theleelajoker

I see that language is ultimately 1/0, because that's the function of it. Making differences, labeling, making judgements. So intelligence is NOT in the center of being? How? How you do it?

You have a point. I did appreciate my personal most aesthetic face + body combo, and if I had the choice, I rather have that again in a woman than not. I clearly enjoyed it and still enjoy that. But what I am saying: Why put any rating on it? Just say "I find her beautiful, attractive, whatever" instead of putting a number on her and compare to other humans. There is NOTHING gained by doing that instead of ego, status games (see @joshe posts). And a lot is lost from it IMO.

@vibv OK thx for explanation. So if I get you right, it's about the intellectual process of labeling things, actions, of judging them black /white, 0/1, while not seeing that they are actually two sides of the same coin? Freeing us means then freeing us from the urge to looks for a one sided coin and instead accept the paradoxical nature of life? It yes to the questions above, it's something Alan Watts talks about quite a lot in his talks. If not already familiar with him it might be sth for you

Yeah I guess there are several points to it It's a bit similar to money. We all believe that this piece of paper has this and this value,but it's artificial. So Hollywood and brands tell us what's "hot" and we believe that Even if you have a cultural perspective - agreeing with you on that - it seems we tend to forget that the perspective is not absolute. What's the ideal of beautiful changed over time a lot It doesn't seem healthy the way it's seen now in our culture, does it? Actually seems really fucked up to me given all that manipulative pick up stuff, frustration across both men and woman and unhappy stories about dating and relationship.

@vibvDon't get what you mean with "world" and your explanation for it. What does that distinction mean for you, Maya , world, logic and reason? What you mean "everybody stays in his her one simulation" how does that look practically? As of today, I think there's no one that needs to be freed. Everybody just playing his/ her role. Just my impression who knows maybe I'm right maybe I'm wrong

Changed states of consciousness /awakenings / Kundalini experiences, whatever you might call it, were and are not always easy to handle for me. Sometimes still not easy. Could indeed describe it as loosing ground, because all the believes that gave security and comfort are suddenly gone. Bam, there goes everything you thought about life in an instant. But I got/ get used to it. Key for me was/ is to stay in touch with people and to stay active. Talking, going out, sports, etc. My state changed, so I met others that felt similar, which reduces the feeling of "insane" and makes it "normal". IMO worst thing to do is to retreat from life, best thing is to live as fully as possible. And to trust.

Tears from laughing real hard! 🤣

Yes I think that at times, I have been in this trap myself. Not sure I am completely out of it, tbh. Of course I liked the girls I dated very much, there was alignment in values, communication etc. And I dated women that my friends did not consider as hot, but I found them hot and did not care about others opinion. But I also know that at other times, part of me was generating self value through me having a very hot gf and thus getting status through it from others. I remember this feeling very clearly. It's all a learning process... If you don't get laid for several years, maybe you should start to change your approach towards women. Getting to know women I struggled with when I was younger, now it happens very smoothly. It's really just about being open and interested in them as human beings + listening to what I need right now, being in touch with myself and my body + being authentic and not giving a **** what others think. I'm one those struggling with the maintenance Just the simple idea of rating 7,8,9, 10 and value is so stupid. It's a mindfuck and I don't get how this BS came into western culture. What is the rating mechanism? Looks? Sure, you need sexual attraction, but this only partially based on looks, it's a lot about the connection and subtle things like smell. Is it also material stuff, status? Well, good luck cuddling status. It will surely keep you warm at night. And the big villa feels pretty empty when there is no one that understands you. Is it personality? Then it becomes impossible to rate, because it's subjective and everybody needs different personality as an individual match. OK and even IF you put some rating on personality, it's not a fixed thing. People change, yourself change. Moreover, people are who they are also because the way you relate to them, the way you see them and behave towards according to this.

I appreciate the intention for clarity, but also very much like the personal stuff. It's easier to relate to for me when it's not only meta. Personal stories matter IMO. And with certain meta topics, it's similar for me - can't stop contemplating and need to articulate it as well How is the level of interpretation when you are interacting with other people, animals etc? I say this because if I noticed that when I am truly engaged, present in (inter)action, then the interpretation slows down. You said in a different thread you don't interact much, that might become vicious cycle. Too much thinking earlier in my life, too little interaction, which causes more thinking, etc etc

For me too

What's the best strategy when you exchange the goal of "sleep with high quality women on regular basis" with "being happy, maximizing your personal understanding of love"?

Yeah. So Hi JoshB, nice to meet you Thanks for being here, thanks for interacting

You would be surprised. Did you not realize yet, that "the environment" adapts to what you do and say? Go and prove me wrong

Love the last part. Infinite variables ❤️

I bring the drinks!

Yes I see that trend among men too. Maybe better communication among men/women will lead to less aggression and crime. And to not necessarily more, but better sex

Maybe would help those guys to stop calling it "game", to stop looking for sex only and to start to look for true connection

Yes. What trend do you see among men/women within your bubble of experience? What trend would you like to see?

Yes I see your point about knowing who to ask about whom:) But I disagree about "average" because it's just a construct. The older I get, the more I appreciate the unique individuality of people. But who knows, maybe we can soon order a "average" programmed AI woman (and man) online

"But as a guy I want to have a deeper understanding of female psychology" I recommend talking to females The quality of input varies, as every one seems to have a different level of self reflection, self awareness etc. But when you ask women about other women the replies have been very good to great in my experience.

What's practical then in your POV?

"Becoming conscious of what is = insight= change how you relate to it". I like that. Did you create meaning by creating sth I like? 🧐

Ok, I'll let you know once I've been through the process as well

You have been through this process? And now you're back in attachment, reality?

Reality ceases to exist?