Adrian colby

Sure. Two people experience the same thing. One person comes to terms with it and uses the event as a lesson to learn about and improve their responses, thoughts, behavior and studies the mechanism of the event, how it came to happen/ or the psychology behind the person that acted in an imposing way toward them. the other fills with anger, remains in a victim mentality and perpetuates the same reactive behavior towards anyone or any situation they see as similar even if it is truly not the case. They are behaving in a way their mind programmed itself to survive or cope and continue even though it is no longer needed. if the event was the same for both then the perception of it was subjective. no one controls your mind if you are self aware of your own psychology so you can inherently realise you have a choice through which lens you view your events. We always see it from our own bias unless we actively step back and take the bias out of it. I’ve a friend and his brother who were abused by the same person. Both have very different reactions. Although both were victims and so angry they became an issue for society cause they were attacking people… one went on a psychedelic therapy trial and turned his life around when he saw it from another perspective. The other keeps ending up in jail.

Composing, writing and singing ceremony music/ motivational music climbing mountains snorkelling the coast meticulously studying and getting involved with my countries hearings, political issues and diving into the nitty gritty of research papers to find patterns and possible resolutions to problems. wood carving for decorating my house which I’m currently building/renovating consciousness study and practice ( astral projection/ reality shifting) there’s plenty to explore but the time to do it is almost non existent. I used to build street carnival floats, giant puppets, marketing props ( poly sculpting and fibreglass) and costumes for the arts festivals around the country here but the pandemic wiped out the business. I loved it but that love diminished when the amount of work put into it didn’t result in any income or progress or growth in the business so I sold everything and gave it up.

If you listen to a few near death experiences, a lot of them report being integrated into the light and know everything. Compressing that all into the mind of a human isn’t possible so if you have a NDE or psychedelic trip or massive shift in consciousness during a meditation or within a dream, you know it but can’t hold onto it when you come back into the perception of the body. You can retrieve that knowledge but you end up knowing everything but unable to explain it because you know it as a whole. To explain it means making distinctions, focusing on individual things and creating narratives or stories about them as attached descriptions. to get there is to remove your attention from physical perceptions or the 5 senses and shut out anything external including your perception of the body and remain focused and aware of your awareness. This isn’t accurate but for the sake of describing ‘something’ close your eyes, keep the body so still that it eventually disappears and all that is left is the awareness behind your eyes. Eventually the head and eyes and sense of self will also disappear and you will be left in a void that is aware. Turn awareness back in on observing itself. It is in essence nothing and the core of what you are. You may have to slowly question everything and deconstruct everything you have accumulated as knowledge till there is nothing left and then let g. This is where interesting things start to happen. As awareness starts to reconstruct the mind or consciousness, form appears and you can end up anywhere, experiencing anything your mind can come up with. take it slow as sudden and vast realisations can be shocking and throw your ego into existential crisis. It’s not pleasant. There will be plenty people around to guide you but they will only take you so far and then the rest is up to you. Depending on what it is you are interested to know you may want to consider not concentrating on accumulating knowledge about cults or religions etc and instead turn inward and find your answer in there. Once that is understood, going and exploring all the various different things that there are to experience outside can be enjoyable lessons and not scary.

That’s interesting. The topic of arrogance has come up in trips, from facilitators and a message from another ceremony participant( although it was described as “old prideful soul”). And I fully acknowledge the arrogance and use the term openly when describing ‘myself’. I’m wondering if I’m teetering on the edge of full realisation of ego mechanism. It’s no longer separate but being integrated into the totology as a tool that is used for reality exploration and distinction as you say ( I’ve got over the hump of the negation and nihilism phase). I get what breaking the wall is saying so can’t disagree but cannot agree with dismissing reality as a dream. Having experienced creating reality from scratch and going into a dream fully conscious, the only distinction I can make between the two is by name and in some instances, level of solidity and finitude. I can accept someone else’s experience as their reality but I cannot dismiss my own to fit someone else’s. That would be denying my own direct experience… I think the confusion might be coming from the language ( within duality) attempting to describe something we’ve experienced outside that. In essence all of us are pointing at the same thing but arguing the differing experiences of how we experienced, dissolved or created the path to that realisation?

