theleelajoker

@Natasha Tori Maru Open to share your entity encounter? To draw the line to the videos: What you are saying - "spiritual work" - one could also call "removing/reducing the veil" right? The way I perceive it, the veil is a combination of different things: set of assumptions about our experience, thoughts (mainly created by culture) a way of perceiving and expressing reality (fear vs love) a clarity about human behavior, an intuitive knowing why people do something Reducing the veil then goes along with changed actions because the way you relate to life changes

@Chadders Yeah sounds good. But what to do with that now? What's the practical value of that? So you say it's in both, so why make the distinction in the first place? Just seems like more concepts to me. Or am I missing something? Litte side-joke: I write about divine feminine above, right? Shorty afterwards, I go to a bar, talk to this girl, look at her tattoos. She has "divine" and "feminine" tattooed on her left and right arm LOL

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So, I had a time when I felt similar to what you feel. I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I experienced. I went out, met some strangers, got very drunk with them, poured my heart out, expressed all the desperation. Went home, talked to another stranger, shared a joint with him, he said "if you kill yourself why you think it will get any better afterwards?". Made me think. And made me reconsider. I continued to express my desperation, talked to people. Then it faded away within few days. Had great, amazing experiences afterwards. Now I am as deeply engaged in life as I ever was. Conclusion for me? Whatever I resist, persists. Whatever I feel and express makes me free of it. Maybe I'm wrong maybe I'm right. Leo says a lot of stuff, but he doesn't seem happy. Would not put too much into what he says. Maybe he's right, maybe he's wrong.

Yeah, let's take 50% of your POV, 50% of my POV and I guess we are on a good way?! I see where you're going with some statements. "Too much to handle at one point of time" --> yes, of course. And yes, strategy seems to have value...but you can strategize too much, too (as you said) Also, is being in a state of "not ideal self" not already the ideal self? Imagine you are your ideal self, WTF you do then? I think we got to watch out chasing the carrot on the stick and not realizing the chase might be the goal : )

I am a man and I love to play. LOVE TO PLAY. LOVE IT. Holy shit, playing is fun. Sports. Board Games. Flirts. Dancing. Relationships with friends, family, others. And I love truth to. But the search for truth is a GAME And masculine leadership? Yooooo, have you noticed how subtle women are leading men? I think you're delusional not seeing this All this feminine-masculine play is often seen through a lens of playing against each other. But I see it as playing with each other What's the difference? The first maximizing winning, the second maximizing fun : ) Where I agree is that it's great to have a feeling of "do I still want to play? Do I have enough? Do I want to play a different game"? Where I agree is the timing, and the unsafe part. You need to respect the role, the character, the personality of the other. Where I agree is that balance is required. You need to play the your role the same way she plays her. Well...the feminine is not divine?

Yes, and I am one of those "hoping to get her back" I accept if she does not want that, and I move on as best as I can. But my heart is still with her, so what choice do I have? I don't read Leo's blog, and I don't know the context of his statement, but calling women that go through such experiences "weak" makes me very angry. I remember holding my ex one time, my hands on her chest, her back leaning against me. I was super sensitive to energy and vibration at this point, having finished two vipassana retreats within 2 months and smoking a joint few minutes before. So my hands are on her chest and I feel her vibration in the heart area...and it was pure fear. Pure, naked fear of death, fear of survival, very fast, very strong, very intense. It's so strong, I have no doubt it permeates the whole body and all behavior every single fucking day. I felt all her trauma and just seeing how people go through experiences and then move on in life...that's not weak, that's courage.

First of all: Sorry bro! That's tough, for you and for her. Really tough when everything seems fine, when you feel a connection and when you have plans that you both feel comfortable and looking forward to. I think you already have a good perspective, and knowing that there has been abuse is - as far as I can say with limited outside perspective - an important step in processing this, for both of you. I have ex-gf that showed similar behavior to what you describe. I suspect abuse experiences although she never explicitly said something like this. But knowing my ex, and how she feels and felt, I am extremely confident that your ex wishes things were different, and that she hopes that you are doing well. I believe in this case you can take what she says at face value. My ex also had this energy of "it's not fair towards you", I think she said literally the same words. I assume a person that goes through abuse (irrationally) feels guilt. There was a lot of guilt with my ex, completely unnecessary, she was/is great. Such victims might feel like a burden, and they don't want to project their "negative feelings" on others, so breaking up is a solution to a) protect the partner (you and me) and b) to free themselves of the bad feeling that they make life hard for the other person. I think my ex (and yours?) is torn between the desire for intimacy and the desire to be alone, the only way she knows to somewhat feel safe. That's why the back and fort, and the deleted texts. That's pretty tough, this divide and this fear it tears your soul apart...

Thanks!

