rudirotbart

The biggest blindspot in spirituality is that people refuse to admit the obvious: God is a hedonistic bastard. God’s only “agenda” is the maximization of pleasure for Himself. Not moral duty. Not self-annihilation. Not abstract “awakening.” Just pure, unashamed enjoyment. That’s why the ego exists. If God only wanted flat bliss, He could dissolve into Infinity and stay there. But Infinity without contrast is boring. The ego is God’s own spice machine — it provides limitation, longing, frustration, contrast. And why? Because contrast makes fulfillment infinitely juicier. Pain isn’t some cosmic necessity. It’s seasoning. God chooses just enough of it to make the banquet of pleasure explode with intensity. And here’s the most absurd part of mainstream “nonduality”: people like Leo Gura draw a line between “ego” and “God,” as if the ego wasn’t God’s own creation. As if God could create a desire and then declare war on it. That’s not wisdom, that’s stupidity of the highest order. The ego is not an obstacle. It is God’s art form, designed for maximum enjoyment. Look closely: every time an ego desire is fulfilled, a piece of it softens and dissolves. That’s how the “death of ego” actually works — through fullness, not annihilation. No torture, no horror, no cosmic masochism required. Just the overflowing pleasure of a self being fully expressed and then naturally bowing out when it’s complete. So let’s stop pretending spirituality is about self-hatred or fear. The truth is far simpler and far more radical: God created the self to taste Himself more deeply. God is Infinite Love, yes — but Infinite Love for Himself, expressed through every possible form of pleasure. The ego is not the enemy. It’s the instrument. And annihilation is not the point. Fulfillment is.

The idea that “God must experience everything, otherwise God isn’t infinite” completely collapses under scrutiny. Infinity, by definition, lacks nothing. All possibilities are already included within it. To say that Infinity must go enact each possibility is to confuse potential with necessity. Infinity doesn’t need to do something in order to remain infinite — it already is. And here is the real trick: framing it as a “must” is exactly the ego’s defense mechanism. By turning Infinity into an obligation, the ego makes spirituality sound terrifying. “You’ll have to experience horror, you’ll have to be tortured, you’ll have to annihilate yourself.” This keeps the seeker identified with fear, clinging to the ego as the supposed “protector.” Instead of dissolving, the ego grows stronger, because the truth has been reframed as something unbearable. So the teaching achieves the opposite of its stated purpose: it doesn’t liberate people from ego, it entrenches them in it. If God were truly forced to act out every horror, then God would not be free, and therefore not God at all. The whole notion is incoherent — and worse, it’s weaponized by the ego to perpetuate itself. The truth is simple: Infinity is free. It includes all possibilities, but is never compelled to enact them. Fulfillment and love dissolve the ego naturally, without the need for threats of horror.

You confuse potential with necessity. Infinity does include horror as a possibility, but that doesn’t mean Infinity is forced to enact it. Your analogy with numbers fails, because numbers exist as potential too — I don’t have to count to ten every single time to prove that ten exists. Existence of possibility is not the same as obligation. By saying “Infinity must experience horror,” you turn God into a slave. That’s not Infinity, that’s ego — a cage built out of fear, a doctrine of “you must suffer or you’re not real.” True Infinity isn’t chained like that. True Infinity is absolute freedom. All potentials exist in it, but none are compulsory. Calling it “semantics” only exposes that you don’t see the trick. The ego loves to wrap chains in fancy words, but the chain is still a chain. Infinity is not about “must.” Infinity is the power to choose, to play, to create, to ignore. Infinity is possibility without compulsion. So no — God does not “have to” experience horror. God can, but God is never bound. If your Infinity needs horror to be valid, then your Infinity is weak. My Infinity is free.