I think we’re mixing up occult with cult. occulted knowledge is what Jesus would have studied ( Jewish mysticism or Kabbalah and even speculation of philosophies from the east) . Regardless of whether such a person existed or not, the teachings and general message comes from ancient occulted wisdom. Just to be clear ‘occulted’ means hidden and a lot of prophets or sages of the time spoke in metaphorical language to hide it from the governing structures who attempted to stamp it out because it threatened the stability and validity of the hierarchies power over the people. it’s recognised that all power is Devine as all is one. Some misuse that power when they don’t have an understanding and fall into separation. They use it over others for their own gain but ultimately end up harming their own spiritual progression. The wisdom of the ‘one’ survived through the Greco-Roman empire by remaining occulted and kept alive by secret societies in various schools of philosophy like Pythagorean or platonic. Most of these included a psychedelic sacrament as part of the initiation. Jesus and other disciples would have been inducted into a mysticism similar to this. Instead of hiding it, they wrote letters to various groups of people explaining what they learned for example the letter to the Philippians/ Corinthians etc. It’s better to read and learn about occultism before dismissing it as something bad. As most spiritual texts are written in occulted form, it is incredibly ignorant to take them literally. In that sense, students of the occult know more about the basis of a religion than a devout religious person themselves. What lies under occulted knowledge is the study and understanding of the nature of reality and the ‘one’. what I think is being discussed in these videos is people getting caught up in cults or belief systems. anything can appear real and affect you if you believe it is real. Just for an example, there are a good few groups of people who go on about demonic entities hijacking ayahuasca ceremonies and yet if you go to tribes where this does not happen and you ask them, they tell you “we don’t believe in that” and it doesn’t happen. If you actually take the time to study and understand occulted wisdom, if your lucky enough to break through the metaphor and understand what is being said then you begin to understand just how powerful the mind is.

That’s ok. I’m still interested in what you are saying. 🤗

It is understood and your experience of it is also understood. What you yourself have described is also what has been experienced here. Descriptions vary and may sound different but are pointing at the same thing. This is not based on actualised dogma as the experience of dissolution happened before actualised, philosophy, spirituality or even psychedelics came into my sphere of reality so it cannot be ‘based’ on it. If it sounds similar then we are finding synchronous descriptions of an experience. what I’m reading from your post is that you think we are conflating awakening with the ‘description’ of self dissolution?

😉🤗. May the endless exploration of consciousness lead to new heights of confusion and insanity and all of it is ok no matter how mad it gets. Jump in. We can always rest ourselves back at the still point before the next round. And ‘I’ love all my other angles of perception even though ‘this one’ cannot see them directly, they are the eyes through which I come to know all things 🤗

Go through the enquiry to first distinguish itself against something that it is not. It is an endless exploration till that side of infinity is realised and the inquiry ceases and goes silent. All seeking while in the form of character has to begin with the dialectic till it is realised as a fruitless exercise. One must go through the exercise to learn. If it is in essence nothing with no boundary, it can only ‘be’ but cannot know. If it creates itself into a mind or some order or ability to know things in other words consciousness, it can simulate an infinity of attributes or ‘somethings’. To know itself as something rather than nothing but at its core it is always absolute and nothing. In consciousness it’s always moving, in awareness it stops and concentrates back into a singularity.

Absolutely. And I recognise that experience.

I agree. when I stopped trying to conform to the societal expectations of what a man is supposed to be and just started being myself with confidence, my wife said I was more of a man then anyone she’d been with in the past. To be honest I don’t think it’s the being a man rather it was just being an authentic conscious experience without trying to ‘pigeon hole’ it into a rigid label. If I have ever done anything to ‘try’ to conform to the societal standards of what a man is, It has been toxic and detrimental to my experience.

