Sabth

I just wish I can do my things quietly. And see how much I made doing all those. While I'm thinking of all the works that I can do, investment would be a good thing.

I don't even know where to play my skates. I've always imagined , if I have a car I can just pick up my skates and went somewhere skating. Right now, I don't have anyone to bring me to skate. So it was not put to good use. I haven't played it for long. The condition aren't as good as when I first bought it too. So I can't really resell it either. It was actually quite big . Fit me but just heavy. A little heavy. I used to be able to handle it well. Even going down hill. But now I have a lot of fears. I want to wear safety gears. Check out powerslidemegacruiser's listings on #Carousell https://carousell.app.link/ipcCsdoRqDb This link is back then, I wanna sell it because of the size and I want to buy the smaller size. But didn't. It wasn't successful. I even already had someone who wants to buy it. But it just won't do. I can't remember why. Now this skates are no longer available. I remember back then there was a time when they sell it a lot. With different sizes and was even cheaper than what I bought. But I didn't change it. So it wasn't successful. I love this skate too much that now I don't want to sell it. Only if there's the same thing in a smaller size available in store. Only then. I will sell this. After I tried the sizes.

Because that is the RIGHT path. There's nothing that it can go wrong with. Math is right. Unlike creative work and design. Which can go wrong in many ways. Should I consider a degree in math or accountancy? I used to get 100 back then in school/A+. Math is easy (with practice) while add math is a little harder. Can I just do this and have a career in this? My life would be totally sober doing math.

I feel like I am wasting my time. I am still not adulting. I still couldn't drive and not learn driving. Even though I have free time. But I am not practicing. Time is running out. There's nobody to teach me driving. Because there is no need for me to go anywhere. I will continue be like this till whenever. I think I want my own car. And so I can learn driving by myself. Everyday. If I took a degree I would be a 30year old who have a degree. If I don't then my mind would be empty. Not knowledgeable. I will increase in age. While being empty. My time is running out. I also want to spend time with my parents. I want to travel. A lot. But now I'm stuck.

I'm into film making and videography :)?

He's working with a tourism industry and have been to a lot of places. All over the world. (Europe & Asia) Even the middle East, he had gone to way more country than me. Maybe it's the perks of being a guy. But he also works in tourism industry. I feel behind. Cuz I'm not working. And he has travelled a lot. How can I do better? I don't even have a career. Is it because I'm a female? Or because I didn't complete my degree?

I'm not really wanna go this tourism route. I'm just saying that it was my brother's thing/path.

Another drone that is available in store now is DJI mini 3 Pro. But I kinda think that it's too big for my taste for me to carry around everywhere so I opt for the smaller one. But idk. Yea.

I really feel like I want to work. So that I can be financially independent and can buy gifts for my parents.

There are some really cheap and small drone. Which I can bring with me everywhere even while hiking. All DJI. DJI Tello or Spark. I'm not a professional so I wouldn't need a massive drone. These two will do. For perspective. I think it will be good.

I am using this song but it has copyright so the video can't be played.

Rate my video. This is what I took within Feb 2018-August 2018. There's more but this is just some few. What do you think of this video? What do you think of my life within this timespan? Idk if the music is okay. And it's a long video. Judge my vid. Tell me what you think. *I wish I can do this forever but this app can no longer be able to create such four videos in one frame. Once it had been updated. Since then, I stopped making such video. I wish there are apps that can take four videos at once.

This is my life in 2021-2022 I just bought Samsung so I tried many filter.

I haven't start working. Today I wanna buy a new shoes. For gym/hiking etc. But my mom said she wanna rest today she's tired from yesterday night. So maybe tomorrow. Even though this is really old (an old profession. Old fashioned) I am considering on becoming a stewardess. Idk.

I can't sleep, it's already 7:21AM

I don't feel like an aunt. My career progress...

It's 3:17AM now. Now my room is already a mess from the toys of the kids. Full of it everywhere. It's time for the other generations. With little kids coming to my house. They are playing hard last night. Leaving a mess. It used to be just us. Now it's time for the other generations. But I still had no kids. My life aren't fulfilled yet. Right now. My needs aren't met. So how can I , or we, focus on kids? But they are already born in this world. So we got no choice. There's no avoiding it. They are growing. They are already here. The kids. With their voices last night. It reminds me of my childhood. But now I no longer able to play. It's their time now. Sometimes I feel like they are growing too fast. Or they came into this world too fast. I'm already an aunt. I wanna play still. But I couldn't do that. I'm already another generation. I'm "old". But I still am not done with life yet. I still have a lot of needs that aren't met. I should be growing into an adult. I should be focusing on my career and work/studies. I should be an independent adult now. Buy I'm still just an incapable aunt. Right now. I'm still a child. I should be focusing on my career now. And have a lot of freedom. If I graduated back then. Others are even getting married. So now I feel like I'm still a child but these new generation are already here and they are growing. So am I supposed to have a child too? Is that my stage of life now? I refuse to admit. But is that where I'm supposed to be? To have kids? But I don't wanna end my bachelor yet. To be a mother. Entering motherhood. I don't wanna be that just yet. I still wanna do a lot. But I'm stuck. There's a lot I wanna do. Oh it was totally a mess yesterday. Are we too close (our age gap) that's why I feel like this? I'm twenty seven and the kids are 5years old and below. Am I too young? It feels like.. Suddenly our house are full of kids. Suddenly it's their "turn". Suddenly were full. I'm not ready to be an "aunt" just yet. Maybe if I complete my degree back then my life would have been different. I would be a proper adult now. Maybe in 2021 I completed my degree. And then I would have started working. By now I'm already stabilized. But then, Huh?

I have no memories of 90s . 2000 yes. I was in the middle east growing up fine. It was fun. I had a good childhood. But things aren't so good when I came here. It's not totally not good but I have always yearn to return back to my childhood place. That's the memories that I remember.

I am so bored right now. I didn't look for work. It's weird. To wake up in the morning and ask my mom to bring me somewhere to look for work. It's so weird. I just can't do it with my mom. It's just so weird. It needs to be with somebody else. This is not for her . It's so weird. We could go shopping together though. So comparing things to the 80s and now, my mom and all her siblings studied overseas. It's common. And she had done the bigger pilgrimage at a young age. With her parents. Which we (me and my siblings) never did. We only do the smaller pilgrimage a few times. So idk who lives a better life. And my grandma had her own house apart from the one that she shares with my grandfather. Had her own work and was pretty successful. Which my mom didn't have. It's so weird. She stop working when having her first newborn. Forever.

These are some of the pictures from back then. Do you think they have a better life than us now?

@Raze https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/math-degrees

I wanna get a gym membership it's cheap. And near. I wanna get trained. But my mom wouldn't allow me to go to a mixed gender gym. I will.

I just rewatch an old movie ? and it was so funny. I only remember something from 2007 but this movie, is 2003. My parents used to watch it before. (In 2007 my parent watch it too but this one, is older) I don't remember it anymore. Just so little. *I'm rewatching old movies and dramas.

I want to buy a drone and a camera now.

Work that I can do. I've been looking at the local job offers on the internet, but there's nothing that would suit me. Or it is faraway. (My mom would hv to sent me everyday and take me back) I really don't know how or where to start working. There's a lot of online job whether it's part time or full time. But these too, I couldn't do. Do I need training? Do I need education first?