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Everything posted by Jordan

  1. I was listening to this in the background and he talks about cannibalism and head hunting to be hard to explain to western people. He said that they will eat the human liver or the heart and in some cases use their skill as a pillow to obsorb their energy. I have a feeling part of his decision to look like that is to prove he is fully committed to the tribe and won't be a likely sacrifice haha.
  2. Hey thanks for sharing this. I watched an interview with Daniel Ingram about fire kasina and didn't know about this book. I listened to the first part of the recording of their first fire kasina retreat found on the same website. I got the red dot and different colors with surrounding colors and tendrils coming off of them with it turning black and rotating sometimes. I could see it rotating in 3d a few times. I practised as they were explaining it on the recording. I used the flashlight on my phone instead of a candle since I have no candles right now. It seems really promising object of focus to practice entering the first Jhana.
  3. What you see in the world can be considered a part of imagination although I prefer to call it reality and not part of imagination. Either way, when have you ever controlled even a single thought? An intention to control a thought comes up in your mind without your input and that may set a chain of events that cause a certain thought to come up but you are not the one choosing what is created in your mind. If what you thought could become reality for you, it would be very dangerous and your life would likely fall apart.
  4. I plugged 35mg of 5MeO DMT 2 hours ago and want to write down what I realised while at the height of it. I have tripped around 15 times before I would estimate and I took this amount just once before I am pretty sure. The last several times I did 28mg but I did not get much out of those trips. This one took me pretty deep and I feel like I have something I could learn from it. I went through several situations in my life in flashes of images and saw that everyone wants to maximise loving and helping others but at the same time is afraid of being hurt. They feel their survival is threatened by loving too much. In my relationship with my girlfriend especially, I could see that many times we leave out important information that can cause someone to make the wrong assumptions and conclusions. It seems I don't ask enough questions to get a better sense of how things are going with people and what they need to feel understood and cared for. I will try to be much more curious about learning about people, being truthful with them and finding ways to make them feel special and loved and like they don't need to be afraid of being hurt. Creating new things that help people just seemed like the best thing you can do. I felt like I was made of a massive amount of potential creative energy. I felt like I just need to create something amazing that will help people be able to increase their love for others and lower their fear. I saw people really have a deep desire to help other people but fear is limiting them from doing as they desire. I am not sure what else to say. I can kinda see what Leo means when he says meditative states don't compare with this stuff. I wish I had spent more time contemplating in that state but i started being mesmerised by my hand and looking around my room which seemed like a waste of time in retrospect. I seem to get much more from the trip with my eyes closed. Have a wonderful night/day whoever is reading this.
  5. I just wanted to share a realization I had today to help me get on the same line of thought again. I hope to pick up where I left off here during my lunch break at work. This morning I was planning on meditating for an hour in the morning just concentrating on one point. After 10 min or so I started getting curious about what I am and did self inquiry without even realizing it or thinking of it as self inquiry. The line of thought went that several years ago, I used to think I was my body and my mind. I realized since then that I am aware of my body and mind but I really feel more like the observer of experience. It seems more like I am a passenger in the body and just able to experience the mind without controlling it although it sometimes feels like I am the one making goals and decisions. I remembered in my first or second 5MEO DMT trip I could see that there was an experience with no observer there but did not really get the significance of it. Then I thought that if the observer could be observed by itself, those sensations would still be the experiential object and it wouldn't make sense being both the experiencer and the experience. It seems the observer has no location, size or shape which literally means it is nothing. If it has no location then the distance between the observer and observed is 0. If that just leaves the experience with no observer then why does it seem so much that it is being observed from a point of view? It seems that the experience made up of sensations have the quality of knowing themselves completely right from the lowest level up to the highest. I felt my world view shift a bit. I have been feeling pleasant all day watching my ego take over but seeing though it as an illusion when I have some time to reflect. I don't really have a question about this. Just trying to get in the same frame of mind as this morning.
  6. Purification is removing impurities like heating up ore and separating out the gold. Spiritual purification is like burning away all of the lies about the nature of reality until what you are left with is the truth. it is a metaphor.
  7. So do you typically listen to this while scanning the area around the root Chakra or listen to the sound of the video, or be present of whatever pulls at your attention?
  8. I watched an interview with Daniel Ingram recently and have been listening to different videos on spirituality. I don't remember him stating this sort of thing exactly but he did explain how his experience was in different situations. I am sure something he said influenced my train of thought today. This sort of topic, like who am I, or how to know the truth about something relative, through direct experience, leaves me feeling like I am on the edge of understanding something important but it doesn't fully come to me all at once like I would think it might be possible. I am beginning to think that I should work on my meditation more, and see what makes sense from a more concentrated meditative state. I feel like I can't think or focus properly when trying to understand things from a point of view of non-duality when my thoughts, beliefs and assumptions are rooted in duality.