Yes. It’s just something I noticed when I embarked on this journey. I wasn’t following anyone or reading anything when I tried to figure out a way how to discern what was true and ended up having a spontaneous mystical experience where the whole of reality dissolved and there was nothing left except a dim awareness… which was nothing, nowhere, no time etc. shot back into reality in shock as an atheistic science fanboy having stared infinity in the face recognising it as god and me simultaneously and freaking out. I Tried to figure out what happened and came across an actualised video talking about neti neti meditation that sounded like what I had just done. I took it further by getting comfortable then with psychedelics and discovered the consciousness part during my first ever cannabis ceremony. The facilitator said I was the first person he ever had collapse unconscious but for me it was straight back to the infinity ‘non’ space of dim awareness and I became the thing I was trying to understand. I had to pull myself from that awareness and focus myself into a mind ( some form of mental mechanism with an order to it) but it itself was also infinite. An infinity pulled from infinity almost like two sides of a mirror. One infinity or darkness, nothingness, awareness looking out and the other infinity a mind projecting mental forms, dreams, imaginings reflecting back at itself to discover itself as something as opposed to nothing. I had to focus my mind, consciousness and create structured forms and narratives to recreate the reality I just dissolved or I was not getting back in there. I essentially imagined myself back into a human and became aware of how I was doing it. I became aware of how god imagines things into being including ideas, thoughts, coherent thoughts and linear thoughts to perceive linear moments or ordered time. I was creating it as I was focusing it with thoughts. To hold it within my consciousness I had to believe it was real. I had to deceive myself into believing I was a human and forgetting what I really was and suddenly remembered how I got into this mess 🤦‍♂️. I did it to myself. that’s where I understand Leo’s description of infinite consciousness or the exploration of the mind of god that on the reflective side of the mirror (symbolic description) there is an endless exploration of consciousness, forms, realms, realities, states of consciousness etc etc which is what you get if you go beyond bog standard awakening or enlightenment ( taking that to mean the discovery of the infinite nothing void that is the truest fundamental). coming back a little bit within that awareness void is where consciousness resides. Having become familiar with the placebo tool belief, I’ve been able to shift realities at night while going down into subconscious states so I can explore. strangely I find it easier to explore consciousness this way than with psychedelics. Psychedelics dissolve me too much and bring me to abstract realms where all the exploration and understanding is imageless and formless. I prefer being able to construct ordered realities so I can explore them. I do go into psychedelic like spaces from time to time including 5MeO space but it’s rare and I do psychedelics when I find myself getting rigidly attached to beliefs about this world just to release myself again. it’s wonderful but no one around here ( where I live or even the integration groups from the ceremonies) really understands. This forum helps as there are those who have experienced that and I recognise the same experiences even if they are described differently. so yeah I’m a perception within consciousness and all narratives consciousness conjures up about its forms or existence on this side of the mirror are a way of justifying their existence as real, dissecting them and creating ever deeper stories about them is consciousness expanding itself out, separating itself into more and more ‘things’, decentrating itself…another deception because consciousness itself is still an occurrence within awareness. To get back to awareness it concentrates back to single pointedness or singularity. shit!….. sorry im just after having a small god realisation sitting here. It comes and goes 🤣

Consciousness is the other side of awareness that knows things. Con ‘with’ science ‘knowing’. It forms itself within awareness. Awareness is the ‘nothing’ within which all consciousness ‘something’ takes place. awareness is the absolute and consciousness is god, The mind that formed itself within its own awareness.

Of course… in theory. But that’s far from the case when I do it. 🤣. Possibly the liberty caps are very potent this year. A friend went looking too early and only found 3. Instead of wasting them he shoved them in his gob and ended up sitting in the car for several hours unable to leave. Said it was like 3g cubensis.

My body displays symptoms of anxiety prior to a trip but that’s usually because when I travel using shrooms, they are few and far between. It is the ego that is afraid of dissolving but once it’s done I always facepalm having forgotten how beautiful it is on the other side. I can journey into the mind space with or without a substance so taking less ( what I tried to do last time) didn’t exactly reduce the intensity of the experience. Like you were saying I normally go with 2g or just under. This time I was given 0.8g….. still ended up in white light or god mind space although what that trip taught me was to be more aware of even my most subtle beliefs. I believed I had a blockage preventing me from journeying because I could feel the anxiety or tension in the pit of my stomach. The blockage turned out to be a ‘belief’, the belief there was such a thing as a blockage. It was merely tension being caused by a resistance to just feeling and going with the flow. Insight can come easily in a flow state. Not trying to achieve anything but just being and observing. Once I opened up I was able to master my mind and go into any space I set an intention to go into so… white light. From there I ‘create’ the scenario or thing I am contemplating and understand it’s mechanism from being its creator. You can face your fear and accept whatever happens happens and deal with it in the moment. Like a cold shower. Don’t think about it and create resistance and anxiety… get in there and deal with it when you’re in there. Feel it, recontextualise the experience. Study it as opposed to reacting. start with microdose and work your way up to what is a comfortable space for your mind. If it helps you be at ease then always have someone sitting with you ( but not interfering) to look after your body.

