kavaris

@Razard86 thats profound. even though its such a simple idea. i justnever really saw it from enough angles before to see this eternal, fractal dreamer dreaming -concept that you point out.

since ive already flung out an extra crazy message, i mine as well continue on what i was tryina say... as i recalled this thing that lsd, etc. did... and that is, understanding how the mind has the ability to fall/throw up — say — *over there* on the other side of the room.. which represents the "current experience", and anything that already happened is being blacked-out in a sense, leading to these gaps or deep striations in the experience overall — but more importantly, the current experience always feels super duper *in the moment*... and so... i thought it would be a neat experiment to take experience in that direction, just to see if its possible, and what the effects are... i seem to recall life attempting to like... fall to pieces right behind me... but i mean, it might be a good thing if everything is stagnant... like i feel like we are all one, and we aint even one yet. its just cause - nothins movin, like a constepation... its like the 10 year constepation on earth, possibly on alien planets as well.

i want to add, theres a "brain power" ability that you can begin practicing/adding into your arsenal... its not a logic thing directly (at first), its not an enlightenment thing (not directly at first), its also not any other notion that youd associate with brain power, its more like, sitting and focusing on your temple lobes, and the pineal gland, and that whole relationship... Trying to feel it, like people who can wiggle their ears might feel there ear in order to wiggle it, you are doing that in this practice (whilst tuning in to the natural frequency ), and you are wiggling your brain, like different parts — so, if you can imagine that, then thats what your trying to do.. and you are like, working on this 'hidden power' type thing... whats that pokemon move that can produce a random effect? Its like that, you dont know what your gonna get until youve done it enough to know, when you can use 'hidden power', and which pokemon its super effective against, or when its too weak of a time to do it.

Things that youve last encountered as the "last big scare" always are gona stand out- in the chaotic beginnings —the new, fresh mind whos figuring things out... For you, it is this lingering fear, this sense of discovery that you got a quick glimpse of, and then, some sortve debilitating dark impression suddenly. you want to figure it out, but at the same time, you do not like that fear, that rejection from the spectrum of white lights and, ostensibly, what could have been just feeling like you were apart of something larger maybe?... You tell me. What were those positive things you felt originally? Write them down. What were those things that fear took in its place? Write them down. In the beginning, for atleast ten years youll be writing this sortve, poetic life stuff down.. There comes a juncture where it all comes full circle, in wholly separate ways from lsd, mushrooms, etc. this is more like, a natural full circle that shines under the new moon. and its at a mythological place that everyones heading to.

Lets all admit, we are scared, and scared we are together. With that said, we are the scared helping to lift the scared... "Much of what he has to say on the nature of reality resonates with feelings I had in my ego-death-like experience. The past half decade or so I have been following his video releases, but I have little discipline. I have an issue building “my” life. When I am high, either smoking or tripping, I see everything going wrong. Visions of death, mostly my own, plague me." You have a youth to you that i find so light and nice, which is good, you are just starting. Ah visions of death. Da, theres a certain beauty to death that is to be appreciated, which is kindve far from the whole getting high & tripping scene, because you are witnessing those negative/positive ebs and flows, and misunderstanding what they mean. Though theres a deeper notion to grasp there too, course, isnt there always... Now this "building your life" cannot be found instantaneously, so you got to give it time, spread the worry out a bit, you know... (write down "life builder" and then draw some bubbles around it to understand the elements that are circulating in its orbit, to try nd get a better grasp) Then maybe, having it discretized and chopped and screwed, will give you enough time to analyze whats going on, "why" it is you are worried, and if its really the root cause/reason for it... Usually theres a deeper reason you just havent found. The faster you find these things, the quicker you can start understanding these descents and ascensions... Theres alot of smaller details to it nd i understand that.

