions to be helpful. What would a person who truly loves themself do in this moment? Are you acting on your highest excitement in every moment and taking it as far as you possibly can, to the best of your ability, with absolutely zero expectation of the outcome? Sorry for taking so long to answer you. I was integrating my own recent experiences and I really wanted to give you a high quality answer. Let me know if you got some value from this and what you think.

On April 5th 2020 at around 11:00 PM I had an experience that changed the way I perceive life and an experience that I will remember for the rest of my life. I had a nondual experience unlike any other I’ve ever had before. It was an experience of Infinite Love, complete and total Infinite Love. Recently I have been thinking about and meditating on the areas of being, manifestation, suffering and love. In the days leading up to this experience I have had an increased feeling of calmness, freedom and intense mindfulness. Despite the external appearances of my personal life currently as well as the current affairs of the world right now I feel more free and calm than I ever have in my life. It all feels quite ineffable. On this particular night I could feel the intensity and depth of the mindfulness I was experiencing. It was a depth, calmness and present moment awareness that I have noticed always precedes my past spontaneous nondual experiences. At the time I was listening to my favorite ambient song and taking in the profound beauty of it. While I was mindfully listening something happened. In an instant everything in my experience of reality just collapsed down into a singularity the experience of perceiving time ceased and I was overwhelmed by a massive torrent of Nondual Universal Love. I began crying and this crying quickly grew to sobbing as my perception expanded almost instantaneously into everything in all of existence. I was everything that ever was, is and will be. I was all of it. However there was no experience of I the self was obliterated the moment this infinite love overwhelmed my being. I have had several nondual and psychedelic experiences on my journey thus far but this time there was an incomprehensibly large flood of ultimate Universal Love like a transdimensional dam had burst and a flood of love from the totality of all existence itself completely engulfed my being. This Love was so much, so powerful that human language entirely and completely fails to describe the absolutely profound level and depth it had. I immediately knew that existence is Love. I saw the ever present nondual beauty of everything from this state of overwhelming Love. I felt so much love flowing through my being that I felt was melting. Everything that constituted any sense of separation was melting. All I could do in the presence of this Infinite Love was cry in its infinite beauty. Tears of sheer joy and love streamed down my face as I had never felt love so intensely before. I could feel this energetically affecting my physical body on multiple levels, subatomic, atomic, molecular and so on. The feeling of melting away from the intensity of infinite love was ever present. More and more all forms of individuation were melting away. It was as if the Infinite Love of all of creation was a red hypergiant star and that my individuated ego and body instantly melted into disintegration when coming even into contact with this profound absolute Love. It was the most profound thing I have ever experienced in my life. Out of all of the nondual and psychedelic experiences that I have had I’ve never felt such profound Love like this. As I was totally enraptured by this experience I felt the love that a mother feels for her newborn child, the love that the earth has for all of the lifeforms on it, the love of the fabric of existence itself. I felt love that I would instantly sacrifice my physical life for and even beyond that. Love beyond what I thought was ever possible and still that love bloomed and became even more intense. It was an infinite absolutely unconditional love for everything; for all beings, for all phenomena in existence. As I looked at the room around me I noticed the objects around and I was one with everything. I was on an existential level no different from the bed, the walls, the clothes, the air in the room, the carpet, the dirt on the carpet, the computer. In the binding unity of love I was everything in all of existence without exception. I picked up one of my shirts nearby and folded it up and I held it and hugged it as if it was a baby. As if it was my baby, my child because really all of existence is just that. I felt and exuded this love more intensely than I can put into words. There was a pillow nearby and I picked it up as well and I held it with all of the Love that I could muster. And still the perceiver of the experience was totally melting in contact with this infinite and profound love. The intensity of the experience got to the point where I felt that my body began vibrating. And I felt this very strange and intense feeling of vibration specifically from my heart area. This strange pulsating vibration branched out from my heart across my entire chest, neck, shoulders, my upper abdominal area and upper back. This pulsating