theleelajoker

@MVPJOURNEY Thanks for your thoughtful reply. I can relate, very similar experience /learning curve for me. Taking things less personal, seeing the patterns that arise and are flowing through me and others and working with them constructively. I can also see for instance how my life is synchronized with "others". The things you write - aligning, thought structure, more conscious choice of partner - is sth I just experienced with a woman last night when we were talking and exchanged your POV about life. Once I became aware of this, it's incredibly obvious. I can see my actions in almost in every detail being reflected with others, almost instantly. There's this quote "be the change you want to see" ...well, this was always the case just took me long time to see. The thing you write about the realizing the thought structure, the POV of realizing the dream as @JoshB and @Inliytened1 are pointing out. Yeah maybe I don't see what they see, I don't know what I don't know. But to find out, the best strategy is IMO not to see what others KNOW, but how they ACT. But I am at a point where I do my best to take all understanding, all knowledge, all meta only as a tool for improved, more constructive action,, especially interaction with others. "Knowledge is useless if it's not used" my ex once said. I was stuck in only understanding most my life and see now how it kept me from actually doing and living.

Thanks for sharing 🙏 And congratulations for breaking the loop, happy things are going well for you now

Makes you feel lonely? Because I certainly do feel lonely at times for exactly this reason you mentioned. U can call it different wavelength or "how the **** can you not see and experience what I am experiencing?"

+1 Vipassana meditation helped significantly, even if it did not erase all my addictions completely

@Someone here just want to say that I get you. Sometimes I feel like you do, and then I get the same advice you are getting now (also from me lol) and ...it doesn't really help. Sometimes it's impossible for me to forget and "just enjoy the moment be busy do this so that etc" So, long story short, you're not the only one having this kind of experience. Sometimes it just sucks.

Ok, I can follow. I am aware that I am that process. Question is: how's your personal experience? Your chains are broken, you feel this ecstasy you describe? Sometimes? Anytime? You have control or it just happens. You say if you really want, you can go back. This is what you are doing, at will?

Do you SAY this based on mental concepts or do you FEEL the openness? If the latter, are there ups and downs or is it constant feeling?

Vicious circle? Because what you will do differently will depend on how you will look at life. How exactly you will look at life depends on the experiences you make. Which depends on the actions you take. The actions you don't know to take. Am I correctly stating your problem? One thing that comes to my mind: the assumption that an answer can be found at all. Or that the answers are constant instead of moving targets. I would question these assumptions if I were you

Yes. Exactly my experience. And the subconsious knows this. You can hide it as deep as you want, but you always know. So there is a constant tension, a fragmentation of "I want to continue this existence" and "I want to end this existence". Last night I got a drunk because of this emptyness and nihilism, simple desperation out of experiencing the world as you described above. Went to a bar alone, met some very nice and friendly people. They tried to talk me out of desperation - "go make what interests you, go have fun, go meet another girl, go do this and that hobby, live in the moment" etc. And I appreciate their intention, they REALLY made an effort, invested time and energy to cheer me up. But I did not want to be cheered up. I could not be cheered up. I cannot NOT feel this... emptyness, this going in circles, this feeling of "this is going nowhere", this can't you see how fucked up this is? Can't you see what you are hiding? Can't you see how you fight yourself, hurting yourself, hurting others by ignoring what is?" At the end I just said to the others "just tell me you feel it, too. Just say that you know what I am talking about" YES that "unconsiously perceiving and creating" of structures, that's the thing. For me, once I have started to see it, it's everywhere. @BreakingthewallLet's assume that your therory about the human matrix is correct (which, as of now, I believe to be the case). My conclusions, which are in large parts also based on your previous content, are as of now: "Reality" creates - trough suffering, which creates pressure to adapt - more individuals that feel and see these parts of reality that are not yet fully integrated There is a hope, a chance that evolution might create something "better" through this process But there seems to be a problem that might (?) be unsolvable: To experience reality, you need movement, relation between people, things (I took that from you ) This experience creates a separation, or at least a feeling of separation, Something other than wholesomeness and unity Reality is then infinitely creating reflections that appear as other in our personal experience And this separation is neccessary. Because, otherwise: How to know how to live, how to create, what to do with life? You can't do it alone. You NEED a reflection, because you cannot see yourself with your own eye, you cannot see and experience yourself without a mirror reflection. You know this experience of standing in front of your friend, partner, family etc and having this feeling of "CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING? CAN'T YOU SEE THAT WHAT YOU WANT IS NOT WHAT YOU NEED? CAN'T YOU SEE YOU ARE HURTING YOURSELF ?HURTING OTHERS? CAN YOU REALLY NOT SEE THIS? IT'S SO OBVIOUS, JUST LOOK! I have this feeling all the fucking time and others have this with me, as well As long as there is this separation, nobody feels whole, nobody feels complete. You are always missing SOMETHING, no matter how hard you try. The longing for true connection, for unity is incredibly strong So people tell you "go be happy on your own" - but you CANNOT BE COMPLETELY ALONE AND EXPERIENCE YOURSELF at the same time But you also cannot live in duality, because the longing for unity, the desire to be whole again feels incredibly shitty But YOU ALSO can't be alone, because then you can't experience yourself. Live. Die. Repeat. Dead end. Game over. In the bar interaction yesterday, one of the women at the very end - after me pushing her again and again to look at existence itself - said: "I believe we failed a species. I wish I could go back and undo the big bang, but it's not possible to go back. So we have to make the best of what is" Now some speculation: So maybe the "universe, reality, existence" created this reality in an attempt of hope to solve this aporia, this dilemma of separation (existence, experience) and unity (non-existence, non-experience) But it's not working. So what do we do? We slowly kill our world. Climate change, cancer, alcohol, war, drugs... So what's the hope? The hope that there is SOME WAY that can be found to solve this dilemma. And to go full circle, the mechanism for this hope seems to be suffering. This is not good, keep on going, keep on trying, wake up, change, change, change, feel the pain, you need to try something else, move further forward because there is no other choice but to keep trying. I am sorry I created this realiy, I had no other choice, but I can't undo it. Please say Hello to Sisyphos. The boulder just rolled down the mountain. Tell him to give me a call once he finished the job Curious if that makes sense, let me know where you feel like my mind went of the rails

