Rafael Thundercat

If you want a woman bragging about you in her groupchat, master one skill: high-level banter. Banter is her biggest kryptonite (especially if she's neurospicy) ok fine, I'll explain.. Most men try to impress her with the obvious: status, money, intensity, deep stares, heavy compliments. That can create interest in the short term, but what actually sticks is the combination of tension and playfulness. Status can be googled. Money can be displayed. Intensity can be faked. Real banter cant. Its live. Its calibrated. And when its rlly good, she feels safe while still being kept on her toes. Banter is what disarms the masculine shell a woman is forced to wear all day. With good banter, you make her snap out of performance and into presence. its a playful back and forth that draws her into a world that requires her to stop overthinking and planning. to even play along with you she must drop into her body bc for banter to be any good it must be embodied not intellectual. she must commit to the bit fully. Its all improv. so in these moments you find a shared rhythm, and create a shared world, with several characters and inside jokes. Its an intimacy between your inner childs and she exhales, "i can relax around him." relaxation is incredibly SEDUCTIVE. bc youre also providing direction youre holding your hand out and telling her "follow my lead, turn off the interview mode and step into my world." this hits deeper than any credential ever will. Neurodivergent people rlly crave and excel at banter bc for some reason their minds refuse to tolerate the dead air of small talk. Their attention isnt wired for social scripts. they want stimulation, novelty, pattern jumping, and play. most dates get stuck in predictable conversation scripts. neurodivergent minds instinctively want to leap sideways. bring unexpected ideas, create a random bit outside of the structure and challenge them to speak from intuition instead of convention. A man who can bring play, spontaneity and lightness to something filled with tension is free. free from performance, free from the pressure to impress. that is erotic. This playful back and forth with you might be the most free she gets to feel all week. once the mind drops its guard, the rest of her tends to soften with it. Most men have no idea how boring they are on dates. stuck overthinking, self-monitoring, and trying to manage her impression of him. The woman across from them is there just waiting for permission to relax and enjoy the exchange. Leadership starts with your own presence. Banter is the most reliable way to do this. Use it everywhere until it becomes more natural, then you'll understand why it changes the entire dynamic.

Actualized Quotes #728 https://share.google/6pkat4tACJ7VHTwNr

Judgment of Conformities are also conformitie. We are here confoming categories of confomities.

Maybe the guys who exploded themselfs for Islam are an example of Loving so much their culture. I would not explode myself for any culture.

No matter what style you look for. One thing is the same: I you relating with someone or some ones. So is great to have fundations Foundations on choice and foundation on the relationship if is supposed to be long term. There is no bypassing on this matters.

I think he is pointing towards the trap of becoming so emeshed into the parts that one keep imagining that some thoughts are coming from part X or Y and not realizing the thoughts may not need any part to rise up in our minds. Sometimes a sense of shame or guilt come up on me and I have no need to question myself if this is my inner child talking or whatever. Sometimes models become compartiments that cut us from acessing the embodied in the moment feeling that would be much more accurate as a feedback of what is acctually going on with us. I see this compartimentalization happening around me when I listen my peers talking. Every thing become intelectualized by the language in voga, like these people that use Astrology to explain everything for example.

As we know there are a lot of models do deal with the inner work. IFS is one of them. This video talks about the nuance using this models. Also, for many guys here,me included, the work of this guy can be a very good go for ego development. Yes, because while you dont realize God what you are going to do? INTEGRATION. with no integration this work becomes very swallow. So check it This guy have a body of work very complete.

Profound Quotes #135 https://share.google/vBuqJkWfYrvILKPhh What this Quote means? I dont get it

@Miguel1 If you would listen the convesations of the Non-Monogamic people around me you would go crazy. Listening them I realise why Monogamy is the rule in the world. Non-Monogamic Retoric is so full of Relativism, Nuances and Ambiguity that sounds like non grounded at all, and a fertile ground for disapointment nd hurt. People like to play around with relationship structures not aware that they are just investing in future headache. My questions for these so called free people is " What happens when a child enter the arena? When the woman get pregnant and there are this little being asking for all sorts of attention? Where all the Polyamory, Non-Monogamic Retoric goes? Do the group organize? Share fairly the duties?