My own experience is that you can go pretty deep with meditation. Once, during a retreat, LSD-like deep, just without the visuals. When I did ayahuasca the last time, I remained surprisingly sober. Wasn't the stuff itself, as the shaman doing it got very high and after I felt "too sober" I even asked for a second potion. Yes I felt it but it was much less then I expected. The message I took from this trip was "don't try to get into these higher artificially created states, live your life fully with your everyday awareness" Some weeks ago, I had a very strange encounter that I felt strongly recommend me to quit weed. The conclusion I take from these experiences for me: A LOT is possible without psychedelics. Really, a lot. The goal for me seems not to reach these extraordinary states, but to simply integrate, to express, to live with who I am and what I know, with the level of being I am right now Have fun Btw, I am getting close to doing a support/discucssion group for people that are being told about psychotic experiences because I think its a heavily misunderstood concept in the west

Hmmm not sure I am following brother. Can you please give an example, and/or make it more concrete? How you notice the egoic structure, what makes you see it and when you you recognize that sme went down the path further? Maybe I am (partly) in this trap, too so might be useful for me : )

Yeah, so in general resonates what the guys says. The people just seem to make a very big thing out of it, you know? "Deep spiritual work", organized practices and discipline, effort, and so on. People seem soooo serious about it. For me, it's everyday stuff, everyday interactions where I am affected most, where I changed the most and where I strive for most integration and growth. And everyday is nice when it's fun and playful, right? Moreover, the kryas are spontaneous, so why make the effort of organized practice, you know? And for me it started out of deep stillness, and now it's spontaneous - so personally I'm not into this whole efforts and discipline stuff. Leo is also always sooo serious about these things. Serious work, yeah yeah sure whatever makes you happy 😃 My POV: Let's have a bit less seriousness, less effort, and more fun, more freedom about this whole thing, won't we? I definitely have my lows, can't do the fun and light state all the time (yet) but I strive as much and as often as I can. Ever wondered how connected the words light, lightness and enlightened are? 😁

Valentin? What you mean? You mean average stress levels decrease because people are spending more time together on Valentine's Day?

@Petals Fair points. I have some subjective data points from this reality that are aligned with what the people in the videos say - that we came for a reason, that there was a harsh "forgetting" or veil, and that I am in communication with someone or something beyond physical 3-D reality. But I've never been to the astral dimension, I never had direct contact with any entity. And I experienced that reality also can project pre-determinded believes or past experiences of me, that's why I'm careful. I don't like the narrative he puts on these entities and the reincarnation story. He projects a very negative picture. And while I had my fair share of life circumstances that seem like a "negative set up", I also have been very fucking lucky, too. It kind of balances out, maybe? Things magically happened for me that allowed me to experience exactly what I wished to experience. Very grateful for that. It feels a bit like hunger games where others can decide to sent some good stuff your way I often had this feeling, good things out of nowhere and it I had a very strong feeling that it wasn't me responsible for this good thing happening. It just fell into my lap out of nowhere. Don't know why, maybe I did something right, maybe I was entertaining, maybe sme had pity, maybe sme just wants to support me, maybe all of it, may be none of it. And in one video the guy also says "would do it a million times again"...so maybe we are tricked into something that's good for us even if we don't see it like that allem the time?

Well, I have no memory of sth like this. I do have the feeling of being guided sometimes, and I do have the feeling of being taught lessons. But how exactly, why, by whom, what for etc...don't know. There's certainly more going on that the eyes can see on the surface. But again, what exactly I don't know. There are so many stories about entities, reincarnation, purpose of life etc how to know what's really true? How to know that it's even the same for all humans?

One more thing just came to my mind...meeting people! So when I hang out with friends, I typically meet them just to be with them.

@emil1234 welcome to the club!

I have the experience you describe sober, at least to a certain degree. Alcohol sometimes also increases this awareness, even if many people condem it (I read there are spiritual traditions that actively work with alcohol, maybe it was tibet.) It's like exploring my own mind, other people are products, are representative of my subconscious. Re your questions: 1. Can't verify or falsify that for you. I can only talk about my own experience. And it feels for me very similar to what you describe 2. You see it as "loosing ability to fool yourself". That's one perspective to look at it. But it's a narrow one IMO. On my path, I stated the intention "to be free" several times. Always wanted to be free, since I was a small kid. I met a stranger in a train, short time before my awakening experience, she asked me (more or less randomly) what I want most in life. It wasn't money, fame, etc I said I want freedom. I got what I wanted, "God" gave it to me. So maybe you wanted that too? One the one hand, it seems I can't go back anymore. I see the interconnectedness almost all the time and I am unable to not see it. So re your question, it seems I can't go to back to being unaware. But do I even want that? When I am fully engaged in life, then I am back in my role. I cry, I laugh, I flirt, I talk, I do sports etc etc. So I recommend to go and engage as much as possible with what is. You said you do not want to loose the ability to fool yourself. That's where psycedelics and this whole "teaching" by Leo is a very dangerous, very slippery slope IMO. Psycedelics force you to open, it's not you slowly opening up and integrating. Can be too much too soon for many people. People will disagree, and it's fine, it's just my opinion and observation. I had many of my big awakenings during meditation, and it is and still was quite tough. But I learned more to let go instead of substance doing it for me. If you really want to got back to not seeing, I don't know, but I guess God has a way of giving you this experience as well. Just be careful what you wish for, might not be better then what is now.

