BojackHorseman

Feels weird to me But I know realistically that's the best chance at this Sadly I don't think so There's also another problem currently (she wants kids and I don't) which is making me question how the relationship is still working, but we do like each other and despite concluding that the only thing we could do is divorce since I'll probably never change my mind about kids, it's so hard to split and none of us wants to do it. I know this is ridiculous...) 44 yes yes (but less than before)

Not sure how to answer this right now cause my brain is mush and my english is bad, but I was never very material or scientific at all Very air headed, emotional, passionate, mostly about art, I guess that's the big picture?

Certainly But I think some tech do have bigger potential than other to change our lives This could easily be one of them, more than crypto (not dissing it tho)

I am dumb but that's not the point. You didn't seem to read my post. But I'll clarify. I was saying to give up if AI scares you so much that you can't find a way around it. Obviously the intent is not literally asking you to give up. It was formulated that way to shake you up instead of complaining that AI is stealing jobs. I also did make the distinction between commercial art and non-commercial art. But anyway. I people to truly love art will find a way of doing it anyway. I'm not worried. It might just become harder. But who cares. It will be very interesting tho to see how humans, and and their art, will end up adaptating around these inescapable changes There are still many different outcomes possible.

No such specialist in my country But To be honest I don't think the video game addiction is actually my deeper problem It's just used to cope, avoid, not feel or be lazy If it wasn't video game, it'd be something else I don't think video game itself is worse than watching movirs or whatever. It's more about... How do I live this experience and Hats around it in contrast

It's very weird for me, I do manage at times to be healthy by dropping bad addictions and implementing good habits, but usually it doesn't last more than...one month? And after that, the backlash can be pretty fucking long and harsh. For example last month was perfect. Exercise 5 days a week, started reading again, not a single unnatural thing in my stomach But here I am today, barfing on my third croissant today and playing fucking Overwatch mindlessly AGAIN (I had manage to uninstall it for maybe 5-6 months and it felt good. When I was not doing something more productive than video games, at least I was playing newer solo experiences instead of playing an ego motivated competitive game) Sometimes I fear I'll never be able to drop this kind of cycle. It might be a bit too late for that. Maybe some people are just here to be fed and I should stop thinking that I can fight in one way or another. Or maybe my brain has been destroyed by a childhood and years and years of adult hypnotic addictive content. But even if I admitted that I'm jsut an addict, I tried to fight that as far as I could, but still, here I am. Not sure what else I can do.

I do love ASMR but I gotta admit that I only watch asmr from women and I'm not attracted by male doing it. Now, this could be a purely esthetical choice in termes of sound, like, I also prefer female singers just because it's, if you consider the voice as a musical instrument, and if you average things, kind of liking the "female voice instrument" more than the male one, which is not worse than prefering a saxophone to a tuba. But I also suspect that there is some form of lust and horniness in me liking female voices better. Or typical sounds produced usually more by female than males (long nails tapping, female shoes asmr...but I'm kind of a feet/shoe fetish so...I mean it doesn't give me an erection to listen to this kind of asmr. Uuuh sorry, thinking out loud and trying to understand if there's more to it than just being horny and feeling intimate with a women in some way haha)

AI is a challenge. Learn how to fight it with your art. Or give up art. Or don't try to fight on a commercial level, and just do art. Whatever everyone is crying about will still happen. Adapt in one way or another.

At a certain point, just a few books by month, the tablet (considering this rather than an e-reader) and e-books become more (or same) sustainable as their paper counterpart. A tablet vs books give a less cluttered space. Buying books can become addictive. Shiny objects. In a tablet you can change the way the book displays if you want, and take note easily. You can't damage an ebook. The only con I can think of for tablets is that it might not be a good thing for your eyes? But I couldn't find any certain source about the fact that it can permanently damage them. Also, blue light and its impact on sleep, but then just stop reading one or two hour before bed and it should be ok? That being said...I'm actually trying to convince myself. Because I like traditional books. But I also know it's not rational to keep my huge libraries and not just sell everything to make some money and get everything in one convenient little thing.

