Sabth

Once in a while, I got this dream quite often. And this time, the bag was too heavy (unbearable) that I just stayed at the downstairs. (I didn't go up) To where I'm supposed to be. Like a class. Idk. And there was a witness. This person always saw me. This person is like someone who is the best in their field. And they saw me. And wonder why I didn't go up. Maybe I looked normal in others eyes. But they didn't know how heavy this backpack I'm carrying. It's too heavy I couldn't bear to carry it upstairs. But when everything ends (I thought so) as it seems. I went up anyway. With this f heavy backpack. Barely making it. And when I'm up I met everyone. And they wondered why I didn't came. So I gave some few people my back pack. Some girl couldn't lift it (worser than me) and there are some guy who said it wasn't heavy at all . And some guy who said it was fine & quite heavy. Idk. And I met someone who was quite interesting. Many people had their own thing. And this guy, had a somewhat distinct quality of work. I said I like it. And he told me what it is in full. No wonder it's good. So his work was good. I also saw people who would collect money from us . And I was paying it. Before I go down . /Out to buy something. There was also so many weird people outside I was lucky they are not attacking me. Before I went back inside without the door closed. It was such a weird dream. And the end of the dream lasted with me making up the bed for a woman who seems like my teacher. Or idk. But she was there with us. It seems like she was out teacher. Idk. And put back to sleep. Before that, there was also somewhere in the dream, there was a baby, idk if this baby is either my now nephew or my brother when he was young, but this baby want milk. So I was about to buy it. It got mixed. (With that other person collecting money) Before this, I saw all of the good milk that I wanna buy, but after all those heavy backpack dreams, when I went back, that store had changed a little. And that teacher was in the scene, calling us to eat. And when I looked for all the good drinks, only the things that I don't want was left. There no more all of the good drinks I've seen earlier. So I went back up after a while staying down with that heavy backpack. (That scene with that guy around witnessing ) . So what does this dream mean? - Below are the things I write a while ago -

Weird, indeed. Weird. I dream again, of this heavy backpack. But it wasn't the main thing/focus. I went to a lot of places . I don't know. Inside a *huge* "building" (as I don't know what to call it) , (there are many more scenes before this, but I started when I went to this escalator, inside what seemingly like a huge building that is all interconnected. {There's an amusement park too, and a living space, and a mall etc. was there school too? I don't know.} I went to this escalator there's four of it , and beside (it) there was a corner shop/the last shop or the shop at the end. I remember that this part is connected to a living space. Like a residential. And I went inside this shop. There were things that I have bought before. (I am still carrying a heavy bag) And I thought I wanna buy more. Of the same thing like I bought before. I only went in , and then out. Without buying anything . I plan to do in the future but not now. And while I'm halfway in this shop, there is a lady who saw me , and maybe she knows I'm tired or something. Or maybe I looked tired. But she gave me a snack. Idk and I just take it. Like something I could just eat while walking. Idk. And I went out. Back down to the escalator, and people are looking at me. Idk. And I went to this one thing which seems like an amusement park. It seems like it brings me back to 2007 when I had this experience with my cousins and all. But before I went in , I looked from outside as if I'm watching everything unfold. It seems like quite a memories. Like a brown film? Idk. But I saw that one of my cousin is pursuing their dreams. I saw them working hard in this thing or are really into it. And I was about to get into this experience. (It was almost like being in a haunted house? But because I know it was just their creations, I wasn't afraid. But it was thrilling nevertheless.) One of them are doing horse riding. I still had my heavy bag, and I was filming everything, I had a camera with stabilizers and I just have to go through this course (going straight until the end avoiding all of the ghost that are meant to move horizontally across your path) idk. They will only move like that. If you hit it, they will chase you. And there are a lot of types of ghost. The last one was actually a lion. Which I did accidentally hit. (Yo) And I was chased by it. It was the last one and I remember running away from it. There was water around too. Along the path. Like a puddle. And I was running from this lion and I passed the course/test. (Or whatever this amusement park/haunted house is) . And then there is a switch , there is also people chasing you on the road. Motorcycles. Like they're chasing you. There's many. And I passed this too. But others or those behind me didn't . Like another session. Others. There are people who didn't pass it. I wonder what this dream was about. Before that there was scenes of me and my mom and my father and some high school friend and others. I don't know. All of those others are after I had separated from my mom etc. like walking and see some people I know/recognized. Idk. Maybe, what I bought isn't important btw. I never open it.

