TheGod

Recently I’ve been having profound insights on my relationships with women and their role in my life. These insights were reveled to me on 5MeO-DMT. Please understand that they are personal rather than universal. Since early teenage years I’ve been brainwashed about intimate relationship by my family members, society, movies, music, books. This brainwashing process was happening directly but mostly indirectly. I ended up constructing unrealistic expectations towards women and relationships which led to me constructing neediness and dependency when relating to them. Basically, I created an image of an ideal girlfriend or super nurturing woman and projected it outwards, but I was constantly failing finding anyone who could match this image. When I got into pick up and started talking to women (around 2 years ago) I realized that most of women have nothing to do with my ideas about them and it was rather a bitter pill to swallow, but I completely did it on 5MeO-DMT. The biggest and the most shocking realization I’ve had is this: I was looking for things in women that have always been in me but I was denying them because I was raised in a close-minded society that shames men for having strong feminine traits and I had to deny them in me in order to fit in. I also realized that all the spiritual work, self-development and awakenings I’ve been having for the last 5 years inevitably led me to re-evaluation of women in my life. Also, I’ve been moving countries and cities constantly on my own the last 4 years which developed strong independent skills in me since I didn’t have anyone who could help me or tell me things, I had to figure them out on my own. It’s been a difficult period in my life but also very liberating. Another thing is my value that I bring to relationships. This one is also a difficult thing that I have realized. Women don’t care about spirituality or ultimate truth unfortunately. This is not ideas but things I discovered directly when interacting with them. Those of them who call themselves spiritual are just new-age bullshitters or have obviously incorrect ideas around spirituality (again in my experience). Of course, there must be 1% exception (although it’s what I assume since I’ve never met them in real life). Also, I don’t know any famous spiritual teacher who was a woman, the most enlightened teachers have always been men, but this is not to say that modern men are more spiritual then modern women. I think they are equally deluded. Guys chase pussy and women emotional roller-coasters. Ultimately the need for relationship directly correlates with self-development, but also, I find out that my sexual needs corrupt the way I view women. I tell myself that I am interested in finding interesting or spiritual women or to learn about them or to understand them but nothing can be further from the truth. How come? Well, when I was 6 years old riding my bicycle, I didn’t think about women at all because I had 0 sexual desire. It’s all about sex and the rest is pure horseshit. P/S If you have never had relationships I recomend you do have them because otherwise all of the above will be just another believe system.

Why would you want them adore you?

I'm happy you understood it without having to experience the reality of relationships.

True love is impossible for humans. It only possible with conditions. God is the only true love, the being is it.

What a cutie 🥰 I love black squirrels even more

Hahahahaha lol Why would I want love from women ? It’s highly conditional. Cultivating unconditional self-love is the way.

If I didn’t have sexual urges I wouldn’t think about women more than I think for example about squirrels 🐿️

Nothing wakes you up better in the morning than a few hits of 5MeO-DMT. As soon as I opened my eyes in the morning I grab my newly arrived 5MeO-DMT (I hadn’t done in for 4 months) and I went on my backyard facing Tunnel Mountain (Banff). After a few good hits I recognized myself in the mounting and in the present moment. After having appreciated my infinite beauty and creativity I had a few more hits. In seconds I became so conscious that I realized that I am immortal. I realized that the idea that my body exists in time and is going trough process of aging is a dream. I realized that my human body is eternal and I am imagining my organs as well. It scared me a lot and I didn’t vape anymore. What if impermanence isn’t applicable to my body ? This is so radical but what if it is the way it is ? What if Im imagining being a child and jn the same way I am imagining becoming an old dude ? Now since the 5MeO wore off this idea sounds laughable.

God, God leo tell me if I am wrong or no I still hasn’t transcended your authority for me

I don’t know because I vape and I don’t even count seconds or pulls. I just go as deep as I feel like going and at my pace.

My ability to start entering non-dual states when meditating terrifies me. I used to meditate for 30 minutes straight but since I didn't have any reference experience for being I was basically wasting my time calling it meditation. After having been on 100+ trips I recently decided to get back at meditation but it scares me because I can literally start tuning into being in 5 minutes. It brings about terror that I usually have on psychedelics when experiencing ego-death. On psychedelics ego-death is enforced on me so I do enter non-dual states shortly after. When I meditate I just can't surrender because on psychedelics I know it's temporary but when I do it sober it freaks me out because I am afraid to never return. How do I manage this fear of disappearing while meditating?