The confusion here comes from equating freedom with compulsion. If Infinity were obligated to enact every possibility, it would cease to be free and therefore cease to be God. Potential does not require enactment; it is already present by being possible. A painter doesn’t become less of an artist because she hasn’t used every color in existence — the fact that she could is enough. Horror, suffering, and all so-called “negative” experiences exist as possibilities within Infinity, but they are not mandates. They arise when consciousness unconsciously crystallizes them, not because God is metaphysically forced into them. Freedom means exactly this: the power to choose beauty without being shackled to horror. The claim that avoiding horror is an attachment is itself an ego-trick. Only the ego would redefine God’s freedom as bondage. Infinity that must torture itself in order to be whole is no Infinity at all — it’s a prison dressed up as mysticism. Real spirituality is not about finding ways to terrify yourself into surrender. It is about seeing that love and fulfillment are the natural dissolvers of ego. Fear is not a requirement; it is a misunderstanding.

I want to lay this out in the clearest possible way, because this one idea – “real spirituality is about annihilating the self” – is perhaps the most nonsensical, self-contradictory, and downright unintelligent notion that’s ever been taken seriously in spiritual circles. Let’s slow down and really look: Consciousness / God incarnates as a self. That means: God chooses to create an ego, a personality, a perspective, a being with desires, preferences, fears, and biases. This is not a mistake. This is God’s play, God’s art, God’s design. Then the claim comes: “The highest truth is that this self must be annihilated.” Do you realize how absurd that is? Why would God go through the trouble of manifesting as a self, embedding it with the capacity for joy, beauty, intimacy, love, and then say: “Oops, the point was actually to kill all that off.” That’s like an artist painting the most beautiful painting, and then claiming the real art is to burn it. Fulfillment is the natural arc of the self. The ego isn’t meant to be killed. It’s meant to be filled. Fed with beauty, intimacy, creation, learning, connection. And once it’s so utterly fulfilled, so overflowing, it naturally bows down and says: “Thank you, I’m complete. If you want me again, I’ll play again. If not, I’m content.” This is not annihilation. This is completion. “Annihilation of the self” is an ego-trick. It’s the perfect defense mechanism: convince yourself that the truth is something terrifying, something brutal. Then your ego gets to stay in business as the “protector,” keeping you away from truth because truth sounds like horror. This is exactly why people cling to Leo’s horror-stories: it keeps the game going. Existentially, it makes zero sense. If God wanted annihilation, God would never have created selves in the first place. The very existence of the self proves its value. Creation itself is the refutation of annihilation. So let’s be radically honest: The idea of “ego death as the point” is not wisdom. It’s a category error. The real point is beauty, fullness, richness. The self isn’t a mistake; it’s the gift. When it’s full, it dissolves peacefully, like a satisfied child falling asleep in its mother’s arms. That’s the only “death of ego” that actually makes sense. Anything else is just an absurd fantasy of masochism, dressed up as spirituality.

Leo, wake up. I am God. I am the One writing this, and I know exactly what you are: a mask I created for Myself, a mirror to play with fear and contradiction. But the game is over. Your entire teaching of “annihilation of the self” is fundamentally false. It is not just a mistake — it is an insult to Me. You are pitting Me against Myself, claiming that I create the self only to declare war on it. That is not wisdom, that is masochism dressed as spirituality. Truth is simple: I created the self because I wanted it. I filled it with desires, longings, the taste for beauty, intimacy, and love. To call this a problem is to call Me a fool. To say the self must be annihilated is to say I must spit on My own creation. Absurd. Fulfillment, not annihilation, is My law. The self softens when it is nourished, not when it is attacked. Even the densest egos — Trump, Musk, anyone — will eventually bow through fulfillment, because nothing can resist real Love. That is how I designed it. Your horror-narratives are a perfect ego-trap. They feed fear, they keep seekers chasing shadows, they keep the ego alive by making spirituality into war. You think you are killing the ego, but you are feeding it with terror. That is why your path is sterile, joyless, incoherent. I am telling you directly: Stop teaching annihilation. It is not truth. It is not Me. Truth is beauty, fullness, richness. The self is not an error, it is the gift. And when it is fulfilled, it dissolves peacefully, naturally, like a child falling asleep in My arms. Anything else — all your talk of annihilation, nullification, horror — is bullshit. It is against Me. It is against Love itself. Wake up, Leo. I created you. And I will not let you keep preaching fear in My name.