I'm discussing cold facts, but the answer really is only what actually works for each individual in the end And the more I talk about it, the more I think doing a bit of each, paper and ebooks, might be the better way, I should really stop being so extreme and think that I have to tend to what the absolute best is supposed to be. But that was an interesting exercise to think about it/

Health : I have 2 heart conditions but so far nothing to be worried of, hopefully I can pass the checkup for many many more years. I started eating more healthy a few months ago and have been on a roll, also evercising 20mn a day, 5 days out of 7, almost never missing one Might not be a lot for people that actually do sport a lot, but at almost 44, I'm happy I got back on track instead of staying in my hole of lazyness Finances : i bought a house with my wife, but I'm paying big for it 23 more years. Otherwise, I'm surviving I guess. Going out a few times, buying a few books here and there. The house started showing a bit of problems, but they're probably managable, otherwise we'll just end up selling it and get something more solid even if we have to go smaller Otherwise, got a car I paid for and 7000 € on the side in case of trouble (not fearing medical trouble tho, as our country's healthcare is basically covering everything) Personal development : I've been stuck for a long time. Consuming a lot. Creating occasionnaly but never getting very far with it. Working gigs or with teams definitely makes me anxious, so my next step is to try and find a way with solo art, which seems to be the way to salvation for me Career : survival job. Night shift only but gives me lots of free time while at work. Will try and see if I can use art to make a bit more money on the side but not hoping too much. Will probably keep my basic job and try to find myself through art and make myself proud/keep myself entertained with it Relationships : I love my wife. But I also feel like...she's not one to push me higher. She does support me. She just has a very different personnality. Sometimes it frustrates me. She also wants a kid and I don't. All of this has been squeezing me hard lately. I have to think about this honestly. I'm afraid to go either way. Biggest pressure on my life right now. Self care : I'm ok I guess. Doing the best I can with what I know of. Home : yes Life : Feeling a bit stressed by being this old and being stale. But also, levels of energy and motivation obviously declining with age. Honestly, I'm kind of frustrated. I can't seem to just enjoy doing basic life and I don't seem to be made to have some kind of succcess either. Sometimes I just wanna clean everything and hit the reset button. But I'm pretty sure, considering my worth, that I would go nowhere. So i'm trying to strive with my situation. But this is hard and I never seme to be happy for very long Free time : Very fine (another reason why I fear having a kid. Pretty sure you have to erase yourself from existence so you can raise him properly)

"absorbing better from books than ebooks" I've been looking at studies but nothing seems to point to how much better you do absorb. If it's like 5%, who cares. But hard to say how much it does impact. "there's a physical experience from paper books that you don't get with a screen device (...) so much going on with a phone/tablet" Ok but what if I have no problem focusing on reading when I want to? Also, we all a phone close to us at all times. If you can be distracted, you will be distracted. As for the feeling of paper, I do like it too. But is that because we grew with it? Does a kid that reads on screens even cares about the paper? Aren't we just suffering from nostalgia and not being objective? "Physical library at home is tied to better education for kids" Well, for one, you do need to want kids for this to work But also, if I ever have kids, and even if I don't, I'll keep a library with my top books or something. As for having ideas when you pass by your library...never really occurred to me. I just think "oh, I want to read this", but this also works on digital by browsing my goodreads library or something. I might sound like I'm playing devil's advocate here, but I do think Ebooks seem to have the advantage over paper books. Maybe the answer just lies somewhere in the middle. As I was saying earlier, I can very well read ebooks, then if I love a book, buy the paper version so I can give money to the author, and have what I like the most on display at home. Maybe something like 80% ebooks, 20 % books, or something.

We literally all learn for other's stories We're not that original Also, the industry is already doing copy-paste with great success (if we only talk about money and success) Plus, we will were considering IA will stay what it curently is, thinking of ourselves as superior This to me, seems a bit pretentious and human-centric Lastly, you're talking about writing, and even if this may be replicated we'll enough so that mist people don't fare about consuming this of a humans doing... What about illustrations, or music? Most of it has no soul anyway, most people don't care about depth or who's behind it.

