Adrian colby

Decide on the type of person you want to be including the way you behave towards other people. Don’t allow their behavior to affect, change or determine how you behave towards them. Develop personal integrity and stay true to your commitment to be your chosen type of person.

From personal experience with lower chakra stuck energy, it’s earthly desires I hadn’t got out of my system. I have a gender disorder myself so I didn’t get the same degree of experimentation or exploration till I met my wife. After exploring a little I let go of the desire as I noticed it was attached or stemming from a thought. I sat with the thought and let it go and I lost all desire for a few years. There was a sense a peace and self satisfaction with it but I got the root awaken again after a mushroom trip and realised I’d just shut it down. In order for it to fully open and be ok with that energy I had to face my sexual frustration from the disorder, the unrealistic expectations I had developed from watching porn and healing my confidence in myself ( when lacking was leading me to blame my wife for not wanting to sleep with me when my behavior of getting upset when I didn’t get what I wanted or pleading with her out of not understanding why, was pushing her further away) I could have snapped there and then and walked out of the relationship and it would have been completely my fault. When I took responsibility for my own lack of confidence and talked to her openly we discovered a misunderstanding from our lack of communication both verbal and behaviourally. Everything came back up and was worked out in the open. The following week I screwed up once or twice but openly acknowledged it and gained more confidence. I no longer ‘needed’ what I was seeking from her. Our sexual relationship exploded after that as we both felt a sense of freedom from the obligation. It was a connection, becoming one, sharing energy, not a short lived satisfaction. It was more mental and up in the head. there are certainly very hidden traumas there that I wouldn’t have considered traumas so certainly explore the possibility that there’s something there with yourself especially if there is a sexual frustration that’s blocked at the root.

There’s a possibility that cannabis caused some brain damage. It’s not the same plant it used to be and latest study on young people ( below age 25) showing brain damage from prolonged use. looking at various gender disorders and neurological studies of such, the brain requires adequate levels of both testosterone and oestrogen to function properly. For example someone with 46xxy syndrome their testicles don’t develop properly and the individual suffers from lethargy and depressive states regularly without knowing why. Once diagnosed and treated with testosterone, the symptoms go away. One specialist in the condition describes it as the brain being starved of its corresponding balance in hormones what you need to understand is that the body has both oestrogen and testosterone. The breakdown process of testosterone is what creates estradiol( an oestrogen) and is an essential part of your health. If your estradiol levels are high (as you claim to perceive it), you may have a serious problem going on with your testosterone.( it might be worth doing some blood tests during these periods of perceived oestrogen surges to see if you actually have a raised estradiol level) the trans condition for a female trans has a brain that is somewhere between a male and female structure. It’s not totally one or the other where a male trans has a fully male brain. There is also a genetic mutation present. the brain structure is s physical phenomenon but electrical signal imaging of the brains responses, while there are typical male or female responses( cognition), they are so wide and varied it’s not really possible to tell a persons gender from them. there’s nothing to be ashamed of fantasising what it might be like to experience the sensations of the opposite sex and there are plenty people out there that openly express they are fluid and feel more one than the other on a given day. Certainly there maybe a neurological development associated with that just as much as there is a neurological structure associated with a person who is rigidly only one side. if you’re worried about it, I would test for the basic levels and rule out any disorders and then move onto other avenues like your psychology. Don’t get bogged down in it thought. Unless it’s causing serious health or distress issues, just enjoy exploring.

Nothing stays the same. It is ever changing. If humanity has a chance to combat climate change it will only be to slow it down enough to give humanity time to adapt to those changes. Mostly through technology cause I think we’ve plateaued physically unless they can figure out how to implement the new discovery about morphic fields/genetic stimulation.

