theleelajoker

Thanks! Now I am getting practical value form the "nothing" approach Just isn't noticeable because of linearity. How the dream abstracts, how it interprets and process --> this makes sense. It's a function that is - probably - not understandable for my tiny mind. This part is still a bit tricky unclear: It's all nothing being everything. We're just playing what seems to be catch-up. It's already done and that's why processes and practices are futile in this sense. I get the "catching up" part like this: So everything happening instantaneously, but linear mind has to process time to experience what already has been created Couldn't practices make us more aware of a) this process and b) more conscious of what we are creating? At least that is my impression from the last years before I was not aware of the intensity of my reflections Moreover, any experience/input how this exactly works, how the dream is reading and creating stuff? I recently watched "play test" Episode, black mirror season 3. Feels a bit like this

@HojoInteresting idea but doesn't fully reflect my experience. I guess the mirror can not always work backwards, otherwise I would never have a friendship, or a relationship with a woman, because it requires both parties to like each other at least to a degree, right? Also, then I wouldn't have the massive amount of synchronicities that are happening. I agree that there has to be some duality that is being created, so to give me some attribute (smart, funny, interesting etc) there has to be the creation of the opposite somewhere. Someone has to be less funny, less smart, less interesting etc Any further input from anyone?

I relate re seeing the divine in everything, even me typing this message on the phone. It's not always necessary to seek the extraordinary, the comfortable, the super high state. That's something I am also learning and integrating. However, seeing the divine everywhere and enjoying it, living in it's flow, appreciating it can be two different things. It's a vibe of "I like being here" vs. "I am here" or even "I don't want to be here". Speaking from experience And few people give off the first vibe a lot...

I think she has point. Isn't just opening the thread a way of doing something, creating action, reaction? You could even go so far that all the suffering is better then nothing, better then being bored to death on your own. Excitement is maybe too narrow, I would phrase it as something going on (that makes you feel alive).

Back to free will, I think someone already mentioned black and white thinking. So maybe we are already in a problem assuming it's one or the other? There is free will vs. there is none. There is "someone" having will, or nobody having anything? Same as saying there is no one, but the illusion is real? It's a paradox that's why we should not try to fit it in such language.

+1

For every time someones makes an argument of "there is no one, nothing is happening" I invite this person to participate in such sports. If there is no one, nobody can be hit, right? (If it's free will that this person participates, that's another discussion ) https://www.tiktok.com/@powerslap/video/7467209809897606446?lang=de-DE The illusion feels real, so while the "no one here" discussion has some advantage re taking a healthy distance from things, I have the feeling one can overdo it and looses its practical value. And that's what this is all about, isn't it? **** right and wrong, let's go what has the most practical value in living a "good" life.

Resonates. This "ok it's all one thing and it's all me" insight. Not as detailed as you describe, it's more feeling it in every day interactions. No LSD but meditation as trigger. Did not have the exit option as clear as you did, no light seeing , it felt I could leave but was scared. Had the same process to the insight - the "OK shit" reaction was only because my mind, my persona was trained for many years and culture to believe otherwise. When these layers of believe slowly fade away, then it's easier to accept that it has been like this all the time. Just made a thread with similar idea about "others" few hours ago. How this reflection stuff works etc. And the pulling the rug experience I have too. It's not only that those people don't exist, every "help" they need - and even if it's just a friend that needs someone to listen to - is just created out of thin air. To tell this a psychologist devoting his life to"curing" people lol Don't feel like definitely going back to the singularity (or wherever I&you came from) but would be nice to visit and then - maybe, probably - consciously decide to go back and make the best out of this experience here. After all, we came here to leave singularity, right?

Ok thanks sometimes it's just wording, definitions, interpretation that creates the idea of differences rather then the actual difference. I think someone (you?) made a point like this before and I agree. Also I know feel like reading his book 😂

Read through the whole thread. Sometimes it seems that @Breakingthewall propose apple pie 🥧🍎 while @Natasha Tori Maru @Joshe &Co are proposing strawberry pie 🥧 🍓 as the solution to suffering. Maybe let's go a mix 🍓 🍎 🥧? Striving for openness, seeing suffering as evolutionary mechanism but also seeing how we can stop creating certain thoughts and emotional responses? Not sure if I follow completely every point of everyone, but it seems a bit "either/ or" instead of can be a "bit of both." I recall that believes can make a huge difference in what works and how (placebo)

Actually yes, it bothers me. First is the lying part. And second it's creating a feeling of manipulation, the starting point was "love food" and the response seems to be designed in a way to artificially connect. And strange joke with the camera being to drunk. I would have preferred: "ok, you love eating food. Anything else or it's just that? Usual self talk on a Sunday afternoon, or you actually want to go somewhere with this?"