A woman perspective on body count https://www.instagram.com/reel/DbyQ0xij_1i/?igsh=ZHlxaXNjdnB2cW9l&igsi=ZHlxaXNjdnB2cW9l

Show off?? Tell me more 😂

The Most Dangerous Place To Live Is 'Not Yet Every day you spend maintaining the persona of someone who is about to do something great, is another day your gift doesn't exist in the world. Let's drop into this.. Someone with undeniable talent, learns fast, has unique ideas nobody else has seen. Yet years pass and someone far less talented can build, write and create. The greatest battle for this person isn't what's happening in the outside world. It's happening inside their psyche. Jung called this: Identification with potential. A psychological state where your relationship with what you could do becomes more satisfying than what you actually do. As long as the book isn't written, it's still the best book you'll ever write. As long as the business isn't launched. It can still change everything. Potential cannot fail but reality can. So the mind creates an invisible prison where you keep preparing, planning, researching, learning and talking about it.. always standing one step away from your own life. Where the realm of 'almost ready' feels safer than actively participating in life. Your mind rarely experiences this as fear. That's what makes the trap so convincing. Many talented people develop a persona. The identity of someone who is about to do something great. Not someone who has. Because the mask of potential looks almost identical to ambition. Individuation asks something much harder. Not... 'What is the idea of who could I become?' That's cool, but... 'Am I willing to become an active participant in what I'm capable of? The greatest risk is carrying the weight of everything you could have created without ever giving it to the world.

Same situation with me. I witnessed the corruption of some Cultural Appropriators of Ayahuasca in Europe. People using the drink for money making, playing shamans. If I would open my mouth to expose the scam they would gasligth me AF. So I just left the circles. Let them rot and discover soon or later that they are playing fool games. I decided stop arguing with stupidity.

watch or re-watch this one. And about your arguing with the shaman ,check Leo Last post about arguing with a fool. I am everyday becoming aware to not enter debates with my pears. Basicaly after some awakenings, even the minor awakenings, it gets hard to engage in debates, it sucks energy that if you are wise you can direct to more productive endeavors. Sometimes i apply patience with the person if I see that there is willingness to reach understanding. Otherwise I evade the talk, with grace or even sneak my way out of it. No drama,no guilt, no shame. Simply like one would change a tv channel that is not bringing any good thing.

Today hearing people debating about the importance or relevance os Freudian Ideias I came to realize the importance of what Leo said in a recent Quote about Recognition. They brougth up that Lacan made a review upon Freud work. Then I remembered that there was a Actualized post about Lacan ideias of Symbolic, Imaginative and The Real. This below is a video in to slow voice. Better to listen with 2x velocity. People use language not aware of how language built upon reality, even distorts reality. Also the video talks about the sense of self and the Mirror Stage where kids get a sense of identity. Last days struggling with a difficult relationship I realized how pernicious can be the identity. I realized I could not even by communication to reach this girl I was dating. Basically her world is built in a way that no amount of clarity can reach. We think we can know people, but we dont have acess to their life expericences that ultimately made them who they are. The social conditioning is deep. There is no way to logic someone out of the way their minds where formed. And somehow it all comes back to the issue of Authority. Like is said in the video " How Authority Work"