Everyone has the inherent ‘ability’ to do and say whatever they want. To explore and discover their lives as they see fit… provided they don’t impose upon or prevent others from exploring and discovering their lives as they see fit. Individuality ( within the relative) comes with a bias (choice) and there are consequences to choices. That is what moves us through the life experience. Our choices should prompt us towards decisions that are beneficial individually and collectively (cooperation) but often we keep making the same choices because we identify with the pattern of behavior instead of recognising the harmful effects that cause problems for others and eventually isolate ourselves (entropy). The problem with hate speech depends on whether it is derived from a majority trying to silence a valid opinion pointing at something that is actually happening that threatens the identity of the culture or whether what is being said in opposition is based in a lack education/ignorance/ pre conceived or outdated beliefs. ( if you can step back you notice that it’s both) Hate speech and hate speech laws have risen in the past few years out of the chaos as one faction of society has tried to claw back the power of the narrative that determines what our truth is. It’s still the case that much of society doesn’t understand that ‘difference’ is the strength of multiple perspectives working together to get a clearer view of relative truth and so they treat difference and different perspectives as wrong. There is a balance between opposing forces that creates our human story. The question is if you fight to destroy one side that ultimately makes up your whole, when do you realise when it is gone you’ve inadvertently destroyed yourself too? So what is hate speech? It depends on a persons individual perspective. It’s better to listen to that persons perspective and determine whether they are talking about an opinion or their own lives experience. What they say will always have a half truth, even if it is buried underneath language that sounds like total fantasy.

Need to read this thread several times. Lots of great information and perspectives.

Would it help to be recognising or clarifying terms for example: the reductionist process is seeking to concentrate one’s experience back into a singularity which people describe as the empty space, void, bliss and nothingness which is one in the same as ‘awareness’ unto itself. As opposed to the expansionist process of awareness decentrating itself out into distinctions or attributes. Things that it ‘does’ but are not it itself. so we’re looking at a principal and attribute. Awareness or infinity and what it does to know itself ( consciousness). The word Consciousness means ‘with knowing’ so the godhead is somewhere between awareness and consciousness where an ability to split into two by making distinctions ( a single idea that becomes the dream of relativity that expands out into the stories that justify its existence through imagination. while the relative or dream is made of consciousness, consciousness is also the projection of the awareness, through the godhead into the dream to have an immersive experience to know itself by becoming everything that it is not ( or by creating things in order to know itself by its attributes or what it is capable of doing) because it cannot and never will have the ability to see itself. when a person chases enlightenment they find emptiness. They go back and forth from the state or sometimes get stuck in that cycle but getting over that means realising the exploration of the dream and all the possibilities because in the emptiness there are no possibilities only potential. Consciousness work is the exploration of infinite possibility and infinite states. Reaching beyond the human state is what some would refer to as raising consciousness, expanding consciousness or ascension? This is a further stage beyond realizing awareness as infinity or the Self. It’s moving on to the exploration of infinity as conscious states within the relative ( by relative im not condensing that to just the earth or our perception of physicality but I include all possible realms that can be explored) so you’re exploring different states of knowing on a spectrum that concentrate back to the godhead? You’re exploring the godhead or the construction of the dream. You’ve already become infinity itself as the absolute so knowing that requires exploring its attributes ( consciousness) ?

@Leo Gura and to everyone learning and growing through cycles and phases. I understand and would like to express this by singing to you. As time goes on I speak less but I write music, sing and I dance more, to express my experiences and understanding from a place of pure feeling. Its meaning will be different for everyone. It means what it means to you and that’s all that matters in the moment. It’s sent with love.

Would have to guess but based on a lot of opinions I’ve heard, it’s down to two things. 1: make something and make it available to everyone creating a point of no return where no one can do or live in modern society without it ( potential for abuse). Steve jobs himself while very driven and successful wasn’t an honest person. He had plenty of things to hide and people he dismissed even though those things didn’t really matter. 2: apple is a plug and play product. It’s technically idiot proof as a closed system so it’s grand as a day to day gadget or tool for the creative production industry ( music video graphics) but it can’t be tinkered with like pc’s. There is a limited amount of alteration you can do but it is ‘limited’. A pc system can be coded, moduled and added to which is preferred by gamers, developers, electronics coders etc and allot more programs are compatible with the system. I use both but I prefer my apples. I’ve had them from the first Mac classic in the 80’s predominantly for music production because those are the machines with industry standard programs I find when walking into various studios. I can and have synced up my pc system to run with them but I find more often than not the pc system to be unstable and crashes alot. My macs generally don’t and my most recent Mac, which I’ve pushed quite hard on processing, hasn’t crashed since I bought it.