  9. If you do things against your conscience such as manipulating people and lying, you will feel uncomfortable emotions and you will be believing your own lies so that you can pull them off more convincingly. It will be very difficult to know what is true and what choices to make when you are constantly lying and conceptualizing ways to maintain control. Do you know anyone that manipulates people much more often than average people to get their way? Do you see any cost in living in this way? Your emotions will be all over the place and you will be stressed out all the time. I avoid those people like the plague. Of course there are times when manipulation is worth the cost. Just be aware that it is going to block you from knowing what is true and makes you feel bad emotionally.
  10. I haven't tried satisfaction meditation very much but I have some things you can try if following simple instructions is too hard. It might help to feel the all the different sensations that make you feel unsatisfied or satisfied each separately. Notice that they leave and enter your experience quite often as you check each sensation. Try to understand how cause and effect applies to these unsatisfied or satisfied sensations.
  11. In one of Leo's videos "guided exercise for realizing you are god" he shared a spiritual practice that helped me a lot with this. Your concepts are getting in the way in seeing the beauty of your experience right now. You are explaining away this miracle with your explanations that make the beauty all around you seem mundane. Listen to the video and follow along with your full concentration and see if it works for you.
  12. I am just making this up but I would assume demonic energy is energy that you get from emotions such as anger, hate, embarrassment, greed. I am not sure what demons are but maybe they can give you energy and call it demonic energy.
  13. I just wanted to do a quick update. I have been switching my "Bama Nam Kevalam" mantra with focusing on emotions and using visualizations to shower them with acceptance, love and appreciation. I started Sunday night. I got the idea from a friend that said he started meditating on the "letting go" technique by David Hawkins. I looked at YouTube videos on it and I made up a much better meditation technique by combining other things I picked up from places I don't remember. I might make a video explaining it and doing a guided meditation when I flesh it out more. I have still been remembering my dreams almost every day but I think they are less memorable when I have switched the meditation technique. I might just end the meditation with the mantra for 20 min so I can continue to enjoy dreaming. I also started chelating with 200MG of DSMA and 50 MG of ALA every 3 hours last night. I had stopped when I got Covid 19 then just fell out of the habit of doing it. I started feeling very tired and like it is hard to focus in the last 2 hours of my job today. I am not sure if it is from the pills or from being tired not getting the best sleep waking up after 3 hours and only sleeping 6 hours. I was feeling very energized this morning.
  14. I would guess they would be afraid of pain although not nearly as much as other people in the same situation.
  15. last night i did 40 min of mantra meditation on "Baba Nam Kevalam" I woke up 3 times during the night remembering my dreams. I did not feel full of energy like I did the night before when I woke up so I fell asleep fairly quickly after. I just remember 2 of the dreams now. In one of the dreams, I was at some sort of crowded street festival. There did not seem to be enough food for everyone. I came up with the plan to set a food stand there and sell meals for $25 each. I remember estimating I could bring 100 meals in a rolling box there and profit $20 each meal making around $2000 in one day. In another dream I was in a classroom. We could move around the classroom to wherever we wanted to sit in the room. I kept losing my text book and started using a used one with some wear and tear on it. I was preparing for a quiz that we would be taking soon. I didn't know much about the subject but hoped I could just figure it out by myself without knowing what to expect. The details are a bit fuzzy now. I remember going from one side of the room because someone took my seat while I went to look for my textbook and I sat beside a cute Asian girl after finding an open seat somewhere else. The teacher came over and questioned me on some of the class material and I was really struggling to figure it out.
  16. Wow, I didn't write in this since October. I injured my back for a few weeks then my SI joint went out and I had a lot of pain around my hips so I stopped exercising. I plan to start exercising again but will be just doing whatever exercise I feel like every day before or after work. I have done maybe 5-6 5MEO trips since then but it did not seem worth writing down. More of the same stuff taking around 20mg of 5MEO MALT or around 25 mg 5MEO DMT. I think I will take a break from taking those until a feel like trying some more again. I have been meditating a lot over the winter break. Probably around 4 hours per day around 30 min - 75 min each time. Last night I tried a mantra meditation for 40 minutes that I had not done for a while. I had a vivid dream just like I used to get while using that technique earlier last year. The other meditating I had been doing did not seem to effect my sleep much. I woke up after 3-4 hours and felt like a had a lot of energy. Better than I usually do after 8-9 hours of sleep. I meditated, did a bit of exercise, then went back to bed because I wanted to make sure I wasn't too tired later in the day. I will try the mantra meditation again tonight and see if it has a similar effect. I plan to just stay up if I feel well rested and wake up earlier than I usually do. I might try keeping track of the dreams here. Dream from January 2, 2023 night: I was watching my friend play a game of Starcraft 2. It was a Protoss vs Protoss match. He lost a game but was going to play a rematch. I recommended that he switch up his strategy and attack with a quick zealot speed upgrade with mostly zealots, sentries and a few stalkers but he didn't follow my advice and did his normal strategy just to lose again. I woke up at around 4am and went to bed a bit after 12am.
