theleelajoker

You're all looking for a definite answer for death? ☠️ Maybe death isn't fixed but an experience that we can influence with our believe? How cool would that be

Sounds like a great dog hehe 🐕

I also don't know what will happen. But out all all posts in this thread, this one resonated the most with me. I don't think there will be anything left behind when I die. It's like you say, there is only a bubble of experience, and this bubble can be anything. For now it's this life I am living. I had dream last night and at the end of it I became lucid. When that happened in the dream, I started shaking my head, I did not like the dream anymore, and through some instinct I woke myself up from the dream. Where did the world in my dream go? Where are all the characters, all the story of the dream go? Into nothing. Same place all of my dreams go that I dream at night. This one during day is just a little longer then the ones at night I believe same thing will happen when I die. The world will just cease to exist and there will be chance for new creation. Which can be anything. Just as you say. In this dream, and in every other dream, anything that is beyond my current bubble of experiencene is just background story. It gives flair, but it only matters as much as it influences me in the here and now. The possibility for dreaming and changing dreams, and waking up also means: I am still here be because I WANT to be here. And think the criterium for being here is simply: it makes me feel alive. 'God' or whatever you want to call it probably chooses whatever makes it feel alive. That's it. Feeling alive. Fuck good and bad, fuck right and wrong, fuck knowing and understanding. It's about feeling alive and whatever that term means for you/me/us.

Went to a Kirtan few days ago. Whatever the meaning of those Sanskrit words, the singing of some mantras gave me goosebumps and a subtle vibration in my throat. Super interesting stuff.

@theoneandnone Why is solipism a potential "problem" you? If you knew from day one in your life that reality it's like that, then everything would likely be alright, wouldn't it? You would accept the simple fact like you accept that you need to breath, or eat, or sleep. You have never known anything else so it's easy to accept. So what's the problem is not solipism itself, but changing your believe system and your level of acceptance. How can you do that? Well, why did you not have knowledge of solipism starting at day one in your life? It has been there, right in front of you for you whole life! So either you choose not to see it, or you were not able to see it. If it's the first one, you can change your choice. If it's the second one, the fact that you can see it now means that you're ready to realize solipism. Might not be a instant acceptance but a gradual process. For me it did not happen in one day but took about 6 months of integration period. Now I'm more and more at peace and functioning well in life. What helped me most? Being as present as possible. Good luck and have fun!

Great post. Fits lots of experience I either had myself or saw with other guys. This idea of exposure without safety is so true IME. Joe Hudson has a great approach. "Self understanding" instead of "self improvement". My personal approach: Key to retrain your system IME is being present, which requires openness to ANY experience. Once you tell yourself this experience is ok, I feel that emotion instead of avoiding, coping etc you indirectly tell your nervous system "it's safe now - no need to run or to avoid (anymore)." Presence -> Openness -> no resistance -> safety -> window to rewire

I logged in after weeks of being absent just to say that this is a great comment IMO. So on point. Culture creates insecurities with this idea of right and wrong - not only in dating by it in many areas of life. While it's justified in some areas (if you build a bridge, the right way to do it means it's secure, efficient and stable) it's total bullshit in other areas around self expression. Even harmful because you loose the joy of doing things your way , being authentic self. What happens is that you are stuck in thinking and strategizing about results. And you'll always worry about right and wrong and either refrain from action (ruminating) or if you act you'll be unhappy no matter what because you question yourself "OMG did I make a wrong choice? Could I have done better"?

Ok I got the answer without you directly answering it.

I think it is an illusion to believe you can undo it later. You will have your subconscious mechanisms that will give you justifications to act like that and this. OC, you will say "I become so conscious it won't happen, I become so self aware I undo it all". Maybe in theory. Never seen it happen.

Im 90% with @Lyubov Just being around these people, you don't pick up just the valuable information in dealing with people and situations. If you want it or not, you also pick up their energy re morals and ethics. It happens by sheer exposure. IMO, everybody saying "I am immune to that" is BS him/herself. Does not mean you should not learn from those people - just saying it has a price tag that is typically revealed later.

ok get you. In my city, there's a graffiti in a park. Seems to summarize the whole thing quite well IMO: "I think therefore I'm fucked"

Very interesting indeed. And kinda scary.

French are the international standards for measuring the degree of embarrassment. They never feel embarrassed and this is why they are so popular around the world. ( I am joking I agree that it's not a big thing )

Why avoiding the answer? "It's a God forsaken question" is not a reason LOL Why not answering an "easy god forsaken question" yourself? If you feel attacked I don't understand why.

What's the purpose, the intention of asking this question? Is there any answer that will make you happy? Or any information that will help you in some way? Or is it just entertainment? Simply curious...

This perspective I like the most

Interesting stuff

OK so I can't say for your particular case of sexual abuse. Don't know if it's helpful if I just say what helps/ helped me to deal with difficult experiences/ trauma?