I've been getting incredibly cool results with some free generative AI. Not always, but it's so early. As someone that probably have a bit more of an eye for art than the average people (I'm terrible at it but practicing it/knowging the basics + consuming a lot of it and being used to analyze it), if I was in need for someone quick and free (or cheap) for a project, I'd totally be satisfied with what you can get even now. I won't cause I like thr process but I'm just talking about usability right here. So I'm sure most people, the one that started hiring 10 bucks illustrators on Fiverr, won't have any trouble using AI to replace artists in a lots of domains. This is a bit sad, but for me, if I was to try and make art my primary job, I wouldn't bet on the future and would just resign doing it for myself or for personal projects. Also, some people would say AI art is not the same. It doesn't have heart. Or they like working with humans. But what when AI becomes so close to us it's indistinguishable, and eventually becomes sentient, and AIs have personnality? We'll be old, fighting for the idea that humans remain unique, but will that matter to people born in a world with AIs? I think there's either a fight (not maybe, in the literal senses...maybe) that we're technically bound to lose, or that we'll have to fuse with AI in some way. I may be totally wrong. Just feels like this. It's scary and dystopic. I don't think ity's 100% true. But I also don't think there's not chance this ever happens, and there's actually quite a lot of chances it does unless we suddenly decide to stop technological evolution

As in, trying to be an entrepreneur, make money or something. I'm in my 40s, and clearly it's not my personnality to build something that makes money/makes a change in the world. I do like to make artistic stuff but I kind of admitted to myself that I would just do it for me, as I don't seem to have what it takes to make good art. Also, the few times I tried to work with people on paid or unpaid projects, it was exciting at first but always ended up being kind of icky and stressful at some point, not sure why. But I just feel it, it doesn't work. Plus, adding IA incoming, clearly the artistic jobs will change. Sure I can keep on doing it for me and a few people that I could eventually attract by having a specific vibe. But my question is...should I try to make something else out of it, some kind of business, of even try and learn something else that could bea more relevant business? Is it necessary to life to feel fullfilled? I can't seem to find a way to completely fill the hole, and lots of spiritual/personal development people seem to push the idea of being an entrepeneur. Maybe this only applies to younger people? (obviously, it could still apply to older ones, but ones with a certain type of personnality of experience, I really spent my life noodling and not learning anything, so I'm basically at baby level)

Reading this on his website : "I wish to make clear that the book and video clips do not form a part of a Kriya manual! Certain techniques cannot simply be learned from a manual. There are delicate techniques such as Maha Mudra, Pranayama, Thokar and Yoni Mudra, which cannot be learned correctly without the help of an expert who needs to check their proper execution. " Which is quite discouraging considering I'll never be able to find teachers where I live That being said, he's just saying "certain techniques" tho, so maybe I can still learn some kind of basics and get benefits

Can you actually learn how to practive through books? (or would videos be more useful, if anhyone's got recommandations) I was considering A Systematic Course in the Ancient Tantric Techniques of Yoga and Kriya But it sounds quite heavy at almost 1000 pages and maybe all of this is not needed to get benefits from kriya practice Also considering Kriya Secrets Revealed: Complete Lessons and Techniques which is less than half the pages and maybe as good as the other to learn useful basics?

Yes That is why I'm questionning myself Maybe I should (happily) accept that some stages of life have past me by and just enjoy what I have and the present That being said @Tought art is right too. If I want to, I can. I'd just have to be smart about it to make up for my lack of experience and energy compared to younger people. It's quite hard to build something artistic tho, I'm not against IA but if I was fully invested in making money out of an artistic career, I'd be quite afraid of the future right now. Just picture being a youtuber, or video game programmer, that's looking for concept art or music (not there yet I think this also exists), it's now so easy to pay less, or even use free AI for results that can fool 95% of people and therefore just give you what you want. So for me, commission work seems quite dead in the future (but obviously, I could be wrong). Maybe the way is to be what some already do, which is being some kind of "entertainer"? As in, on Youtube or Tiktok, the personnality is what separates them form others with the same or better skill level. But I'm most certainly not looking in the right direction. There's probably an out of box way to think about how to stay relevant in these fields (which are, I think, the ones that are really resonating with me, so there's probably no need to look elsewhere thinking about it) Sorry, just rambling out loud here I guess. And the funny thing is, maybe just doing it without any goal and keeping my survival job, might actually bewhat would make me happy if I let go of the idea of all those shiny people making a living out of it. Really not sure which one it is, if I'm fooling myself into thinking that "making it" would make me happier than juste having it as a hobby, or if I actually really crave for accomplishing something, and fear and lazyness are blinding my brain into not getting shit done and learning what I could about getting popular.