Here a interesting perspective from a woman: 'm going to take some heat for this. i believe in dating for potential. i think the likelihood that you meet someone that does all the right things and meets every one of your needs immediately is slim. but (of course there's a but). there's a difference between finessing details and waiting for someone to develop traits they don't have. you can expect a person to improve their level of consideration, but you can't expect an inconsiderate person to suddenly turn into one. women didn't have much choice in their partners for a long time. patriarchy upended the selection process completely. when women couldn't earn money or own property for themselves, they had to rely on men to provide it for them. men who weren't always good people. this is where the fantasy of a man changing for a woman was born. it gave women hope. it kept them motivated, working towards the idea that if she worked hard enough, she could turn the man in front of her into the right one. hope is a powerful motivator. it makes a bad relationship feel more tolerable. if a woman can hold on to hope that her sacrifice and hard work will pay off eventually, she can keep going. but if we examine that story, it's missing something. and that's evidence. do we actually have any examples of a man changing his ways completely within a relationship? and not only within a relationship, but within a relationship to the same woman? i'm hard pressed to come up with a single example. i know men who have changed, no doubt. but when it happens, if it happens at all, it's after the relationship has ended. sometimes there's a reconciliation, but the ending is the trigger for growth. i've also seen men change within a relationship when they meet another woman while still in it. the idea that a woman can change a man just by loving him enough is an illusion. the reason it doesn't work is biological. men and women are wired differently. for women, oxytocin is the primary motivator. the love hormone. to her, love is incredibly motivating. it's what keeps her trying long after she should have called it quits. men aren't motivated by oxytocin, they bond through vasopressin. they're motivated by challenge. women are using a feminine blueprint on men. it doesn't work. we know men don't change through loving them enough, otherwise we'd have examples of it. what kept women motivated in unhappy relationships before is now the reason they get stuck. there's only one way a man changes his behavior. and that's because he wants to. it's also incredibly unlikely that any person, regardless of gender, completely changes major personality traits. someone who doesn't plan dates at all won't suddenly plan thoughtful ones every weekend. someone who prioritizes work won't wake up one day and invest more in relationships. a person who isn't expressive won't shower you with compliments out of the blue. we can edit, improve, and slightly alter characteristics a person already has, but we can't force them to develop what isn't there. people aren't play doh. it's not up to us to decide who they should be. it's incredibly important that when we ask for what we need from our partners, we also respect their autonomy. staying with someone and applying relentless pressure to become someone they're not isn't love. it's manipulation. it's not our job to change people. it's our job to choose the right ones.

Wait, dont we end up in generalization doing this. What about the indiocracies of each singular being?

Back to the original video on this post. Well, apart of some good stuff we can take from it. I notice that perhaps in interviews as there is more ego present in the interaction, the sharing end up being not so clear. Thats why is good to look for other sources and cross polinate ideias. Check this I noticed this patters in my last relationship. Is hard to admit even to myself that I let fantasy and limerence rob the autenticity I praise as a value in my life. And of course from her side there as a lot too, and I was even falty in not stoping it when I saw it. In words, behavios etc.. We need to be aware of what we feed in the relationship because we will end up needing to deal with the consequences later on. Last question she did for me in a instagram message was " Would you prefer something Toxic?" And then a story posted with her picture and a message saying " I died" and " Why?" Then 3 days later I discovered via a friend that she tried to hang herself.

I not know what dreams I will have tonight. I know I had a dream yesterday about a bat getting untangled in my hair. Will I meet the bat again tonigth. I dont know. I dont even care what dreams I will have since I never was able to guess and control any of them. So i dont even know what next image or sound will pop up into awareness now. I just heard a motorcycle passing far from here and a noise of a chair moving in the up floor. Living moment to moment not trying to preview what will happen next is a good not knowing exercice since you never know what will happen next second. Unless you are re-watching a movie haha.

I think that what we all want to be or become here is to find a way to see what is in front of us and as fast as possible understand if we have a woman or man that is worthy of our time and energy or not. Of course, Dicernment,self honesty etc.. is important. But we want guidelines, first principles, some bluprint that we can use to avoid traps.

Not married but dated one for last 3 months. Of course being 44 and dating a girl with 19 is great, but eventually the communication stop flowing, her tamtruns started to anoy me and I ended up with the exact point your said " What was you expecting" ??

I think the best take from the first vídeo is the topic of making questions that rigth in the beggining of the dating time mau give information about her or him. I think we could use our time here to create even better questions than Naftali. Imagine the struggle you save yourself by getting precise info about the woman you are about to start a relationship.

A Complete Knowledge Base Of HUMAN 3.0 - Dan Koe https://share.google/Brh9ogkO5wPLdjxVn We always can learn something new from perspectives of other people. I can see thar he made a new systesis combining from other sources but still bringing something new to the system thinking arena.

Nobody can have a complete view. These are models to understand complexity. To understand infinity is another ordeal.

Here the guy explain where he came from. Or his roots.