Confidence. Self assuredness( not arrogance) . When I got to a point where I didn’t need anything to satisfy myself, my wife described this as truly masculine, mature and attractive. prior to that I had been struggling with why she didn’t want to sleep with me. I was projecting my own inadequacy onto her and blaming her, assuming the fault was with her when it was me. I took responsibility for everything and became unconditional. I was not just a man I was just as I am and accepting and not needing anything. A great deal of strength, confidence and mental peace came with that and she was all over me like a rash. I became ok with the times she didn’t want my attention and I just accepted that instead of doing what I had done in the past ( questioning, blaming, assuming there was something g wrong with her, assuming there was something wrong with me and generally acting like a snivelling little boy… nothing could be less attractive and demasculating). so I would say confidence, self assuredness and contentment. if you want to go new agey that’s a strong yet relaxed feeling in the solar plexus or pit of the stomach. women tend to suffer an imbalance in this centre too. Everyone needs a balance of their masculine and femanine. So in that sense I would call masculine ‘confidence’

You missed the point. I’m referring to the behavior of complaining about unfair advantage caused by ‘different’ anatomy. Remove the labels of sex, race etc you’re still participating in cognitive dissonance when someone argues pelvic structure and glutes as an unfair advantage and then mentions pelvic and glute structure in certain races giving unfair advantage…. If the argument is stopping people from participating due to ‘unfair advantage’, then…… I understand the problem from the point of view of trying to create competition within a defined category outside of which there is very clearly differentiation but this becomes problematic when reality slaps you in the face and shows it’s spectral nature. There are no sudden and clear lines, everything is gradiated. a woman is a conceptual expression and expectation of behaviour, role and ability that is justified by its underlying biology but the underlying biology is a complex system that can appear both inside and outside a defined range of acceptance. Keep in mind it is being defined by humanity when its knowledge is imperfect and often based on assumptions. so far the study of people claiming and expressing as women but having male biological underpinnings have also been found to have female biological underpinnings so we’re looking at a biological system that contains both male and female attributes. The body itself has a neutral point beyond which it developes dimorphically. If it is kept in that neutral point and chemically developed into the sex that person is expressing, then it will physically take on that range. With strict guidelines in place about those ranges and a trans woman who meets that criteria, there is nothing to argue her being stopped in participating in a women’s sport. just to put it in some further context. Women have testosterone in their system. This is normal. Their bodies convert more of it over two days as a part of the progesterone\eostrogen\testosterone cycle. If they identify those days and utilise it to develope their bodies over time, they can come out in a muscle range closer to males using a male hormones. is it male? We all claim it is specifically male but it’s not. It’s part of a natural female cycle. men and women ( expressions) as defined and shoehorned into rigid categories by us, contain biological attributes of both male and female and every persons makeup is different from the next. Some people’s systems contain more congruent female attributes over their own male attributes where others may contain a more mixed set of attributes. I can only discern from the continued argument from the superficial labelling of only men and women, that allot of people simply haven’t bothered to look into how complex human sexual biology is. I stated it before and I’ll say it again. Our understanding of sexual biology is based on traditional assumptions but the more we study it, the more we find out it is not what we thought. When you deal with the diversity of reality you have to keep in the back of your mind that we may be wrong about allot of things we think we’re confident about

Fertility ( reproductive health) is not the same thing as choosing to or not to have children. western and less developed countries have very different lifestyles, nutrition, sanitation and environmental exposures.

Fertility and contraception are not the same thing. Fertility is about the health of their reproductive system not whether they have a baby or not. if you test a man in his prime from a ‘western’ developed country now days, it’s likely you will find his fertility ( sperm count and vitality) is greatly diminished in comparison to the average western fertility in the last ten years. Whether he has sex or produces a baby as a result has nothing to do with it. If he were never to have sex again… his fertility status would still show decreased fertility. If you test a man in his prime from a third world or underdeveloped country you will find his fertility is just as healthy in comparison to his ten year average and healthier and more fertile then a man in the west. If he has sex or no sex doesn’t change that. western or developed populations live increasingly sedentary lifestyles, over indulge in highly processed foods and exposed to chemicals, heavy metals, energy pollution, over sanitation, over medication, immune suppression and stress/constant cortisone release all of which contribute to a decline in overall health including fertility. chemicals in plastic products are known to cause hormonal problems that lead to infertility and we are literally swimming in and drinking it everyday. people in underdeveloped or third world countries do not have these problems. While they deal with issues surrounding poor sanitation, access to food, they tend to be healthier immunologically and more fertile. there is a balance between indulgence and starvation, sanitary and unsanitary, natural and unnatural environments that we need to understand in order to keep these bodies healthy. They have the ability to adapt quite well within a dynamic range but too far out of that balance our bio stasis becomes disordered and diseased. one such thing to consider is what happened in Africa during covid. Despite having no access to vaccines, poor sanitation and exposure to many germs and viruses, village life returned to normal in early 2022 according to doctors on the ground also reporting rapid decline in hospitalisations after the first omicron case in November 2021. Because it was less pathogenic and spread so fast, it boosted their immune systems causing widespread cross immunity to other variants alongside continued exposure to germs in general, gave them stronger immune systems and the ability to return to normal faster than western countries. It’s not too much of a stretch to understand living in conditions that are closer to a natural balance and environment means they are healthier overall. It’s hard for a westerner to come to terms with that seeing as we are constantly bombarded by media coverage of the worst of the worst. We are also taught that the way we live is healthier but overall, the evidence doesn’t support that. they are not lazing around having sex due to lack of other interests. That is an incredibly ignorant comment. In a place that is still tribal or does not have an ordered society or respectful attitude towards women in general, rape tends to be the reason there are so many babies ( most of which die, malnutrition, aids, cholera etc).