I feel like I'm dissolving into the present moment and it scares me because I don't like this feeling of no-boundaries and complete enmeshment. I mean I am okay with being the present moment, but the thing is the present moment isn’t limited at all and groundless and it’s also located in nowhere which also means that it’s infinite. I had a bunch of break-troughs on 5MeO-DMT where I would lose all the boundaries but every time it happens infinity is killing me. It’s like imagine if you were a bottle. A bottle can be of different sizing. It can be small, medium or large or super-large. I’m okay to be all of them because it doesn’t matter what size it is if it has some boundaries at some point but God isn’t like any of these bottles. God is formless bitch and you can fill it out with whatever without stopping. Probably infinity traumatized me 😂

I'm not talking about humans and their ego games or need for stimulation. I'm talking about this precise moment where I am playing the game right now answering you

Well if you are God and you are everything and have everything, what is there that can entertain you? Exactly - nothing. God has its need for self-enertainment. It's addicted to games because it is the way it is.

I once gave my 5MeO-DMT vape to a guy in a park who asked me what I was vaping. He ended up throwing his wallet with all his things in it saying it all was just an illusion and why I created him. He also tried to climb on me (I was siting on a park banch). He returned very quickly though like in 2 minutes. Completely confused and walked away.

Yes, when suffering ends the other also ends but then boredom begins and here we go again

When I transcend that I will also trancend you and everyone else so there will be no point in telling anything

I just don't like God's design. When I am in my normal human state I am constantly looking for more or craving something or someone. When I am my true self it scares me as well because God has no control over its own infinitude and it's just too much and super overwhelming. I don't even know what is better constant ego cravigns or God's unlimited extasy that drives me nuts.

It's very difficult to describe. It's just the sensation. The sensation of entering being or rather recognizing it (because it's always being) brings about huge resistance to the point where I want to go back as soon as possible and not to go deeper. It's like I am merging with the present moment. It's not a thought or idea it is just happening. This happening scares me directly.

Bro just a piece of advice from someone who did 5MeO multiple time and LSD a lot of times, please do not expect LSD to prepare you for 5MeO Go for 5MeO right away! I recommend you buy yourself a 5MeO vape cartridge it is the best option to try 5MeO.

The more I live on this planet the more I realize that society is toxic, most of the people are unconscious robots and living around them adds significant spiritual challenges. Unconsciousness takes you ever and you behave like a robot as well, moreover, you truly believe that it is normal. Anyways, I'm very ambivalent about my desire to quite society when I am 40 (I'm always 30). I am not talking about living in the woods with bears and wolfs but rather in a small village with just a few people (but not too far from a big city). This desire comes from my god self that wants to realize itself. On the other hand I am very much afraid of doing so. I've developed so many identities and now it seem terrifying to me to leave all of it and go for God. Although, I am very doubtful I could deep God-realizations just by doing it but it will definitely bring me more piece of mind (although there will be more problems anyways). Question for you is this: do you think God is afraid of loneliness? Does God have a need for other?

It’s been almost 3 years since my first full God-realization. I had experienced multiple God-realization but all of them were kinda unclear and uncertain. The night I vaped 40 mg of 5MeO-DMT I woke up to the fact that I was dreaming up the universe, all objects and all beings and creatures in it. It was rather a terrifying and unbelievable experience. I had a panic attack thinking I could never dream the dream again. I was afraid I could never fool myself again and I was very fucking conscious of the fact I was trying to fool myself which was bringing even more fear. I swore off spirituality and psychedelics. Of course, at some point (I don't want to use the word time because I was outside of time and space and outside of notion of being inside or outside) I came "back". The next day when I woke up I was just walking thinking I had some sort of a psychosis or a delusional experience so I decided to prove myself wrong by doing 5MeO again. Unfortunately, the results were the same. Over and over again and again. The more I tried to disprove the fact that I am the actual fucking God the more evident it was becoming. After getting the same results on 5MeO-DMT I decided to go and try mushrooms and LSD but I was getting the 5MeO results. Basically, every time I would do psychedelics, I would become aware of the fact that I am the only conscious thing in the universe and I am the source of the universe and the universe itself. I would walk down the streets seeing others as myself in the form of other. The other me wasn't the source of me but I was the source of it in its form (I hope you understand what I am saying). I would walk through patios where people were eating food and enjoying themselves seeing myself the way I see myself in the mirror in a regular state of consciousness but in this case the image of me were the people, the patio and the entire scene where experience was happening. I could see myself beyond all the otherness that was appearing to me through different forms. So, I have 2 questions to you: 1. Were my experiences legit or delusional and how can I know what Is a legit and what is a delusional experience? 2. Can I as God lose my ability to fool myself permanently without wanting to do so?

What was the last time you took a psychedelic? Do you think your base level of consciousness goes down without psychedelics? I'm curious to know

Why? I think you should be more open-minded about it. What if mixing some psychedelics could reveal a new aspect of God or a new understanding? Although, steaks are higher.

What happens if you eat a half of one and a half of the other at the same time?