theleelajoker

@Davino Thx for clarification. You do the throne thing, I tell I'm her stallion and she can ride it any way she wants (she was doing a lot of horse riding when she was younger) And it's quite interesting, I think subconsiuosly we kind of have been exploring and doing this kind of stuff you describe. For me, it's finding a vibe, rhytm, position where the woman is literally opening up and fully inviting, welcoming you. I can feel it in her moaning, her breath, her (decrasing) body tension and of course I can feel it around my dick. The whole energy exploraton thing works best when be both smoked some weed I think we tend to be less in our head more in our body then. Re the energy exchange, I was sometimes thinking that it's a healthy way to express some of my male agression/activity in a gentle and controlled way while the woman literally receives the kinetic energy of the penetration and finally the male orgasm. @Schizophonia: Nothing cringe for me at all

Well said. Like very much what you wrote. Maybe even going a step further with one sentence: is learning, changing, evolving maybe the only meaningful thing in life?

@Emerald Thx. Quite interesting as I recently had some experiences that gave me an impression to tap into sth very deep, Jungian like collective unsonscious. Just happened and then later I assosiated it with Jung's description. It also touches on some of the uncomfortable questions re women and history of supression, adding an aspect you did not include in your posts before - the topic of guilt. If interested in more info, PM. @Natasha Tori Maru "I definitely chose to come into this existence in female form as this was the energy type I needed to master, primarily." Makes sense for my personal journey, too ;D

Great post. As I wrote above, I agree about taking responsibility. As of today, it seems like a tradeoff between freedom and responsibility for me. But how did I meet the people, how did I get into situations that allowed me this insight? What made me recognize and then decide that I want to make that tradeoff? What makes me approach these mechanisms with love instead of force? Who is actually softening the ego structures? Why are there people that seem to be be stuck in the same pattern for many years, while others manage to make gain freedom? Who or what allows me to let go of control instead of holding onto things? NO FUCKING IDEA.

You say you want X but you're not doing it. So how you know you really want it? I have this often, too. I want, I want and I can't. But I want so badly. Now I am sad, because I want, but I don't do it. Sucks. And then suddenly, I feel like doing XZY - and before I even realize it, it's done. So maybe what you want NOW is to be desperate. You want to crave. You want to be in a down mood. You want to feel not motivated. These feeling are there. You can't escape them. But if you stay long enough with them, these feelings want to escape. And then, the fun part begins... : ) Plus: Aurum wrote about seeing through the illusion. Welcome to Maya.

Yeah, it's more living in the moment, realizing it's all there is. And I also had my father issues but when I talked to him after a long time, I realized that the shitty mental image I had of him of the past is plain wrong. Time, memories, images - it all gets blurred. But exactly this is also the power to change. I realize my part in creating the story. I take responsibility and I gain freedom for me and others.

One situation comes to mind: When we got started, my bisexual then-gf told me how few days ago she kissed another girl in a bar and then "took her to the bathroom to touch her pussy". Made me so horny and woke a very primal instinct in me to show her what women can not give her. She continued telling her story in her siren-like voice while we were fucking. She was so very expressive moaning. OMG I love latinas

Many good inputs. Yeah, people intuitively feel you no matter what you do. But also, I had success with very charming, lovely and pretty women without doing ANY of these things you show at 6:40. And while I am happy with my looks, I am not very tall or muscular and nobody would mistake me for Brad Pitt. So I am always sceptic about formulas in how to have success with this or that. It always feels off for me. Of course, I know that I have certain attraction when I am calm, relaxed or energetic and powerful. But when I am insecure, nervous, feeling weak or low self esteem then girls still liked me! Maybe it's because they are then less afraid to show their emotions, or because they trust more that I am not faking anything, who knows?

@Emerald I read through the whole thread. Your posts are incredible valuable for me are this point. You basically put all past and my current relationship into a new perspective. A better one Thanks. Extremely interesting how cultural ideas of masculine/ feminine can be in contrast to a archetypal properties. You mentioned medical journeys (Ayahuasca, peyote or similar I assume). Is this the main source of your insights? Honestly, you're the first person describing the m/f energies in this way. Never read about it, too.

Nice thread. Unlike you guys, I can't remember how and when my ego structure evolved and became so dense. Some fragments, but most is probably still in my subconscious. But I fully resonate with the mechanisms and examples you describe. Gaining control by learning certain behavior, creating stories and believes building self protection structures on top Easing tensions with substances (for me, lots of weed) Complexity with trauma. I could understand many things, mechanisms clearly but also couldn't access it. Blockages that frustrated me for years and nothing I could do on a conscious level, no matter how hard I tried. Hated myself for that (not anymore) Psychedelics - yeah very slippery slope. Without my first LSD experience, I think would never started this journey towards freedom. But IMO they are less the solution and more a catalyzer, jump starter Grace and luck...oh yes. I was very fortunate to get in touch with the methods and people that helped me to ease the density of me ego and thus my suffering Talking of trauma and methods: for everybody being as desperate as I was about not being able to change: I am 100% convinced that's it's possible to access these deep dense structures and to dissolve them. For me, it works in deep meditative states. I can literally feel them. It takes time, it takes the right conditions, it takes the willingness to go through pain but I know that it's possible. Other methods might be better for others but if you are ready, the method will follow.