If you knew the answers to your questions, what would change?

It's crazy, I'm reading this and I see this in people all the time: looking for positive, avoiding everything that does not feel light, scared of just feeling what is. It's like people on the one hand silently scream for integration of these "negative" feelings. The body creates blockages, pain, density in the psychic structure that make your life super hard. Even when talking, people's language seems for me to be full of hints, asking for these tensions to be released. But on the other hand, as soon as these feelings are approached, when the opening takes place, the reaction is typically aggression (typical male reaction, "you suck") or retreat (women, "I want good vibes") Of course I have this too, this avoidance. But it's getting much better. So it's like you describe, seems we have to go the path inch by inch. For instance I don't care anymore about crying. I cry in public, with friends around, I cry on dates if it happens. Last time I did it seemed to help other people to allow their sadness as well which gives me evidence for the silent screams I believe to observe

I am only superficially familiar with his work. But his idea of the collective unconscious is something that resonates strongly with me. After some recent meditation retreats, I have the feeling that in certain situations I can get access to this, being aware of far more then just my personal experience and personal past. It feels more like a stream of information that is in a order of "personal, family, cultural, global" I think he also talked a lot about shadows, which makes sense for me too.

For me: yes

First time I am quoting myself. Brothers and sisters, please stop this meta only stuff at least for this thread ok? Free yourself. Or in other worlds: get the fuck out of your head. Posts related to direct experience only. Pragmatics stuff. Real life application tied to the physical experience we have here, no speculation. Thaaaaaank you 😘

The best response often came to me five minutes afterwards 😂 Best strategy to me is no strategy. Sometimes I have a clever response, sometimes I feel humiliation, sometimes I freeze, sometimes I get angry and show it, sometimes I get angry but keep it to myself, sometimes I get angry and also act very aggressive towards the other person, sometimes I give a very loving response and /or make friendly physical contact, sometimes I laugh with them, sometime I just make or seek very strong eye contact, etc etc Be fluid. Be flexible. Allow the flow. The more open you get, the more powerful your response. But if I had to give one strategy as "best practice" then it's eye contact. Do that and then see what happens next

@MuadDibDid you do it? Do you use tarot cards?

@Loving RadianceHmm...not sure I understand what you mean. How do you describe getting lost in the grieving process? For me, being lost implies that there is a way that can and should be followed. Which is exactly my point - it's a pathless path. Different for everyone, every time and trying to follow SOME concepts, to find ANY outward orientation is what is likely to get you lost in the first place. If I misunderstood, please correct me. Good chance I'm missing your point

Carful about projections, also towards yourself. I don't know you but just looking at your content in this forum, I clearly lean towards healthy. Talk about it with your girl, be open be transparent and especially be aware. Her reactions - in particular body language - will show you in a very clear way when it's exactly what she wants/ needs and when you're crossing a line. At least that's my experience and with few exceptions (that spanking was too hard, that pull of hair too much) the actions above are all you need to be aligned in sex. And even if you miss alignment - so what? You simply move bit by bit, inch by inch, carful and aware of your actions so it will never be too harsh if you miss the mark a bit. If it happens, I say I'm sorry, I am more gentle next time and the girl has the experience that setting a boundary works if she speaks up.

