TheGod

It took me 25 years to realize it. I don't think I would have realized it had I not tried 5MeO-DMT. Ultimately this connection seeking is a covered-up need for God & Oneness. The self wants to merge with itself. Society on the other hand feeds this idea of incompleteness from childhood. Also songs, movies, books, social media, almost everything is related to it in one way or another.

There is another reason beyond this - delusional assumption that women will fulfill you with love or will give you meaning in life. Society plays out this idea very well.

You don't know that you are God. You just heard people saying it on this forum so you understanding of what it means to be God isn't accurate. Ego isn't God. Ego wants money and the goodies and the god is... Well, god is so loving it loves it's own suffering and shitty life basically. Infinite love includes love for the most horrible and disgusting shit. You created your shitty life to enjoy its shitiness.

Around 3 weeks ago I decided to go on complete detox. I blocked my bios. I saved the password on my phone and I would keep my phone in the lock box I had bought as well. I started feeling weird the very first day which during next few days would become stronger and I also started feeling cold loneliness. Two weeks after I was on my day off and I decided to go for a walk to the bridge near the place I used to live. When I just set not to far from the bridge, I felt a tremendous fear and anxiety. It was feeling like my entire body was disappearing. I got spooked off and I went to the cannabis store for a vape. I vaped 2 days straight and I started jerking off on porn again. Weed & porn calmed me down a lot. I was able to go to the same place near the river and to meditate there sitting for 20 minutes so weed and porn are obviously my coppes. Then I decided to actually smoke weed once a week and watch porn once every 5 days (I’ve failed to it but it’s okay, I can do it I know). I also started to meditate 2 times a day 20-30 minutes each session. 4 days into meditation and no tv, netflix or any entertainment and no porn and things started coming up. I began to feel the emotions I had been avoiding all this time. It was literally overwhelming. On top of that I realized how shallow human life is (or rather the dark side of it) when I saw my rich boss and his unhappy wife (although they are rich and have 3 kids). I noticed their unhappiness and started to wonder why are they unhappy. It ultimately led to realize that we humans are doomed with unhappiness, thinking if we reach this or that we will become happy. It turned out not to be the case. But also, I think I concentrated too much only on that part which is ultimately isn’t real. Canada post has been postponing my 5MeO-DMT vape and I need it asap. This molecule will help me to go through this period of pain realization, otherwise it’s too difficult. I was crying this morning because I felt so fed up with living during my morning meditation and I also cried on the bus on the way to work and in the evening after doing EMDR. When I was doing it, I got to the point where there was just too much pain. I had had been traumatized so many times in the past and I was denying it. I had experienced neglect, abandonment, humiliation and I was ashamed by and laughed at dozens of times for years. Basically, all my doings are designed to ran away from that feeling by all means: making friends, watching movies, picking up girls, gym, watching porn, pursuing career and thinking. All of the these are designed to keep me away from that feeling of loneliness. And what I realize is that if I hadn’t developed those copping strategies (although dysfunctional) I would’ve been dead already. The image of my perfect gf was designed to give me hope to find my second half to make me feel full and alive and loving. I think a lot of people are trying to ran away or cope with pain (emotional or physical), fear and feeling of loneliness. I went very deep this time and I probably shouldn’t have because I had some thoughts about what is the easiest and painless way to do it or how many people committed suicide on Thanksgiving (turned out not as many people do it in October I asked AI lol). I am going to take it easy, be gentle with myself, loving, accepting and forgiving, there is no rush. I also need to focus on holistic understanding rather than just one side of polarities of life. What about humor, laughs, nature, cute animals and of course big breasted women? I am love at the end of the day (I remember).

Thank you for a good pointer into being. I tried concentrating on it today during meditation, very helpful. I don't boil myself in the past pain and suffering. Once I discover what I had been denying or not seeing I relive it, contemplate it and transcend it. I'm not one of those people who go around and always complain about what they suffered in the past and what people did to them constantly. This post is me telling someone these things for the very first time in my life. So liberating.

More meditation, that's the plan. Thank you buddy! You also stay strong

I feel like I've constructed this answer to scare myself off infinite love as the part of the game I'm playing with myself. It's because I don't want to wake up.

Me realizing that everything else is also me, allowed me to have profound sexual experiences with women. To a degree that she doesn't have to be my gf in the first place, neither do i have to know her name or whatever. I sense her being as myself and that's all i need. I don't care about ego projections where you believe you and your gf have some sort of a special or unique connection. We are all one, so let's fuck!

I was never a human in the first place that's what I realized on 5MeO-DMT. I've always been infinite Love. The thing is can infinite love handle itself as infinite love ? Can infinite love be afraid of infinite love? That is the question.

