Schizophonia

You confused your estradiol pen with 5 MeO DMT.

I sometime used it to learn psychoanalysis.

Day 16 I've been very interested in nutrition since my sophomore year of high school; At the time I was quite orthorexic and afraid of gaining weight, so I wanted a diet, or a way of eating that would guarantee that this wouldn't happen. I was actually a little overweight in middle school, it wasn't too bad and it quickly went away with growth, but because of some bad experiences and my tendency to obsess (which has dulled a lot in recent years for some reason, to the point where I now consider myself more detached than the normal person on any subject), it was enough to twist my relationship with food and the body for a while. So I peeled what was available on the internet, to the point where today I must know basically all the diets and their gurus lol: -NPC balanced plant based diet (dr greger) -The more orthorexic version of the precious one (Fuhrman) -Plant based HCLF starchivore diet (McDougall) -Plant based HCLF both high sugar high starch diet (Durian Rider/Freelee banana girl) -Plant based HCLF fruiratian (Doug Graham, Robert Morse, John Rose...) -Plant based HFLC (Markus Rothkranz, Lou Corona) -HCLF omnivore/Vertical diet (Stan Efferding) -Keto (Eric berg, Sten ekberg) -Meat based Keto (Shawn Baker, Chaffee, Bart Kay, Robert Klitz...) -Meat based with carbs, primal style (Aaujus Vonderplanitz, Sv3rige, Tufano...) -Meat based with carbs including starch (Paul Saladino). -Paleo Diet (Julien Venesson). -FODMAPs free diet. -Ray Peat Diet -Doing anything (Vegetable police 😅) Obviously I haven't tried them all, I'm not that mentally ill 👺, but I've experimented with some of them over time. The worst experience was a diet high in starch and low in animal products, especially with lots of beans and grains (or pseudo grains) competes; Made me basically stupid, lots of brain fog to the point where I couldn't pass my driving test as was planned at the time, and turned me into a human jet pack so much that I could get gas, you wouldn't have wanted to be my girlfriend at that time👺 ; It's not very sexy but it's the truth. In fact it was so bad, that I sometimes had attacks of colitis here and there in the evening, I sometimes finished my philosophy class in the last year of high school (it was the class of the week I finished the latest) by bending over because of abdominal pain. All these different problems resolved themselves when I completely stopped these foods, no matter how I tried to prepare them. The second serious experiment was a "meat based with starch" diet, a bit like Paul Saladino does today; It was already much easier, no abdominal problems and a great calm, whereas during my vegan experience I was regularly angry and disdainful. I finally stopped because of the cost and the food diversity, I like cooking, and I don't want to stress too much about food anymore, and in fact even if I let people do what they want, even if I leave them royal peace, well in fact I find it ridiculous to lower oneself to that; I don't want my life, my nervous system, my limits to revolve around something as anecdotal as food, especially when like me you come from a country where food is greatly associated with a moment of pleasure, sharing, even art and a country where more or less everyone knows how to cook. All I have been able to observe concretely is that consuming too many legumes or dairy products (especially from cows) caused significant intestinal and cognitive problems, as well as eating a diet that is not "nutritious" enough in general. Eating too much saturated fat seems to cause headaches, but this is a correlation that I observed without paying too much attention to it at a time when I was interested in Ray Peat, so it may just be bullshit. But it's not only with food that I played, but also with medications: Obviously psychedelics, eheh, but especially sedatives in the context of my severe insomnia. Benzodiazepines, "light" gabaergics (Aswhagandha...), trycyclics (Mirtazapines), atypical antidepressants (Trazodone), antihistamines (Cyproheptadine, Doxylamine...), taking gelatin to "suppress serotonin" (which makes no sense, a ray peat bullshit), magnesium, zinc, taurine, or even high doses of metalonin.... These are all traps, immediately; From the first dose they will screw up your ability to fall asleep the following night by rebound effect, regardless of tolerance, and will re-enrich sleep anxiety ("what will happen if I don't take the medication tonight?"). So I no longer take any supplements or even less medication, for all the reasons I have given or tacitly suggested previously. The only two supplements I take today (I lied🫨) are a multivitamin and mineral ("All-in-one" from PureEncapsulation) and omega 3 EPA/DHA/DPA supplements based on algae. The only health-oriented angle of view that interests me at the moment, by extension of my interest in Neville Goddard and the law of attraction, in solipsism, is the work of Joe Dispenza. I love Joe, uncle Joe is basically an athlete who during a cycling event (probably triathlon, from memory) fractured his vertebrae and became basically disabled. He was supposed to have an operation that was essentially just to reduce his pain, but motivated by his readings on esotericism, in particular the famous book "Autobiography of a Yogi" of Paramahansa Yogananda he decided not to do this medical intervention and to try to repair his spinal column himself via visualization and meditation exercises, by "calling on the source at the origin of everything" to paraphrase him. It was successful, now it's not so much that it works but he is at the head of a company that allows thousands of people around the world each year to reverse extremely serious and often supposedly irreversible pathologies through the same teachings, such as autoimmune diseases, terminal cancer, disabilities, invertility, a stroke that has exploded part of the brain, etc. etc. Joe Dispenza has the most rational approach possible to try, by his own admissions, to seduce the most skeptical people; so he will generally rationalize his results via work on brain waves and epigenetics, but he is actually fundamentally a non-dual thinker perfectly in agreement with the statements of monist people like Leo Gura. Joe has tons of testimonies on his youtube channel, it's incredible, probably in the top 3 of my influences in recent years.

