Sabth

My parents arent home these few days I want a roberto cavalli..

. I AM NOT ! I AM S.A.B.T.H. that's my real name. I am just writing my dream mindlessly. As a record. Don't mind me. 🙂

From nothing. Any ideas? I need around $30k now.

[ Success. I only want success now. I dreamed of my bully today. I don't know why. It has been such a long time. But we're given a task and we all got competitive. And there was a person who are higher than me in age (but we're given the same task). We do it in groups. Idk. I just don't feel good about it. She's my sister's friend. My sister is 3years older than me she was a master student and she had worked. Way more experienced than me. There's no way I would win this. And in that dream she was paying close attention to me. So that I wouldn't go higher than her. This dream is just not so good feeling. I was walking in a carpark. There was a lift. In the middle of the night. There was other students as well. We all wanted to go to level 3. Idk. Idk what is wrong with this dream. I dreamed of my school which is both christian and Muslims. And when we ate together, I ended up getting the smallest plate so it was hard to eat. Before that I fight with my sister's friend (yes that same person) for space. Idk why I got all these dreams. She do talk about me to her friends. I don't feel safe when my existence is known. We went to the same university but take different courses and I was undergraduate while they're being postgraduate. I don't end up graduating while they all graduate (like everyone else would)I got distracted a lot. In fact my sister even asked me to sent her assignment to her lecturers a lot. that I went to meet her lecturers. I don't know. I've run errands some time. I took her graduation outfit. And bought it all the way home. When I was more of an adult, I guess it was all wrong. She should have done it herself. Anyway with this guy who is my bully, idk what he wants or what he's up to. or what he didn't want me to achieve /to be. We're still not friend in that dream. It seems like he was scared of something. And then I saw many people who do cool arts. (The task). ]

Andrew Tate have children. A lot of it. I remember once thinking that he should at least have a child if he was going to die from cancer. (I thought it was true.) But he already had children. A lot of it. I saw his tweet about his daughters. It's weird. Its really weird when I see that he doesn't have Instagram. He only have twitter. So there's not much information about him when I first know his name.

I wish I would buy some shoes a lot. There are a lot of shoes that I like in the past that had been discontinued. I wish I buy it a lot back then. You don't find such good looking shoes anymore. I would also want to buy my back then camera but it has been discontinued. I don't like newer versions very much because I have to learn how to use it all over again.

Even my clothes are missing a lot. Sometimes a clothe is just high quality and have a memorial value to it. That ive been used for long and have many memories in it. That I just love . But it went missing. I don't know. It was either in my house or my grandparents house. Never anywhere else. But then it's missing. I don't know where it goes. I love some of my clothes so much. One is when I went to mecca I'm wearing it. Then another, some of the highest quality and traditional clothes I've ever had. I don't anything like it anymore. I love it and I use it a lot. But now it's missing. 😔

I only talk to my family member as for now. I could fake it very well if my life hangs on it. The last time that I socialize with strangers is when I was in the mental hospital last year. I hate that hospital so much, but for survival purposes I thought that I should be kind. It kinda reminds me of a few years back. It's how I treated everyone in my university. I became extroverted and charming. I guess. But... It's a front. I am not usually like that. The way I treated the doctors and the nurses and others. Idk. I even think that the doctor likes me as he was flustered when he first saw me. There was a three young doctors two girls and 1 guy. Both are like students that's just graduated I think. So it felt like my friends from university from years ago. I don't want them to think me crazy so I do compromise. Sometimes I wonder if I should just kept my mouth shut and treat them like enemies. Cuz they then described me as having a schizophrenia. Lol. It was a lie. I told them that I hate the speaker from the mosque next to my house and they said I heard voices in my head. I never heard voices in my head. I'm not schizophrenic. But these people diagnosed me being schizophrenic. If I don't tell you anything then you'll be shit nothing. I don't need these doctors. It's a shit situation. And they write everything's that s ever come out of my mouth. They seems very amateur. I hate it. I even thought that they are too young to be a doctor. But well I'm not complaining. They are evil. These are the kind of people who would tied others to their bed. And threaten. And force others. I think a hospital is a terrible place and it shouldn't exist. It was just fucked up. I didn't do any wrong . In fact, my things are stolen at home when I was forced into the hospital. It's really fucked up. They hv been wanting to get into my wealth for long I guess. It's soo fucked up. And they do me ect. I just think that my whole body are fucked up now and never be the same. I am always on alert mode to my surrounding I never lose my consciousness ever. But they made me lose my consciousness 6/8 times in two weeks. And they want me to clear my memories. I didn't want it. It was done without my will. I hate them so much. I am already spoilt and ruined. I hate my life. I am no longer the same. I had been touched by a lot of people. Disgusting.