How is this in any way constructive? At least tell say what could be done instead. "What about stop doing X and try Y instead" Personally I am very happy that he's contributing to this forum and I learned a lot from his content no matter if I agree (often) or disagree (sometimes) Simply the idea of "openness" as guideline for my life created a significant positive shift. Tanks for that @Breakingthewall But: your input is sometimes very abstract and I would welcome more personal experience and less mental concepts. Helps me to understand and integrate the information you give Real life situation in which you acted, observed, responded etc etc. That's also openness IMO

❤️ Takes courage to admit that you don't know. Takes courage to admit that you can't do sth. Who knows what impact your post has on others that have/had/will have same or similar experience (including me)

Resonates. Well expressed. When you say "make it scientific" I think of an approach I follow as best as I can in interactions: What do I really feel like doing right now? What is constructive, what is my energetic pull? Same questions for the other person. Sometimes I ask the other one directly, sometimes I act intuitively. I believe it's a skill you can develop. Reading one's own energy signature, reading the other one's and then acting accordingly The more closed a person is, the harder the process becomes. Vice versa with openness. Typically, when all parties are doing a good job, being authentic, as honest as possible, then the actions synchronize to a win win. If you take care of the hive, the hive takes care of you.

Yeah I think this point is crucial: no matter how he was, what he experienced etc - he's different and everybody needs to find his/her own way. Looking outwards at others for orientation is great and helpful - but not to imitate, but to use that information to create your own way. Like cooking, great to look for recipes but everyone likes his meal different

Hmm get where you're coming from. I can see the problem you're describing. Just not sure if it's the right strategy. Tell a guy that is stuck in his "masculine" programming that he needs to integrate the feminine, what's likely gonna happen? He's gonna resist, get defensive, he's gonna attack both the message and the messager. What do I propose instead? As a man: If another man is super stuck in his "gotta be more masculine" program, tell him and SHOW him that he will "get pussy" by acting in a way that integrated the things Emerald talks about. If the man already has a woman he loves, tell him and SHOW him that this will help him to keep this woman at his side bc otherwise she will go for the more integrated man at some point As a woman: pick only the men that do act integrated and be smart enough not to fall for your own mental traps. Don't seek self -value by choosing men that behave in a harmful way. Help your female friends to make good choices. Just imagine for a second that all women act more consciously and ignore all men that show toxic behavior and instead choose the one that act in a more integrated way. Within one day the "masculine" guys will be begging the "more integrated men" to tell them how to get women. Sent clear signals, no mixed messages, no double binds. Clear communication about what you want and need. Women have all the power but you don't realize yet how much and /or you don't know how to use this power yet And don't call it "integration of feminine". This creates resistance. They will say "I am a man, not a woman!" Talk the language of men. Explain them that they are made of atoms, and that atoms are made of something, and that integration and making use of this something makes you strong and powerful...and that this process makes them more attractive for women (see point 2 above). I experienced that women can get very horny when I was just nice, authentic and interested getting to know them. Why I know this? Because they told me 😄 Verbally ("you make me so horny") and nonverbally. If it's true and authentic for you, tell a man this. We're programmed to respond to such signals IMO. It's very easy to steer men in the right direction. Feed him, show your emotions, trust your intuition, send clear signals and be gentle. Same time, physical contact is key. As much as you need as much as you are comfortable with. Slight touch, hug, holding hands, cuddling, sex. But whatever you do, don't "promise" anything you don't really feel like doing. Don't send signals that you're interested in getting to know a guy is all you want is simply attention. Don't send signals that indicate sex if all you need is a hug. Otherwise that will create disappointment and aggression. So getting to know yourself is key for a a harmonic dance between men and women : )

Griev - yes. Sharing - yes. Friends can help - yes. But IMO, be very careful with the 7 stage model. It's a programm you upload in your mind and IT'S NOT REALITY. It's a mental model. It's a cultural conditioning. It might create a mental path that you feel like you should follow while dangerously distancing you from the present moment and present feeling. In my experience, it's best to make yourself free of all concepts.