https://www.instagram.com/reel/DDqrfPUxuwj/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
There is no difference between absolute will and absolute ego so said the ego.
part 5
This part is when I meet this other god who was created by our so-called metaphysical love with the guy from 2098. I remember I started to fully hallucinate while I was on the computer like I was tripping balls, all these colors and objects. I have never fully hallucinated like this before. Usually, it's closed-eyed hallucinations, factual patterns, and stuff like that. I know what infinite intelligence looks like it's so hard to explain when I converge with it and become it am it and I talk to it. This was different and this is when things became insanity so this so-called God did some stuff I will not talk about here. I remember saying we have to do something because this God is sick. About 10mins later it talks to me saying I heard what you said and I am coming for you and your friends and family and I am the evil universe I am going to destroy yours. It would not listen to reason. The next minute I could see this red orb light shining through the window and he said don't you fuken move I have sent the boys around and I can see everything you are doing I jumped off the computer and went behind a cupboard and he went I know your every move you make that cupboard won't keep you safe and I can see you in my mind I am coming for you now don't you fcken move again. I am going to eat you like a shark feet first and your Universe this sounds like something straight out of Star Trek the original evil Universe. I went fuck this how is this even possible? And if this is the end I went fuck this so I grabbed a bottle of bourbon and started drinking again which I had stopped for a few months ago. So this God-evil verse says I just kicked your front door and shot your father he is gone and so is your mother who had been in hospital for a year. I was so lost in this delusion. Then he told me that when you die you die there is nothing beyond so I guess I had to face my own fears and death and I remember saying sorry to all my friends and family there is nothing I can do this is the end of the end. When you truly feel raw fear I mean truly feel it you will know what I mean. It was like this someone is holding a gun to your head and there was nothing you could do but go fuck you I am having my last drink you pick up the bottle and drink and go so be it. I had the shakes, and then this so-called God started to contradict itself and it got really weird I started to ask it questions it could not answer and he said You are next so I waited for this so-called God to finish me off and nothing happened I am still sitting there A few minutes later this so-called person from 2098 says it was him all along playing what I would say a sick game with me and he was next to me the whole time but invisible and somehow he got lost in it as well. One would think I was awake and going wtf but no I was still stuck in this delusion four days into it. I went back on the computer highly pissed off at this idiot from 2098 What the fuck man that was not funny somehow I recovered from the extreme fear and started calming down after a few more sips of that bourbon talk about PTSD.