For me - in this current phase and state -it's exactly this subtleness. I don't really think about it until there's a situation, a conversation and then there's this subtle return of recognition: Ah, yes. Ah, yes, that again. Alright. Ok yeah I did not think about it, I was in "functioning mode" - but I can't forget entirely"

@shree Not going through the same, but one experience that might be valuable. So few years ago: since a few months, my life was going great, everything seems to fall into place automatically, I was riding a wave of good vibes. Lots of sports, looked and felt as good as never before. I felt like I just need to think about something and then magic happens for me ✨ So I meet this girl, I find her very attractive, she liked me too. After a while, we wanted to have sex at her place. We just started and then her roommate disturbed us (he was into her and jealous) two times. We we're not in the mood for third try. Ok shit happens. Next time we meet in a hotel (I was traveling), we have good time , she's naked in front of me... no boner. I really liked her, I found her very attractive, but...no boner. Very unusual, maybe happened 2-3 times my whole life, especially sober that's very unusual. Ok I am frustrated but shit happens, next time then. So we meet another time, have a good time, same situation. We are in bed, she's ready to go but..no boner. Now I am getting crazy frustrated. AGAIN? WTF is going on? THIS IS NOT NORMAL!!! And at this point I realized what the problem was...and it's very close to what @Princess Arabia wrote: anything can happen and you don't have control. I realized: Things were going so good for me that I became arrogant and thought I have control over life. Especially with girls, even before meeting her, I never had that much success with women before. I took things for granted, became arrogant. So then life puts this beautiful, really nice woman in front of me....and shows me that I control NOTHING. Not even my own dick. Felt like life teaching me a lesson, life humbling me. After this insight, I went away from frustration and towards acceptance. YOU HAVE NO CONTROL. Luckily there's a happy end - fourth time meeting it worked, started with a half-hard dick as I was still in my head because of previous attempts but we had at least mediocre sex lol. Also, it likely played a role that I cared about her more than I did for most others. Which points towards (subconscious) performance pressure as said above. Here's the good news - she did not care about it, we kept seeing each other for a while, the sex got better and it ended for different reasons. Since it has been going on for months re you there's good news: First, you certainly found ways to have fun using other body parts and toys - valuable skill IME Second, she's still with you. Meaning she accepts you as you. Very good news re long term potential IMO. Third: It will pass, pretty sure

I think it's a mechanisms oh reality. For sth to enter your life, it needs to be connected somehow to sth previous. It's not really meaningful per se, the meaning is created by you and not in the event itself. A guy once wrote here "reality is a simulation created around you" - that's a good description IME. I attached meaning to it in the past, now I do it less and less and just see it as a mechanic reflection and connection to other stuff in my life.

At first I voted "don't know". Then I started typing the reasons for my vote. After a while I realized it's "yes" and changed my vote. Compared to some months or years ago, there are situations where I can't take people as serious as before. As of today, it's more subtle and not as present as it was e.g. directly after last meditation retreat, and it was not like that when I started my "spiritual work". But all in all: yes my empathy decreased. Not as in sharing and understanding the feeling of others. I still can do that, and connect with others, even more than before all spiritual stuff. But sometimes I notice I care less because I see more the form, more the universal "it" and less an individual in front of me. There is a situation I remember that perfectly illustrates my experience: Few months ago, there was a networking event, and I got to know a girl. She was nice, we had a really good conversation and clearly connected on many topics. More than you usually do when you just meet someone new. I liked her, but not in a romantic/sexual way she was "only" good company. I think at some point she was checking what kind of interest/intention I have & what kind of connection we have. Because it's easy to misinterpreted good conversation, connecting etc for romantic interest. So she asked me if connect like that with many people. I said yes. It was true because I was still in a very open state after last meditation retreat. And in this state connecting and quick bonding happened almost automatic for me in many situations. I could then feel a shift in her voice and energy, and it didn't seem to be her but felt like something deeper talking. She then said: "If you connect to many people like that, doesn't it then become very arbitrary?" When she said it, it hit me instantly. She was right. Yes it does become arbitrary. Because it felt like I'm not really connecting to her as an individual human being, but more to a reflection, a form, a universal..."it". It didn't feel special. I didn't really notice the "abitrary" effect before she said it, but I became aware of that when she did. I came down from that intense state since last retreat, but sometimes this recognition of "oh ok there it is, it's just "it" in a new form, it's a reflection, it's not special" comes back. Happened just two days ago with a random guy I met. It's still nice, I'm thankful for meeting people & connecting with them. Clearly better than not meeting and not connecting. But I care less about it. That's why I voted "yes". Wished it was different. But it is what it is.

I don't believe this is true. What about Luka Doncic for instance? This guy is famous for having incredible fun on and off the court. Same time, he is super attached to specific outcomes. Just watch him in games, his competitiveness. You can now say "it different with dating". Nah, it's not. I can have fun BECAUSE it matters to me, because there are some emotions. You are right about "not forcing things". But this whole "being emotionally detached stuff" is overrated. It's simply about finding the right balance.

In the last months, through meditation and psychedelics, my own idea of a "self" changed. I believe to see parts of me in others and synchronicities pile up. I can see how information travels beyond physical limitations and how other people entering my life reflect my inner world and personal experience to extreme levels, almost like looking into a mirror. Other people tell me things that are tailored to my specific situations. I could go on, but bottom line is: For me, there is a increasing feeling and perceiving of "oneness". So, I find myself more and more in a state where I perceive communication on two levels: I talk to the ego person in front of me, to the physical limitations of time and space I talk to ..well, I don't know what but something or someone beyond. And energy field that flows through everything and that is not limited by time and space It's kind of strange because it's almost like I can feel whenever I am listening or talking more to the first or the latter. For instance, I know a guy for years and then suddenly he surprises me with some stuff so deep that is so much beyond every expectation that I am literally shocked. Beyond the content, sometimes I also believe to perceive a change in the voice, the tone of the person talking to me. At times it feels like I am talking to my subconscious on a very deep level. Maybe I am projecting, OK To find out if I am or how much - any opinions on that? Similar experiences? Or even if you don't have similar experiences, how do you approach communication with others while at the same time you either experience or have experienced some kind of oneness in the past?

You can dip your baguette in the cream..LOL