Weirdly just standing here becoming conscious of simultaneous past and present time….. Triggered by a piece of music. Don’t even know how to describe this… don’t even know why I’m trying. There’s no one to descri…….. Oh fuck! No one else is awake………… No…. one else……. Is …….. NO ONE ELSE IS AWAKE! ?‍♂️?????????? I get it! ??????? God’s fucking mental! ???? It’s insane! There wasn’t a master throwing their head back and laughing uncontrollably when they ‘realized’ or ‘enlightened’. It was god pissing itself laughing at the absurdity of its own insanity remembering what it had done to itself because there was no master to awaken. No one is awake! Leo’s not awake, Adrian is not awake Only I’m awake There is no one else. ????? I keep getting caught up in my dreams and forget. I’ve no one to blame but myself. It’s fantastic! Wooooooooow!!!

There comes a time when the driving instructor must hand the wheel over to the student and a time when the student becomes the sovereign driver simply by driving alone. How else will they learn to drive the car if the instructor is always validating every manoeuvre and decision. It is the students decision to decide that they have learned and been guided as far as they can be guided. The instructor has no way of knowing if the student is ready. Only the student knows when they themselves possess the confidence in themselves to truly be the driver. There is a period of uncertainty between leaving the safety and familiarity or fallback of a person validating your every move and the point where you assume full responsibility. That chasm must be crossed alone. great is the day a therapist sees his client walk out the door after telling him he doesn’t need him anymore and he will never see his client again. He has passed on the tools for his client to now manage his own mind and discern for himself how to approach a situation.

? weeee!

I think it’s down to how deep you contemplate a subject without getting attached to it as some kind of rigid justification. 5MeO is such a drastically different experience to when you sober up that the ego tends to backlash big time and Co opt the experience. I notice this happens to a lot of 5MeO users in the beginning. If you are capable of moving past it by watching how the ego behaves as you come back into the relative and evermore subduing it till it doesn’t take over when you come back, you can have a better time of integrating the experience without projecting bias onto it. What we realise maybe found within the experience itself or the act of realisation when we are in relativity consciousness but then we go on to use it to justify all the minutiae. I had the opportunity to do 5MeO under the care of Ollie Martin of ( 5MeO movie where 3 guys from Britain/Ireland went to the Netherlands for what could best be described as soul searching in a midlife crisis). He did very well by respecting my request not to interfere in any way with my trip but he projected onto me afterwards. I found him to be very fear based, judgmental with pre conceived beliefs and stuck in conspiracies. He was also still struggling with basic familial childhood traumas that should have been addressed by now. Watching how your own mind works and continuing to observe it during day to day experiences is a vital part of integration but also practicing changing the patterns that are causing problems. That really needs to get out of the way so you can get down to the nitty gritty, philosophical, hyper logic and reason deconstruction of relativity so you can have a chance at really understanding these profound experiences. I read martins book and it waffled on for ages. While I can’t dismiss what he’s saying ( that’s his perspective and how he understands it) I can’t get over a facilitator getting so intoxicated to the point of throwing up on a client when they are meant to be sitting and being responsible for the care of the client. While I understand that the infinite doesn’t care about such things, they don’t matter at all, there is a certain amount of responsibility someone should hold up within themselves while conducting themselves as a human.

