Chadders

In the last couple of years I have experienced massive personal growth. I have gone from someone very content within my own company, working on my business and playing video games to now being a highly extroverted person. I actually did a personality test and I’ve gone from and INFJ to an ENFJ As part of my transition I sold my TV and gaming PC. I socialise so much more than I used to - it’s actually nearly all the time. I’m relentlessly active. I go boxing, swim, cycle regularly and enjoy park runs. I love the outdoors and being active. My diet is second to none. I am so much better with women now and much more confident being able to turn women on and also know what my needs are and what works for me - I’m not here to perform it’s a two way street. I met someone recently and we’re really hitting it off which is nice. But something happened two weeks ago. Going down a hill at speed I hit one of the tram tracks and came flying off my bike. I have a broken leg and wrist. I was taken into hospital and was there nearly two weeks - a week waiting for an operation! Now I’m back home. My Dad is having to look after me because I can’t manage well as I can’t put any pressure on my leg for 6 weeks. This is perhaps the hardest personal challenge I’ve had to deal with and it’s bringing face to face with my old ways because what the fuck else can I do. I wish I had my gaming PC but there’s this guilt around going back to that. I recognise that I have created a shadow out of my old self - the introvert happy playing video games and working. I am no longer that person Not really sure what I’m trying to say here but if anyone has had any similar experience it would be great to hear. Tbh even being on this forum feels like I’m reverting back - I haven’t been active on much at all until recently Additional context I had a very profound psychedelic trip (I credit psychedelics with how I have radically changed) over a month ago. It was like a warriors initiation. Not going into it but after this I just got a sense that I want to settle now. To stop taking the hard road and just be. I have been relentless over the last couple of years really pushing myself. I’m starting to feel like this accident is a way the universe has forced the breaks on me

I’ve been doing psychedelics for a few years now and I believe I’ve grown tremendously through them. My personality has radically changed and my world has got so much bigger The last trip I had I was on mushrooms. As with all my trips I never do them for recreation so usually they’re pretty intense. This last trip I had what felt like a warriors initiation. After the trip I just felt like Jesus I just want to settle now. I don’t want to have to keep pushing myself to take the hard road because it was an intense experience So I’ve decided that I am ready to settle now into where I am right now. To be rather than to become. Might return to them later in life - 10-20 years down the line maybe Anyone else had a similar feeling around this?

I’ve had an awakening on relating to the feminine also but with added depth I would say Simply put the feminine in all of us wants to ‘play’. It enjoys the game of life. The masculine in all of us wants ‘truth’ and does not want to play a game. This is where the dance is between the masculine and the feminine. Women want to play a game and you need to be able to groove with that but only to a point - if you keep trying to play her game she’ll get bored and it’ll also deny your truth. This is where as a man within relational leadership, once you feel like you’ve had enough of the game you lead her to go deeper - basically with the game or playfulness there are layers to this and both you and her ultimately want to go deeper so you as the man communicate your truth to her. So you might say this isn’t working for me I want to go deeper with you or this would mean so much to me if we did this - it’s up to her then This is where timing is important. Too soon and she might feel unsafe or that there’s been no playfulness and if it’s too late she’ll get bored - because like with any game you will get bored of it. You will want to ultimately play a higher game by going deeper so you lead her into that This is actually where as a man you have to own your truth and your terms in a relationship. Some women will have games that are too complicated (They might have a lot of childhood trauma for instance). Some women will have games where they’re not transparent with the rules I.e. they are not very emotionally open (potentially there is an entitled expectation here about the man being everything). Whatever the case you as the man decide what you’re willing to play with the feminine. You are divine and you choose. So like with any game, you always have to be willing to walk away if her game does not work for you. This is how as a man you regain balance in a dynamic and make sure that relationally it works for both of you. This is the power of masculine leadership Just to add we all have a masculine and a feminine so even as a man you will enjoy the game but just to a lesser extent. If she’s too easy for you, you might also get bored and for a woman, she also will want truth from you as well. She doesn’t just want to stay at a surface level

@theleelajoker the concepts help me understand reality. I’ve found David Deida’s work very illuminating to me. There’s so much misconception around what it means to be a man and woman

@Judy2 One incredible way to release tension in the body is to go for a wild swim. If you have a local lake nearby and the water is clean take a dip Aside from that specific example, shaking the body to get the tension out. Sitting out in nature mindfully is another

@Hardkill I definitely see the far reaching consequences of the gamified world of app dating As for the inequality between men and women in terms of matches etc, as a man you absolutely have to own your own terms in a relationship and communicate that. You have to be willing to let her go As a man I see this as the only way to redress the balance to ensure dating and relationships work for you both. You’ll find you don’t really need her you just want her and it’s important that you set your terms for a relationship if she wants to be with you. She will respect that

My heart goes out to Palestinians. The suffering is unimaginable This is one of the greatest human rights atrocities of modern times. I can’t stand how my government has done nothing to stand against the genocide going on. They’re pathetic small people

@Hojo Lol I love the overtly sexually way you have described it. Very David Deida Yeh the masculine wants to penetrate the feminine and the feminine wants to receive and open as love. Thereby they merge and you are one with everything The separation between the two is an illusion. You are divinely masculine and feminine

Hits home just how fucked we are as a human species if we don’t change track. The level of global coordination and cooperation required to shift the dial. My god Capitalism is our Achilles heel. Without spiritual growth there is no world for tomorrow that is better than the last

Hookers and cocaine

@Zen LaCroix Insight would be a better word. Yes all insights are my own. What I have said here is different to what Leo has said. David Deida’s work on masculine feminine dynamics is a foundation You would do well to be less cynical young padawan

@theleelajoker I’ve found David Deida’s work very helpful. The masculine is the awareness and the feminine is everything else (life itself). There is no life without awareness and without life awareness is nothing anyway. Awareness is the divine aspect as it is eternal and unchanged. The feminine can’t touch that. When life gets hard your ability to detach and enter the timeless moment is what gives you masculine power and you become unshakable. Again these dynamics are in both men and women but as masculine identified person I lean toward consciousness but still love life. If I didn’t I might as well be dead

Business development but going into secondary school teaching in design and technology. Specialising in wood work

This is why I like this forum. I have not heard of those practises so will be trying them out tomorrow. Thanks for sharing Any particular style of Pranayama or Qigong for grounding that you would recommend?

