Sabth

I dream that I was holding a lot of money and then going to a bank to put my money in bank. Then, then , I forgot the password . I go with mom and I asked her the password. And somehow she didn't remember too. Or she said she didn't used that card anymore that card didn't workin anymore. So I am still holding a lot of money on my hand. And then I was alone. I was left at the bank. There was an ATM over an ATM. And none of it work for me. Until it was a bit late. I want to create a new bank account. Rhb. (I used to use Maybank) but I want to create rhb. And I looked inside my bag? Looking for my bank cards but found pictures of my sister and grandfather instead. And me. There was none bank cards. Idk. And things are getting late. By this time I was alone. Mom no longer here. And the shop/bank was crowded. I'm still holding my bulk of money. And it was after 7pm passed the working hour. The lady told me she's gonna create my account. Then they have a lunch (or dinner) together because it has passed the working hour. I don't know. I've been here since the evening. It's late already. And suddenly it's raining heavily. I got soaked by rainwater. Still holding my money. Some of it falls. I don't know. Idk what's happening. Then I ended up going back holding all my money being soaked in rainwater. In real life I had forgotten my bank (online) bank password too. And my phone number has becomes deactivated. I still haven't bought a new number. This thing had happened a lot to me. Because I call nobody I didn't use this service. So my phone got deactivated without me knowing. I didn't top up money in it. I use a wifi. I only topup when travelling. So the last time I realized it when I was travelling. I am so bad. And I met an old friend and she talked to me. Everything was weird. I don't know..

People will look at me weirdly if i walk in this neighborhood. Its not something that people do. i only walk/jog twice in this neighbourhood years ago. a park is faraway. There is no place for me to skate . A stadium is also faraway. its not in a walking distance. Only by car. Over a decade ago, i live in a house that has a plenty of space to skate and a swimming pool and a gym too. That was the last time that i skate everyday after school. But after we move houses, i no longer had a place to skate. And then we move house again. This place are no better. i dont know.

I only wanna do long run and jog. These are the only things that I feel like makes a difference.

A treadmill is expensive. I'm just afraid that I will grow old without doing anything. And having a weaker body as I get older. No longer suitable for physical activities. I have already regretted not skating much more when I was younger. (And not travelling more) Now I'm getting older. All these comments aren't helping me. Today I want to jog but my mom was sleeping early morning. I'm tired of this life. I'm tired of getting older. My mom are obese and fat and old. I don't wanna have a routine like my mom or like an older people. But I'm not living with anyone else. This is not what my body was supposed to do. I wish I was working and driving. (She's not working )

Something like this? Of course I could afford it. But I'd rather have a treadmill.

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I don't know how many much time more I should do this prayer for it to work.

No. I used to be good in school and university (above average) but I'm not really good socially.

Idk I don't think anything is happening.

I have done this prayer 3 times in the span of four days.

I think cycle would be the same as driving a car. Both would be dangerous. I don't feel confident to cycle (though I've done this once before with others). I'm not confident to cycle alone. And to drive. Yesterday and the day before my mom have wanted to drive me to the park but it's raining. So we couldn't go. Today it's not raining but we didn't go. It's already 9:30AM so maybe later when I feel like to. If my mom want to. I hv to move in order for my body not to ache.

I felt my body hurt again when I wake up at 2AM. I just wish that I was fit. And not heavy. If I was in a different place, I could take public transport. But there's no public transport where I live.

I kept on dreaming about my younger brother and my younger sister in law. 2:49AM

@SeekingLove24 I'm not unhealthy. I'm very healthy. But I want to be athletic. I want to have a body of a model. As for my body hurting, it was because I don't make a lot of movement, so whenever I woke up and feel energetic and wanna run, I couldn't. It felt like my body is not being used. So I became weaker. When I could have trained harder. I just wish I can go out every morning.

Today I'm doing a prayer that is going to make my lost things found. Many people say it works. So I learned how to do it and make this prayer. So I will see whether it works or not. It has been a long while though. This thing had not just happened. So.. idk. I will see. They said it will be returned back to you. If it was not destroyed. 5:27AM

I only like Taeyeon in kpop. It's something that I listened to since I was young. Ever since she released her solo. I love her songs we had a lot of synchronicity. You could say that it was GOD. And this forum was not even important to me. I have always had a bank account . I buy groceries with my mom and I can cook if I wanted to. But I have to look at a YouTube video or something. I remember back then when I was a student, cooking is just not my job. I'm into other things. Eating was not even that important to me. I eat just for the sake of eating. But it's not something that I find a big part of my life. So if anything I only make a salad. I have lived away from my family when I was eighteen throughout early twenties. It wasn't easy, it was hard I miss my family a lot. Now that I have stayed with them for a few years more, I think maybe it's time for me to live alone again. I feel like I grew out this place finding some things annoying. I used ChatGPT to ask how to make money but after sometime, found their answers are very generic. They couldn't give me a satisfying answers. It's something that you could find out of the internet. Cooking, is not my thing. Idk how to pay tax or either the Islamic version of alms giving. Well, I think maybe because I don't make my own money yet. I think I skipped it for a few years when I tried to be independent from my parents . Otherwise they do it for me . @jimwell

No I've seen in a lot of people's lives , once they get passed 33 they are no longer good. Or no longer attractive. They should have already had at least 3 children or the last age for marriage (ideal) is 33. I have seen a lot of men who lose their attractiveness once they've reached 34.

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In life path number, it was called the master numbers. 11,22 & 33. I do think that 33 is a special number. It's good if you get married at 33. If you're a male. https://www.numerology.com/articles/your-numerology-chart/life-path-number-meanings/

Should I focus my attention on finishing my studies? But I didn't know how to do that. I got a dream about it this night. And it felt alright. I'm worried about myself being old.

Ah I also dreamed of my grandfather. He's one of the teacher. And my cousins was there. Me and her. And my grandfather told me to be nice to an orphan. Or to treat an orphan nicely. And my cousin was an orphan.. their father died when they are really young. So my grandfather told me that we should treat orphans nicely. That's why he's treating them nicely. And idk. I can't remember this dream well...

4:29AM | Tue | December 19 I dreamed that I was completing my school, at a slightly old age. But everyone was in it. It was like a mixture of high school and university. My high school teachers was there teaching us. And I noticed some faces that I recognized. My roommate, my 13/14 year old classmate. I don't know. And the place... It was a mixture of everything. I have two books that I'm studying. A teacher that know. Signing my work. And... It was just a sad thing somehow. I don't know. I met all these people. And we're studying together. At a slightly old age . I remembered my hair in that dream was quite messy and I tried to make it okay with my hand and it was quite short. Like 2013. I don't know. I just felt good that I am finishing my studies again. And completing what I hadn't. Accompanied by people I know. She's a good friend. I felt comfortable with her. And I saw a guy classmate. Wearing a traditional clothes. Probably for the final project. I saw some familiar faces. And I was doing fine. Maybe this is my wish. If I could. But nah nvm.

I don't know. My grandfather is way above 84years. And we lose counts of his age by the time he reached 90s. It's true that by certain age , you'll got wisdom and become wiser. Or enlightened. A special age will be : 11 33 40 And maybe 22? All of these ages you will get something special on these ages. Everyone in heaven will be forever 33. Jesus died when he was 33. I think it was a special age. When you hit 40 your life would be completed.

My attention had been in ..... Taeyeon. And it's all pleasing so I see nothings wrong with it. Then I'm thinking of having a great body like Taeyeon too~

I'm starting to feel lonely.