theleelajoker

+ that women will pay attention to men that look less handsome but have personality. But at least among some of my friends, there is agreement that a great personality also makes less pretty women also substantially more attractive. Are there also very superficial women? Same as men? Yes. Do men have it easier then women? Don't think so. IMO, it's pretty even.

Yes, I agree. Ok that sounds pretty close to an experience I had during a Vipassana retreat - but I was scared AF and did not go all the way into "nothing", or the abyss. For me it felt like "dying", or how I imagine it. I felt like I leave this reality and I was afraid I won't come back. I know now in hindsight that this was a breaking point for my structure and the beginning of a transformation process. I guess I know that I have to do Same as you, go back again, but follow through with the intent of dissolving instead of being afraid. BTW, the content of this topic, and the experience you describe reminds me A LOT of the documentary series by Daniel Schmidt. Inner worlds, outer worlds and Samadhi. If I remember correctly, he uses the same term of looking into the abyss without any hope.

I like that description. Well said IMO. The contracted state is truly spectacular once it can be observed from the outside. And it's incredible how much that mode of operation is really the standard mode for most people most of the time. I still do it, but I get better at noticing and stoping it. It's quite simple in concept - a thought is always a limit and a separation, picking a particular time frame and a particular assessment of any situation expressed in language. This is "A" or "B" or "C", thereby neglecting that it can also "D" or "E" etc. And since it's a limitation, it goes along with a somatic correlation - the nervous system gets tense and contracted, too. The fear and lack you mention fits perfectly: Since I limit my perception of reality to "A", I lack for instance "B". Or I fear reality will be "C", because I want it or be "D". In all cases - thought, limit, resistance, suffering. That's the formula as I see it for now. Even if it was a different context, I love the Kierkegaard quote: "If you name me, you negate me. You negate all others things I could possibly be". Question is - what to do? IME the key to unlocking freedom is presence. Only when you are present, you can notice that you create and apply this formula. And then it's practicing your personal method leaves this mode of operating and go to something different you prefer. @Breakingthewall what is your POV why the mind wants to fill every moment with content? Because of perceived lack that wants to be filled? I agree and I notice it, the need and the resistance to silence. Curios how you see it

Sometimes I also believe to recognize the cosmic joke Maybe the magic in life is to recognize it every time?

In your experience, how do they do it?

I think there can be oversimplification of this topic, but also the risk of overcomplicating it. Can you change your negative sensation by either a) putting focused attention on it or b) by changing your attitude, your mental constructs towards it? Yes? Then you can reduce unnecessary suffering.

You asked for my definition. I gave one. You have a different definition. Whatever works for you, works for you. Maybe different things work for others. Infinite possibilities ♾️

Self-generated pain. I break my leg, it hurts. No suffering. I wake up, I wished reality was different, I feel worse. Suffering.

By starting to believe that there is a "you" that can stop believing.

I expect darkness. A lot of it.

Again, what happens if you stop believing THAT? Think of the placebo effect for instance.

And then tell him to stop doing that.

What happens if you stop believing that?

That's one way of looking at things. Used to think similarly. Not anymore. What changed? I stopped doing it.

Accept. If you have troubles accepting? Accept that you can't accept. What if you can't accept not accepting? Accept that you can't accept to not accept. What if you..... (credit to Alan Watts)

LOL. Too simple! Please come up with more complicated answers so that we can show off in a long post and two hours video all this made up complexity and how smart we are and how much we get truth and reality. Much love and light and pink unicorns!

There is REAL fear and pain, and there is ABSTRACT one. First one is suffering and can be eliminated. Look at the former, and see how you can stop creating it. It really is that simple, just requires practice. It's really that simple. Why on earth would you a) believe in something else and b) even argue against it? Love and light and pink unicorns!

I recently re-watched the matrix and I had a strange feeling about it. Just wondering...How do I know that this is not a prison for my mind? Why is it so hard to get answers to why am I here? Why is my existence so veiled, with zero knowledge of what was before? What DO I actually know from direct experience? Re last question, really leaving EVERYTHING aside that I ever read, heard or seen with others. Forget what Bagavad Gita, or Buddha, or Scriptures or "spiritual teachers" (incl. Leo) or whatever says. What do I really know? It's not much tbh. There can be infinite explanations, "good" or "bad" ones. I don't know what's going on. But one thing I know from subjective experience: whenever I had deep conversations with "others"(especially after Vipassana retreats), when I directly asked "what's going on here?" Or "what do you think is going on?", then I got typically very evasive answers, people dogded the question in ways that seemed strange to me. On the other hand, I heard quite a few times "don't ask to many questions, don't go to deep" or others said "I don't really want to know". There are also other experiences that just seem intended to keep me here. Again, infinite possible reasons for that. The prison planer idea is for me equally valid as many other theories about life here, so I'm surprised this thread doesn't get more attention.

Emphasis on bold: Yeah, fits my personal experience. It seems I had to go through my emotions, putting maximum awareness on them to eventually realize that it's me creating them. Funnily, it's also seemed to be enough to just put awareness to it. No complicated mumbo jumbo, just being aware as best as I can. And then... repeat. Practice, practice, practice...

I like this. A trap I have seen quite a lot re many topics in life, with myself and others. Idealized versions instead of what is. I recently read a quote "I'm sad you left. Not sad for what was, but sad for what could have been". Hope is a powerful, but also dangerous thing. Re romantic relationships, I can't remember a single instance where hope turned into something real. Things never got fixed, words proved to be meaningless and there was never a thing like a second chance.

+1 That's about it. See Lisa Barrett Feldman's "Theory of constructed emotions" or Chris Neubauer "No self, no problem", as two examples for research that supports that hypothesis. Once the insight is triggered, it's miraculous how much influence you can have on your emotions and state of mind. Lot's of freedom to be gained.

Disappointment is just a word. There would likely be something somatic, a tension. You could call it hurt. It's self-created IMO, what you call activity generated (that's what I think you're saying). It's learned behavior - reality is not what I want it to be because of thoughts that led to expectation. This causes "disappointment", which causes me to tense up because I don't like this deviation from my expected reality and I don't want to experience it. It my example above my hypothesis is that it could be dissolved by a) dropping the thoughts that created that expectation and b) feeling the tensions, putting awareness to it. Long enough and focused enough it should dissolve more or less automatically.

Ok. The way I see - no you can't. Example: I am disappointed that I did not get/achieve/know XZY. But I am not aware of it. Then Person X asks me: Are you disappointed? And I say "no". Sometimes I truly don't know "the truth", here meaning disappointment. It's authentic for me to say "no", because I am not aware of my disappointment manifesting in my organism. But other times, I have a feeling but I ignore it. Sometimes I feel "something is not right" but I still continue. Because I am lacking presence. Thin line IME. And a lot is attitude, it's authentic for me to look for truth even if I don't know it now. The answer would then be: "Hm..don't know. How can I know if I am disappointed or not"?

I don't understand what you are asking (bold)

Only read your post and agree with almost all of it. One exception: "It’s the relational interaction with a therapeutic guide in the psychedelic state which heals." For me, it's has definitely been the case that taking micro doses -psilocybin or cannabis - has led to sustainable positive effects for me WITHOUT any therapist at my side. At least at stages where I already was more developed. For me, the key is presence, awareness. Other skillful people can help shine light on stuff, but re somatical experience you can do a lot on your own, too. It's also no surprise that a therapist says that therapists are crucial haha 😂