@Leo Gura This may have already been asked but will you be adding all your recent episodes to podcast player? I use Apple Podcasts

@Verg0 By spiritual I would see this as the pursuit to 'understand reality' - and why anybody would want to do this can only be for love whether thaqt be in the relative domain or the metaphysical I have found psychedelics to help me understand reality through an elevation and change of consciousness. They're definitely a great tool

His episodes on love are some of his best. What is love I also really enjoyed his episode on conscious politics and the role of government

I have noticed a day after taking LSD (only a small dose) I find I am depressed. Does anyone else experience this and what are people’s thoughts on it? I would not say that my life as it stands is as fulfilling as I would like but without going into the details I am in a transitional phase where I don’t have a lot of options so I feel it heightens that emptiness. When I’m on it though I fucking love it tbh. I don’t need a lot but I find both my connection to the present moment and love simultaneously get better. I feel like myself but my performance in the relative world is enhanced. If I’m usually at Lv6 on LSD I’m like a Lv9 (out of 10). Again this is on a high micro dose

@Nilsi I know yoof. I’m in limbo for another 5 months. I’ve tried but it looks like the universe wants me to stick with it But my life ain’t that sucky. In one way I have a very full life but the level of meaning and purpose that I need from my work is just so much more now. I am not content with my current career. Burned out and fucking bored of it I don’t want LSD to be an escape. I never take psychedelics for that reason. I only do it to enhance myself personally. In many ways it has and others I am not so sure yet

@Vynce Yeh it does seem that way. I said the day after but it was actually a couple of days after my mood tanked. On reflection it is mostly my situation that is not satisfying because my current job is just shite. No challenge and no meaning for me now. I have it very easy. Actually the day after I did DIY in the garden and was fine. The next day I was sat on my laptop thinking wtf is this shit lol I am in limbo and for the next 5 months I don’t know what the universe has in store but it looks like it wants me to stick where I am until teacher training. There’s only so much you can do But it does make me think I need to be more mindful of the post mood dips when I’ve not got the meaning in my job that I need

@HMD best technique is simply keep it out of sight. Same principle that applies to having cookies in a jar at home. It’s just easier to not have cookies there so you do not have to resist the temptation Leave your phone at home and go for a walk/bike ride

@Yimpa yep I mean more recent additions

What do people think about starting a family? I find many are just not in touch with the deeper purpose behind it We’re actually talking about something that is an inherent part of the evolution of the human species. It’s not ‘traditional’ in that dismissive attitude some people have but it’s baked into the fabric of the human species. Family units were a core part of tribal societies it’s not just some conservative mid-century option. We are hardwired to procreate and care for our children unless very dysfunctional Also I would say that what makes a boy a man and a girl a woman is when they are ready to start a family - this is irrespective of whether they actually do or not, the point is they are mature enough to do it properly if they were to. It’s a good test of your own maturity. Do you truly believe you are mature and strong enough to be a grounded, loving and stable father figure or a compassionate, loving and nurturing mother? A big problem is that many people are not mature enough to be parents. This is so obvious with people who can’t fully take on board the responsibility in being a parent I’ve seen posts where people will dismiss the family option and go their own way with travel or whatever. That’s fine but it’s this dismissal and the conception that it is a traditional option that bugs me. Starting a family is a beautiful thing. It’s not a lifestyle but a core part of us it’s just that maturity is the key to it

@Unlimited That’s hard I’d be very hurt by those comments You can’t change their minds on the matter so I would just try as best you can to let it go. They are where they are. You’ve got your life and they’ve got there’s. You’re not responsible for them especially being the child in the dynamic. The onus is on them But try not to judge them for it. I don’t know the dynamics but they have done their best for you I would hope If it helps to break free of the dynamic do it and don’t feel guilty about it. If you feel that it is holding you back in some way take a break from them. Focus on your life and developing yourself and then when you’re less emotional about it go back to them

I would say both on maturity. Hopefully someone would naturally mature with age anyway but you need to be at a base line level of maturity. To be stable psychologically, emotionally and financially is very important. In terms of commitment that’s where you have to want it like with anything in life. You’re not going to be committed to something you never wanted As for staying committed to it your child is your own flesh and blood. You brought them into this world and as a parent you have got their back no matter what. That perspective does require maturity and letting go of your own ego and selfishness Just to add to the maturity thing it is ideal that you are with someone committed to the child as well. It’s very important to have a good father and mother figure. The child can learn from both masculine and feminine energies. If it’s a single parent then the child potentially misses experiencing another universal energy. Boys with single mums as parents have to make up for the lack of masculine energy and vice versa for girls with single dads as parents looking after them. Having both is ultimately the best but leaning to masculine or feminine whether you are a boy or a girl Obvs we can talk all day about how identity is relative but for practically getting by in the world and not being dysfunctional kids need certainly and understanding around their sexual identity. Polarity is a healthy thing but that’s another debate!