theres a point that im reaching, where i no longer feel the need to read, write, or do much outside the scope of this being and experience of myself... as i have found this thing im tryina penetrate now... suffice to say, any deep knowledge at the end came from being on the quest, trusting the process & collecting bits of this, and that, and compiling them into a sortve, written work that involved many many different methods to read, write and record, as alot of the learning involves your interpretation and interaction w/ it — to filter it down into a way that gives that understanding, right? So, theres that... But as far as specific sources, i cant say that theres many... Many were related to topics i found interesting, and that i was able to gleam or pull it into the artistic endeavors here, and spin them around into a kind of hidden knowledge (that would frankly not be found in many books...), however... Greek Mythology, and stuff like that has some good grandma cookies so to speak... You mention the word "scientific" in there, and i suppose if thats what you are into it can give you something to do for now, but im not a big science guy, and i cant say whens the last time i looked at anything science, unless it was either a quick wikipedia thing, (the concept or something seemed to be interesting) or it was related to mathematics or something, or ya know... jus whatever random thing tied into science. p.s. im looking at my notes, and alot of it came from looking up random stuff, like architecture and poems, languages, runes, patterns... fractals, motifs, magic, lots of my own darkness and experiences, etc, etc. p.s.s. another good idea is to buy a good pair of wireless headphones, cause its nice to tune out everything with a loud ocean sound or something, so you can start focusing intently on this internal, — call it, a world flipped upside down now -world.

Am i the only 1 in this sound field, that i find myself in, at a certain lvl of meditation.. At first i was describing it as like this "ping" sound, like a little pinball bouncing around, while everything was underwater... Ive changed my mind on that, this is more like: 1) very bright, like someone really turned up the lights in this bitch, 2) everything isnt necessarily underwater, but its distorted like, a frequency becomes ripped apart into some sortve strand that joins the light frequency... and 3) im not feeling any different, but my senses are sure getting like... iuno whats a good word for like, everything sucked into a finite point. And anything that made sound with inflection points becomes a single, drawn out echo, until it becomes nothing... so like, in a dream, you might call the things you "hear", or "see" as feelings right? thats what this is, things becoming *senses fron subconscious realm*, and so theres layers of senses going on in the subconcious... like, you might have "two phones", one phone in the realm where you are conscious, with five senses, and you imagine another phone, playing a song or a frequency in the subconscious realm... until you acknowledge it, then it might accidentally disappear on you... same is the concept of other things, when you know how your doing it, then you are directed towards the direction to stop doing it... but i digress.. Theres of course more to it, but thats fine for now.

I dont think about it in the way of, "this is the exact year i go", but instead like... Everyday im thinking deeply about, whether or not the white light is with me or not, as ive already had a near death experience, and so im always analyzing it in this way, the silver ends are. But to be is to then see around the outer edge of my self, looking at the skirt, seeing where i can interject and explore... how closeup i can get where, new information seems relevant, and i can reinact by thinking about the exact image im at where the lights instantiated (sometimes nearby) - typve thing (which is hard to explain since im describing the nde) And thats all to say, that at 22 the fear of having a fear thing thats like, acknowledging something twice—work towards stripping away that second sortve echo of the fear.. If you focus on the noise you can circumvent the sound of these looming issues that are themselves an echo of the natural reaction towards hearing something to fear, however then you have to turn down the noise XD, if u know what i mean... anyway, hope this helps to see in new way(s)

Look at it this way. A dream, an image, a perspective that is—does it have rules? Do the confinements of your own image have a preference, and is that in itself a limitation?... Are you tracking what happens here, at all times, even when youve been spit, puked out and churned within lifes touring machine? What does it mean to be free, unbound, free floating, endless. What are the darkest darks and smoothest roughs that combine to become a being?... What happens when you hear the sound so loud, a noise that pushes you, either in the dreaming world or waking. What does it feel like, and have you been pushing or being pushed, both as self sufficient selfpusher, back and forth. Do the things around you move when you move, or do you move everything and you yourself appear to move within that? What is happening that can be put within words, within a one hundred percent label that doesnt change, doesnt move or doesnt appear as something new, some piece of love that falls behind in the past, les you had grabbed it and held on in the ever falling forward in time.

i suppose we could just say, that theres a larger, dark cloud typve entity in the mix that is making it hard to do anything consciousness related, or to like... to *fit* everything into a perfect frame, its like... theres no frame or box that can contain this picture. ... thats like a more simplistic, boiled, refined, many times - version.

