Sabth

I am almost on my "day 10" which means, I am already 10% done. Which is equivalent to 100,000 x. Tomorrow. Let's see what happened.

7:23PM. I don't usually like soup but this is so good. Maybe cuz I was hungry. But it's good. It doesn't taste bland like a "soup"

I feel like I wanna move to x and start my *independent* life there. I am not growing or doing anything at home. There is nobody to teach me driving or working or doing anything. Pretty much anything. At least if I'm in x I can use public transport. And I can look for work and live independently. At least I can learn. Now I am not doing anything. Not growing.

I am so hungry, even though I am not fasting.

I am being sedentary...

I had a fight with my mom in my dream . Throwing a dust at each other.

I really don't know how to make my life's worth it anymore. From now on. For all the things I've lost. I couldn't start a new. That would make me poorer and poorer. I'm 28. 28 years of life. I should have been accumulating a lot by now.

Still having a lot of trauma

Should I move to the next room?

Instead of to marry someone else , only to realize that you love someone else.

I think it is best to get married with someone you really love for your first marriage.

I need to buy slippers for the important rooms.. and in this dream, my sister is giving us $hit. And it's true, after she came back, my father renovated the house so that it could fit us all and it spoiled the original room and house. Despite already being married for seven years (now eight) she still live with us. And I no longer wanna live in my *precious* *girls* room . Because it had been spoilt. A wall had been covered. Making it all bad. Really bad. I no longer like this house. It was destroyed. Back then everything was hell. But I persevere. The renovation was loud for a long time. And I was living in this house. The circulations was spoilt. And there was other married couple in the house besides my parents. It was weird. But I let it be. It was so toxic. My younger days was spoilt. Because of this house. And later my other sister got married. Also living in the same house. But after all those , then they move. After living with my parents for a long time. I wish I had move next to my parents room earlier instead of persevere in my room and had all those experience. But it's already spoilt. I'm already used to it. Back then it was so toxic. But now,

Today I had quite an interesting dream, unlike yesterday like a distressing dream. I saw we are all on a trip. But there are flood. Or it's full of water. But they are a good swimmers. Just like back then. In our childhood. I think they still like each other. Or they are friends. In my dream, all are still walking (in this case, swimming together). I can't swim. I am just the witness or the eyes that see everything. There was also a disturbing thing. My best thing was in my parents room. But only the slippers are dirty. The rest are fine. The other toilet are left (unflushed>< ) and the other, there was my bil. So I don't feel comfortable. And there was horses. And a walk. Idk. It seems like we are all on a family trip. There was something about shoes. Some people are wearing high heels and are galloping like horses, and there was a glass shoes. Which couldn't be wear. It's more like a glasswork than a shoe. And I look at my shoes and the heels are open. I needed a new shoes and upon seeing others thought I would want to wear high heels this time around. There was another thing, someone was editing a really cool video. My dream consisting of this video perspective . It was like a movie. And I wonder, we've come a long way. Now you're editing way cooler than me. It was really do good . Like a real movie. In real life, I don't know . But he's probably was doing better than me. But I don't know . Because we both had lost our camera.

Am I in danger right now?

I dream that I run away from home.

I wish to read more and get "superpower".

.

I still want my things back.

.

3:13AM

2:54AM

Curse be upon those who took my diaries my gold my artworks my academic certificate my bibles my book etc

I've lost my feeling right now. Don't feel anything.

Its only either four of them. My parents, my brother or my sister. (I hv two brothers and two sisters. I'm the middle child. Younger brothers and older sisters. These brother and sister is the middle one, not the youngest or the oldest. )

9:33 AM I still In my dream, I still dream that I'm cursing the people who took my things openly. In front of them.