theleelajoker

Bold: I agree. I like if they show some cooperation, initiative otherwise I get a strange feeling that I'm doing something that is not healthy for me. There are many pretty, arrogant and unreceptive women - but there are also a ton of active, open and receptive ones. Re the former - it's their karma and luckily not my problem. Re the later - Hi, how you're doing?

Between 18 and 29, I was not in a relationship for maybe 1 year or so, a break between two GFs. Do I feel like I missed out in my twenties? Nope. I explored a lot in my thirties, only had short relationships. Was it fun? Yes. Would I prefer to have a longer relationship again? Yes. Seriously, having a great relationship in my twenties was one of the best things in my life. The whole social stuff and benefits you can get from dating you can also get by socializing without the intention of having sex with the women. The exploration of dating has been important for me re getting to know a lot of different people, connecting with them, learning form them. But that you can do without fucking lol There are some higher stakes, some excitement when you date because there is this uncertainty of "hmm where will this go"? BUT: I also enjoyed the feeling of being committed in a monogamous relationship. So no matter the situation, no matter how beautiful the women in front of me, I could focus on the interaction and content and was not controlled my my dick Open relationships can be interesting too, but that's another topic and at this stage I'm not so keen on that anymore

Yeah, it's not black and white and you also have a point. Online dating is just very superficial and lots of people spent a lot of time presenting themselves in a certain light. I admit I use a dating app too, but I don't put too much effort into it. It's nice and sometimes I get a nice date out of it. But that's bonus to meeting women IRL and my pics are definitely Sub-Standard. Women ("u look better IRL than in your pics") and my friends told me this The problem with the "nice pics great presentation" stuff is that you eventually meet in real life. Yeah I miss out re matches with my bad pics, but I accept this. And if the woman I meet is significantly less attractive than the impression she gave in the pics, then she already has big minus points. If on the other hands she looks approx the same, she collects bonus points for authenticity

I think many of my ex moved to a new guy, but not all. Sometimes of course I don't know what she did. I did hermit mode and in hindsight I missed out on life a bit too much unnecessarily. But I was as ready as I could be for the next woman. When I looked for other connections I realized I didn't fully process but distracted myself a bit. But I had great experiences and met lots of interesting people. So...it's life nothing is black or white

Maybe we talk about different things? I agree re the sex addiction... but at least the guys I know that are like that, they can talk for hours about how they get laid and write whole books about it. If you want to maximize sex you need to be effective, so they can (and did) tell me up to to last detail what and how they do it. It's true it's nothing to them re meaning, but they are very aware of what and how they interact. They don't go out and just socialize, they know where the chances are best to get what they want.

Ah I did not think anything I was way to surprised in this particular situation. In hindsight don't think she was interested to go home together but rather have a bit fun. But there were other situations where I thought XYZ means this and that like you said...and then I had the WTF expression on my face when it turned out I was totally wrong haha

Lol. I go to bars or talk to women on the street. But I put on my makeup to look nice for them 💄 Is that similar to editing images with AI? I don't comment on their pets but IRL I like to comment on details like their clothes, jewelry or actions. Could be close to giving a like in online world right?

I had to google Bonnie Blue and it's the first time I hear the term "Jezebel". I also didn't know who Sadia is before this thread. So, I admit to have zero awareness re these youtube and social Media people. And I don't know who's parroting whom and so on. I heard about Andrew Tate, isn't this that fine gentleman who sells cheese on the market on Wednesday? I also admit I have just learned to use my radio and my TV at home. This internet stuff confuses me. My nephew is typing this message for me on his smartphone, he's reading posts to me and takes time to reply when he's around. He's such a nice little boy.

There is some truth to it...I got laid a bit and also a gf or two before I ever thought about this kind of stuff. But also: They guys I know that are most successful with women - they do think A LOT about these things. A fucking lot Yeah that's the way I got the term compliance in your first post. "So I am going to get an ice cream, you want to join?" "I am going to stay at the bar, have another drink, what about you?" --> yes, no maybe, just like you say. And if she got the chance to "go along with proposal" and said no once, twice --> I either need to make more effort - which I rarely do - or I move on. I also got super surprised by how women act and how I thought they would act. Was wrong often. Funniest thing ever happening to me: With my friends at the bar, there was one cute blonde. We even played table football together, she was on the other side. Did not look at me once, did not give me any attention. My friend is like "Yo bro what about the blonde?" Me: "Forget it she has zero interest in me". About an hour later I sit at the bar, that very blond comes right next to me and says "I want to buy you a shot and then I want to kiss you" Admittedly, she was crazy drunk and after kissing for a moment she went to the restroom and did not come back for a while - as far as I remember that was our last interaction on that evening But before that interaction I would have bet 1000$ that she has no interest in me at all. I have of course stories where I thought she likes me and then I crash landed...but that's for another day. Spoiler: Disproportionately often it was a French or Italian girl, so be careful of them LOL

@emil1234 Well, you don't live in Ukraine? Or N Korea? Or in the slumps of Delhi? @Deadpixel Everybody is different, but it you want to try something: 10 day Vipassana retreats resulted in a "ups ok it's all one" awakening. Might work for you, just don't expect it to work:)

