Tldr: Got a psychedelic like trip from 1 joint hit and feeling confused/lost
I'm looking for advice on a recent experiene I had. I was hanging out with my friends and I took one inhale of a joint. It resulted in a mild psychedelic trip or at least I would describe it as such.
I had smoked weed before but I had never inhaled it properly. The first time that I did, I had an incomprehensible psychedelic experience. It began with my consciousness raising itself through itself to new levels. Then when I thought that it couldn't get higher, it just kept going further above itself through itself.
Now, i'm sure it wasn't that strong of an experience as for what psychedelic experiences can be, but to me especially to my mindset starting out it was very hard to comprehend.
After that I started to experience some coloured patterns around me. Not very strong ones but noticeable. Also sensations like a checkered vibration kind of like it was coming from the environment. When I stopped moving, it began to "burn" into my skin and then when I moved again it left an after effect. I also experience many more effects some of which I have forgotten. I felt introspective and processed some trauma. It was also kind of "messy". For example I had irregular twitches in my arms and legs especially. Not strong ones but still.
Now mind you this was all from 4 inhalations of 1 joint. I don't know the strain, but I was smoking with friends and they had nothing different from normal weed effects.
Now, 4 days ago some months after the first experience I decided to take 1 hit from a joint while hanging out with my friends. I inhaled fully in and fully out, and the effects hit me immediately. I had pretty much the same effects, but just a bit lower. Out of these effects, the most important one was the raising of consciousness to a new "dimension". It's hard to explain but it is also very incomprehensible.
I have also meditated since I was 14. Recently I haven't much but back then I meditate everyday for many years. Once when I was 17 and doing self-inquiry meditation, I realized that I was just a thought. Like me, Teo, was a thought. Then that dissolved and in an instant I had no fear and I was experiencing reality with no self in a peaceful blissful state. Then in 5 seconds I came back. After that I continued life as normal.
Otherwise in life I have some struggles with Mental Health. Nothing major anymore, but just some small struggles. I'm also struggling with meaninglessness. I also don't know what to do in life generally. I'm living a slightly unhealthy lifestyle and most of my days are spent generally playing a video game the whole day.
For context I'm a man from Finland. I don't know if I'm a genetic specimen or if those experiences are normal. And yeah I'm looking to hear your experiences and to give your advice. I especially want to improve my normal life. I also have struggle with addiction to porn/youtube/etc. and when I try to not use them it feels awful and sometimes when I try to abstain, I "shut down" and just lay on something.
If you can guide me in my meaninglesness and generally in direction or give some insight for this situation, I would higly appreciate it. For context I'm 18 and lacking in experience in this, or pretty much any domain.