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Today, I hadn't eat for almost three days. Yesterday I hadn't eat at all or drink. So today I made some chocolate drink. And I think I would want to eat. But idk. I reheat yesterday's dish and it wasn't fresh anymore. It felt rotten (giant 🦐) so I throw it away. And so, I eat whatever fruit that is in the fridge. Last night I was thinking of all the things that I wanna eat. Of course all of the good food. To fill my stomach after having not eat for a while.

It wasn't me who cut this ties of fam . It was them who started it firs crossing the boundaries. By stealing my things. So I'm not practicing it either. They started it first.

There had been many guys who had appeared in my dream these few days.

I dream of this baby again : My baby nephew. And I was taking care of it. And a guy is looking at me from a far. Previously, he was in my dream too. And we’re over. And then, I dream of my sisters and my aunt. Both of them are older sisters. Older than me. And in this dream. It had to do with the university ceremony . Idk. Both of them are the top students, like one of the best. And they are continuing their studies. And my oldest sister told me like how, to be successful/ to graduate. Basically they are doing well in this area and my aunt was visiting/going to this ceremony. I didn’t graduate. I am no best student. It’s true that I went to this university because of their influence too. But I didn’t graduate. It is my choice too. I didn’t attend some classes and some final examinations. So it was partially because of myself too. And so , this dream ends. While they could further their studies/going to the next stage, I couldn’t, because I didn’t graduate,

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though..

Idk… i still feel disgusted by the food..

Today is the first time that my dreams doesn't bother me. That I forgot it. As if it is insignificant. (4AM) There was a lot of people coming to my house. The air felt different even though , every other day I turn the AC. And I can't exactly remember my dream. Though I know. Faintly. I just get out of it. I didn't pull the blinds down. Even the day before I still got bad dreams. Yk when someone you didn't want get into your dream? I did two things which I didn't like. It was a bad dream. Yesterday felt like a blessing.

Maybe I should not even mentioned bad things. Or , i will attract it. I have gotten several bad dreams. Like things I wouldn't do. Idk. I don't know what to do.. 😔

I dream that my youngest niece cling to me and she loves me. But it's feeling sad.

A lot of people have read it and left a comment. Thousands maybe. Idk. But today it had been removed. It was about some people, who, was *anally raped* ( I search this on Google to see the real term/ to not be wrong) and was teached by the adults in their group/institution and everyone was doing it. They teach it to kids and are practicing it. And, this group, they said, in the comments, are some big association. Like their network are really big and they have a lot of business , like school, restaurant, mart etc. I don't know. But it is also available in my place, which recently was forced to close by authority because it's dirty . Doesn't meet the standard. And then it opened again. But they said it was this. And we talk about all the places that had its franchise. Like all over. It's everywhere. And these people teach their kids anal sex and their students and raped them. This had been founded by the police yesterday and it was on the news. They had been arrested. And I talk about how their child are no longer good. Their parents / this group of people changes their partners and have mixed child a lot. Exchanging partners. They told me. The people in the comment. So their product are like that. Through that. And many (I think all) practice polygamy. I don't know. Because they also said that these people exchanging their partners with each other's regularly. So these people are deep in darkness. Only now that they have been caught. And their little children are with the police and the adult children and the adults got arrested. And I talk about those kids are no good because their parents are no good. And I also talk about the ones that is near me as some people asked if these exist in our city. They have like a block of commercial area only for their business/franchise. And I said those kids should not be given to us /the police because it was theirs and they are no longer good and it should be their parents responsibility. Nobody would want to be related to them. That's what I said. I said why not the police let them be? In their darkness? Forever until it eat itself and died on its own? Because I surely do not want the police to take those kids. Like they are the product of these rapist and evil people. I don't know. Because they have been deep into their own darkness. If I said it then they might hide it. Maybe I shouldn't have said it.

Well, I only do not eat for like , two days.

It's not worth with all the things that I've lost. I guess.

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I wouldn’t eat my mom’s friend’s food . Should I eat tonight?

That's what I felt when I lost my things. Dying on the streets covered with dust feeling hungry. Don't wanna ever wake up. Covered with dust. People can walk over me. I'm done. I like to be low, and see, people walking. @Asia P Of course it's necessary. But You have to choose the right university for it to be good. @Hojo I do think that a university would grow you. It wasn't just your course it's many other things. But idk.

Maybe I should buy a food delivery.

I don't know , I don't know . (Why I'm writing my dream)