There is above all an epidemic of laziness and brainroting by youtube, tiktok...

Ai isn't smart enough for now.

I’ve never seen anybody who has prolonged karmic evolution just with psychedelic including 5 MeO.

Wait until OP find out Shilajit 😏

You're right, many people don't socialize enough and we're not the same irl as we are online; I myself am systematically calmer and simpler in real life. But I don't want to be too dramatic, I see that most peopl are starting to become aware of this problem. What I wanted to say is that despite the problem of loneliness, I also see a "drying up" of certain karma which is in fact much more serious over the generations. I don't know if it was the world war or something like that that caused an "energy whiplash", but here in the boomer generation and generation x there are a lot of extremely mentally ill people; A lot of rape, humiliation, or physical violence in any context. Everyone in France knows someone who was raised with joyful like "you're good for nothing, you'll end up under the bridges". Modern generations often seem more mature and stable, and there are also fewer problems with alcoholism, smoking and drug addiction in general.

If we refuse to collaborate with everyone who has a shadow or simply who does not agree with us, we will quickly end up sucking stones in a cave.

Yes. Not a big deal.

Absolute terror.

You have a normal willingness to talk about what I can see from my side.

You said you could be satisfied with barely speaking to your family.

I don't know, I see a lot of old people who are super socially handicapped. The Internet also allows for socializing. It's mostly the touch that we miss, the carnal proximity. Not only in the sexual sense lol but also on a friendly level.

Yeah but you're not laughing, or you're just putting yourself in a particularly interesting frequency, while surfing on actualize. Well probably not.

Day 15 There are people who are manic enough to impulsively, quickly generate, visualize a new vision of themselves with enough attachment to it to hold on to it with a curious force. This is the case of my mother who after having smoked for several decades suddenly stopped; She had become hysterical for a week or two lol, but she had held on to this new vision of herself as a "non-smoker" and the prospect of smoking again triggered a feeling of shame. I am not like that, I am more like my father (in between the two basically) who lives much more in the present moment. It is a very good psychological disposition to have responsibilities, to manage things that are usually particularly stressful for most people, moreover my father has always been a hard worker and an entrepreneur, and has generally earned a very good living; But here it is, he doesn't want to stop smoking or drinking, even with health problems, because he has little emotional energy that pushes him to move ; It's a bit like "a bull's psyche" As for me, if I just "no fap to see what happens" like during nofap november, I know for sure that I will relapse and wallow in decadence after 24 hours 👺, because my phlegmatism/cynicism will take over again and I will say to myself "oh what's the point, it's useless". I need to visualize, see and feel this future, to put a real effort into it, to tangibly register myself in something tangibly promising; It's really essential , Then when the habit is formed, it will be formed firmly. Seminal retention kills two birds with one stone, if you have the motivation to hold on you will get even more motivation in the medium/long term thanks to the absence of a prolactin peak and the exhaustion of certain neurotransmitters, exhaustion of vital energy in general.

Eheh. I'm waiting for my hidden asian brother's one Dw It's just daydreaming, basically. For the moment my concrete goals are obviously much more humble things and I am satisfied with that.