I'm really bored of doing nothing. Should I get back into universities? I wake up, and do nothing. I just sleep, and rarely eat, and was just in my room doing nothing. I didn't hv any other activities. I couldn't drive. I couldn't go outside.

I can suggest you a lot of skincare routine, and biotin gummies for a healthier you.

Nothings feels better than having your life together. Why couldn't I graduate within 3years on time? Why couldn't I work as soon as I graduate, and then further my steps into greater things. Why couldn't I be normal living like others? Why do I have to fail many times? Others have greater life's than me. Why couldn't I work at my state and have a footing here? I've been living here for ages but never worked. Never make any money. And so I can't return back to where I belong. I feel really bad with my life right now. I also wanna return to Dubai Oman Yemen. It was a great memories. But such a short trip. I feel bad about it. I wanna return. But couldn't . I love the middle east so much.

Unless if I'm rich , I think I would have had wasted my times. All the things that I could have done, if I'm rich. Travelling Making a lot of videos Working out/skating. If only I'm rich. I had lot of things I wanna do while I'm young. But I'm not rich. As of now, I don't even have a good education. So I can't have a career. And I'm forever stuck. I don't know what to do. I wanna hike too when I was young. But all these needs money. And I didn't know how to make money. Despite being old. @Thought Art maybe it has to do with me being a Muslim girl? But back then , when I was in a university I do go out a lot , I shop a lot and went to use a public transportation a lot. I really do enjoy those times. If I were to live in that state again (maybe find an apartment in the middle of the city and work there) maybe I could have been more free. But I can't do that in my state. And my parents used to not let me drive when I was able to (already got a license) they'd rather had that car parked and unused for months or even years, until they bring this car back to this state and they use it. I never drive a car. For real. While everyone else had. My sister's and my young bros. They have drive a car.

I can't believe that 2014 was 10 years ago...

Yes . Everyone should have a baby. Or the world would be empty.

Gervontaa recently became a Muslim.

I feel like January is really bad. I want it to be forever December. Forever a festive season and winter. But well... New Year~ Now we start all over again. Everything are meaningless . You're only getting older.

As the title say.

You will be older. Really will be older. And wiser. I guess. I love December still. But I'm excited for 2024. Even though I'm getting older. I wanna do a lot of fun stuff. But I don't know. I still don't have money. While getting older . I definitely would not enjoy getting older but time would not stop. I wish I can do things as I wanted for every years that's passing by. Like this year , I just went out of the hospital and my life is doing nothing. I do nothing for the whole of 2023. Maybe relaxing. But I'm truly not doing anything. My stuff are stolen. So I had to live with nothing of my belongings. I change to a new room. And that's it. It felt a little empty. And I do nothing. I keep getting older. While doing nothing. That's only it. I hope in 2024 I will do a lot of things. That's my wish for 2024. Which is in a few hours from now. 10:20PM 12/31/2023

.

New York - 10 Kota Kinabalu - 9 Chevrolet Spark - 9 Dior - 9 Reunited with old friends - 9-10 Working in NY - 8 Working in middle east - 8 Dye my hair - 10 Breeding Betta - 9 There are certain things that I wanted to buy but my mom and my father doesn't have money for that. There are a lot of things. I may consider working in Singapore as they have a higher standard of living and higher salary. But I don't think it is overall would be fun. In that small island. So I hv a lot of wants. Really a lot. But couldn't hv it.

Idk people just do. Maybe because I'm a girl or because this neighbourhood there is no people walking by so I am the only person walking early morning while people going to work (leaving their houses) . Maybe it's weird for me to walk by the roadside. I do this often in other places that aren't mine. But to do it in my place is a little weird.

Happy New Year!

New year for a new room~

How do I make $28k? 🌌🌹🌿❤️