Being ‘nice’ is not the same thing as love, compassion and understanding. Nice plays into the need to feel needed and being seen or thought of in a certain way. Like using other people’s opinions as verification towards the sort of person you are ( actually not a very mature thing to do because you’re shirking your responsibility onto the shoulders of an external force to determine the way you are). Having actual love for someone means allowing them to be as they are and to deal with their own issues in their own time provided they are not imposing on or effecting others. If they are having difficulties with their life, it requires non biased understanding of the other persons situation from their point of view without you projecting your own onto them. You may be able to see their issues and their causes quite clearly and know that being nice to them is not the answer rather it will encourage the perpetuation of the behavior they are already carrying out that is causing the problem. Sometimes what they need is a reality slap or kick up the butt to place the truth of the situation in front of them and face it. The problem with that is if you lack compassion. If you push someone to face themselves too hard, if you become frustrated, critical, angry, sarcastic and down right nasty, you will be met with resistance, reclusion or backlash to the same degree that they feel they are being attacked. A person will not face the truth unless they themselves have made a decision to actively seek it for themselves. You need compassion to know when you’ve stepped over a line and gone too far. If you are going to be mature about it you have to realise you are dealing with a lesser developed consciousness and you were once there too. “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink”. All you can do is act as gentle guidance without imposing yourself on their life. They will reach out and ask questions when it is their time to grow up and when they desire to actually do so. It is not your job to save them. There is a balance between the two extremes I endevore to hold which makes me approachable when someone is ready to listen and learn. The only time I push people away is when they have listened enough and need to start exploring on their own. a group like this though is slightly different in that you have a bunch of people who are willing to listen and learn but keep making the same mistakes over and over and misinterpret and misunderstand. I can understand the frustration and that if you are at this level you should be able to take strong criticism. That’s not the same as being angry and nasty. At some level the angry and nasty is just a perception according to the perceiver but it is equally a reflection of the person who is being angry and nasty. a balance in teaching and learning is called cooperation where the teacher and student work together to progress( the absolute talking to itself). Anything else is coercion where both the teacher and the student will loose one another( the absolute separating from itself).

What type of person do you believe you are that you are not welcome somewhere?

Good luck with your decision whatever it might be or whatever form it takes. Even if it doesn’t work out as you expect it, use the experience as part of a learning process. ❤️

Hi lonewanderer. I decided to take 5MeO ( Bufo) in 2020.age 37 I had never heard of psychedelics and drugs were a big no no at the time. I had embarked on finding out how to discern truth ( from the point of view about winning an argument about the non existence of god with a Christian). Ironically I ended up dissolving my reality during a meditation and came face to face with ‘infinity’. I had heard Leo talking about 5MeO on his videos while I was looking at them from a philosophy 101 perspective and so I went and read about what other people were saying about the drug. That it could induce the experience of no self and a state of awareness prior to reality. And so I tried it to make the comparison with my natural experience. With the exception of the intense energy, the experience was the same. Near death, no body, no perception, just a swirl of being nothingness. I had done a lot of contemplation and intellectual deconstruction before ever taking any psychedelic so I was able to observe without getting caught up in it. It is very intense especially for a first time psychedelic experience. In order to take it I had to go to an ayahuasca ceremony which I had no interest in. The ayahuasca didn’t really do anything for me but opened up a connection with other people. I’ve done 5MeO four times and I really don’t get anything from it other than this state. everyone’s preferred medicine or tool is different. I do a lot of my contemplation work with mushrooms and if I want to go further into the god head… strangely it is cannabis that does it for me ( only done it twice but most profound realisations have come from that) I can’t advise for or against other than to be careful as Bufo doses too high can be dangerous. if I’m talking to someone who’s curious about psychedelics I usually say to start with a low dose of mushrooms while being supervised by an experienced sitter just so you can learn to navigate the space comfortably.