"But my closure rate is 300%. There are three of them and they take turns."

And follow up the day after: "She refused the kiss, kicked me in the nuts and now I am in a sex dungeon. Any advice on how to open the handcuffs?"

@Hojo Yes I had an experience like that on Friday. I just sat there, in a bar and everything felt ...strange. Energy flowing through my body. My legs were shaking. I did simply nothing, and it felt like stuff is suddenly offered to me out of nowhere. Drinks, a smoke, women flirting... So you think it's a power play, again and again? Because sometimes it feels like it, but I just wonder if there is not a more constructive way to play more with and less against each other. Or maybe I am delusional even imagining that? And just look at @starlight321 comment LOL Fits really well : )

@Hojo Interesting take. Really interesting. I agree on the "we do it even if we don't feel good". I have enough examples to see that, including myself. The direction society is going - yeah did not see it that way but there is something to it. Gives a lot of basis to the incel and black pill stuff, you loose your way of getting things - control and power - and you don't know how to do it differently. So you get frustrated, scared, angry and direct it outwards. So let's keep playing the game, shall we? : )

So the women are doing what we all are doing with reality? Sticking to some kind of image in our head as long as we like the story, feel good and are entertained?

@Hojo This is IMO such a valuable and funny comment! Valuable because especially this aligns so well with some of my experiences. Reminds me of times when I fucked it up because I was talking too much about myself and not let her do her "image in the head" thing. Bold marked by me - SO TRUE. Sometimes I just let it go when they said this or that about me. I was like "OK if you want to think this, alright. I don't care, that is not important to me". But sometimes I felt the need to correct her image of me. I said something and I remember the irritated look on her face, as if physically destroying the image of me in her head. Almost could hear a loud bang LOL. In hindsight I can see how I destroyed some mystery and fantasy. And I can see how it hurt my chances with her and I should have known better and just STFU. But re other times, I was happy to correct her because I don't want a intimate relationship where I am just a projection of her fantasy, I want her to know me as I am and not as I she wants me to be. I don't do vague answers on purpose or as a strategy. If she asks me a question that I care about, then I express myself openly. If she ask me uninteresting stuff, then I answer vaguely or re-direct into something more interesting. Quality of reply correlates with quality of questions. This is the funny part. It really is. If I watch closely, then you can see the mysterious part building up, or the destruction of the mystery happening in real life, just look at the eyes, facial expression and body language On the weekend I had a date and I saw the woman wanted to ask some stuff about me, she had this gaze in her eyes and was clearly checking me out. I said something like "if you want to know something, you can but also you need to ask". She was hesitating for a while, and then said sth along "No, if I ask I might destroy something and I like you as you are right now" ---> They know they are doing it In the end, for me it's about the balance. Being too open destroys some of the mysterious fantasy. There is no need to talk a lot about every little thing. But being too closed prevents true connection among each other. I also know other guys that use this vagueness like you say as a strategy to appear interesting, attractive etc. While it works re being interesting for women, it feels for me that they always "play a role" and are never themselves, never truly expressing. I guess it's like always - depends on what you want out of life. A good "middle way" is often for me to express myself with actions and less with words. I once read sth like "if you can express what you want to say with an action, then prefer action before words".

