oldhandle

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Everything posted by oldhandle

  1. I'm looking for opinions on what I'm thinking about my life purpose going forward, and the business I'm now envisioning having just finished the life purpose course. So after Leo's course I define my life purpose statement as follows: "To bring people together in a recovery/self-improvement community creating meaningful music and applicable advice content." I myself have recovered from 5 major addictions, I don't want to list specifically what all of them here, but lets just say I had completely crippling, potentially life ending addictions to 5 major things, all of which I have completely rooted out of my life. It took time and struggle, but I did it without traditional "12 steps" meetings and from a secular lens, both of which I think are uncommon, as the default responses when it comes to recovery from behavioral or substance addiction is always "go to a rehab", "go to 12 steps meetings" and "seek god". Therefore I think I have unique insights on this topic and I feel I can share a lot about my traumatic past that led me to develop the addictions and how to help others get there. I'm also a musician, I'm skilled at actually making music, however, I feel a lot of the music I made in the past isn't true to who I am anymore, and a lot of the lyrics in that past music even glorified substances and activities I'm now completely against for the rest of my life. I would like to create a community and provide coaching for people who are struggling with similar issues to what mine were. However, I have no "degree" in this, but I'm not sure how much that matters, Leo doesn't really have a psych degree or anything as far as I know as well. I think what matters most is my personal experience in dealing with these issues. So I'd like to do these tangible things: - Create a community, maybe on Discord or its own forum of individuals trying to specifically work on their addictions - Coach people about these addictions - Create very personal videos about my life and talking about particular subjects related to addiction, some being long form like Leo's (I've always been impressed how long he can talk without relying on "cuts") - Make music that echoes and specifically bolsters the validity of the topics I'm talking about in those long form videos. So my songs going forward might dealing specifically about one topic I faced in addiction, and then there would be a paired "Leo style" long form video discussing that same topic It might sound lofty and like I can't make money doing this, but I think as long as I realize for a while I'll have to do some of this for free before it returns dividends, I can make this a rewarding career in time. What do you guys think? Any advice or pitfalls you see me getting into? Thank you.
  2. My struggle right now is making four hours a day to work on my life purpose, and putting it before over things. Sometimes I have time, but I feel like unless the house is perfectly cleaned, unless I've gone to the gym, studied language (moved to a foreign country and it's necessary) - I cannot start on it. I mean, not to mention I have a full time job teaching, and I am the leader of a social group once a week. In the books Leo recommends after you finish his life purpose course, a few of them talk about the importance of this, time blocking four hours a day to work on your life purpose. I'm finding this really difficult to achieve. I know in theory this is what I need to do to get things going, and not have a mentality of "work on it when everything else is done" but easier said than done I suppose. To complicate matters more, I also have to come to terms with the fact that my body and soul aches to date but I know I don't have the time to create this business and also be dating women - as that is a big time and money expenditure. Anyone been here before? Any advice for me? Sorry if it comes of as a ramble. I know what I want to do, my life purpose is clearly stated. The issue now is creating the habit of working on it, for a substantial amount of time daily, when I have so much else going on.
  3. I'm struggling with this so if anyone doesn't have personal advice, maybe a link, video?
  4. All I can say is I'm 34 and not giving up on my life purpose.
  5. My life purpose is to create a recovery/self-improvement community creating meaningful music and applicable advice content. I KNOW if I go all in on this, I can make it something.
  6. What do you consider your life purpose in a succinct statement like how Leo instructs us to come up with?
  7. Thanks a lot Leo, what do you think specifically about the parts where I talk about making a song on a subject related to my personal addiction struggles (like, detailed topics, such as how I could not talk to women without Alcohol, or how I feared quitting substances because I thought I would lash out and lose friends in the quitting process) and then expanding on those in long form videos?
  8. Thanks, I appreciate this response. What kind of certification are you thinking I should look into? To be clear, I am not really interested in working in treatment centers and being an employee at a place like that, nor being a psychologist.
  9. I've eliminated both of those bro, four years for me for alcohol and I used to be a black out drunk. I actually just made a full thread about how I finished Leo's course and now I want to create a community helping others with those addictions. If you want to chat, let me know.
  10. I need to get over a particular girl in my social group. I was having sex with her and we were moving toward dating, and then she told me that if I were to become her serious boyfriend, I would need to convert to her religion - she is Muslim and I am not, and I have no interest in converting, so it's essentially a deal breaker. She has kept our sexual relationship quiet among all our mutual friends, of which we have many, and so have I - they all think we are just friends, but the truth is we've been together sexually at least 15 times. I'm still so attracted to her whenever I see her at get togethers with my friends and I know she is to me too. I do not want to stop being friends with all our friends, but I also do not want to keep the interest in one another alive by continuing a sexual relationship that can never go anywhere. I want to successfully be "strictly friends". The thing is, the idea of her being with other guys still gets me jealous. I know she hung out with another guy from our group for a while and I felt strong jealousy, despite the fact that we're both single and aren't actually dating one another. I really want to stay friends with her as she's a good person I really care about, but I honestly would have surely wanted to date her if it weren't for this religious incompatibility. I know it's difficult, but I know there must be a way for me to move on, be truly just friends with her without me having to stop associating with her or our friend group. To truly just be friends with her and stop my emotions of still wanting her or being jealous if I imagine her with another guy. I'm looking for advice on how to do so. Thank you.
