theleelajoker

Full transparency: I am heavily influenced by the hindu ideas of "Maya", "Leela /Lila"; big Fan of Stanislav Grov, Alan Watts for example. My replies are basically "their replies". Why? The simply resonate the most with me. It simply feels "true" for me since many years (that might change in the future, who knows?) That being said, my answers: 1. Benefit of slow evolving: It's like listening to a song, or dancing a dance: The goal is not to come to the end of the song fast; the shortest songs are not the best songs just bc they are short; and you don't dance to get to the other side of the room - you do it bc you enjoy the process of dancing, listening to music etc 2. Value gradual understanding: See no 1; See hero journey, typical storytelling, your own life; the feeling of deserving, the feeling of putting in work and then finally realizing it; love stories that have some resistance vs. everything went smooth from beginning to end. Great stories have great processes. 3. Cosmic Game: Tbh, the more I dive into my own personal development, my own levels of consciousness, the more I think it's just entertainment. Simply entertainment. The poem below it's translated automatically but I think you can understand it's message- The finger pointing to the moon If you point your finger at the moon and you concentrate on the finger, you miss the heavenly splendor,because you are too busy with yourself. But you're not important at all, because without the moon You wouldn't be able to see your finger at all. See your opponent as a moon. Because without an opponent there is no fight. Now delete the emotion, the words Evoke “enemies” or “enemies” in you and now see him as a teammate. Because without players the game is boring. Then play your game and never change it without an absolute reason! Your biggest enemy is your ego. Even more than your counterpart. Therefore, before you want to defeat another, you should You have to start yourself. See everything as a game. You would like to win, but if you are only on If you think you win, you will probably lose. You Doesn't have to be the best, but you should try.

My first thought: Yeah, why not? Would be great to avoid wars, conflicts, fights for resources etc, right? Then my second thought: It would not be the same "cosmic game" anymore, would it? Something (NOT "someone" I don't believe in shadow societies ruling the world) has an interest to either keep this, or to let things evolve slowly, right?

Beautiful description

Lol that's the best analogy I have seen re the "why" Gonna use that in the future to illustrate the use and the limits of the mind, thanks!

There are infinite possible explanations. I don't see any reason to come to your conclusion

I am not a teacher, but I participated in a few group sessions. Worked wonders for my nervous system and anxiety. I felt incredible relaxed afterwards and the effect is (to a degree) also long term. Can 100% recommend it. Don't know what kind of education my instructor has. Needless to say, the quality of the trainer and the specific fit of breath work type is crucial. Also went to sessions that were close to useless. Once I found what works for me in the current phase of my life I want to continue it. Group and live with instructor is much easier and more effective than doing it on my own at home with video.

Posted it before, but I would like to emphasize it again: Reading Lisa Barret Feldmann re how we construct emotions has been very helpful for me. Understanding process of emotions was a crucial step in order to regain (more) power over my emotional life step by step, little by little. And like someone in a previous post said this process made me more comfortable in the role I am playing in this drama

I believe a lot of it is cultural conditioning. Thinking you can have one without the other, or that one is "positive" or "negative"

Would not go as far as saying "all pleasant" since then - but I had one very strong psychedelic experience some months ago and I can see a clear trajectory upwards since then. The difference to all other psychedelic experiences was that I had a strong loss of identification. It like I am on a boat and the experience changed the course I was taking by 1 or 2 degrees. Slow at the beginning, but the change becomes stronger and stronger every month. It's not only the psychedelics (it were mushrooms) but also many other factors that catalyzed change. Nevertheless, I feel that the trip played a crucial role.

What are you expecting from posting here? Understanding, advice, concrete tips what to do, etc.?

Yes, connected many dots for me. Thx for sharing

@LyubovI agree and can relate with your points. For me, both the functional but also my dysfunctional relationships have been incredible re growth. I would even go as far to say that IMO you cannot reach certain levels without relationships. Thinking of purusharta, you first go for a family and then you go into a cave. What bothers me is that some personal believe systems and attitudes are generalized are presented as "true". I believe this to be reckless and irresponsible as it causes a cascade of thoughts and actions that are not constructive or healthy for people's life.

Don't agree. Can't see why it has to be that way. In my personal experience a relationship can be about both. Maybe it's only like that because you think it's like that. In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true is true or becomes true, within certain limits to be found experientially and experimentally. These limits are further beliefs to be transcended. In the mind there are no limits. John C Lilly

This discussion has taken a strange turn IMO - towards sex, enlightenment, truth, etc. Which is not "good" or "bad" itself, but a) it seems to turn in circles b) does not seem constructive for me Re the OP - if you see women as distraction, so it be. For me, it's quite the opposite - there is nobody who supports me more in my development than my current partner. Can women be a distraction? Yeah, but my toaster can be one, too. It's me, and not the toaster's fault. How you do things (e.g. dating) > what you do Yeah, maybe be ego is tricking me etc etc - but maybe not. I take my chances @Emerald In my perspective, you make some very good points and for me it's easy to follow your arguments. Appreciate your perspective and I can't understand the reactions of some people here

Spirituality aside: Regarding the 5 senses, I also recommend 7 1/2 lessons about the brain from Lisa Feldman Barrett.