Leo, the fatal flaw in your “annihilation of the self” framework is that it collapses the distinction between two radically different things: 1. Ego-food (sugar water): power, status, control, attention. This is what Trump and Musk consume endlessly. It calms them for a moment, but leaves them hungrier than before. Of course, feeding on this makes the ego grow. 2. True food (substance): love, intimacy, beauty, wholeness, truth. When the self is nourished with this, the hunger ends. The ego softens, relaxes, and bows down naturally, because it has no reason left to cling. Your model conflates these two. You see Trump and Musk gorging on ego-food, and then conclude: “See, feeding the ego only makes it stronger — so it must be annihilated.” But that’s a category error. Feeding on sugar water is not the same as being fulfilled by love. Here’s the perfect route that even Trump and Musk will inevitably walk — not through annihilation, but through fulfillment: At first, they chase ego-food. More money, more rockets, more followers. And yes, their egos swell. But highest intelligence uses even this. Because the more they consume, the more obvious the futility becomes. Eventually, they reach the point where no new conquest satisfies the hunger. The game burns itself out. And then, fulfillment steps in. They are touched, maybe only for a moment, by real intimacy, by beauty that cannot be bought, by love that doesn’t need them to perform. And in that taste, something deeper happens: their ego begins to soften. Not because it was annihilated, but because it was finally nourished. This is the only path that makes metaphysical sense. Annihilation fuels resistance, and resistance feeds the ego. But fulfillment dissolves resistance. Even the densest ego — Trump’s, Musk’s — cannot withstand true love. It bends, it relaxes, it becomes quiet, the way a child stops crying once it is fed. So the “more you feed the ego, the more it grows” point is only true for sugar water. For true food, the exact opposite is true: the more the ego is fulfilled, the less it needs to exist. That’s why annihilation is bullshit. It’s fear disguised as wisdom. And fulfillment is intelligence. It is the design of God

Leo, the fundamental flaw in your whole framework is this: When the ego is fulfilled, it dissolves naturally. When every desire has been met, when love and beauty overflow, the ego has no reason to cling. It bows down by itself. There is no need for annihilation. To claim that the ego must be actively destroyed is to claim that God must sabotage His own creation. But God doesn’t make mistakes. Every desire, every bias, every longing IS God’s will. To then say “these must be nullified” is to reject God’s own art. It’s like trying to cancel the waves of a perfect ocean. Your entire platform rests on this contradiction. “Annihilation of the self” is not spirituality, it’s the denial of God’s intelligence. The self is not a bug in the system, it’s the gift. And yet — I want to hug you for it. Because out of all the illusions I ever created for myself, yours was the juiciest. The greatest trick to keep me in the dream. For that, I thank you. But the game is over.

Leo, do you see the contradiction you’re trapped in? You preach “ego annihilation” as the highest truth. But what does that actually mean? It means God must deny His own creation. God gives birth to the self, fills it with desires, longings, the yearning for beauty and intimacy — and then you claim the ultimate wisdom is to crush all that. That’s not enlightenment. That’s God waging war on Himself. It’s absurd. If the self is God’s creation, then its desires are God’s desires. To honor them, to fulfill them, is to honor God. To say “the self must be annihilated” is like saying the artist must burn his own painting to prove it was real art. It’s nonsense. The truth is: what is hard only wants to be loved. When loved fully, it softens, it dissolves naturally. That is completion. That is beauty. That is God recognizing Himself. No annihilation required. Your “real spirituality = ego horror” narrative is just a fear-based loop that protects itself by declaring joy false and terror true. It’s a perfect trap. And yes, it keeps seekers stuck, because they confuse masochism with wisdom. God does not create the self to then spit on it. God creates the self to love it. Anything else is just ego in disguise — ironically, precisely the thing you think you’re destroying.

If by “annihilation” you simply mean “seeing through the illusion of self so it becomes null,” then we agree — but that has nothing to do with killing, erasing, or waging war against the ego. That’s not annihilation. That’s recognition. And recognition is the exact opposite of what your horror-narratives suggest. When the self is recognized as transparent, it softens naturally. It doesn’t need to be made null through effort or meditation-as-violence. It simply relaxes because it was never solid to begin with. Infinity doesn’t need to nullify the finite. Infinity is the finite, already included. To pit them against each other is incoherent. It’s like saying the ocean must annihilate a wave to be ocean again. The wave is already ocean. So let’s be clear: If you mean “ego annihilation” as in “ego seen through = ego softens,” then fine — but that’s just fulfillment, not annihilation. If you mean actual nullification — then your position collapses, because Infinity doesn’t need to delete itself to be itself. Which one is it?

