Kokorec

Yeah sometimes I do slightly feel it, what I've learned/heard gets repeated in my mind when the situation is right. But they don't effect fully.

I feel a constant desire for connection in some ways parallel to yours. Would be guiding if @Leo Gura answers broadly.

Hey @Leo Gura curious about this appreciate if you could give your perceptive? I could say "they did it first" but that doesn't feel right. Then what do you do when you are in this situation fight,war,divorce etc. and the other side plays it dirty and doesn't care about truth(or less than you)?

I could say "they did it first" but that doesn't feel right. Then what do you do when you are in this situation fight,war,divorce etc. and the other side plays it dirty and doesn't care about truth(or less than you)?

@Leo Gura Don't you have to fight devils at their level. Hezbollah terrorist members if they could would do the same if not worse. Its naïve to wait for one side to fight clean/fair while the other is throwing sand at your face

@PurpleTree Also its like having a lover and then make a painting of that lover and -even though you have your lover at your side- you go show affection and love to the painting. Cant see romantic scenarios in that approach

@Hojo The thought patterns that lead to heavy emotion- god I still get abused by 'em when shit gets tough.

@Butters when he put it as a "computer". I imagined a dopamine spamming activity "feel good brain masturbation" kind of thing and doing it for the sake of feeling good. Gratitude is cool though, it clarifies what's good and meaningful in ones life.

Insightful analysis. How do you go about avoiding and moving past old beliefs/thoughts that got introduced this way?

@lostingenosmaze just checked it now. Seems pretty legit to plan out a number of task and monthly agendas. Rn I just have to study for 6-8 hours and small daily tasks here and there but thx for suggestion maybe I can use something like this in a busy complicated future . Btw there is one tactic I use for "journaling" I keep a short list of most desired outcomes in my life and read it 3 times a day and think about them throughout the day.

Hey hello I've been here lurking for a while and decided to ask for help and percpective on the given title. Last year in my first year of a CS degree I failed due to not working at all except a day or two before finals. Did Not meet the credit quota for the second semester. I failed and went back to my home country for 8 months. Now I am back in the country where I am studying and I will be studying and plan on passing the same course. Whenever I start studying I distract myself with digital media. Even though I made it hard to reach certain sites and apps but since I have to study on a computer the distractions are always a few clicks away. I was a spoiled and unattended kid. Parents gave me a laptop at 7 and since then it's been my precise little escape from myself and the world whenever something is "unpleasurable". I haven't done anything tedious or diligent by myself. So if I feel bored or stuck while studying I distract myself in any way possible. I considered the narrative that computer science was not my purpose in life and maybe that was the reason for all of this but the thing is that I don't do diligent work for anything. On the meaning and purpose side I have many things going on too. I have been into computers and games since I was a child. CS pays well(important point since I am from a third world country and gotta stand on my own two feet). Even though there are many more points why this is the optimal path in life for me it isn't working out. Uni will start in a couple of weeks and I am not working near enough. I am back in the spiral of anxiety about study-sit down for study-distract myself whenever there is something unpleasurable-have guilt/shame-more anxiety. I feel like I am an incompetent lazy child. I need a way to get out of this rut. Not so fun fact, this is the last chance for me if I fail this time i will have to go back permanently. Would love to hear suggestion and takes on this.pls tldr: struggling with uni due to digital addiction, asking suggestions, seeking a way out

@Davino amazing suggestions

cheers to that

@Hojo Thought you were visualising old experiences and fantasising or some shit like that to feel good. Mantras are cool though.

is this healthy from a self development perspective?

@Treewatcher Imma cut it quick. When I didn't try to do "discipline" or could be called "bulldozering" my way into study and instead felt the nagging boredom and all of the other unpleasant things. I noticed they had a source, base, root. It was a reality I was not accepting, avoiding. For me this reason was the huge discrepancy between where I was and where I believed I was in terms of academics and the value that I provide for myself, family etc. I accepted that I didn't have anything tangible going on for me. Felt like a bum(still do) but it got me going cause I see where I am at which creates the appropriate drive to study etc.

@Ramanujan it seems like a tool that I can use to memorize functions both in calc and C. I can give it a shot. Sure I'll take a look at it.

