theleelajoker

Yeah fear seems to be very central to this experience we call life. I already wrote it few days ago in another thread, feels l like the "play test" episode on Black mirror E2S3

Puhhhh...the honest answer is of course that it's different many times. Sometimes I stopped and reacted to the fear. Could not go into it. Accepting that I wasn't ready. Just too much of fear, feeling like dying, almost like a reflex when you touch fire you have this survival instinct of automatically withdrawing the hand. Other times I can stay more consistent, breath, try to stay as still as possible. Second n'y second, inch by inch facing it. Or that times I take a break, few moments, minutes, and give it a go again. My body reacts sometimes quite strong, close to throwing up, or becoming dizzy. Then I just try to not throw up and just stay conscious lol Sometimes I move a bit, let the energy find a channel, or actually let my body be moved by ... Let's call it inner energy. Sometimes I do some mental self talk "OK stay, breath, focus, relax....". Or I tell my self "ok that's what you want, you want to face this fear, so do your best" reframing it as something I want to experience vs. something I want to avoid (of course that alone is not sufficient as I can feel the fear physically) Other times I play with the focus of my attention, within or outside my body Hope that helps in some way re your question. Will experiment the next days maybe something good will come up

Well, I am in the middle of it, with lots ups and downs. Long story short: what helped and still helps me most: Get into my body, physical stuff: dancing, swimming, running, bike, cuddling, sauna, stretching, yoga, breathing, etc etc Being social, meeting people, being open, being authentic. Simply by putting myself out there, "life" puts me into touch with great people that are more or less on the same stage Relax. Goal is to be relaxed anytime, anywhere, in any situation. I tell myself consciously to relax, I check where I hold tensions in my body and relax them as good as possible. It's reprogramming myself to do this as good as possible. Enjoy the ride PS: I do all the things above simply for me to feel good. But doesn't matter if you're a man or woman, the great side effect is that the quality of my interactions with others increase. Or as the guys in the forum would call it, "better game" lol

You do things that have no purpose only for one reason - you like doing simply for the sake of doing. It's play. The real "result" is the activity itself, the apparent result just a means to an end. Welcome to the show, grab some popcorn 🍿. Enjoy the ride.

You mentioned gender war and I see it a lot, going both ways. A lot of emphasis on differences and superiority instead of appreciating the differences and leaning from each other. Don't know how representative it is, but I was lucky to have an 2 years older sister with whom I have a great relationship. So for me it was normal since my birth to learn from a woman, and to have a woman around me that a) was not my mother and b) not interesting for me beyond her being my sister. (It can be hard to keep friendships between m-f if there is attraction) Men often seem too insecure to learn from women while for me it often was a "jackpot" to learn from female friends, girlfriends, family: Free knowledge? Different perspective? Experiences I don't have access to? Amazing, tell me, show me If I had to name one thing that I learned through the women I met in my life, then it's intuition. Seeing how they do and them putting me in touch with mine. If I had to name one thing I believe I could put women more in touch with, it's a vibe of clarity and calmness. Not to prove that I am detached or stoic, just balancing the energies. And to pass on calmness, I need to be clam myself of course. (Not saying that I'm calm or have clarity all the time, but it's something I sometimes can tap into to create a comfortable vibe.) So, to put a positive touch on the whole gender stuff: What did or do you learn as a man from women? And vice versa, what you learn as a woman from men? Where do you experience synergy effects? PS: A quote comes to mind. Audre Lorde: 'It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.' She said it more in a context of racism, but I believe it perfectly fits in gender stuff, too

Sounds like a good approach

Recently, other people I meet and interact with seem to be...well, just reflections of my current or previous thoughts, emotions, actions, or projections/. believes. Many small details about recent experiences, lifestyle and other details match very closely. Sometimes, it seems that another person has just been created according to my current state, it's like an assembly line that constantly creates new mirror images. So one the one hand it's nice, because I am connected to "external reality", realizing that nothing is truly external. On the other hand, it becomes harder for me to take others (or myself) seriously. How sentient is the individual if it's "only" a reflection from the mirror factory? Also, those others have knowledge that goes beyond what they could know within their individual 3-D reality. For instance, a person I just met makes an insider joke that is only known to me and another person. (Yeah once okay but things like this become a routine). It's not only people but at times also other appearances - I have a certain mood and then songs appear that fit that mood tremendously well (again, once okay but it's really out of the ordinary) So, it feels more like I am in interaction with "something" that a) just takes different appearances and forms b) is somehow related to everything that is happening on my field of awareness (which is all I got and all I have ever known of reality). So, while being aware that if others meet IRL are part of this something, then others in this forum are as well: Any opinions? How does this mirroring work? So I am also just a mirror for others the same they are for me? How to best communicate & interact? I know about the idea of Indras net of jewels for instance, that's the best symbol to describe my experience. All in all this feels very solipsistic.

Nobody knows what anybody wants to know and somebody pretends to know while everybody watches.

I was not talking about a glass of water. As said above, two relationships evolved out of me really wanting to be with this woman. Jobs is another example, and when I found them I was definitely not in a "having" state. Same with a flat for instance. Where you get me more is this part : The resistance.... that's something I can actually feel. How much resistance do I have towards something. That makes much more sense to me then the "having" mindset. I can seek, but I don't have resistance towards not having it right now Thanks will let that sink in..

Both. Saying that I experienced both, also I wanted sth and really got it while still caring about it. So it's sometimes opposite, sometimes attracting what you want? Like a sinus curve? Random for my tiny mind, forever random 😂

But is it REALLY like that? I read this new age idea a lot, and I have instances where it is true. I stopped caring about sth and suddenly, boom it happens. But also, I have instances where I got what I wanted by just setting the intention, or action, or both. Did none of you really ever got what he wanted?