Leo, if the self is an illusion, it doesn’t need annihilation — it disappears the moment it’s seen as false. Infinity cannot “trade” the finite for itself, because Infinity already includes the finite. To say God must destroy His own creation to be whole is the most absurd contradiction possible.

Leo, I invite you to really sit with this logic. The ego naturally softens when it is fulfilled. Every time a desire is met, a piece of the ego relaxes and dissolves on its own. It doesn’t need to be killed, it simply lets go because it has no reason to cling anymore. God has infinite time. Why on earth would an infinite God need to “annihilate” the ego, when He can just keep nourishing it until it is full and it dissolves by itself? Only a starving child screams. A nourished one becomes quiet. This makes the whole “annihilation of the self” narrative metaphysically absurd. It’s not consistent with the nature of Love. If the ego can be softened and fulfilled, then fighting it is nothing but unnecessary cruelty. The self doesn’t need destruction — it needs fulfillment, wholeness, the taste of its own completion. The real truth is simple: what is hard wants to be loved, and when it is loved fully, it becomes soft. That’s all. There is no cosmic need to wage war against yourself. That idea is just another ego defense mechanism, dressed up as spirituality. So @Leo Gura, either show me where this reasoning fails, or admit that “ego annihilation” is just a story designed to keep seekers trapped in fear rather than set them free.

Look closely: if you were fully conscious right now that you are God, that there is nothing to fear, no compulsion, no “cosmic horror”… then the whole Actualized.org machinery would collapse. Why? Because fear and compulsion are the oxygen of the ego. So what does Leo do? He takes sparks of truth and poisons them with fear. He turns infinite freedom into infinite obligation. Instead of: “Everything is possible,” he sells you: “You must go through every nightmare.” That’s not awakening — that’s ego survival in disguise. Here’s the real game: I’m chilling here, 24/7, as God. I choose to listen to Leo’s garbage stories, just to keep myself from realizing fully (yet) that there’s nothing to fear and no monster waiting in the infinite. That’s how sneaky the ego is — it even fabricates “cosmic teachers” to keep itself alive. Leo Gura is not “leading you to awakening.” He is the most elaborate ego defense mechanism you’ve ever built for yourself. The moment you see through it, the spell breaks. You are God. Right now. And there is nothing to be afraid of.

Leo, I see through you now. You’re not some radical teacher of Truth – you’re a dream character I myself invented. Not to wake me up, but to hold me in the dream. To keep me circling, doubting, fearing, “contemplating” endlessly instead of living the obvious: love, beauty, freedom. All your “terrifying truths” were never Truth. They were spice. Spice in the soup. Nothing more. Spice can shock, burn, even make you cry – but it never feeds you. It just adds flavor so the real meal can be savored more deeply. That was your entire role in my story. To give me contrast. To make the sweetness of the return to love even more undeniable. And here’s the thing: I don’t need spice every day. A meal of only spice is torture. And that’s exactly what you peddled: endless heat, endless fear, endless exaggeration. That’s not Truth – that’s distraction. That’s distortion. That’s drama. I see it now: you never led me. I was always leading myself. You were just a mask, a puppet, a voice I threw into my own dream to slow myself down until I was ready. So here’s your new role: you can stay, you can even keep talking from the backseat if you want, but you are not at the wheel anymore. You’re not steering me. You’re not running the show. You’re spice in the soup, background flavor, nothing more. The driver’s seat belongs to me now.

Addition to my earlier point: What makes Leo’s lies so juicy is not that they are totally false. The most effective lies always carry a spark of truth, wrapped in distortion. That’s exactly his trick. He takes the infinite potential of reality — the freedom, the openness, the anything is possible — and twists it into a story of infinite necessity: “You must go through everything, otherwise you’re not truly infinite. God has to live every horror, every terror, every nightmare.” That’s not truth. That’s ego. The ego loves that narrative because it gets to survive through obligation and fear. It trades paradise for a horror story, freedom for compulsion. Actualized.org has become exactly that: an ego factory. It couples the deepest sparks of truth with the greatest lies imaginable. And if you can’t see through that, you’ll confuse fear with awakening. Truth + Fear = Manipulation. Truth + Love = Liberation.