  17. -Exercise, stretch and massage my legs everyday in an attempt to heal from my knee pain. I hope to be able to run 10x around a track by June without knee pain. -Meditate 1hr everyday - I just want to do as many days as I can in a row. I did 100 days in a row several years ago so if I can do more than that then I would consider it a success.
  18. Ahh man I shouldn't have watched that and the one first one ChadT shared right before bed. That is really exhilarating.
  19. Hey there, I know this is not really a workout forum but I have not been part of one of those forums for many years so I thought I would check here first. I decided to start working out. It has been around 10 years since I started working out regularly. I made up a workout plan with exercises I like and that I can do at home. If anyone has any experience and can give any tips if you see anything I could change to improve it then please let me know. I have been very excited about starting to workout again and I even recorded my first workout. I am just looking for any advice or encouragement Here are the exercises: Diamond pushups Pushups with raised legs on a chair Door frame pull ups Bent over one arm dumbbell row Overhead press Rear delt row Iso reverse crunch Bicycles ATG split squat Side leg lift Tibialis raises Calf raises I plan to do 4 sets of each exercise and try to rest just 15 seconds between each exercise just doing as many as I can with good form. I just take as long as I feel I need between exercises trying not to take too long of a break. The short break I thought might save time and let me feel more of a burn on more of my reps. I think maybe I should add in a Romanian deadlift exercise to hit my hamstrings more. Is there anything obvious I am missing?
  20. Aurum mentioned massage but I would like to bring it up again. Self-massage with a lacrosse ball got me from not being able to use a computer more than 5 minutes because of wrist pain to being nearly 100% better. It was all caused my tight muscles in my chest, back and lats. If you have any tight muscles anywhere in your body, then use a lacrosse ball to massage and release the tension. It has also helped me with healing from foot and knee pain. It might not be needed for everyone but for people that do need it, it is a huge quality of life and health boost.
  21. Hey thanks. The only gyms I have used in the past are city rec center gyms and they were a bit overcrowded. I did not like to have to wait for a bench or squat station or lift right beside someone else. I also don't have to worry about sweating a lot and I can workout with my shirt off. Also it is nice having my own bathroom and shower and kitchen right there. I am not sure if more expensive places have this problem. If they have lots of room and keep it nice and cold it might be worth it. I like the idea of spending the money that I would spend on a gym membership for a year on my own equipment. I don't have that much room but maybe I could get rid of my couch and kitchen table
  22. Ok thanks. I plan to check how many calories I am eating and grams of protein, fat, carbs. I eat nearly the same thing every day so it should be easy. I weigh 175lbs so I will see if I am in the 140-175g of protein range. Right now I am lifting at home and just have pushup stands and dumbbells. I might be able to start a routine of going to my friend's house on Sundays to use his gym setup. I would like to start going to the gym and try the workout plan you shared at some point, but it is convenient exercising at home for now. Today I did nearly the same exercises as the first day but I gave more time to rest, did not go to failure most of the time and only did 2 sets for most of the lifts and 1 set on the shoulder, ab, calf and tibialis exercises. I did not try fast concentric lifting, but it does seem like a good idea. What I did today: (reps just as many as I could until I got close to failure) #of sets / exercise 2x atg split squat 2x dumbbell Romanian deadlift 1x calf raise 1x tibialis raise 2x diamond pushups on my knees (triceps were too sore) 2x pushups with feet on a chair 2x pull ups on a door frame 2x bent over 1 arm dumbbell rows 1x Dumbbell alternating hand overhead press 1x Read delt row 1x ISO reverse crunch 1x bicycle Today: 18 sets with around 1-2 min rest between sets / exercises First day: 40 sets with doing my best to do a 15 second rest between sets / exercises Took almost the same time. Still feeling motivated to keep it up. Thanks again for your input and explanation.
  23. Thanks. I reread that. It seems my 12 exercises with 4 sets each 15 second breaks all to failure 3x per week and wanting to add in Romanian deadlift in is a bit more than ideal. My body seems to be aching in agreement haha. I will think over my plan for tomorrow's workout.
  24. Ahh I read 5x5 instead of 3x5 I think because I heard my friend talk about the 5x5 workout so many times in the past. I appreciate your input. I will experiment with how my body feels with more rest time between sets and less sets. For some reason I kind of like trying to get DOMS. I have heard before that more DOMS does not mean more muscle gains but my brain has a hard time believing that sometimes. It makes me feel like I am doing the right thing if I do many drop sets and can barely move for a week. I will try my best not to overdo it.