Yes, interpretation is very arbitrary : ) You can do it on the meta level (in general dream means sth vs. does not mean anything) and on the content level (particular dream means this vs. particular dream means that)

Might also tell you that you are in the process of overcoming your fears of commitment. You were afraid, now you work through this fear in your subconscious, it gets visualized in your dreams and afterwards you feel free in marrying the person. Interpretation can be veeeeery abitrary. Is there really any meaning to dreams other than the story we create ourselves? Don't know

@Keryo Koffa is correct - at least re me exploring the concept : )

OK I believe I get where you're coming from and what you're pointing at. I don't have such "soul mate enthusiasts" in my environment - but I can imagine that they exists and how it impacts their view on relationships. BTW, of course I have lonely days. Especially in times of introversion / during fasting when many feelings are coming up. Like you said, I also see accepting and confronting these feelings, taking accountability as appropriate way. Afterwards, I feel more open to seek and maintain connection to others.

@Lila9 Some assumptions here. Seeing someone als soulmate does not mean that one does not invest into the relationship. Maybe the person is a soulmate BECAUSE both parties know that it is important to do it and are doing it freely. Yeah, unfortunately is also see a lot of individualistic and narcissistic behavior. Agree on this re western society (my current environment) Seeing someone as a soulmate does not mean that you see this person as responsible for catering all needs. It's just a great match and fulfills some needs. For instance sharing intimacy, creating connection, personal / spiritual development with a sexual partner (sexual relation as difference to family and close friends). Not everyone is a poor, lonely self. Did you have a bad or lonely day when you wrote this? : )

Don't know how it is for others, but in the weeks and months before meeting her four things happened: 1) A "bad" relationship where many things did not fit but it was not able to see that for quite a while 2) The weeks before meeting here I had the feeling of expressing myself much more authentically than before 3) I expressed the clear intention of meeting a partner 4) I asked god/universe/[ ... ] for help and guidance My interpretations: No 1) reminds me of a proverb that goes sth like this: Before one can bring light into a room, it has to be dark. No 2) Mirroring principle? When you're more in touch with your true desires etc, then life mirrors matching counterparts No 3) Setting clear intentions --> already big step to manifesting it? No 4) Maybe someone was listening? Maybe it's helpful, maybe I am just creating a story. Don't know. Curious if others have similar experiences.

Until some weeks ago, my answer would have been "I don't believe there is sth like a soulmate". However: Recently, I met a girl and since then up to this moment right now it has been an incredible harmonious flow. After spending few hours, we both felt like we have known each other for a very long time. Many aspects of our personalities - such as interests, belief systems, our current stages and goals in life, sense of humor, physical traits etc fit so well that I never would have imagined that sth like that is possible. Yeah, of course it's very new and things can change easily. At the same time, "Life" really surprised me and if you ask me right now - yeah, my reply is there is sth that fits the concept of a soulmate.

How do you know that? You could just be programmed to hallucinate / simulate this experience.

Not sure I understand correctly. You mean because of infinity everything we can imagine (=non-zero probability) will happen/has happened?

Recently, I very often experience something one might call "mystical experiences" or strong synchronicities. Sometimes it's something "bigger", sometimes it's sth very "small". But there is a correlation that is simply too strong for me to ignore or to treat as mere coincidence or projection. Just to give you an idea, some examples: For instance, after a very long time I finally manage to overcome a big difficulty for me and in a phone call I shortly later I get to know the same experience happened to a relative thousands of km away. Imagine you are in a good mood, telling jokes while being with some people. I ride my bike, go to a sports class and I meet happy people in a good mood, telling jokes, perfectly reflecting my mood before I even started talking. (Never experienced that kind of mood in the class before - only the time I was in this mood as well) Imagine you finally decide to make a doctor's appointment for sth that bothered you for a long time - and shortly later, a friend tells you he just did the same thing: finally making a a doctor's appointment for sth that bothered him for a long time Imagine you a thinking about a very specific, non-mainstream business idea during the day. At night, you go out to a club. The person waiting right behind you in the line tells you that they are working in this exact niche of business. I could name many more examples. Each one of these instances - yeah, no big deal. Few of them, yeah all good. But a lot of these events in a short amount of time gives me a feeling as if my thoughts, feelings and actions are directly causing changes in parts of external reality. It's not like I could or did create anything on purpose - it's just happening. But in the moments when it's happening I cannot help but getting the feeling of causal connection. Why is it a problem? You might think "great that these things are happening". In some sense, yes. But it just feels like a awful lot of responsibility. For example, if I would start smoking now, will I notice that friends pick up unhealthy habits as well? If I refrain from doing certain actions out of fear, will people in my environment be afraid as well? Moreover, I don't like the idea of solipims and "me creating external reality". Why should the world evolve around me? I resonate much more with the idea of Indra's Jewel Net ("each individual is at once the cause for the whole and is caused by the whole"). But it does not matter that I believe I am just part of a bigger thing - it feels as if I am directly causing some events in my environment, whether I want to feel that way or not. So, long story short: Can someone relate to these kind of experiences / this feeling of "I am creating this" and the sense of responsibility? If yes, how are you handling it?