Alright, i have a burning question i find myself asking now, internally... And thats how to *think*, act and dream in this sortve straight and very narrow path, but still discover new and interesting things... Like... There seems to be this direct contradiction between: The thing we would want to do, versus the things we need so as for it to for realistic and like... real... like... I realized theres these two parts that unfold in a world of possibility, its like... One is to approach the white and shining thought, and the other is like anticipating it (WHILE believing), on the other side... Where its ostensibly from a place that you hadnt actually thought of really, or not in a way that hasnt defied the whole premise of self discovery. But when you are observing all thoughts, and entirely tracing everything from start to destination, its like... Well wtf is this now, i have to anticipate it as the second turn, before the final prestige can occur. But if you are observing it, anticipating, and having to force it like, "i tell my mind now i believe", then what even is that and is it even something that any person would ever feel like... Yes... Great, real fun... To me it seems like, not very good... Good would be where you dont understand how anything is happening, and you are guessing at random ideas you have... before it all comes tumbling down for not working... iuno, i guess what im saying is that its kindve retarded, iuno like... iuno what would be the right direction to go with that...

@Evelyna "Likes"👍 I suppose your right. I guess it has to do with the sudden influx of creative things that are now rejoining this sense of like, very deep pain that ive emerged from, coupled with trying to find a way to reverse it, but also trying to operate the control panel in such a radically different way... Its like this nuanced mechanism that im trying to wrap my head around, like... A) you are approaching some undefined texture, B) You are anticipating/believing it to be, C) theres some nuances in there still, cause its like... like, its microscopic dingbats & gizmo's, and its like im trying to influence one variable in a multi-sea, multi-variable situation—that is to say its like its only having had *half* the influence, as we are not present from every direction possible. theres only so much we could ever acknowledge in that process, although its still enough to change it!.. Its like, the thing im tryin' to say takes awhile to pull apart, and i end up writing multiple pages in my attempt... which leads to erasing it, cause its like... ive changed my mind suddenly, typve thing... Like, im selling you a misfit stuffed animal w/ the buttons missing, then im like, "WAIT, No.. its actually got poison in it, i just remembered srr.. and its a cycle of trying to make sense -> create/express it in a new way -> erase it cause its too absorbed w/ me -> and then i try to remember if its following the right sequence... because if i got too... silly.. or too.. dark or something, i have to do deep reconstrucion on that part... cause, in retrospect, it wouldnt just be about the mechanism in our mind, but what we were working on, or the final artifact thereafter that was passed the torch so to speak, in terms of being a kindve, "from our heart" typve enthusiasm, that is like a piece of the puzzle youve created so that the mind may continue (almost putting to mind to rest in some sense, by means of making sense—where sense could not be made prior)... and all of that becomes its own effigy, if that makes sense, lol.

I like math cause its like, dividing or identifying free floating segments that dont have a length yet, and figuring out what they are. Likewise, i think about times when im in my dream, thinking that im now in this scene (Note: Thats the significant part, the being in the scene (why'm i stuck there) ; Not the flashforward thereafter). And its not until i start to control myself that it suddenly falls apart, much like pulling the curtain up, in the quickest of flashes... Its like "FLASH", and its over. I think about things in this way, like being hit by lightning. To me, i see things as being a *weirder than you thought* situation, being an individual whos experienced many, quite unusual things. Unfortunately i have this foundation now of missing lego bricks that i have had the misfortunate to collect off the ground; As a witness of a sledgehammer doing sledge hammering, scattered and gone, both staggered and in flashes. Thats why, to understand anything we have to look beyond the realm of what has, and can ever be known. Likewise, the subject must enapsulate the story somehow. Without the story, then it is a reduced broth that fits into a small vile, further contained in a napsack that is a lone bag on the picket fence. Words dont have meaning without the movement of other words and other individuals to make mistakes watching them move, leading us to a mistaken place while we speak in mistaken fallacys about its mistaken nothingness. It is not til later that we say, "Oh i think i under_stand it"... and later, "I think i under'stand it some more"... does that make sense?