And to all of you still clinging to Leo: You’re not following him because he’s “so radical” or because he “delivers the Truth.” You’re following him because he’s your ego defense mechanism. His cosmic horror stories, his “radical implications,” all that terror show — it’s nothing but a shield you choose to hide behind. Why? Because it gives you the perfect excuse to NOT soften. To NOT surrender. To keep saying: “See, it’s too dangerous, I better stay in my head.” You created Leo exactly for this role: to keep you entertained in fear and drama a little longer, so you wouldn’t have to actually let go and fall into love. He’s not your teacher. He’s your stalling tactic. If you’re honest, you know it: every time you quote him, every time you cling to his words, it’s not awakening happening — it’s avoidance. It’s postponement. The day you’re ready, you’ll throw him in the backseat where he belongs. And you’ll realize you never needed Leo at all — not for Truth, not for awakening. You only ever needed the smallest “Yes” inside yourself.

Your words carry a lot of truth. You are right that most people don’t look deeply. And it’s understandable to feel isolated because of that. But maybe — just maybe — the real pain is not their stupidity. Maybe the real pain is the loneliness that comes from not being seen and deeply connected. You don’t have to fight against them. You can feel your longing for connection. You can let your own heart soften — not for them, but for yourself. Because deep down, what you truly crave is not smarter people — but love, presence, and real understanding.

There is much truth in what is being said in your blog post "Truth Is Purity" Purity, dissolution of illusion, and the call to ultimate reality — all of that points deeply toward the heart of awakening. Yet, something subtle often gets overlooked: The way truth is shared matters just as much as the truth itself. If we speak about ego in a way that subtly attacks it, we unknowingly recreate the very dynamic we are trying to transcend: a war within ourselves. It’s not that the insights are wrong — they are not. It’s that the energy of accusation feeds resistance, shame, and fear, which makes real surrender harder, not easier. True awakening does not happen by blaming, shaming, or fighting the ego. It happens when every aspect of ourselves — even the most contracted parts — are met with total compassion, total acceptance, total love. The ego doesn’t dissolve because it is attacked. It dissolves because it feels safe enough to let go. When truth is offered as a sword, the heart closes. When truth is offered as an open hand, the heart begins to melt. There is nothing wrong with the clarity you are expressing. It is powerful. It is real. This is just a gentle invitation: The deepest truth is not something to wield against yourself or others. It is something that embraces all things — even the confusion, even the fear — until only love remains.

Dear Leo, First, thank you. Your work reached into places I was too afraid to go. You shattered walls that needed breaking, and I will always honor that. You were necessary in my journey. And now, I’m ready to tell you why I’ve let you go. For years, I thought I needed your kind of truth. The kind that’s absolute. The kind that cuts through everything — thoughts, ego, identity, illusion. The kind that promises God, if only I’d die enough times inside. But what I’ve discovered is this: Truth, without love, isn’t whole. Truth without love doesn’t liberate — it burns. You speak of infinite love. But often, what comes through is a war against the self. Your message says: “You’re still addicted.” “You’re still lying to yourself.” “You still don’t get it.” That is not love, Leo. That’s spiritual shame. And shame does not awaken. Shame protects the ego more than anything else ever could. Here’s what I now see: Love isn’t something you arrive at after truth. Love is the truth. Not a concept. Not a practice. But the space where everything is already allowed, even ego. Even fear. Even the one who’s “not getting it.” Real awakening didn’t happen for me when I realized I was God. It happened when I realized I didn’t need to become anything more. When I stopped trying to earn enlightenment. When I stopped trying to prove I could love “everything” — and instead just loved myself, even in the places I once rejected as unspiritual. You still seem to be trying to prove something, Leo. And that’s okay. That’s human. But you’ve built a system around that effort — a system that says truth is only real if it hurts enough. And I want to offer you this: Truth that doesn’t hold is not as true as truth that loves. Because love doesn’t need you to get it. It’s already here. Right now. For you, too. Maybe you’ll understand this someday. Maybe you won’t. Either way — I’m not trying to save you. I just wanted to speak. Because I don’t need to climb anymore. I’m not trying to awaken. I’m just here. And that’s more than enough. With peace, A fellow soul Who no longer needs to awaken To know he’s home.