So we should ban ‘black’ women from female sports? Since when is a white woman the definition of all females. Would it not then be the case that a black womans pelvis falls into the range of a male in comparison to a white woman and considered a: an unfair advantage and b: not female. If a black womans anatomical structure differs from a white womans anatomical structure giving an unfair advantage are we not making the same argument using different labels? If that’s the case then we should also be arguing that black women cannot compete in white womens sports… that’s a slippery slope back into segregation. most trans now days are on blockers or HRT during or prior to puberty so their bone structure is going to be closer to female than anything else because it hasn’t had the opportunity to develop in a masculine direction. the opposite case would also have to be made with trans men competing in men’s sports if they were at an unfair disadvantage because of pelvis shape but I know from personal experience that is not true. Regardless of exposure to female hormones at puberty, my bone structure is in the male range. I’ve had multiple X-rays and dexa scans done while monitoring my bone density. It is common that trans can suffer bone density decline so must be monitored. I surprised my clinical team by developing increased density and skeletal structure within the male range. They were not expecting that but then again, at the time, most of their patients were old. I was the youngest in my country at the time.

I wrote about all of this on another thread where I opened myself up for questions. Technically I am transgendered but I don’t identify as that. For the purposes of a human experience and how to relate and interact within that framework, I’m a man. I was born into a social structure that initially told me that only two existed. A man or a woman and because I definately wasn’t one I had to be the other. My neurology and the gender that expresses through it is completely male but my body contains both male and female sexual attributes. I have a female phenotype but I also have genetic mutation that’s only found in males. the researchers name was prof Swaab Amsterdam university and this study was done over a decade ago! Prof swab has known about sex brain diferenciation since 1989 when he first published about the neucleus in the hypothalamus. hell I had no education at all as a kid and I still yelled at my doctors “ it’s in the brain!” I knew then. that part of the brain is called the bed neucleus of the straii terminalis. as much as I acknowledge the cultural conditioning problem by normalising the condition publicly ( which still needs to be dealt with) it’s equally important to tackle the right wing/ extremist/ religious infiltration using this as some kind of story ( the elites are transgendering your children for whatever bullshit agenda) blowing it out of proportion to the point it dismisses the existence of a genuine minority group and makes it dangerous to simply exist. I see it time and again when there are two sides to something. Each side thinks it is right and tries to destroy the other when the truth is there is half truth in both sides and they need to learn to listen. being cast out of society and watching from the outside has made it all the more clear to see. Any ‘black sheep’ in this group or forum has come to know that little glimpses can push you towards awakening. Of course it depends on your mentality and egocentricity. You can be so self centred and fearful you can turn into a dangerous animal that lashes out in defense of itself or you can become more conscious and endeavour to learn lessons and understand how it got to be that way. this is the professor talking to a podcaster about the issue. I don’t agree with everything that he says. Playing with certain toys is clutching at straws but that’s just the way he sees it.

I would know. I am one. I don’t identify as such though even though I technically come under the umbrella term.

I’d ask him why he lied to an entire room about being a qualified neurologist during a lecture few years ago and does he know the platforms that fund and support him are actually using him as a puppet to push their own agenda ( extreme right leaning oil industry moguls). Agenda pushing being something that he claims to be fighting against. He seems to understand symbolic association/conceptualisation to an extent but he goes cognitively dissonant when it doesnt support his worldview. I think someone already said it and that is he’s got a very heavy shadow of his own that he hasn’t dealt with yet.

This is not the case. Read the athletics guidelines in relation to athletes with trans or gender related disorders. Individuals are frequently monitored and are assessed prior to being allowed to compete in the category. If they fall outside the normal range of what is female, they are not allowed to compete. this whole thing has been blown out of proportion by people who couldn’t bother to understand something with decades of research behind it. I’m not just talking about the study of trans or anything that comes under that category, I’m talking about the study of entire human sexual biology.