After having the experience of awareness imagining myself into a reality, in order to hold onto it I had to believe it was real. The first self deception leading to forgetting what I was. As I form more and more beliefs and disbeliefs, the deeper into my own self deception I fall. Once I become aware that has happened I can watch out for those beliefs. Some of my experiences I can prove to my others where we can experience together and others I cannot because they only occur when I dissolve this reality. This is where personal verification is important and stands above what someone else has said or written. There comes a time when you develop your mind to a point that it doesn’t need others input to navigate through its reality. Others collapse and become one speaking to itself

Don’t forget that this is one beings process who is doing all the hard work and paving the way. If you’ve been doing this work for a long time you will start to notice patterns and changes of mind from one side to another. In order to understand these various personal opinions like loving, compassion and understanding itself, one has to directly experience its opposite immersively to make the distinction. Human love and hate can be experienced and understood from a higher perspective and a realization happens that unconditional love has nothing to do with either rather it is goi v through all of the emotions and perspectives and integrating them to eventually stop the pendulum’s swing. There is a blissful balance there. You still interact and feel it all but you remain balanced and free from its influence. Leo is going through that process and I recognise it cause I’m battling the rise of distain for people who are causing problems for everyone. I’m following that distain to see if I can contemplate those people and issues deeper because I know when I find an understanding for it and the mechanisms that bring it about, the distain will fall and an even deeper love will set in. It is not easy to go through it because you get thrown from one side to another.

@OldManCorcoran I also beared the brunt of anger from the trans support group my doctor put me in touch with when I started asking questions myself and trying to figure out the gutts of the condition. Needless to say I got called an asshole, trailer and transphobe and was kicked out of the group for refusing to conform and go along with what is called ‘cis’ bashing( where gender variant trash talk ‘normal’ people to the point it creates a culture of hatred).

Yes. It’s like being stuck inside a costume where no one can see you. No one sees you, hears you or acknowledges your existence. They interact with the appearance of the costume and project onto it according to what they believe to be correct. Until I was able to fully express through the body, let’s say going from awareness to conscious to matter to identity and final expression and interaction ( changing my body and appearance till the outside could ‘see’ me as I was. Telling me I was wrong for being as I was, was seen as a form of denial and oppression. The frustration and anger came from the egos self preservation once the identity was able to express and it would get into a habit of immediate anger over the assumption that even a simple question was a denial of my expression. ( when I realised my own thoughts were interpreting the situation wrong, I stopped attaching so rigidly to the identity and trying to insist on its acceptance because it was already outwardly changed and people didn’t know any different unless I told them, again telling people was a lack of confidence and attempt to continue trying to justify my existence) I was never a part of the lgbtq so I escaped the conformity to that cultural identity. That collective ego system does the same thing. It starts off with good intentions advocating for acceptance but because the behavior of defensiveness has become a habit, once the desired is achieved, the behaviour continues as part of the collective personality or ego trying to preserve and justify itself when there is no longer a need. The anger itself starts obviously when a person is dismissed, threatened or afraid.

Yes it’s difficult to have the conversation and I have to change my language to switch back and forth between relative and absolute depending on who I’m talking to. Even in spiritual community it has to be brought back down to earth cause a lot of people are still caught up in the visible manifestations of the mind or rather, appearance of things. The origin of the trans stuff isn’t known but like autism there’s a suspicion about mothers exposure to stress or chemicals in the environment. The autism stuff is fairly new to me and I hadn’t come across it till recently. I’ll see if I can find one of the talks about it and post it up here. I spent years questioning my condition and digging through research for answers that correlated with my lives experience but when I unintentionally dissolved my reality one evening, I stopped looking cause I was more interested digging into the workings of the godhead and how it creates reality. Once I had finished all my treatment, fought and achieved legal recognition, my problems just disappeared and I was able to marry my wife and get on living life. Unfortunately there are others still struggling and the issue is becoming more prominent and politicised so I’ve come back out of the woodwork to see if I can contribute to a solution. There was no way I could have done this several years ago as I was much too angry/triggered/offended. I understand how those “triggered” people feel but I also now know the point that they’re missing this is a talk by an autism society where you might be able to track down papers or specific specialists in this area. The comments section is even more interesting as allot of them commenting are on the spectrum and transgender. They claim the gender treatment reduced or stopped the autistic behaviors.