Good advice. Was thinking about doing a bit of LSD but postponed it until I am stable again. Groundings also makes sense, I was feeling very dream like and that's not vey functional for everyday life and work. Love the sentence "partner we search most aligns with our inner woman". My gf does help intuitively, even if I sometimes have resistance. Must be the mirror experience for her. Quite interesting dynamic and I am very curious to explore this further. You say she can help particularly re Sex. I have ideas why you say that, but can you clarify pls?

Thx for sharing. The tension release I feel too, it's really great. And I can feel the correlation between psyche,body, tensions and letting go. It's all one big puzzle. There are many ways to meditate. Watching breath or just sitting, doing nothing I can really feel how energies start to move. Body scan is currently a bit much but was highly effective during retreat. But everybody is different. My first two retreats had some boring phases. But during the last one so much came up, so much happening that boring is the last word I would use to describe it 😅

@Hojo First sentence I get and agree. The rest is a bit murky. Ok, void, creation, completing polar energies, creating life... I don't get what this means in practical terms except "have passionate and loving sex together"

Nice. It's sometimes easy for me to fall into the "I know" trap. I agree also with "come and see how I act". First person experience of actions instead of talking or writing, making Videos etc Wordless, pathless, effortless is a very nice guidance. I'll keep that in mind. Thx

Good point. I would say: Trust you instincts when to and how to act and when to observe. I believe noone should or can even change one's karma. So maybe person X needs to be locked away or killed bc it's the experience they need to develop? Who knows. Not saying you should never act. Not saying you should always act. Don't be dogmatic but be present and adjust to any situation.

@ExploringReality My experience: be careful not to become to prideful, not too judgemental. Not identifying too much with the "me against them" and "I am doing the real stuff" attitude. You can still make a change without feeling superior. And spiritual green juice is not per se wrong IMO. You have a partner, kid, nice, nephew etc? I can be clear, calm, focused as hell and still care, and still be moved by them

I have very similar experience. For me, talking to people in these states feels like taking to previously unconscious parts of me. Reminds me a lot of the inception scene https://youtu.be/eo5AV4ve7Nw?si=BqF7Hz1RYiJzW0y5

Nice text. Lots of stuff resonated. For me personally, I like to add a bit of playfulness whenever I am able to. Otherwise everything becomes so serious and I had more then enough serious thoughts and experiences so far

Thx for sharing

Statement 2 is sth that I realized just short time ago. You can't influence what appears/ happens. Only choice is to resist or to do it. And re your previous post: I had indeed many many times the experience of God protecting me. It's like jumping from a cliff and then realizing that someone had built a net to catch you long time before you even considered jumping...

Yes, I too believe that location matters. I am aware that much of my development is only possible because I have privileges that allowed me to do what few can do. Yes I overestimate their level of openness, readyness. It's a problem because it scares people away. Imagine someone wakes you up with a bucket of water vs. gently touching you. It's also a problem also because in such situations I place awareness and intention OUTSIDE and on result instead of focusing inside and on what I want to express. Expectations are created, and that creates resistance, and thinking etc. Inside vs outside and expect vs express are a programms that I am changing step by steps but it costs me and others lots of energy in the past. Over time and with many failures there is of course progress. My impression is that deeper exploration of my inner world let me become more and more skilled in communication and seeing my potential influence or its limits

For me: I know it when I see it. Typically, I am too optimistic

Go make your experiences. Do whatever you feel is right. If you suceed, I congratulate : ) If you find that you are feeling like Don quijote fighting the wind mills - don't take it personal. That's just the way the cards have been stacked

Yes I feel like sharing too. But I learn to see it like that: The knowledge about basically everything is already there. Everybody can read Stanislav Grov, Yogasutra, Buddhas teachings, etc etc etc. Everybody could so shadow work, therapy, meditation etc. But few are doing it. So why is the world they way it is? Because everything is a process. Same reason it took me many years and different people for me to slowly wake up (still doing that, oc). It's like playing a puzzle. Imagine you come and tell this person how to do this. No fun for nobody. If they ask for support - that's sth else. I also like Alan Watts quote: "When you dance, you don't dance to get to the other side if the room as fast as possible. You dance to dance".

Do it yourself. Just do you. To not try to communicate it. Let people disvover it on their own. If they are ready, they will ask for guidance. If not ready, you waste your engery and get frustrated in the process. Why do I think that? Personal experience. Many failures in trying to convey messages. The psycological concept of reactance comes to my mind.