  11. I have no shortage of chances for women, I don't have oneitis, but there's one I really liked and I fucked up my situation with her by being too honest. She is my neighbor, and I hung out with her 3 times before she went home for the summer. 3 times is not a lot, and we never committed to it being a boyfriend/girlfriend thing at all. However, we did hook up (think sexual things that aren't full on penetrative sex) and kiss quite a lot before she left for the summer. Since we never defined anything, I ended up hooking up with two other girls that summer. Nothing serious, I didn't want to be with either of them, and they didn't want to be with me. But I felt guilty because the girl this topic is about and I kept texting through the summer, and eventually I admitted it to her. She was a bit hurt, but honestly not a lot, and we kept texting and talking every day. She even was sending me lewd stuff unprovoked. I was eagerly awaiting when she returned because I fully expected us to start dating and for it to turn into a real thing with her, which I wanted. We hung out one time when she returned, we did hook up (again not full sex, but hooked up)... and then she texted me that she feels she can't trust me. Suddenly she was mad about the other girls despite not ever making a big deal about it before and being somewhat, at the time, happy that I had admitted it to her. I told her she should at least tell me to my face, then we met face to face, and she essentially said what she said through text face to face, full on broke up with me and said no chance, in a cold way. I was pretty sad. But, I left her alone for about a month, no contact. Then I see she's looking at my whatsapp stories, and I decide to just say hi. She was responsive, but no real conversation really. I didn't push it at all, but gradually we talked a bit more and more, leading up to tonight where she suggested coming over to talk for 30 minutes. I said no because I honestly was busy, but then she said "I'm sorry for how things went between us, I just wanted to be honest with the situation". This recent interaction makes me feel there's soooome chance still. Admittedly, probably a low chance. But I'm wondering how I could play it to potentially get her to see me as someone she could date again, even if it takes playing a long game. I'm pretty much taking a break from sex anyway at the moment so I don't mind if it takes a while to reignite interest, I'm just wondering what I should do to potentially get her to see me again in that light she saw me in before. I know she thinks I violated her trust, despite the fact we were not a couple at that time that I engaged in sex with others, but I'm wondering if there's any way I can play it to potentially get her back. Thanks for reading and for any advice.
  12. Thanks, but there was a lot of jargon in that article, and I don't think really that the article said to be friends and slowly regain trust. It was about talking about sexuality with her. I think that would absolutely chase her away if I start bringing up sex in a "casual" context with her.
  13. I really can't see through that as genuine or not, but i'll stop trying haha
  14. I'm having trouble understanding if you're trolling him for not posting content and being active on the forum instead or if he really does have a lot of new youtube content coming.
  15. Is he done making videos? Been a while since an upload and he's usually active on this forum.
  16. ...right? If I take a true look at myself, I honestly think I have too much that is not organized right in my life to be thinking about dating. I haven't even been able to get through Leo's Life Purpose course yet. So, what do you think, should one date while everything is still not put together, or wait?
  17. Are you saying this pro or against porn? I can't really understand your wording.
  18. They recommend going 90 days without sexuality so that you can reboot your brain, and not as easily fall back into sexual compulsion. It makes sense from a dopamine perspective. However, I am tired of failing, if I have a one night stand before I get to 90 days, great, I didn't jerk off or use porn, but I typically end up faltering and doing that a few days after as the "chaser effect" ends up happening and I crave sexuality. So now I've started dating a girl, and I don't want to wait 90 days to have sex with her, I mean, she just got me off an hour ago at my house (not sex but use your imagination how she did it). My thinking though, is if I actually DATE a girl, I can get rid of porn/nofap this way - my approach was wrong before because I would have one night stands, and then, when the sex wasnt available again, I'd falter and use porn/fap. But if I actually date someone, consistently, which I know, weirdly, is a kind of new concept for me, then I think I can put this type of sexuality that I don't want to do anymore (porn and one player sex) away for good. I am asking here specifically because it's not a nofap/quitting porn forum, so I'm sure people will criticize the nofap ideas, but I want multiple perspectives. Thanks!
  19. Ok, well, even just a week at a time. Not for me. Not necessary to master my sex life.
  20. Thanks, but I don't need to jerk off every day to "master my sex life".