People can be complete assholes, dysfunctional in some areas and still have great expertise, success and insights re other topics. I know enough examples personally where this is the case. It seems there's pressure in society to always be "everything" and to present a fitting side of oneself so people put on a mask. But the mask rarely holds. Sex scandals, fraud, cheating, lying there will always a new one being exposed, and there will always be new imposters and some will get away with it for a while, some longer, some forever

There is something fascinating about Sanskrit language. For one, it's how meaning is created and the grammar is structured. The yoga sutra has very few words but says a lot! The other one is the sound, the frequency, the vibration. Sometimes I meet people and I am amazed by their energy, especially by their voice. Chatting to them often revealed that they do mantra singing. I sing too sometimes (for myself) and it's interesting because I often feel how the singing directly translates to changes in my body, for instance I feel the area around my stomach or throat relax. Hebrew can also give me some interesting effects. Once I watched a movie, normal stuff and then a character started to talk ok Hebrew. I had no idea what he is talking about but my body instantly reacted with goose bumps. @Schizophonia will be fun studying it for sure

Ah well, I am not too much into this phase and the details tbh. Only thing is that I have seen that women in their mid to late 30s become indeed a bit more unpredictable. Which seems normal to me, the motherhood thing just becomes more present in body and mind (kids yes/no? With which man? More kids yes/no? With same man?). Even if menopause is in the mid 40s, the late 30s to 40 seems like a certain threshold in our western culture.

Have seen it a lot. They are not comfortable to say "no" directly even if not interested and/or they change their mind afterwards if they aren't fully convinced. I have a friend that is amazing at getting numbers because he knows how to approach and manipulate people (he's narcissistic) but he always had high percentage of girls saying afterwards "hm don't feel like meeting". He had a smooth, subtle, charming and also confident way to ask for numbers so that was a success but often the subconscious catches up a bit later, the girls feeling "hm something was off". Of course, sometimes it just works smoothly in any variation. Asking for number and setting date then, vice versa, girls asking for number and proposing, etc etc. Even with all statistics over time it's important that every flirt is also individual.

Yeah I get you. "But in this duality there might be things that actually exist but are hidden to the normal eye." There is a book, the law behind the laws or so? Might be something but didn't read it yet. I used to smile about many things, you mention Atlantis, I heard about Lemuria and...well, I can't rule out anything anymore . IME: Once you leave behind the cultural conditioning what's real and what's not it becomes very tricky to verify or falsify stuff

@- Adam - Just came here to post that I resonate with a lot of what you wrote. Nicely said:) The wood walks, avoidance of work, but also helping to process and prepare, manual labor everyday life, the struggle but also the growth. Temporary pattern disrupter, helpful, but not ultimate solution. I feel you brother!

Nice description. I would add "being able to fall asleep" in the same line as "waking up and wanting to live" If addicted to something, getting out of bed or going to sleep or both can be challenging

Oui. Loved the cafes, hated the traffic.

Lol I found myself in your comment Casually dating is fine, but the emotional intensity in relationships can be high for me too! And when it goes wrong it derails a lot for me as well, also up to 6 months when it was very intense / bad break up. @Lucasxp64 out of curiosity: do you have the feeling or took your ex equally long to process or did they do it much faster? For me, in almost all cases it seemed that they moved on much faster than I did. Maybe different personality, but I also wonder if they ever really processed it or just moved on but the emotions still stuck somewhere...

I guess a girl said sth about birth control, or not being in fertile period of months but then got pregnant. Know someone where this happened. But I'm guessing now I'm curious what exactly happened in his story And he said "going towards menopause" so I guess that is the same as perimenopause (time before/ after menopause I was told by Google didn't know this word)

Funny I just commented on this in another thread. I would choose happy and fulfilled but deceived over truth as well. Can't say that my happyness / fulfilment increased with truth. Different approach: filter less with truth, more with body sensations?

@Lucasxp64 Your post makes me laugh First, because it's a great analysis and recommendation. Good meta stuff, and thinking ahead with out being stuck in a dogmatic view. Why did it make me laugh? For one, because in my experience all those things/ actions you mention tend to come mostly naturally. Otherwise they can seemed forced, or too strategic, or inauthentic. I say "mostly" because there is a skill in being aware in communication, of being conscious of what I do/say and how it impacts the other. But IME, when you focus too much on meta you risk loosing yourself in analyzing too much, too much thinking. Lots of assumptions, got to make sure to double check frequently if they are valid. And second, OP might do everything perfectly, right balance of attention and detachment, opening up, finding common ground, some playful teasing and still it will lead to nothing. Because....karma 🤣 If there were a formula to apply it wouldn't be fun. Yes you can become more or less skillful, but IME there was always a certain randomness I had to accept. Good luck!

Bold marked: Very good point IMO. I don't know her, first time just through this thread. But the thing with different conditioning - yeah that is something I experience and see a lot with others too. It's the tricky thing IMO with cultural conditioning, dissolving it gives you freedom but it also pulls the floor from your feet so you're up in the air, all the ideas of right and wrong, and what you want or what others should do are suddenly gone.

Good stuff IME

Bonus rule: Never talk about others to others. You think they won't know, they are out of ear shot or even in a different city. But once you start noticing, it's s really funny how the information travels from one "other" to the next one.