Ok, I guess we can more or less settle this I also get you. For me similar - casual encounters, F+, ONS etc are nice but ultimately deep connection with one woman is the intention. My point is that being more picky makes me somehow more interesting because there seems to be a "Ok he's not like others, that is interesting" effect, at least with some women. So if I am looking for sex, it's rarely happening. Not looking for sex I seem to become 500% more attractive and obviously, there are enough fantastic women out there that stuff happens sooner or later. But re quantity, I know friends that chase quantity and do get quantity. So you also have a point here. Who can be positive about anything? Life, my own action, actions of others, my subconscious, their subconscious ..it can be quite a mess I think it's all about the definition of "bond", "connection" etc. Now thinking about it, I actually have a hard time defining it myself. Giving it a try I would say it's the degree of being authentic when the other is around, a harmony, a synchronicity in actions and desires, a feeling of calm and happiness throug simple presence of the other, showing and sharing emotions, exchanging intimate information with each other, also being able to be in silence together, a certain amount and intensity of experiences you go through together, physical intimacy, behaving as if one was alone even when being together, alignment in values and direction in life. And then there is a certain "I don't know factor" with this person that I can't put into words. Just having a special place in my heart. Each of these factors (and more I forgot now) then goes from a scale from 1 to infinity.... And I talked about traveling, but it's not limited to that. The interactions I talk about include every kind of scenario, placed I stayed for a day, week, month, year..up to 7 years that's the most time I stayed in one place since childhood. What I mean is that having traveled a lot, studying or working in different countries, I believe I interact differently with people compared to others that did not have these experiences. Different degree of openness. Right now I am in the same city for about 5 years. Been there. Yes. I hear friends talk about it but it's not my thing, so I don't really know. If they are in a romantic relationship, and I know about it, I stay away. Women that cheat are not attractive for me. Fits my experience. Fits my experience. Ok, so giving the goal of maximizing "high quantity of hookups", I agree. If it's the "right" goal for an individual we discussed above

Love your response 😄

+1 If she's texting you, she's interested. What this interest is leading to is what it's about to find out. Welcome to life

Challenge accepted ; ) Experience so far is that the individual dynamics was far more important. Distance was not a factor. I think it all depends on the individual definition of "bonding". I like people, so I like to get to know people and connect to them at least to degree. And the reason why is connected to the next point... ....because I had too many times where I "just had sex with XYZ" and there was an empty feeling afterwards. This feeling of "OK I actually could have done without it". Just sex for the sake of having sex does not give me much. There are ONS I enjoy, but I don't feel like going for every opportunity just because there's "tits and ass" in front of me lol Some of my friends follow different approach, but I believe it stems from a cultural narrative of "lots of sex = great" and/or sex als seeking approval and self-value. I know guys chasing to maximize amount of sex, otherwise super healthy guys, taking Viagra in their 30s. Well, everybody as his/her own way. IMO there is the missing component of "quality of sex*quantity = great". And quite ironically: becoming more picky - to say it in your terms - seems "get me laid more" I see where there is a risk. Especially because people are - for own experience or cultural programming - used to one way of experiencing life. Communication is key, every time and with everyone a bit different. Some of it is implicit of course but not all. Of course I communicate with body language, and subtle hints, and reading between the lines. But I am sometimes also VERY explicit in how I see this interaction, what my intentions are, if I plan to see her again, if I just want to go to my room and have fun or if I am really interested in getting to know her more etc etc. Whatever I feel is the right way, implicit or explicit, in the moment. Saying it's nonsense is just a different way of saying "I did not experience this yet". Again, I have sufficient evidence that it works. Just yesterday a girl where I had a ONS with and she was interested in more, I wasn't, she send me a message by accident, then realizing that it was the wrong chat. Tiny interaction followed and ended with her wishing me "have a great day". That truly made me smile. There was zero bad vibes, just harmony on both sides. Because at every step, we were communicating as clearly, openly and respectfully as possible. I believe a huge difference might be that I have been traveling a lot in my life. Backpacking, without home, just going around the world. You often know "OK I only stay here for one day, one week and never come back". So you assume that you will never see the other again + there is great openness to connect and to have a great time. So in my POV there is a incredible intuitive understanding of "traveler mindset" across people that traveled a lot: This person in this moment is great for me, the moment will pass, but let's make the goddamn fucking best out what we have right now and we do this by simply letting go, by being authentic and expressing as freely as possible"

If you want to understand why living next to the club is NOT important, you will need to understand what I said. If don't care to understand, then continue holding your current view of things. And if you want to leave your current mysogenous perspective on women as "children that don't take responsibility", then you need to understand that your personal projection is a) your bias of motives and behavior and not what really is and b) even if it was so, it can not be generalized from personal experience to "women are like XYZ"

😁😁😁

That is your projection of reality, which you expand from personal experience with subjective filter to a generalizated statement. My personal experience is very different. I gave examples above and I am unlike your statement it's not a projection. Yes sometimes I could see how she intentionally guided our interactions towards sex while she was doing it. But much more, they told me what they did or said, when and how, what their thought process was at the moment etc. 100% responsibility. No idea what you get from painting women as "children" that don't take responsibility but IMO it's a harmful narrative and plainly very wrong.