Sabth

This time , it would be, like, a year's worth of things.

I just bring reds to my room. A lot of my things are red. Idk. I didn't plan it.

Making the best of my *small* *brother's* room... But now it's my room. I have asked my mom that I wanna change back to my original room but she said after my brother's reception in this state. That's going to be soon, but should I change my room? That's the real question. In that room, a few renovations should be done. For natural lightings. That's the only cons in that room. But I don't know. After the renovation everything are just , dislocated. (Not good). But idk. In that room , the wallpaper for a part of the wall would be $1020. Idk if I like my red room now or that, better.

My face became really good when I'm using this skincare routine , but only when I'm using it. When I wash it off , it became back to normal. So idk. It keeps my skin really hydrated. But I don't know. Because when I'm not using it my face became normal. There is one more skincare that I hadn't buy. The glacier one. And with all these eight things my skin is already too hydrated. Idk if it's necessary to add another one. But that's the step in this routine.

@StarStruck Rab is God. In Arabic.

I went out with my brother and sister past midnight and the whole vibes outside was just creepy. I buy two ice cream . The stores are open but doesn't feel safe.

It's 4:26AM right now. Idk. I got some weird dreams. Now I am contemplating about it all. It was too realistic. And I'm not totally sleeping. But I'm dreaming. At times, I woke up. And the conversations that I had (in my dream) was so real. And the fear that I've felt. It was all too real. I also had a mix of a Chinese drama in my dream. The way it transitions. I don't know. We went out late at night, and it was scary. I don't know. And to get to the point where I'm back at home inside there are so many things happening outside. My sister and the baby is like a comforts waiting for us to be home . Leaving the door unlocked. (I was running away from evils outside). It was too scary. It's a long journey. 4:33AM

I really wanted to work to fill up my time but I didn't know where to start.

..... I really have weird dreams these days. Not a good one. Just weird. And it's not even interesting. I wish my dreams would be revolving around heavens. I wish I can do something that adults can do. Idk. Something that will distinguish me from a child. Idk. I got a weird dream.

Can Korean skincare make my skin really good? I don't feel like so . I just feel like it. Or maybe I had to try it first and see. But I don't feel like it.

I'm afraid that I am not spending time with my family much. Things wouldn't be the same sometime , later.

I made a lot of these :

3:49AM I dreamed of.... I don't know. Being like a Christian missionary riding on a bike on the road. I was afraid. .. it wasn't at all easy. And it seems like the people I'm with is those from my previous high school. And I saw a friend... I'm afraid that she had felt bad with me because sometimes this year or last year, she came to my house at night, and I didn't see her. I was cleaning up my room and I want to take a shower before I met her. But we didn't meet that night. We're actually a neighbour and I was in a upper high school with her. That, I know. We live near. Of course , of course I want to meet her. It's not at all that I don't wanna see her. I just wasn't prepared tht night. But now I'm afraid that she had felt bad about me cuz I don't see her that night. When she came to my house. In my dream I saw her. With my other classmates. Idk. We are on the road riding a bicycle. (I am riding a bike there are many others who walk). And people like us. Idk.. idk what's up with this dream.. should I meet her?

This can only fits the smallest notes , Idk

There is no weird sounds tonight. First , I sleep with the lights on and the air conditioner on. And then I woke up at 3 AM , a little bit late. Not at 2 AM so I am not the first living being to be woken up in the middle of the night. (Unlike the night before. It felt like I am the only one awake). Then I heard the dogs barking. Now this time the dogs is awake. If you wait a little longer , you will hear the chickens somewhere far away. In a distance.

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I tend to sleep until 12 pm because I don't know what to do with my life.

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*censored* . 6:51AM 21 April 2024 *censored* 🦩 ♣️ *censored* 💓 8:18PM 21st April 2024 : I really love last year especially towards the end. It is when Taeyeon's album came out. So when I listen to this song now, it reminds me of those times. It was when my brother got engaged. And we travelled. Those memories. I like it. It reminds me of last year. And I'm eager to have the year end. Because the previous year I couldn't experience it. So I really like last year. I wish I can experience Christmas in New York or something. And celebrate the new year. Even though I didn't , it still feel good. This year? Idk. But I make like a short video, back then , during those moments. So it reminds me of back then. Last year. (I use those songs) So now when I listen to it I remember it again. I like last year. 🖤 Anyway, recently , I saw that x is making a concert tour in Bangkok. And I thought I wanna go (even though I'm not really sure about it. Idk if it's really a concert I would enjoy. Or no) , so I searched all the schedule and the cost of going to Bangkok for this concert. It wouldn't be more than 3k. (If you want a good trip then it would be 3k . If more budgety then ,around 2k. ) And I asked my mom if I could go. I don't have money anyway so I asked my mom if I could go. I don't really feel like I wanna go to this concert yet, because there could be someone better. Like a future concert with x or something. This singer is a little old. So idk. I may like, like his concert in Japan before. Idk if the quality had decreased. Or if it wouldn't be too fun if it's in Bangkok and not Japan.

Back then I feel like I am always being followed. I felt something's presence. It appeared to be louder when I am alone and not with my family (when they are not around). I got this a lot as a child/young kid. I hear breathes a lot. Until I went to a place where there are others. I guess they like young kids because now I no longer had it. Back then I could felt the presence of God ,angels and demons. It just felt like there are other beings other than the seen. The spirit world. But now I no longer felt it. And I used to have a recurrent dream of flying /floating. It was a theme I had throughout childhood and adulthood. But then , I grow out of it.

I wanna live in x.