@LoseYourvelf imaybe i put it like this... im not quite sure how we transition... theres always some celestial layer than came before like drawing infinitely many arctangents, theres always some blue side around the corner... i just dont know if we know what we are doing to get there, in a graceful, non-staggered manner. Possibly in a way that is reasonably straightforward for the experiencer.

I keep thinkin about how there's gotta be a way, much like when we are asleep and abruptley awoken, something like that has to happen, but for the land of the awake and living. I dont feel like ive experienced something thats reminiscent to what the beginning was, what that clean slate is and theres nothing that i can do, think, or feel that comes close. I think about this white light often, this strange sorta feeling i had during this unfortunate series of events. The light, although a vivid realness to me, it symbolized the door, the wall of doors. Thats the wall of light thats gonna be forced upon us. Can we not walk into that bad boy. Its impossible because it means stripping away things you didnt even know you needed. Its awkward, and, unusual, and it just feels scary in a weird way that isnt immediately obvious. There isnt time to work it out in the moment when its swallowing it whole. Theres no guarantees in any direction... I guess what im tryina say is, if the white light is like a symbol for what we were suppose to do, then i dont get it. I dont understand what should happen, to willingly just get torn apart... Les those pieces lay within some entity that lives and breathes... maybe they float forever in a soup.... ... any sortve celestial direction, its just like... debree and frozen planets... avalanches on planet ice, clouds over moscow... side-ripple mountains... smooth & rough, oil & vinegar soup and like, no way to get there.

If you look at a 4d object (a box) from 3-space, what appears to be a particular angle, you see what looks like a box inside of a box. It should just be "square", but it has these added attributes, much like what happens when a 2-plane experiences a 3d box... This is what each person is seeing, a slice of the wall outside of the box, that is really just a box. When you look at something from a higher dimension, it appears to have added attributes that just appear. In the same way, we are validating reality constantly even though its fundamentally disappearing. If it disappears then it cant be validated. If its validated, then you are a significant part of that, and only you can answer why its a certain way. This is what you feel on higher levels of consciousness, but you dont have a way to communicate it. To ask questions beyond this is a bit strange cause then you want to ask about why it looks like reality and not a box that changes shape. Why does it look like people in a peoples house. Those are valid questions. The box is an analogy. Its self validating. Theres things off screen that are validated, and the things on screen have to be validated. If you find corners of the box that dont make sense then youd presumably move in the opposite direction until it automatically validates off screen. There isnt a definite mechanism here, im just saying, thats what its going to be like...

You have to ask: how you got here, right? What *rule* says that, "What happens is-a linear time scale-That is, you died at the end of it, and a baby is born on the other side" - Thats what youd have to assume is happening. Except... what rule says that?... Thats what you'd be trained to believe in, a sortve linear, logical happening of some sort. Im asking yous so yous can ask the question too.

