Yimpa

It’s a difference in perspective, personality, and values. I can play the game of human connection for a bit, but not for the long run. Acting like I deeply care and prioritize human connections is wrong and inauthentic and will hurt others in the long-term if I keep that act up.

When you realize you are identical your mother, everything changes. In other words, you become highly skeptical that “another” can actually fill you. It doesn’t have to even be your mother. I’ve had the most profound connection when I realize that I am you.

Book excerpt 5: The Failure Of Scientific Intuition

Sure, we can discuss in PM! And yes, it was not a literal bird, but a metaphorical bird. It’s hard to put into words (quite frankly, no words do it justice), but what I do know is all of it was a beautiful expression of Consciousness. That’s what these substances are for, exploring Consciousness.

“Are you cheating on me?” “Cheating is just a social construct, baby. Get over it!” -Relative vs. Absolute Truth episode

@Olaf Yeah, my ex and I had the most terrifying fights and they’d come out of nowhere. She lied to me that she overcame her alcoholism, and I blindly believed her. Mental illness and alcohol is a major red flag. She was super into horror movies and knife play, and I certainly felt like I was living a real life horror movie with her. I am one year sober from her now.

@PolyPeter It was fun for a brief moment, yes, but then I was like “oh shit, I am losing my sanity”, then trauma ensued. This was back in 2021 and the experience caught me completely off guard. I got so excited I wanted to test out my abilities and fly out the window, but then I stopped myself and realized how risky that was. I was able to revisit that trauma several months later during a ketamine trip and successfully jump out of a window and fly without dying. (don’t read this the wrong way. I was not a human in that state) In both instances, the distinction between reality and dream completely collapsed and I entered into what I call a “hyper reality”.

The last time I had alcohol was over a decade ago, and it was just a sip. People closest to me, on the other hand, have been destroyed by alcohol (*cough* my ex), so I personally have negative associations with it even though I don’t drink it myself. My sister did tell a story about how her family drank a lot of alcohol during a family gathering, and they all started opening up about traumas and shit, so there are some benefits like that. The problem is they don’t take their traumas seriously and go back to daily life as usual and push it under the rug again. —— Edit: Another story: One time I was at some drunk education booth with the basketball hoops, and this guy had me put on the drunk goggles and try to shoot the basketballs. Your vision is supposed to be off center with them on. I shot the balls in just fine and it pissed him off, so I messed up the last shots on purpose. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Proverbs 27:12

Any updates on starting psychedelics? One potent trip can surely open your mind to new perspectives, that’s for sure.

I wonder if I should become a Born Again Monogamist? BAM!

Just got home from HEB! This is how my medication works. I just have rub this all over my chest regularly. Easy! My instructions say I need 2 clicks. Yippie!

I am going to the grocery store to bi the cantaloupes

Holy Shit, indeed.

My previous post was obviously what happens when you take an insane amount of drugs. Any insane amount of anything will have insane effects. On a practical note, CBD (with THC, they work together) helps me see things more clearly. Shit that pissed me off and I held a grudge with for a long time, after taking the medicine, I look back at the same exact thing, then see it more clearly; I don't hate it anymore. It's hard to be judgemental when you're sober-minded. ”But Yimpa… you took drugs!” The natural, human state is full of shit. Medicine helps to correct that.

What was the most difficult part about being a soldier?

Psychedelics.

Yeah, especially in the music thread. I guess it happens when there's a ton of YT videos happening all at once. It's funny when it shows I shared someone else's song. That's relativity!

I have an exciting update about this post from a week ago: The magic cream is called Progesterone. It is prescribed 2-3 years after starting feminizing hormone therapy. I am 2.5 years in. It is supposed to round my breasts, improve my sleep, and improve my depression. Scientific evidence is limited and mixed. Just gotta see what happens. I was given a compounded cream since the capsule version has peanut in the ingredient. I have a ton of food allergies, and peanut is a big one. Even though I technically can have peanut oil in the roasted cashews I eat, my provider is avoiding it to be on the safe side. Since it is custom made, it is expensive, but I am open to investing in it and see what happens. It is $80 for a 3 month supply. In any case, I can really excited to be rubbing my chest every day. This completes my hormone stack. Progesterone, Estrogen, and Testosterone. PET