It’s important to distinguish the different phases you go through on an awakening/ spiritual journey( whatever term you wish to use for ultimate self discovery). When you’re deconstructing everything in reality down to the very core of what you are (god/awareness), you realise ‘the dream’ and are very quick to dismiss it. Once you become familiar with everything being imagined into existence, you then have the faculty to explore the dream and discern what is biased, misinformed or complete delusion. It’s the same discernment used to deconstruct your reality, whether something is a belief or a direct experience, bias or empirical observation. Everything in the dream is awareness exploring itself in infinately diverse ways. Other than itself in a state of wholeness, ‘realities’ are ways that it expresses itself( reality meaning to relate to or in relationship with/ form made distinct from other form) science is the method we use to explore our reality through empirical observation while we are in this state. ( consciousness expanding its knowing by creating stories and narratives about the different objects, situations and beings) I’m aware of the frustration with science at the moment as it has descended into a financially incentivised authority that has started to resemble religious organisation. But that is why it is important to be aware of what is derived from raw data and what is being interpreted according to someone’s bias to support an already preconceived belief. One has to drop all their knowledge and assumptions to see what the research is actually presenting to them. It takes honesty, integrity and a genuine curiosity to do it properly. I’ve been through my nihilism phase and no longer dismiss my experience here rather I am exited to explore it. I was diagnosed with gender dysphoria in my teens decades ago before any of this nonsense started up in the media. I had no knowledge of the condition, didn’t know anyone else with it and it certainly wasn’t being discussed openly. I wasn’t influenced by anything so I’m one of the genuine cases. before I was diagnosed It had been discovered I had congenital gonadal dysgenesis. Internal organs didn’t develop fully. However this did not explain the years of insistent opposed gender identity. Because it had gone on for so long I was transferred to a specialist team in Europe. I went through full treatment and also participated in research at the same university hospital where I had it confirmed that part of my genetics ( mutation of cytochromeP17 that is only found in males) was also a part of my genetic make up. As I was not satisfied with just being told I was transgender, I went on a mission to find out why. While I only have direct confirmation of those genes, I speculate from other studies that my neurology is also structurally male which would explain the way in which I interact, discern and identify myself ( human self or character) in “relation” to other people. It’s not that a person is separated and egotistically identifies themselves ( if they were alone on an island it probably wouldn’t be an issue) our neurology is geared towards how we relate to others while inside a ‘reality’. the study regarding neurology was discovered by a brain scientist who was conducting research into Alzheimer’s. This was done postumously. He noticed that the brains of trans patients had a neucleus count the same as that of the sex they claimed to be. He went on to conduct a proper study. So it’s suggested that there maybe a link between gender based identity and a part of the brain called the bed neucleus of the straii terminalis which is in the hypothalamus. genuine transgenderism has a biological basis where the person is neither 100% male or female but they contain attributes of sexual biology that belong to both. As a human is a predominantly psychosocial bring, their neurology will override their genitalia when it comes to determining what side of the sexual spectrum they lie on. there have been dozens of other studies into neurological response to stimulus according to gender but with all honesty. It is so wide and varied that you could use it to diagnose a person… you could only use it to support what a person already claims to be. These conditions are rare. Because interventions happened with genital abnormalities years ago and it turned out a substantial amount of those children identified as the opposite, it was deemed unethical to intervene until the person identified themselves. In light of those findings, in my country, it was deemed that genitalia could not be used to definitively tell a persons whole biological sex so process was put in place to legally change the sex on the birth certificate in the event that a person identified as such. I was part of the drafting process and argued that it should be purely medical but the human rights lot got their way and said no one had the right to tell another person who they are. To an extent I agree but something has gone wrong and that is not what we are seeing today. what started with good intentions was trying to put an education program in schools to normalise the condition so that people with it could safely integrate into society by the time the next generation came along. Middle aged men transitioning would be a thing of the past