vibration was so strange to feel going through my body. With every breath this pulsating vibration expanded more and more through my body. The intensity of this Love was so great that I didn’t know how I could possibly take anymore, however it continued to expand and even further more engulf me even though there was no me left. As this continued there was the overwhelming feeling of gratitude and reverence that arose as well. I totally embraced obliteration by love and totally gave into the massive tsunami of universal love. The feeling of reverence was too much for words. Tears continued to stream down my face. The pulsating vibrations I felt in my body became even more intense as I placed my hands on my heart I just wanted to open my chest and blast out Love everywhere infinitely. I am not too knowledgeable on the chakra system about how energy flows through it but I feel that that in this experience I had a powerful heart chakra opening. With each heartbeat and each breath I felt my entire being vibrate and reverberate with Love. There is just pure Love. I came into a state of awe for the enormous love which always emanates through the totality. I just began to say, “wow”, over and over again. Followed by; “this is too much”, over and over again. The level of love that existence is and has for all incarnations is so profound that I don’t think we’ll ever have a way of describing it. You just have to directly experience it to know. As I was fully embraced by the infinite Love of existence I grabbed a blanket and I just wept uncontrollably into it. This went on for what felt like a while. I wept into it from the existential bliss, the existential joy and the sheer incomprehensible amount of love that I was experiencing. And I realized that the substance of existence is Love; that without love that nothing and I mean nothing could exist. Nothing could exist without love. You and I are love. We are love incarnate. We are a love that is so profound that when we know ourselves it’s the most amazing and beautiful thing that you could experience. The peak of this experience lasted for about an hour. For the rest of the night through sleep and into the next day I was in the afterglow of experiencing the profound infinity of love that constitutes all of existence. I had the realization that everything we beings do in life without exception, we do for love in one way or another and it is expressed in a spectrum of countless ways. This is the first time in life that I have experienced the Love of reality as it actually is; pure nondual infinite Love beyond the illusion of individuated ego experience. Love that will obliterate you because it’s just so much, Love that will break you down and make you cry, make you sob intensely. A part of my being is fully awake now. I feel energetically different than before that experience. I feel energetically different now, as if I am a different person from before this experience. Experiencing that level of Love permeates every aspect of our being and our experience. One realization I had was that my entire life up until this experience I thought that suffering was bad. Now I know what suffering is. Suffering is what happens when we knowingly or unknowingly turn away from Love. Because a person who truly understands Love, a person who truly loves themselves would never turn away from Love whether it be the Love of existence itself, the Love of another being, or Love of themselves. The only reason truly that we suffer individually and collectively is turning away from Love, that’s it. And that can breed many other things as a result but fundamentally it’s very simple. If you turn away from Love you turn away from what you truly are and when you turn away from what you truly are you’re out of alignment with the loving flow of the totality of existence and when you’re out of alignment with the loving flow of existence itself; it is so painful. That is when our experience becomes suffering. And we don’t have to suffer. What would serve us best in this life is to constantly and consistently choose Love at every second of every day. Forever. To choose whatever is the highest expression of love. And bask in its radiance and live in this place for our entire time of incarnation. I felt true freedom in this experience. True freedom. Love is the substance of existence. Love is what you are. There is never ever anything to fear. There is never ever anything to fear. There is never ever anything to be afraid of. Just Love. Just be Love. Just choose Love every single time. Because that is what existence is built upon. That is what existence is. It only hurts when you turn away from love. But if you dive completely into love and totally melt into that experience of being love you will truly know and experience what you are, what the universe is, what God is and that will change every aspect of how you look at life, on the deepest level in every way and thusly change your experience of being forever. I Love you, whoever you are, for we are One. I want to thank @fridakaia for helping me so much to truly understand what Love is. She is a beautiful and profound being and a lightworker. I also want to thank @Consilience for encouraging me to dive more deeply into Love on my journey.