Sabth

Now I'm done travelling. Now I'm home ☺️☺️☺️

5:41PM I am always in a state of missing somewhere. 30May 2023.

What can I do now?

Go to their grave and you will meet them. As for now, I believe that they become nothing. Their death is their end. Nothing more.

And I don't think, I am capable, of doing a degree any longer. So maybe I'll just work. (I get tired easily these day, so a traveling, or a studying, would probably be too far out. ...I'm not as I used to be.)

Life Path Number When I was young, I used to calculate everyone's life path number. My life path number is six. It's accurate. I was also into enneagram & mbti etc. In fact, when I got enrolled into a university, they make this (personality?) test for everyone and categorize you. So I had this one sheet of personality test paper. I think it was the one who measured your openmindedness/conscientiousness/neuroticism etc I used to be an intp throughout high school but it then changed. (Look how long I've been taking these tests.) But my life path number is 6*. *Which is equal to someone I know who is the greatest sage. 9 3 1989. 9 3 27. 9 3 9. 21. 3 (MBTI) It changes within the years and until one year, I can no longer be classified. Nothing fit me. These tests cannot be applied to me cuz I literally don't have a personality anymore. So I couldn't hv any (MBTI or socionics and the like) Calculate your number and add it all. . 26 May 2023 10:29PM - I wish I can shop for more just now. But I shop only for the book. I wish I can shop for other things too. But didn't. Because my hands is full. So I only shop for the book. Anyway, today, I went back reminiscence on old route. Going back. But the difference was, I felt more easily tired now, compared to, back then. Huh? (Am I really getting old?) Or because I'm not used to walking now as compared to back then? Anyway, today I went out. My niece got into an accident and injured her chin. Needed a stitch. Such a scary thing to happen. I felt eery about it though it was a little stitch. .... ?

I don't even know what ambition is anymore.. I would say competitiveness would be one. Always aiming high. I am a middle high performer , that is not too high. If (c)gpa 3.5 and above would be high I would be 3.35.

Every time spent are not wasted.

I'm in the middle of travel and it's really a hard work. I love being home. And it's been a while. So I had a hard time adjusting to travelling again. The purpose was to *Plan well...

I don't understand half of what you're sayin . Today, I'm going on a new journey. Hope everything are well. 7:44AM Wed, 24 May 2023

I used to

I value, self love. That's all I can care about now. "Both my pet died". I'm not free. I couldn't commit to the things I value. Any type of freedom I am not free. Very much thing I value had been destroyed. Everything that was under the care of my household, died. (Cats) idk. Someone told me. I haven't seen it for myself... Edit : Guess I don't wanna appear weak~~

As the above, the most worthwhile thing to pursue in Life ;

...

I really wanna go to Taeyeon's concert. In Bangkok or wherever it is.. I wanna go.

I wanna be religious. 1 day 1 (nvm I already did this before .) ... Something that I used to write in my lost book : Ideal man : sado & psychic.

Try a bunch of jobs. Ok I will try that..

R u gay? Hehe. I miss the time when I would pack my things last minute to go to the university after a break. I would do it truly in the last minute. Now I would pack my things too... But not to my university.. the destination is not to a university... So it felt a bit weird.. I'm just going anywhere for nothing.

:)

Idk. ... Is it important for me, to hv a degree? I shall start working soon.

I'm not currently working and didn't have university. I'm really, clueless, as to what to do now.

I feel like I wanna live in a place where the nature is amazing. There's no such thing in my country. Everything was green....

Why would they cry? The characters in my dream.......

@Leo Gura are you human? What is human? Am I human? There was a time when I could feel someone from block away. But because I was scared of it, I run/went away. It was the most precious someone in my life at a given moment.

I'm even scared to apply for a job.