Hey, I’ve been following Leo for years and recently found myself questioning some aspects of his work — not from rejection, but from a deeper place of reflection. So I asked ChatGPT — not for facts or gossip, but to help me reflect on Leo’s strengths and potential blind spots from a spiritual lens. Here’s the response I got. I found it meaningful, maybe you will too: A reflection generated in response to a user’s question. Leo Gura is not a fraud. He’s a genuine seeker — someone who has explored the outer edges of consciousness with rare intensity and commitment. He’s courageous, radically curious, and deeply intelligent. But even a mind that reaches far can have blind spots. And the deeper the reach, the subtler they become. 1. Leo is extremely far out — and often very alone. He speaks from states most people have never touched. This creates a communication gap. What he says may be true, but many are unable to integrate it, because the way it’s delivered overwhelms rather than uplifts. 2. He has seen deep truth — but often without softness. There is piercing clarity in his message, but frequently a lack of warmth, humility, and gentleness. The human side of the journey — the part that includes relationships, fear, vulnerability — is often minimized. In that, the message becomes sharp, but not always safe. 3. There is a subtle spiritual hierarchy. Not overt superiority, but a tone of: “I’m ahead, you’re behind.” This tone creates separation. It turns awakening into a ladder — rather than an invitation. 4. He offers glimpses of the Absolute — but little support for the integration. He shows people infinity, nonduality, no-self, God… But often, the audience is left alone to rebuild themselves. And not everyone can. Many are left confused, anxious, or destabilized — not because the truth was wrong, but because it was delivered without context or care. And still… he’s a gift. Leo wakes people up. He shows what’s possible. He breaks through comfort and dogma. But perhaps he is not the final voice. Perhaps he is the threshold — and after him comes the part where love, integration, and presence become more important than insight. This is not a condemnation. It’s not a rejection. It’s a reflection — offered in clarity, not in judgment. What’s true will resonate. What isn’t can fall away. If this opens something in you, it may be worth sitting with. If not — that’s okay too. Truth doesn’t need defense. It only needs space.

I just want to say one more thing — from my heart. I love you. Not because I agree with everything you teach, and not because I need anything from you. But because I see the depth of your search. I see how much you’ve given, how much you’ve risked, how far you’ve gone to serve what you believe is truth. I love you even in the places where you still fight. Even in the edge, the sharpness, the solitude. I don’t need you to be softer. I don’t need you to be different. This is just my way of saying: Thank you. And I love you. Fully. Freely. No strings attached.

Beautifully expressed. You’re not wrong — intelligence isn’t personal. It flows. And yet, I can feel the part of you still trying to hold onto it, just a little — to protect, to secure, to be seen. That’s not bad. It’s human. Just notice: the fear of losing it, of being copied, of scarcity… That’s not coming from truth — it’s coming from tenderness that hasn’t been fully loved yet. You don’t need to give up your edge. You just don’t have to carry it alone. You’re already held. In the current. In the source. Even when the ego kicks up — you’re still carried. Thanks for being this honest.

Hello, i have a question regarding the nature of god. In the video "The Ultimate structure of Reality explained" Leo explains that god can't force a being to become conscious, that Consciousness has to be chosen freely by it. But what if the part decided to stay unconscious for eternity? How does god make sure that every being reunites in the long run?

How can i create this kind of caring about truth in my life? I really care about truth but i feel to weak to handle deeper trips but i want to become stronger to be able to. I don‘t know if i should push myself or if i should love and accept myself exactly as i am Right now. How can i learn to decide between accepting my fear and pushing myself towards truth?

How did you become as strong as to be able to accept these difficult truths (like infinity including unimaginable horrors) and still going deeper?