Don't know how long it will take. Don't know if it's possible to stop at all. If I had to GUESS, then I would say it stops when resistance reached very low levels / zero. And GUESSING again, I think it's a dynamic process, the more integration, the more flowing with life, the faster body is re-calibrated to hold this energy. A friend told me about a body and mind 3-D to 5-D transition, don't know how much there is too it. Getting goosebumps also a lot, when me or others talk about certain topics, or when there is a intensity behind their words. Tai chi seems like a very good idea! Many years ago I did a course, but I wasn't "feeling" it, you know what I mean? For sure I would be feeling it today hahahahah @Davino had good input re diet in a other thread, maybe worth to take a look for you. Something is happening re you and me, so let's find out how to make the best out of it

Thanks brother 🙏 Curios to explore this path of new diet. The stuff with fungi was completely new for me.

Yeah also still have lots of tension but the trend is clearly going towards relaxation. Key is for me to not create tensions again in daily life but flowing as much as possible in any situation. Jaw tension is key for me, being aware of tensions there is a good indicator. I'm watching my thoughts and breath more lately this helps too Edit: today I realized I need to dance! Body wants to move - OK let's move! Will pick a club with good music and then release as much as possible:)

Welcome to my life stranger! Seems there is some synchronicity happening 😂 I experience things like this too. My body twitching and moving, sometimes jerking violently, sometimes smoothly moving, also in an 8 like you see in snake charming. Neck and jaw are where the main movements appear, lots of cracking in my spine. Also started for me after significant awakening experience during meditation retreat. I also took a break from meditation for few weeks and now slowly get into it again. Also had a rough, a tough phase of integration / transition period. I also attribute it to Kundalini Moreover, I feel regularly like throwing up in daily life. Never happened, but my body is clearly going though a re-calibration. It's accompanied by getting high a bit, like weed or sometimes small dosis of MDMA. My approach: I can't sit still anymore, and I don't even try to force stillness. I let the energy do it's stuff because I believe holding it back will be counter - productive. I sometimes try to direct the energy in a very,very subtle way, but mainly my goal is to feel it and synchronize with it, align my movements with the energy flows. For this, I feel tensions, or dense areas and either focus on just feeling or on relaxing these parts. Or doing nothing but being aware. I then typically feel the energy rising, how and where, and what it's trying to "tell me" re movement. Then I move my body to harmonise my flow or offer minimal resistance and maximum letting go. At least I do this for the subtle flows. For the violent ones I am just an obsever, it's really like being possessed or controlled by this energy. Very interesting experience, loosing control over my body like that... The reasons I "just let it happen" is because it's feels like it's positively influencing my nervous system. I also see positive changes in my external reality and my interactions with others...so I trust it to do its job Side note: parallel to the stuff above I suddenly get feedback about my eyes 👀. I think I got more compliments about them in two months then in 20 years before. One woman asked me to send her pictures of them. Spiritual version of dick pic haha 😆 So this energy seems to have some effect that is somehow visible to others although I don't see any difference myself in the mirror 🤷

@Natasha Tori Maru Had no time to watch it yet, but it sounds a bit like the theory of constructed emotions by Lisa Barrett Feldman?

@Judy2 You like music? I like to take a walk with my headphones and sing to songs I like.I also like videogames. Those are things that have no desirable result, no bigger purpose except for doing it for the sake of doing it. (Don't want to become a singer or pro gamer) Reading for entertainment, not to learn, might be something. I like character - driven fantasy books or historical stuff. Feeling, putting attention in your body, also might be something. Simple curiosity of "ok how does this or that part of my body feel right now?" The key is to be a) deeply involved into some activity and b) feel like the activity itself is the purpose. What exactly these activities are for you, that of course I don't know just giving ideas to maybe support your process

Wow that's an interesting post, didn't know where this is going until the end. I don't remember being physically attacked in a way you describe. What I have experienced - personally and told by others - is that people leave situations that are actually good for them. They seem to can't handle being loved. Seemed strange: Everything is ok, why sabotage yourself and leave? During my last Vipassana retreat I got very deep in meditation and in this state I believe to have recognized that the reason is in line with the comment of @samijiben. There is fear of loosing that good situation, and out of fear for the "good" to end they leave before they get more used to it, before they go deeper into this connection. It's a "ok I'm still in control I can end it on my terms" > it's ending for reasons beyond my control. It has some logic, and seems to be "normal" for humans in some areas of life, but of course EVERYTHING ends and you miss on all the incredible loving experiences that could have been.