Sabth

When you are meant to die you will die.

I don't wanna do or accumulate something new here because there is a thief in the house. They might accuse me of being crazy again and put me into a mental hospital and steal everything from me yet again. And I will be left with nothing. Again. Over again. So I might as well start in another place. If I were to do something new. Which I wouldn't.

And that room is at the corner. Surrounded by neighbours. And this room is in the middle. It is slightly isolated. With a backyard away from neighbours. And it is the only room that is in its original state. Not renovated.

I'm imagining all the things that I wanna buy, it wouldn't fit this room. At all. I needed my original room for it to work.

I def can work on my own but I needed to renovate my original room. It's the biggest room. But had been altered. So now I think it needs to be a little different. For me to want to stay in that room . But I don't know. I don't know if my mom would allow it since I have change this room that I'm staying in. I have painted it according to my colour. So if I wanna change back to my room.. And a lot had to be done to that room.

My eyes becomes worser when I read a book. Than if I'm just looking at my phone or doing other stuff.

Well, I have read part 7 of this book : Millionaire fastlane. Well, it's good. But, idk.

My goal But I am so hopeless~

I am blessed with all these songs. back then.

The moment I leave the world Is the moment I get back into my serious mode. For real things to happen.

I use an Acer Then Lenovo And then a custom made PC This is when I lose touch with my intuition. As I said my life is already (or only) crumbling. We had a choice, between two desktop. The case one is small and the other bulkier and bigger. I had always want and like a compact and smallest things , as I was physically not a big person so I like my tools to be small and compact, easier to carry around. But this time, the shop keeper and my mom pressured me to choose the big one. And I was already crumbling , my life, my personality at this time I don't have a strong opinion, so I followed them. And this one that he gave me had a crack on its side. So it was already not good. My life was already bad. Making bad decision. So I have this PC that are not in it's best condition. It has a scratch on the side. I only wish that I would have choose the small PC. And I move places quite a bit so I had to bring this PC travel. So that's it. It's such a big PC. And later my father destroyed the box so I can no longer change it's location . I even thought that I wanna sent it back to the shop. But couldn't because the box had been destroyed. And it doesn't work just fine too. Having a loose wire that it will shut down on its own a lot. Until last year when I brought it to a local shop (not the shop that I buy it from) and the person said that there is nothings wrong with it. He upgraded my PC and suddenly this problem is gone. Weird. But true. It no longer shut down on its own. But I don't use this PC much.

I want more skates more camera more everything. Lol

My life should be upgraded to a newer kind of things. Higher quality everything. Camera laptop etc. Idk. I should have had my art studio. But now.. before even that happened my collections are already stolen.

Idk I should have worked since I was young .

When I get older I no longer use pencil box : This is the last "pencil box" that I have, that I use to put my camera in it. As I no longer needed a pencil box. When its new (2013) Idk I used to be an artist Nah I love film making and photography. But then.... my broken childhood cameras

Some more things from my childhood.

My life should only be richer with age , but

I wanna be surrounded by high quality arts. Original works and achievements. Idk

Reminds me of my childhood.. But these days, I m with these : Idk~ Idk. Am I regressing? I want to have a new camera, new everything. Maybe I should get back a degree. Now that I'm no longer doing anything . I will graduate when I'm 33. 🤭

My life should be as high quality as this pic.

.

There was a drawing that I draw referring to this when I was sixteen. All was stolen in 2022. Ten years later. And I don't have a pic of it. Others I do have. But not all. Only some.😔 And pictures aren't the same as the real thing. 🖤

No but they are so good. At expressing themselves.

Taemin's costume reminds me of myself a year before , when I wear this because I don't have a face mask yet. So I just do whatever ~ When this song came out, it reminds me of myself. 20210518 20200227