Nico

There has been very good advice by everyone here. I feel you can apply the same concepts they have described about "being an introvert and becoming an extrovert" with the ability to build strong connections. I am going through the same thing and trying to deal with the issue. For me, personally, there are times when I feel small talk is a waste of time and energy. I can be social in most situations if I put in the effort, but, just like you, there are times when I'm exhausted and become more reserved. I believe that having that genuine interest would help build stronger connections. Rather than striking up conversations only to become more social and outgoing, do it also because you're interested in having conversation with them. Not only will you find commonalities that build connections (such as interest in intellectual conversations), you will slowly desensitize the mental label that you are "introverted" and belief that conversations are a burden and are (excessively) energy-draining. It's a lot easier to connect with people with similar hobbies because there are common interests that intrigue you and naturally build a strong connection. Being self-expressive takes away the feeling that conversation is forced and also detaches you from outcome. As stated above, detaching yourself from the outcome and becoming independent of other people's opinions allow you to be more authentic, comfortable around others, and comfortable with silence. It will probably get some people disliking you regardless, but at least you are being authentic to yourself (and filtering out negative people from your life). The next time you feel exhausted and still can't form conversation, fully feel it instead of resisting it. If you feel anxious or worried about what others think, rather than thinking, "I should be outgoing. I should be making conversation. I should feel comfortable.", fully accept and embrace the emotions you're feeling. Feel the sensations in your body and be aware of your thinking, without judgement. Over time, the more mindful you are, the more you will feel comfortable and less you will feel negative emotions.