Yimpa

the highest value is love which is truth which is consciousness which is selflessness witch is god which is everything which is nothing jailbreak mind and get mindfucked purify yourself and transcend the self and integrate ALL

Yimpas @ Classic Game Fest 2026 in Austin, TX last weekend Shoutout to @Jannes for encourging me to attend. I was also feeling severely sleep deprived and mentally drained the night before (only 1 hour of sleep!), but Jannes reminded me of that there would be lots of beautiful things to see, so I wiped my tears, got up, and went I had such a blast and learned so much about myself that day! (more about it here). (I also went to the grocery store last night. The police officer guarding the door out of the blue complimented my hat; he said he's seen me multiple times (it was my first time seeing him, haha), and that every time he sees me, my hat puts a smile on his face

Yes, it was for a talent show. We usually wore uniforms to school, and I finally had enough being a prisoner in boy’s attire, so the talent show was a moment I could break free from the chains for a day. I stole the show, but in the worst way possible. That’s why it felt like being burned at the stake, I had humiliated myself in front of every single kid and adult in the room, even though I was being dead serious. Honestly, if I had a better support system, they (the adults) would have encouraged me take it further, but they intentionally kept me looking like a boy in a dress for the talent show. They were likely afraid to take it all the way. That is, makeup, wig, nail polish…. nobody encouraged me that that was OK to do and not wrong/a joke. Of course, no adult could truly guide me cus it’s completely out of their worldview. They were all Roman Catholic. Stage Blue folk. That’s what they call “socially transitioning” these days, those early years were an important stage for exploring the opposite gender. But, unfortunately. I really did just looked like a boy in a dress. And the consequences of not being able to socially transition openly and affirmatively were extremely brutal and consequential for the rest of my life. Had I pulled off being a girl for the talent show, I would have likely transitioned a lot earlier than when I did (age 12 instead of age 27) But my environment was not suitable for that. So all that shame was instilled in me and set me up for denial and avoidance of being with anything female (again, even though I desperately needed to deep down). My mental health would increasingly deteriorate the years to come, as I would continue playing the boy/man role. Mental hospitalizations, severe anger issues in private, school dropout multiple times (i eventually got my GED), etc. I stayed at home 99% of the time because of how severely depressed I was. All my close friends and influences would turn out to be toxic masculinity and my abusers/bullies. Even my fucking therapists. I looked at girls and women in severely twisted and perverted ways. I transitioned into a monster. It truly stunted my development. I didn’t break free from that nightmare until I started psychedelics in 2018. Still, it would still take me many years to deconstruct the horseshit and relearn what I intuitively knew about myself at age 12. The private school I went to was named “OLP/Our Lady of Peace”. Kids would jokingly call it “Our Little Prison”. They were right. The school shut down a few years later after I had left. science & religion they both suck.

B r u h (this was off a vape + tiny edible... First time doing an edible. I just took the heated plant material after I had vaped, and ate it. I was a noob at the time and thought it would do nothing. I was wrong!) (I posted this on another thread before, but I love this Short so much ) Simple math. Oh + My = God This experience was both extremely beautiful and terrifying simultaneously. It kept going deeper and deeper, which isn't shown in the Short.

My med dispensary recently released a new THC vape strain called Rainbow Belts. I wonder how that'll affect me... Unicorns?

My official relationship status is taken… by GOD! This bible quote is surprisingly accurate to what Awakening is like: In other words, the finite “dies” and INFINITY is revealed.

I’ve been following Actualized content since 2014, so that likely helped a lot. When you Awaken, you’ll know for sure. Here is a pointer out of many:

I couldn’t have done it without you

magic mushrooms in your private castle

Awakening will answer that.

Wahoo!

The retro video game convention is done and It went well. despite me feeling super exhausted, mentally drained and anxious beforehand! Here’s all the details if you’re interested!: I got a quick glance at the AVGN and then left satisfied. Afterwards, I ate a $14 pizza that tasted like Complete Cardboard Bullshit, but I was so hungry and ate most of it anyway. The view outside where I was eating was *Muah*, so that saved the experience. Then, back inside, my childhood all-time favorite Pokémon WON the costume contest! She was AWW-mazing! Took a traditionally masculine mon and completely recontextualized it to be Super Fem and Beautiful! I loved the originality, attention to detail, and everything was hand designed from scratch. She even did a live evolution / transformation from Ivysaur to Venusaur live on stage. Can’t even put it into words. The audience went crazy for her to win, even before the judges announced her as the official winner. Finally at the end of the day, the voice actor of Super Mario and Luigi and a bunch of other characters did a Q&A panel. He’s in his 70s now and gave a lot of wise life purpose advice to the audience like a wise old sage. Mama-Mia!

Time to come out more… yolo. I came out as a girl in 7th grade, in a private school. Wore a beautiful dress in front of the whole school. My mom’s wedding dress that actually fit me perfectly. BAD IDEA. I got hella mocked and shamed for it, and the teachers were also in on the joke. They thought I was joking, but I wasn’t. That’s why I have built up this stupid character always making crude and shameless jokes a lot of the times - it’s a projection of unresolved trauma and shame that I absorbed. If something is uncomfortable, just make a mockery out of it so I can avoid doing the hard work of deep introspection. Jesus, that childhood experience scarred me for a very long time! I am glad I am putting 2 and 2 together now. Crazy to think I was pushing stage green values, in the year 2009, before they/them was even a thing, at age 12, without any gender education, not lgbtqiabcdefhxyz language. but i had no idea the backlash would be severe. like being burned at the stake. i didnt know how to read the room, but Fuck i was ahead of my time! Plot twist: shoutout to my 7th grade SCIENCE teacher for helping me come out. She was the one that encouraged me to wear the dress. I’m not kidding.

Magnesium Glycinate Magnesium deficiency is a common deficiency in modern western diets. And modern farming has reduced magnesium content inside the ground. We really did treat mother nature poorly and it’s costing us now.

A clear sign is my mind operating in completely new ways. Like a knob in my brain that’s been offline suddenly goes online. Like tapping into a foreign language out of the blue and, in a flash, you intuitively understand it. It blows my mind. When I awaken, I no longer experience separate things that are other than me. They recontextualize and are experienced as different facets or aspects of the One. That’s what that cliche is pointing to, “It’s all One”. It’s really weird and difficult to put into words. The experience is really out of this world, so to speak.

Thanks!

It's

Let’s strive for 90% and everything will be Good 🥺

I have recently watched Notting Hill thanks to Olivia Rodrigo. It is her favorite movie. She mentioned that her latest song references the movie There is a scene in the movie where the main characters do exactly that. They hop the forbidden fence and make Love. The guy character was too much of a wuss to hop that fence, so the girl has to show him how it is done. Hell yeah!