Im watchin a tv show where the guys like, "clear your mind" to the other person... Clear your mind, clear your mind... Everythings about this clear your mind mantra. Forget about clear your mind , let me introduce the focus on sound in your mind. Focus on your temple lobes, and dont get carried away thinking of each one individually... if you feel like it leans to one side thats fine. If you can keep the focus in the center somehow, thats even better. Theres a wacky wacky world of sound going on, that you would otherwise overshoot on a drug, as its promoted to visualness; Instead you have to overwhelm your ownself w/ sound that you generate yourself. Youll know its right if its like a "Ping!... Pong!" - Type've sound, like a pinball thats bouncing around... You ever hear Super mario when he jumps and makes a little sound?.. Its kindve like that sound, but bouncing off of things... Ive never gone beyond pinball lvl so to speak, but it sortve happen spontaneously after youve really marinated in sound... It has to fully encapsulate the mind. It starts out around the temples, and can fill out the rest of the hemispheres. It helps to put on one of those low HZ cosmic frequencies (the sound in your head should be high though)... the louder the better. and let that marinate into your own sense of frequency and it should happen once you take the headphones off or pause the sound. Iuno why it has to be a low frequency to amplify the high frequency, but its just what ive always done. Anyway, thats all.

@integral Hey srry im responding late. I appreciate your response. I thought of another perspective, which i considered making a separate thread about, but hey... why not continue... So, this is based on an experience i had where i was under anesthesia, specifically ketamine which may or may not be relevant. I had already tried ketamine, just not in anesthesia circumstances, and the weird thing is that, the following all seemed to occur before they actually began the ketamine... Or, in other words... They were transfering me from one table to the other (if youve ever been to the hospital, they wheel you around on those tables, transfering you to the operation table when they get you to the next room)... Anywhoo, i transfered over to the table. At that point, its unlikely they had began the anesthesia, right?... only seconds had passed. Well, i shifted my body onto the table... and the second i laid my head back, it was as if i closed my eyes... and... *blackness*, like... (Not a second passed between laying my head back and everything)... the bright room faded immediately, as i shut my eyes for a second!... So within that second of time, it was as if i had a second-long dream, and in the next second i was opening my eyes inside of another dark room with a tube down my throat, realizing the surgery was already over (i cant stress enough, it was only a second).. And i was now in the recovery room (which itself was a dark room)... Ive never been able to explain it, suffice to say that it proved that a dream-like thing can sweep over you so fast that you cant "intercept" what happened, only that, in one instant you were *here*, and the next instant i was *there*, typeve thing... And this surely extends into other such things as, in one instant - believing we are *this* and in the next instant believing we are *that*. Which is quite odd to imagine, as in dreams the act of stumbling upon yourself means you recover yourself sometimes. So this would be more like, you dream a dream that *replaces* all notions of a prior, that then becomes the technical beginning.... Atleast, hypothetically speaking it would seem that is then possible. What would cause that to happen i dont know.. its a bit odd.. As is, things happening in one instant to the next without recollection. But it demonstrates the feableness of memory tracking memory, or what would be considered as the state of one thing to the next.

