manuel bon

@Princess Arabia thank you for the insight❤️

@Applegarden8 thank you, have a fast recovery!!

what are these practices?

@LastThursday thank you for the great advice, ill look into NLP for sure. Yes, I do want to unlearn this behavior. In the toxic ways of my family, I learned to scream, fight, offend, and more. I detached from them and I'm becoming different in many aspects, but I'm still trying to work on this one. It's very difficult because I don't get angry very often, and when I do I have to be 10x mindful (with daily things it's easier to unlearn or change things, but if it happens once a month is tougher)

@Ero I might start going again, thank you for the idea... I don't do any sport so that's a problem for sure

I like bouldering, but I'm a guitarist and I need nails to play. with that, I ruin them or even break them

uf I get so bored at the gym... I've been going for years, but maybe I should start again, do more cardio, make my heart run a bit haha

@Princess Arabia I totally agree with you with most of what you say. Yes, those are stories, but they do happen in the now, and it's a very unpleasant now. I am doing strong mindfulness work, and I can say that I live in the now most of the time, me making this post is about reflection and growth, not about blaming or criticizing. The problem is not anger, as I said before, but how I act because of it. I can move on, and I do, but the people that I hurt don't. And apart from this, I simply don't want to hurt the people around me (this is what the whole post is about, but maybe I was not clear enough), and if I learn what anger is, and how to deal with it, I can be a healthier person with myself and others. Hence this post.

Nice not to be alone🙂

Btw I'm glad that for you it's not a big deal!

@Schizophonia I see your point and I agree. I live abroad away from my family, but I come back once per month/2 months. I will go back to my city after I finish my studies to help my mom. This situation has become terrible, and it's not about helping my dad anymore, it's about helping my mom. She's alone and has only me and my brother. Anyway I think I have an anger problem, and in this case my dad is the main trigger, but if he wouldn't be, it would probably be my mom, or other things, idk. I can't walk away from problems because they make me angry. That's why I ask about anger here, to see which are the ways to be better.

It's a good advice and I'll use it with people, thank you! Even tho I recognize that in the moment I'm angry it's difficult to have a lucid mind and be able to communicate effectively like this.

@Sugarcoat you can't communicate to him, he won't understand. One example is: my mom, dad, and I are in another country for him to do an intensive therapy. After the accident tho, he became super lazy, and he doesn't want to do. We try to explain that he has to do it to have his life back, and also because we spent tens of thousands of euros for this. And he says: "yes yes!". But he doesn't really understand. Or maybe he does, but he doesn't remember. So if in some moment I communicate my anger he doesn't understand. Or maybe he starts laughing for no reason.

I do accept anger itself, but not how I act. I can't be violent with words and actions. I accept the emotion but I don't want to act the way I do.

I understand. What is your relationship with anger? Do you or did you also have the reactions I get? If yes do you want to change them/did you manage to change them?

@Sugarcoat I understand. But I feel my main anger issues come from my dad. He has a brain injury and it's indeed frustrating and difficult af. Most of the times I'm compassionate and trying to be helpful etc. but it's super difficult. This is the situation that probably creates blocked and suppressor anger.

Is it an online course? @Ishanga

⚫ Dad I'm tired of this family situation. I'm tired of having a mentally injured father. He's not my father anymore. I'm tired, sick, sad, and depressed. It's tough and I want this story to end. It's giving too much difficulty and pain to my mom, and everyone around him.

just because someone is worse than me it doesn't mean that i shouldn't be feeling low

@_Archangel_ yeah I think so, I have to learn things from other stages to keep evolving. What I don't like is the fact that even tho I want to learn from the orange stage, I still want to act according to green values and principles, but I think I'm not doing it anymore. Maybe I just need to learn to balance.

I'm a really emotional person and just let go works for me. So I think it's personal: words have different impact on everyone.

The fact that you're emotional doesn't mean that you need arrogance or narcissism.

Wtf

🟠 How am I doing lately? I'm again I started writing in this journal again. I want to make it a habit, do it daily. I want to do it for myself, I want to do it to feel better, grow, and learn. It's been some difficult months, emotionally speaking, and I am struggling a bit in general. I feel I am changing, and it makes me reflect. Before summer 2024, I was all about selflessness, meditation, calmness, and this kind of living. I didn't think about money, I was almost fully in the green stage of SD (at least this is how I felt). I didn't judge people, didn't like gossip, trying to be good with people. A negative thing was that I was smoking a lot of weed, sometimes even daily. I love weed, but I understood that it's not good for me, I would not let myself feel the emotions I had, and it harms the body. Now I see, that after that, I went back to stage orange. Well, actually maybe I never was in that stage fully, since I'm still a student, and I never made money, and didn't live life "as an adult". I started investing, I want to start a business, and make lots of money. But I see that the way I act and the way I am is not the same as before. I talked about this with my girlfriend, and she said that I can be at this stage, think about starting a business and making money, but my values can still be the same from last year. I can still meditate, not complain and judge, not gossip, etc. And that's true, I agree with her, but I am scared because I don't feel like before. I know things change, our body and mind are different every day and change, but I don't want to feel the way I feel. I decided to start a business while I'm still a student, I want to teach meditation and mindfulness to musicians, since I know that these practices are not taught or known a lot in this world. I started an Instagram account and a website, offering coaching and guitar lessons (I am a certified meditation teacher, finished my bachelor's degree in classical guitar, and am currently doing the master's, with my thesis about this topic). I am happy because this is a more conscious business in my opinion, but I don't know how to scale it. I don't have customers yet, I have under 100 followers on Instagram, and the ones I got are only because I spent 20€ in advertising a post. I feel I'm just starting out, but hopefully this can be something great.

@Nemra ah, okay. Yes, it's pretty easy. Although I think they are implementing new regulations and making many of them illegal, I'm not sure; I haven't looked into it yet. Also, I bought only once from a website and everything was fine, but I'm always scared to use these things, idk which are scams and which are not