No, he supports political parties in a democratic process hoping that Europe goes in a better direction. You yourself said in another topic that mass immigration was correlated with crimes.

lol I wonder why they are seriously responding to op, it's just a very fleeting manic delusion of someone who's probably just bored.

It's illegal everywhere in the world or almost.

Day 14 I slept well today 🫨 I will have more energy to manifest a delicious viking foid and 100,000€ cash. Yum I'm not going to go into details today, I really don't have time, I'm really making this post for the sake of regularity But what I really miss the most, jokes aside, is vitality; Not so much in the sense of physical energy but really vibrational. I don't feel bad, not depressed, in fact I've never really had suicidal or dark thoughts in general even in cases of extreme stress, but it seems that I still live overall, most of the time, in a fairly dry and poor frequency to my taste This is the conclusion that I can have here and there when I enter a particularly deep and unusual state of satisfaction, in fact in these states I even happen to feel what seems to be a rise of Kundalini: I can feel a sensation of pleasant heat in the body and more particularly in the lower spine. Not the anus or the sex, not an erogenous zone, but at the level of the coccyx, maybe a little above. Ideally I would be physically overpowered, very courageous, rational, with a lot of libido; And at the same time hyperintuitive, supercreative, with a lot of visions, creativity, and a natural inclination to be .high" I want to become an alien bodybuilder with 300 qi, master of manifestation lol. Maybe in the near future we will see 👺, nevermind.

Then it's not the size that matters, it's how you use it. 🤏 🤏

Tobacco contains a stimulant close to a racetam (nicotine) and even antidepressant compounds (MAOIs)

There is no contradiction. good I also had a bad cold the last time I was in northern Europe eheh. Probably the bacterial/viral strains differ depending on the country. Nevermind.

Thanks. Indeed the reason why you masturbate literally as well as figuratively (cigarette, food, watching videos on youtube, going on the forum very often) is to avoid a feeling of lack/emptiness; This emptiness corresponds to castration. You must accept castration otherwise you will refuse to contemplate that you lack healthy things (money, career, relationships, sport, health...) and that you have work to do. Otherwise you will seek to fill yourself urgently with drugs, undesirable behavior and neurotic behavior in general; Just like a ostrich who puts her head in the sand or a child who shouts "lalalalalala I can't hear" while covering her ears. What I call the symbolic phallus are what are considered as objects of desire (that is to say of power, unconsciously) by a normally constructed psyche (money, career, sport, women, cars...); If we had all fully integrated the supremacy of the symbolic order, there would probably be no one on this forum lol and we would all be working, picking up, and doing the "obvious" things to have more (more phallus). And the imaginary phallus is the one whose constitution is generated by non-acceptance and therefore castration anxiety; Since you refuse to look at the nullity of your life because it is too violent, humiliating, that you are lost etc (=castration) then once again you fall back on stupid objects. Neurosis is a normal and omnipresent process to varying degrees, it is a kind of "temporization". Anxious people, who have been more damaged by life, or simply who have been too accustomed to sources of easy pleasure will be more neurotic. In case it was not clear by "imaginary" I am not talking about the nature of the object, like a car in the imagination would be the imaginary phallus and a car in reality would be a symbolic car; It does not concern the object but the sexual drive, the energy that wants to bring the phallus. What I mean through this dichotomy is that if what is best, a priori, for your ego, is to go rock climbing but you prefer (I am talking about drive again, so if it is because you are handicapped it is another story) to smoke joints all day, the drug represents the imaginary phallus (which gives you a temporary feeling of power, because you are too lazy and/or fearful to choose escalation, = castration anxiety, the real goal, what is really considered the (symbolic) phallus by your ego.)) and the climbing the symbolic phallus (which the ego really would wants, target). I said joins but but maybe a healthy habit like bodybuilding, bodybuilding is sometimes if not often motivated by neurosis (fear of not being attractive enough, = castration anxiety). You want to jerk off imagining a pretty girl in your class because it makes you feel like you have a phallus (=power). So far it's real, you really do have the phallus (=symbolic phallus). But the real question is, wouldn't you rather have a partner or stay chaste for some reason? If the answer is true then the real phallus (the real object of satisfaction) is a woman, like actually making love, and jerking off while imagining fucking is a false phallus (=imaginary phallus) to avoid the pain of not having the "real" one and of having to make an effort. It's all a question of point of view. From this point of view, yes masturbation is rather a neurotic practice. Mea culpa if I repeat myself lol 😅, it's my habit.