Thank you for providing me with such a lovely feedback. Sending you love

Can God take it though or it's too much? See, I sometimes get confused because Love scares me and I don't know if it's Ego or God. On the other hand, I crave love when I am 100% but when I do 5MeO-DMT love is sooooo overwhelming that I regret dealing with it in the first place

Even if you do 10 000 trips you won't be able to grasp the full answer because how do you grasp infinity. I've been on 200 trips and the more I trip the more I understand that it's impossible to have a complete understanding because it's infinite. You can go deeper and deeper without ending because there is no end. All I understand is that consciousness pure mystery and love.

I have a question for those of you who are experienced with 5MeO-DMT / 5MeO-MALT psychedelics as well as with long-hours meditation. Have you ever reached God states / Infinite / Love states your reach on 5MeOs but during meditation? Please only answer if you have had direct experience / experiences because i do not want to know about your ideas or believes regarding this topic. Thank u.

After having a breakfast in the morning, I decided to go on a hike with my 5MeO-DMT pen. I chose to hike Tunnel Mounting. Once I hiked it all the way up, to the very top, I set on the rock and got comfy. It was a warn sunny day. “A perfect day for hiking and for a 5-MeO trip “- I thought to myself. I took the vape out of my pocket and did just a few 2 seconds pull, becoming more conscious with every second. Nothing crazy but the first pulls are kinda overwhelming, they usually give me an awkward head load. A minute or two later I did another set of 2-3 pulls 1-2 seconds each. The experience rapidly changed, becoming more beautiful, spacious and magical. I stood up and looked around, doing a few more pulls. I felt like I was going through dimensions and the further I was going the more beautiful the experience was getting. There was a perfect spot in the mounting where you could have an astonishing view (I will attach a photo) and I decided to go there. I was no longer walking, basically I was floating. Once I floated to the spot, I looked at the view and man… I wish I could explain but it but it’s impossible. I felt like I was witnessing the most beautiful thing in existence for the first time in my life, recognizing myself in every crystal-clear parts of the scene. It was so fucking beautiful and epic to the point where it started terrifying me. I was terrified by it’s majestic beauty and I couldn’t look any longer, although the word “looking” is not correct because I was conscious of myself in that thing rather than looking at it. I was like “What the actual fuck I am, God.” This very thought triggered my god-realization and I smiled. I also felt sad, because none of the people who were there on the mountain could see the beauty of what they are, of what we are. I was perceiving them as just fucking NPCs lost in their dreams of making photos for their Instagram accounts and women, talking nonsense instead of just shutting up and looking at the magic of being. Of course, I was conscious that I’m all the people. I was like why do I want the people to be conscious of their true nature and beauty. I couldn’t get the answer because there was no reason, just desire to share myself with myself and celebrate it together because what else there is to do in life? Be a fucking rat and live like a zombie? There was a group of elderly people. I tried to listen to what they were talking about and I realized that they were so deeply asleep and the only way they are going to awake is death but when they incarnate as something else, they will forget what they are again. It made me sad. I started to think of what society would look like if we were taught proper spirituality in schools and were to use 5MeO DMT under supervision and guidance like a prescription for god-realization. It’s impossible to imagine the consequences of this unreal scenario being real but it was very obvious to me that society doesn’t want to awaken and God can’t be forced on them. The problem is that if you’re not pursuing God, you will be cursed with suffering. It’s one thing or another. And I felt the suffering in all of them… P/S I do not recommend tripping on 5MeO-DMT outside of your house unless you are experienced but even than it's a risk. Also psychedelics can be illegal in your country (thanks god 5MeO is legal in Canada for self-possession).

It’s okay, sometimes he forgets to take his pills

It was bad for me in the beginning as well but then it makes you very aware. What was the longest you abstained?

Semen retention raises baseline of consciousness in my experience. I've been practicing it for 5 years. Have you tried it Leo ?

How can you be so sure about it ? Of course, I’m very positive 95% of the people will never reach anything close to what I reach and this forum is a great prove of it where 95% have no idea what they are taking about and it pises me off because these people have thousands of posts here, remaining shockingly stupid obviously delusional and ideological. But I reached a few times states where I transcended you, so you dear Leo have never had any trips. I imagined all of them.

Please explain what are these states what they have in common and the differences between them Also how permanent/ impermanent they are thanks

off-topic

nonsense

I feel this way. I also believe 5MeO-DMT at some point changes your base line but it's very difficult to notice. All i know is reality doesn't feel the same way it used to feel before 5MeO-DMT

I'm talking about the God realization what I reach on 5MeO-DMT when I realize I'm the only conscious being and everything is me of course it includes infinity. I assume you can only reach the no-self state during meditation altough I might be wrong about it

Find a purpose and if you can - move cities. Exercise a lot. Be gentle with yourself. Take your time. When I broke up with my first gf it took me 2 - 3 years to fully healed. See it as a great opportunity for self-improvement. Most importanly don't fuck other women to forget her, it will just bring more pain (first hand experience).

It's not who. It's consciousness, if you call it a soul it's still fine, but soul isn't individualized it's universal trying out a new form.