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Everything posted by shree
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It's the 21st century. We have the freedom to identify ourselves however we choose. Thanks. I invested time today in rewriting my LP statement several times more until I came to this: I simplify and improve electronic devices through design, repair, and enhancement, making them more user-friendly. This part: making them more user-friendly. Would be my impact on the world.... I think I can live with this... I am currently engaging in various activities related to my past, including psychedelics, psychotherapy, trauma literature, and a self-love course by Teal Swan.
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Can I also be your mistress?
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Embarking on the pursuit of your life purpose or crafting a career in an area where you perceive no meaningful impact on the world can pose challenges. Waking up in the morning with a complete lack of interest in making a positive difference, without a motivating end goal, can feel disorienting. I find no passion for instigating changes in the world that align with my personal interests. The impact I aspire to create in the world is rooted in countering the negative experiences I faced in my childhood, particularly feelings of abandonment, loneliness, and shame. Essentially, my desire is to contribute the opposite of these emotions to the world. The thought of bestowing upon the world the antidote to these past struggles fills me with a profound sense of love and purpose. I wonder if our beloved master could share his thoughts on this whenever he has a moment to spare. @Leo Gura
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I've observed that my behaviour on psychedelics has been socially acceptable, at least when I'm alone and unseen I haven't encountered anything resembling a near-death experience so far with 14/15 mg Should I expect those things on 20 mg? Wtf
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During my trip with 5MeO DMT, I found myself laughing uncontrollably, even though I didn't understand the joke. It felt as if every particle in the universe was also laughing with me, and I was overcome with a sense of profound gratitude for life's existence. However, at one point, I suddenly became aware of what was happening and felt overwhelmed with fear. I scurried to the nearest corner, trembling with terror.
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That's a really valid point. I appreciate you bringing it up. Let me know if you have any more thoughts on the matter. @Dabidoe Do you agree with my previous statement? Should I focus on doing what I enjoy and am good at, without worrying about having a meaningful impact, and simultaneously work on my mental well-being while remaining open to whatever the future holds? I am interested in developing new skills in the meantime.
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I had 2 breakthroughs an hour ago. It freaked me out, but it was manageable. After the trip, I felt some burning sensation on both of my hands. I checked it out and saw two wounds. I tripped alone and forgot to record myself during the trip, so I don't know if I hurt myself during the comeup. It reminds me of Leo's words when he said that he had some energetic release and his fingertips needed months to heal. Here is the pic It burns like hell, and I am normally not pain-sensitive. I am just interested in what could be the cause because I had no objects around that could cause this to my skin. Any thoughts on this? UPDATE: This is how it looks like the day after. Mirror link.
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I was thinking of sharing on YouTube what I already enjoy the most. However, I am uncertain if it's worth starting something that doesn't have any significant impact that I find remarkable. The impact that I would make does not motivate me. I will think well about this.... I also had this idea, but connecting electronics, bioenergetics, and spiritual development is challenging. I'll keep it in mind.
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When using any e-vape, the device heats up only when the button is held down and cools down as soon as the button is released. The heating element is protected by a metal chamber, making it impossible to get burned.
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I use an e-mesh to vape, and one hit is all it takes to vaporize any amount. It hits hard, but I'm curious about what caused such focused damage on specific spots on my wrists. It would be interesting to observe. In the future, I plan to record a video of every time I trip. I have only one vague memory of myself laughing uncontrollably. I only remember it laughing through me. I don't recall the moment he burned my skin to find his way out but I stay open for all possibilities.
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I don't have a single scratch mark, and both wounds are concentrated in the same spot. Additionally, I tripped on a nice flat wooden floor with no bumps or uneven surfaces. No heat sources. No sharp edges.
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I must admit, that thought also occurred to me, even though it may sound absurd. I consulted my doctor who also said that it looks like my skin got burned. I took precautions to prevent harm during my trip. There was no possibility of this happening. Yes, I will give it time to heal. It's just one side. Do they not accept it as genuine if it's only one side? I guess my dream career as a cult leader is dead It seems improbable that someone would acquire these wounds from a higher power. I believe they may be a form of self-harm intended to gain approval from other members of their religious community.
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I don't find it ridiculous since I have no other explanation. I will investigate further, thank you. @Pudgey shares a similar theory. Those two breakthroughs themselves weren't terrifying, they were my first significant breakthroughs. All the insights flooded my consciousness at once, which was overwhelming for an inexperienced Psychonaut like me.
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It's strange that both wounds are in the same spot, without any scratch marks around them. They appear more like burns from pressing a cigar against the skin. I'm curious to hear what a dermatologist thinks, but I don't have any explanation to offer for how I got these wounds.
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Yes, I trip alone. I plugged 60+ mgs of 5MeO DMT and MALT in the past and had no allergic reactions to it. In general, I don't have allergies that I am aware of. If it did, I hope it had big boobs. I was not conscious 6-7 minutes after vaping it. I don't know what happened at that time since I was too lazy to set up my phone to record myself. I realized that I had a burning sensation on both my hands when I found out that I was sitting in a corner, freaked out. This is what it looks like now.
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Keep in mind that if you have some psychological issues they may be slightly amplified. If this happenes (and also if not ) I highly suggest you to practice self love, feeling your feelings, and being true to your self in general. Microdosing will than make much more sense then. For example in my case, the problem was anger, nasty, uncontrolable bursts of anger. When it comes, i would force myself to sit down, close my eyes (not meditate) and observe my feelings. After doing this a few times I was suprised to discover that behind all that anger was strong feeling of abandoment. Now i work on it.
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Even I cannot vocalize any impact worth mentioning. I am wondering if this is the right thing for me... Its cool when I play with electronics, and the biggest thing I could do is to share it on youtube which is not making any impact because at the end, its all just stupid gadgets...
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Is there some tutorial on how to convert HCI to FB that you can share? I tried it but I lost a lot of chem in the process, and it still did not vaporize, instead, it got burned.
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E mesh vaporizer works great for me. When using 5MeO DMT I inhale for 7 seconds long and I am gone. One hit is more than enough to vaporize high dose of chem. What settings do you use to vape HCI? Do you use some kind of bubbler when doing so? Vapping HCI tastes gross and 30% of chem gets burned when I do it.
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@Lynx Congratulations on your first breakthrough. How many attempts did you have on 5MeO to get the first breakthrough? I did it 4 times in one week and just felt like a train drove over me all 4 times. (During the trip) The last attempt was the first one where I managed to bring something back from the whole experience. Even tho I have no idea what happened, it was very mind-f*cking and yaw dropping for me.
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Reading this while eating my breakfast is priceless.
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I did 3x enema, half hour each. One hour later I plugged 10, 20, 50mg of 5MeO MALT. It still didn't work. Anyway it doesn't hurt to try. Plugging would always be my first choice if it would work for me. After doing enema, start with smaller dose. 5-10mg. Maybe it works for you.
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Are we talking about 5MeO DMT ? I have the same problem. If 30mg plugged did nothing, I would give vaping a try. Start with 5mg.
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Thank you. I will stick to vaping from now on. Has anybody else experienced this on 5MeO MALT? Or is it just me and this guy? What is happening here?