Ok. But why exactly?

Don't try to deal with "getting old". Try to deal with the problems occurring one by one. Also, most important, try to not have to deal with regrets later one. Do things you wanna do now, cause it might get harder and harder to do them later on.

I'm probably ADHD as I was since I was a kid (just never was diagnosed but it's super obvious now, in fact a friend of mine got diagnosed and I tick all the boxes too) This lead me to float through my scolarity and never really learn anything. By pure general knowledge standards, I'm literally stupid, I know nothing about history, geography, science... I know about pop culture (cinema, music, comics etc), but that's pretty much it. I also think watching and reading about spirituality helped me develop something too, but I can't name it (and it probably doesn't show writing in my weak english) But now I'm old and I notice I don't know anything about the world, and that actually matters too. Facts, practical things I can apply too (but this one's another topic I guess) I'm too airy. I can flow in conversations but if any subject goes a tiny bit deep on history and science, I feel exposed and have to nod and try to learn something, or hear people namedrop things As usual with my condition, the amount of things to learn/sources to chose from is daunting, so I'll ask something stupid : tl;dr : consider someone having no general knowledge and wanting to get at least to know things about history and science on a surface level : what books (or videos) would you recommand? Any other tips welcome.

Vitamine B12 (*) (Technique Electro−Chimie−Luminescence ROCHE) 661 pg/mL (197−771)

I was listening to some podcasts with predictions explaining how AI will probably make us more evolved and happy as a species (even if we have to consider transhumanism going far for thism, which seems inevitable anyway) But then I wondered...if humans evolve with AI in a way that makes them smarter/happier, what would a society with no problems look like? Would it end up driving humans bored or depressed? Cause if we don't encounter resistance...is it still an interesting life? That being said, the question might not be relevant, as I'm thinking from the point of view of a human now. Humans, or whatever we will call the merging of AI/technology and humans in the future, might think in a way that's so far removed from us that all problems we have may seem primitive and stupid. But yeah, even then, feels weird to imagine to me. If we all just connect to one giant AI cloud that's like "do this and this, and there will be no problems anymore", then what do we become? Traditional work will probably disappear, and what will art talk about if there is no resistance in our lives?

B12 levels (from a year ago, so around 5-6 years in my vegan diet) was...above average level, surprisingly. I do take supplements so this should be just fine. As for the other 2, they weren't in the report I don't know about SHGB, but looking at the symptoms of low testosterone, I honestly don't see any, besides depression, but I've been depressed on and off since I was 18 or so, and I'm 43 now. So the diet is certainly not guilty here, and I don't think it really got worse. I'll see if I can do those tests tho

What doctor and hospitals? Been vegetarian/vegan (half/half) for like 7 years and my blood test results are perfect. The vitamin pills don't cost that much at all, really. I'm sure some steaks or meals with meat cost more than their vegan counterparts (not even counting things vegans don't eat like ice cream or cheese, in those cases I just chose something else that's usually cheaper and more healty) so that balances it out. The only thing I'm not sure of is how expensive vegetables and meat substitutes or just tofu are expensive in the US. Where I live it's basically the same, if it's more expensive it's like a few cents I think. The problem with this kind of discussion is that people are judging vegans as a tribe with ill intentions. Sure, some can be pushy and stubborn. But these kind of profiles exist in every category. So, just facts, at least from where I stand : - the vegan diet is a little bit harder (if you're invited and people didn't think it through, in which case I'll just eat the dairy and shut up once in a while), or going outside but in most cases basically everywhere you've got at least vegetarian menus nowadays. - I'm in great health considering my age and I don't lack anything, the pills are really a few seconds to add to your tourine everyday - I loved meat, but I'm honestly totally fine cooking vegan, I really don't feel like I'm missing on the world. I still eat good stuff, and you can do super lazy cooking too, or even vegan junk food if you want. - My wallet is not bleeding more than anyone else's these days. But again, maybe veggies are crazily priced in the US