@Rigel Hey it worked. After accepting suffering of boredom and all of the other unpleasant things I feel rather empty(which is a state that feels much better for study) instead of feeling agitated. Thx

More than a week ago I had a trip on weed. It was my first time experiencing something like this and it slammed my psyche for a few days. With time, the heavy effects went away. I recall most of the event,but broadly. I feel like I forgot the detailed images and thoughts I had in my mind. When I was trying to remember the details of a certain part in trip I remebered a chain of feelings and thoughts and the rest came like a thread. After the initial shock and spinning images in my mind, which I can't recall in detail now, there was a part where the experience was like a movie and out of my control. A good example of the feeling would be when you first wake up in the morning and are aware but not in control. I will share the details I remember below. What I can't figure out about this experience is that at some point I convinced myself that this was True Awakining, how this was going to go on forever, and that all of my life, all of what I have heard and learned, was to make this infinite trip smooth and mostly a good one. In some points, I even experienced what can EXATLY be called as "plot-twists". Whenever I conviced myself that this wasnt a infinite trip after a short while I was again pulled back in to the "infinite trip" and saw how this was indeed a "infinite trip" and how I was getting "ego backlashed" into "unawakining". This "plot-twist" happened a few times more with more force until I fainted out of tiredness. I would really like an explanation of what this experience really was. What I remember in detail and also was confirmed was my friends who were there with me was these. I wasnt able to surrender to the experience and as result I got anxious and focused on my incriesing heartbeat and that was the start of the just having awarness part. I vividliy remember my consciousness going away and coming back. Being aware of almost having something like a heart attack and coming back with my friend shacking me and saying how I am not going to die. I had awarness while this was happening and I wanted to act but couldnt. After I was more in control I opened my eyes which greatly reduced the trance effect. I went back to my room with the other two friends and in there this life feeling like a film kicked in so fucking hard and the experience which I couldnt explain what it was happened. I remember some thoughts I had. I thought that this was true awakening and this was gonna turn me into a hippie with my other two friends(that thought alone scared me :p). I remember some thought and actions feeling right and some dont with and soo intensive intuition that the wrong moves made my heartbeat skyroket. I remember the I conviced that all of what i heard(to breath deep and focus on it, to meditate etc.) was for this experience. When I did get the hang of it there was a feeling of getting in and out of control of the Experience of life itself. I also had the sensation of jerking off but not cumming CONSTANTLY for a good while in the small frame where I surrendered more to the experince this jerking of transformed to something 100x of cumming and it felt BLISSFULL and also I imagined that how I was getting a blowjob from my other friend but in the future(but feeling the effect also in the moment) if I let the experience happen. This imagining/realasition actually disturbed me because I never felt twoards man.

@Yimpa LMAO

I'm 19 I have been consuming leo's content for a almost two years now. I've read trip and awakining reports and always wanted to experience something like it. Since last week I have started to smoke weed. Normally it hits me a few times and gives a ease of head and a lot of laughs but this last different. Started with a lot of laughs with 2 other friends and after some minutes all three of us stared laughing and making jokes nontop. This went on for 10-15min and at some point we kinda telepathcly merged(at least that what I felt.). I also thought I had passed away. I turned back when my friend said "No dying bro what dying keep calm". Also there was some moments where I felt like I was watching my life as a movie and interfere in some moments. Since this experince happened which is now almost two days ago I still fell odd to put it simply I feel like I need some guidance. Some moments I see a path for my life and effortlessly follow but occasionally I feel like am imagining all of this and going crazy -kinda-. I again and again see some signs on what I should be doing how I should just let it flow, trust and accept what's going on. It feels so naturel at times but also Freaky at a lot of times and I get scared, I fell fear. Also there is a almost constant anormal heartbeat and it increase when ever I try to see everything as it is. I read about kundalini psychosis and the symptoms seemed like what I am experiencing(It's the phenomenon where you kinda awaken but not totally and your mind thinks its going crazy.). What should I do? How should I react and think about it? What am I really experiencing?

And also I see signs almost everywhere how I should be reading into them and react ?

This helps. The more I think the more I try to put limits for "safe playing" the more it gives me anxiety. I will try to think less and play(?) more but one thing is reading into spirituality and Leo's content also feels like I am doing what I shouldn't. How should I approach this stuff it feels like playing with fire in some way its warm but it also feels like it will burn me.

@Moksha It doesn't feel like I should be proud, but thank you. Having my ego acknowledged in any way also contributes to dissonance. I feel as if it is creating a trap for me, and this also results in me doubting the signs that I receive from people. Should I just trust them? THIS hits home. Any more detailed explanation on how I can more silently realize and how not to energize my thought with attention I will look at "The Mind Illuminated." Thank you.

@Razard86 I'll let God guide me:)