simply because help and treatment are more available now and this is something that manifests itself in late childhood to early teens ( sometimes earlier) and people don’t need to hide themselves anymore. However because the education program was aimed at junior school children whom sex or identity is not yet an issue, these kids are going home with an expectation that this is normal and will somehow happen to them. The parents are pressured by a culture of ‘support’ and get called transphobes if they question what is going on. there are plenty of kids who have transitioned and we’re not genuine cases and have unnecessarily destroyed their biology all because they were exposed to cultural conditioning at much too early an age. religious and spiritual groups have jumped on this to try and grab power back from the left but at the same time they are trying to dismiss and stamp out even the genuine cases because they don’t know they exist or they refuse to acknowledge the research. the backlash from the liberal side is trying to protect the genuine cases but dismiss the existence of the ‘conditioned’ people because it ‘hurts’ the agenda. I find myself in a unique position by both having been born with a gender disorder and having seen behind ‘the dream’ and part of spiritual communities. Both myself ( a genuine case) and the kids who have made a mistake, find ourselves in the middle of a fight between two sides who refuse to listen and only care about pushing their beliefs. This means that the safety of those kids and mine is compromised. we do need to pay homage to our underlying biology and understand that when it comes to sex, there is a spectrum.( a man cannot be defined by a penis, he is much more than that both biologically, psychologically and socially. If he were to have an accident, cancer or birth deformity, other attributes of his biology would still be active in the identity he expresses as a ‘man’) We have culturally constructed a rigid binary that we are all essentially forced to identify with but there are people out there whose biology doesn’t fit into those roles. We need to be mindful of this while we are adapting to the change in the social constructs that are appearing everywhere now including when we deconstruct them. We need to be very aware that we are currently conditioning our next generation with our own cultural beliefs. I don’t identify as transgender. I’m fully aware my biology is a mix of both sexes but I interact and identify as a man. This is for the purposes of integrating into society and in my relationship with my wife. My wife sees no difference between me and any other man she’s been with. No one knows about my condition except immediate family, not even my inlaws. If my neurology reflects male then I don’t see it as appropriate to go around identifying as trans and demanding respect for it. My condition is a mutation of sex, it’s not an illness or psychological fault. It expresses as male and doesn’t cause a problem nor is it even existent until I say something to someone. What I would get back is the sudden change of behavior of the other person based on their pre conceived ideas or beliefs when prior to the moment I said something… they were experiencing the reality of it ( non existent, not a problem). of course it acted as a catalyst for my awakening to show me that clearly identity was an attachment so I’m no longer angry bothered or triggered by the issue. I am infinite imagination experiencing itself temporarily in the form, persona, character role of “Adrian”. Underneath it all I have no name or form. I’ve gone into more depth on the thread I posted above if you want to know more. I have an unhealthy habit of writing long responses.

In an ironic twist of fate I had embarked upon arguing down a Christian about how wrong they were. In order to do that I had to find out first how to discern what was absolutely true. I’d got to the stage of removing bias by attempting the ‘no self’ and had been meditating for two years when, one day, sitting in a cosy chair contemplating and removing all the things i was still in existence without, my body and the room suddenly disappeared.if I wasn’t shocked enough at dissolving my reality I went a little deeper and enquired what I was experiencing. There was no distinction between me and the blackness so if I tried to move anywhere, I was already there, already everywhere and nowhere at the same time. I knew everything but there was nothing to know. Everything was nothing and infinite, it just, I just went on forever. A singularity of awareness. I jumped out of the chair in shock whispering to myself “I’m God! I’m fucking God! That’s what God is!”. So yeah the Christian was wrong but I was also wrong… about everything. ?‍♂️

I started a thread to answer questions about the trans issue( above). Long story short, yes there is a biological factor to the cause of genuine transgenderism ( genetic/ neurological currently known, maybe more discovered in the future) but there is also an issue with non genuine transgenderism being caused by a complex of the maturation process and cultural conditioning. Autism also has a very strong link to the manifestation of opposing identity through obsession of another person or identification with them or the idea of what they are.