Hm so every life is different for everybody of course. There was for instance one time I met a girl and I was immediately into her, really crazy my type, very beautiful and very cool, too. So I really wanted to be with her, really made an effort to court her without being too much and after a few months we eventually became a couple. That gave me the believe that if you really stay consistent and honest with your intention and feelings, it eventually (can) pay off. However, I tried to repeat this intention in the relationship with her - "ok let's make this work"- and it didn't Bottom line - really liking something/ someone and honestly feeling that must not preclude you by definition from this experience happening. Might be your personal karma, who knows.

Fair point, it's all subjective. So you never succeeded with a woman you found attractive? I kind of see what you're saying, and I remember occasions of me not wanting to be with others made them suddenly want me. But as I said, if it was always like that you would never have a relationship, never get with a woman you like etc. I often I got what I wanted - if it was a woman, a job, a flat etc etc.

Hm not sure I follow completely. You lost me a bit here If I never behaved in a way that I feel I was a jerk, and if I never think of anyone else as a jerk, then I never meet a jerk?

Thanks! Now I am getting practical value form the "nothing" approach Just isn't noticeable because of linearity. How the dream abstracts, how it interprets and process --> this makes sense. It's a function that is - probably - not understandable for my tiny mind. This part is still a bit tricky unclear: It's all nothing being everything. We're just playing what seems to be catch-up. It's already done and that's why processes and practices are futile in this sense. I get the "catching up" part like this: So everything happening instantaneously, but linear mind has to process time to experience what already has been created Couldn't practices make us more aware of a) this process and b) more conscious of what we are creating? At least that is my impression from the last years before I was not aware of the intensity of my reflections Moreover, any experience/input how this exactly works, how the dream is reading and creating stuff? I recently watched "play test" Episode, black mirror season 3. Feels a bit like this

@HojoInteresting idea but doesn't fully reflect my experience. I guess the mirror can not always work backwards, otherwise I would never have a friendship, or a relationship with a woman, because it requires both parties to like each other at least to a degree, right? Also, then I wouldn't have the massive amount of synchronicities that are happening. I agree that there has to be some duality that is being created, so to give me some attribute (smart, funny, interesting etc) there has to be the creation of the opposite somewhere. Someone has to be less funny, less smart, less interesting etc Any further input from anyone?

I relate re seeing the divine in everything, even me typing this message on the phone. It's not always necessary to seek the extraordinary, the comfortable, the super high state. That's something I am also learning and integrating. However, seeing the divine everywhere and enjoying it, living in it's flow, appreciating it can be two different things. It's a vibe of "I like being here" vs. "I am here" or even "I don't want to be here". Speaking from experience And few people give off the first vibe a lot...

I think she has point. Isn't just opening the thread a way of doing something, creating action, reaction? You could even go so far that all the suffering is better then nothing, better then being bored to death on your own. Excitement is maybe too narrow, I would phrase it as something going on (that makes you feel alive).

Back to free will, I think someone already mentioned black and white thinking. So maybe we are already in a problem assuming it's one or the other? There is free will vs. there is none. There is "someone" having will, or nobody having anything? Same as saying there is no one, but the illusion is real? It's a paradox that's why we should not try to fit it in such language.

+1

For every time someones makes an argument of "there is no one, nothing is happening" I invite this person to participate in such sports. If there is no one, nobody can be hit, right? (If it's free will that this person participates, that's another discussion ) https://www.tiktok.com/@powerslap/video/7467209809897606446?lang=de-DE The illusion feels real, so while the "no one here" discussion has some advantage re taking a healthy distance from things, I have the feeling one can overdo it and looses its practical value. And that's what this is all about, isn't it? **** right and wrong, let's go what has the most practical value in living a "good" life.

Resonates. This "ok it's all one thing and it's all me" insight. Not as detailed as you describe, it's more feeling it in every day interactions. No LSD but meditation as trigger. Did not have the exit option as clear as you did, no light seeing , it felt I could leave but was scared. Had the same process to the insight - the "OK shit" reaction was only because my mind, my persona was trained for many years and culture to believe otherwise. When these layers of believe slowly fade away, then it's easier to accept that it has been like this all the time. Just made a thread with similar idea about "others" few hours ago. How this reflection stuff works etc. And the pulling the rug experience I have too. It's not only that those people don't exist, every "help" they need - and even if it's just a friend that needs someone to listen to - is just created out of thin air. To tell this a psychologist devoting his life to"curing" people lol Don't feel like definitely going back to the singularity (or wherever I&you came from) but would be nice to visit and then - maybe, probably - consciously decide to go back and make the best out of this experience here. After all, we came here to leave singularity, right?

Ok thanks sometimes it's just wording, definitions, interpretation that creates the idea of differences rather then the actual difference. I think someone (you?) made a point like this before and I agree. Also I know feel like reading his book 😂

Read through the whole thread. Sometimes it seems that @Breakingthewall propose apple pie 🥧🍎 while @Natasha Tori Maru @Joshe &Co are proposing strawberry pie 🥧 🍓 as the solution to suffering. Maybe let's go a mix 🍓 🍎 🥧? Striving for openness, seeing suffering as evolutionary mechanism but also seeing how we can stop creating certain thoughts and emotional responses? Not sure if I follow completely every point of everyone, but it seems a bit "either/ or" instead of can be a "bit of both." I recall that believes can make a huge difference in what works and how (placebo)

Actually yes, it bothers me. First is the lying part. And second it's creating a feeling of manipulation, the starting point was "love food" and the response seems to be designed in a way to artificially connect. And strange joke with the camera being to drunk. I would have preferred: "ok, you love eating food. Anything else or it's just that? Usual self talk on a Sunday afternoon, or you actually want to go somewhere with this?"