Ive had a revelation - So please bare with me so i can get to the point... Its important, atleast i think so - les' anyone is too nervous or too resistant to take it seriously. Recently my cat has been obsessively grooming/biting herself, and the area thats particular sensitive is around the base of her tail. Theres several things it could be a result of, but its occurred to me... These are all the unusual cat things that happen to cats; And likewise, these are all the unusual people-things that happen to people who are watching others that are also experiencing unusual people-symptoms that which happen to people. And its like, isnt there like an obvious meta solution to all of this... For example, anything that my mom sees on the cat is in her mind- a flea... if she bites herself then rest assured, in her mind it'll be due to fleas. Likewise, i would have these friends who would experience whatever they were going through, but the non-meta solutions they kept coming up w/ were that it was a virus or something - you know, unusual experiences that prompted'em to conclude some temporary answer to a problem... And, then that answer becomes the canonical solution from there on out, even if its cyclically wrong... Wrong why?... Well lets continue.... Sometimes there's no solution, sometimes its more like a scenario where too many things are happening, and not one main thing can be concluded as the possible issue - you have to just go with your gut. I keep thinking about life as this random, chaotic situation that is solved by incrementally allowing conclusions to bubble up, that which may not necessarily be right, but they continue to be some kind of action. Actions are like, things that happen in the game_world from something you triggered (or from something else that triggered something else...) Like... They may not necessarily conform to a truth or a fact but they are just actions that remain active, existent. They are for all intents and purposes, a truth or fact to you-or for that time being. You have to be open to the possibility that everything is happening due to actions that may or may not make sense, but that they are like these cyclical decisions that inhabit the game_world. They dont necessarily mean anything. And when they live out their lifetime, they'll be replaced by an equally, rationally-sounding thing that you think is canon to real-rational-reality. It is, in one sense or another, baked in, hardcoded into the fabric - i.e. that place where everything doesnt actually make sense, since you are on to discovering the fact (... while you're experiencing it.) We kindve-sortve taken that for granted, because it happens so briefly. Let us try now... to put this stuff into words, so we can read them, understand them- let them sink in and try to bring them into our dreams to see what is going on. Are dreams are doing alot of work to rearrange things, and create scenes that dont make sense. My dreams are painful. I cant sleep for more than an hour without it just going haywire. I think its like, we just dont understand ourselves, whats going on-and for good reason, right?... Its too chaotix - its like... How can you experience the thing, as the thing you want to see change, or rather... How can you identify what those things are if they are essential components that you've been building up for so long... changing, being modulated... I just felt the need to somehow get the ball rolling on this subject, and this topic specifically. Hopefully others will be able to understand it better and re-explain it from their point of view.

We should have like... a "challenge everything" formula, or just a line of questioning ready to go when you need it, starting with things that are true in this universe like, "Are days of the week real" -like, is sunday a distinct day on earth? Then go to... something like, "Is [month: day: hrs: min: seconds] real. Is that (to you) saying something about the state of things in reality? Or is it a conceptual idea/space, a belief we hold onto in order to not be... like... lost in some other space. This would bring me into a new domain of questioning, but thats like, the *intro* that we can communicate about.

Do yous ever think about like, whats really going on here. On one half, you have this very consistent, very stable life where its predictable. You wake, and do whatever it is you do each day. Then you're tired, tired of that non sense, and you go to imagination land, subsequent images of things that shouldnt make sense are (for all intensive purposes) a reality. And the same way you were 'tired', whatever that means you start to question aspects of this 37-layer-deep dream, or something happens that signifies the next moment of you 'coming to'... And in that now awakened, and responsive last save-state, you do it over again. Like, what is that. Thats not an arbitrary thing, that has to be like a machine of some kind that doesnt exist without one half strolling along w/ consistency, and the other half where things get all strewn about without the recognition of self identity/or anything self-related. But at the same time it exists... just like... perpetually... why... like, can we find out.... like when you were born as a clean slate, what was that?...

i get lost in "positive v. negative", in terms of like... asking those big questions, "how can anything be if i cant even properly descern whats a "this" thing or a "that" thing... like, the cascade that it goes by is constantly being requestioned and thrown back into some staggered state like uhhhmm.... "what is going on", -is my question still... like, in terms of birth, how we were like "max" calm, what is that?... ... ... is what im tryina say.

Do we have a spokes person for someone who inspires people to, aside from integrating with, learn the more general thing that makes ai interesting (as well as that information we need to gleam from it to build all the *rudiments* its generating into separate applications) therein reaching a stage where it is then irrelevant? does that person exist yet?... ill be that person, i dont care, im crazy.

is there anything unique we can do to express ourselves that Ai cannot already accomplish/ thereby invalidating, or dismissing those forms of expression. Its difficult to imagine what those things could be. For example, there's things where you have very specific things that we might consider as an expression of some kind, like maybe the discovery/scientific-related things that are direct products of human accomplishment. Maybe in the future that is more accessible/ interactive thing, that only really applies to humans, since it takes humans to explain those chemical-related experiences for example. So i guess another way to phrase it is, is there anything we can do that makes ai irrelevant.