Sincerity

Like I said already: when a woman is loved, provided for and taken care of, she will be open and she will contribute. And if she doesn’t, there’s something wrong and the relationship should probably be ended. Of course one person cannot (and should not) handle everything. There must be a balance.

@Someone here You received plenty of good, practical advice in this thread. In your original post you stated your view of a relationship and your reasons for going into it, which were pointed out to you as immature. Later on you backtracked with some platitudes, but it’s obvious that you meant it. You don’t need to hide it. A roundabout answer to your question of „when” is: at best when you develop a proper attitude, because with your current mindset the relationship would most likely not be healthy. The feedback you received was practical, if you’re willing to consider it.

Read the rest of what I said. You took it completely out of context. Also, I explicitly replied to you with this: „When you love, you act for another. If she doesn’t give anything back, there is something wrong there.”

Please read my reply to you again and point to where I said that it’s okay when a person has „love” and is „nice” but doesn’t do anything for their partner.

Is this a serious reply to my post? Don’t start trolling when you don’t have any proper response.

Expectations and gratitude can co-exist, in my view. They do in my relationship. My woman is grateful for what I deliver, even when she expects it (because I promised). But this gratitude also comes from the recognition that we don’t have to be with each other. We choose to, because we love each other. And we do things for one another. Everyday there’s so many things to be thankful for to each other. I think they are gendered. Fundamentally, the masculine is more reliable than the feminine. And the man is usually more masculine, while the woman is more feminine. You can think of it as masculine = absolute, feminine = ever-changing. But a man/woman is masculine/feminine in various degrees. There is no black and white, there are shades of grey.

The key insight is that to love is to ACT from love. Just having fluffy feelings is not enough. When you love, you act for another. If she doesn’t give anything back, there is something wrong there.

Well, I think there is some truth in framing it that way. Hear me out. I think it is right that a woman has more expections towards a man than the other way around. Because a man is reliable and „his word is his honor”, so to say. If a man is unreliable and untrustworthy, a woman cannot trust him and give herself away to him. So in order for a woman to trust, she must EXPECT from the man to act on his word, to deliver, to keep her safe. That is her stability - being sure of the MAN’s stability, expecting it, counting on it from him. On the other hand, when you expect things from a woman she feels like she is put in a box. And feeling like this, women often become emotional and rebel. This should be expected. Fundamentally, a woman is (usually) more of a free spirit and expectation is killing that spirit. A woman prefers to act out of love (without expectation) and when she does, she will do a LOT of shit for you. I know from experience. Expecting from a woman in a polarized relationship is, in my view, usually not the way to go. There are exceptions of course, eg. with parenting. A woman shouldn’t just choose on a whim to not pick the child up from school. A woman must also be reliable to a degree, because parenting requires responsibility. And I understand that a man can also feel imprisoned by expectation. I know these feelings, I can still have them. But I think a mature man comes to terms with expectations, because he is aware that HE IS CHOOSING THEM. Nothing really imprisons a man. You CHOOSE to be the stability for a woman, out of love. And you know that a woman is not stability, she’s quite the opposite. And that’s okay. Fundamentally, what’s expected of a man is what he promises to deliver. A woman must have clarity on what she can expect and what she can not. And the man chooses what is expected of him. So nothing is happening against his will. Again, of course it’s not black and white, a woman must also be reliable to a degree (= have some masculinity in her) and a man also wants to express himself spontaneously and emotionally every so often (= expressing the feminine nature). There must be a healthy balance. There must be communication in the relationship about each other’s needs. But in general, the woman is more feminine and the man is more masculine. And I personally love this.

In my view, there is a lot of truth in what Princess is saying, but it might be clouded by emotion (which can also be understood given this is a male-dominated forum). I think the best scenario is when a man gives (eg. by paying the bills) AND doesn’t expect back. This makes the woman feel loved and free. Due to this she feels compelled to give back, out her love and true will. When you lay the expectation that a woman should do certain things for you because you do certain things for her, this creates a relationship based on transactionality. Instead, the better way is to give without expectation AND receive anyway. A love-based relationship. A man must be able and willing to cook for himself, clean, all that stuff. If he isn’t willing to do that, that’s weak and pathetic. A woman is not a paid nanny. BUT the woman will often do these things for him out of love. Because she feels free, safe, taken care of, loved. Of course a man should not be okay with being objectively exploited. No. If a woman is exploiting a man and not taking in his love and naturally giving back, she is not participating in the love-based relationship a man invites her to, and so this relationship must end. However, this doesn’t usually happen. A woman usually gives back naturally. And of course, communication about the vision for the relationship and boundaries between the two parties is always appropriate. A man respects himself. But also, a man is generous. All is good when love flows through the relationship and communication and mutual respect are maintained.

The thing is that (supposedly) you want a love-based relationship, but you're going at it focusing on what you're going to get. This is not a mature position to enter a relationship from, because it is fundamentally contrary to a LOVE-based relationship. You create a love-based relationship by wanting to GIVE, not get. Why would you want to give? Because it grows you. A lot. But also it just so happens that when you give a lot, you get a lot. Much more than when you go at it with the attitude of wanting to get, actually. ^ This

Guys, please post mindfully. Watch for emotional reactions. Respect one another. Strive to understand.

Data analyst

You don't follow because you've never had an experience of awakening and seeing so clearly the totality of experience. You did not see Infinity. You never took psychedelics. For you it's just speculation and intellectualizing like "reality is infinite in all directions and dimensions and bla bla bla". Parroting others. That which you've been doing for the entirety of your time on this forum. Just reminding you of this.

People, please engage with respect for one another and post mindfully. Don't just spew out your beliefs unconsciously. Are you here just to argue? Please revisit the Conscious Politics Guidelines for this subforum. And if you treat each other disrespectfully, warnings will fly. One user was already warned for their posts here.

Well, at least now you admit what your true political stances are, instead of playing that false game of being "unbiased". I knew you were a crypto right winger since you first posted in the US election thread. Just own it dude. You'd be more truthful then. Also, fanboying for Vivek... cringe.

Ugh. Everything feels purposeless. Like I'm not doing anything meaningful in the world. What am I doing it all for? I really like my job. My profession interests me. I love my partner. She's the greatest girlfriend ever. I like the close people around me. And I like myself quite a bit. But I'm still feeling hollow. God fucking dammit! I literally don't know what to do with myself lately sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of shit to do. And I'm doing it step by step, although now I have less energy for these chores of life. But after I feel all is done I just don't know what to do. Introspection feels meaningless. Expression feels impossible. I'm having some god damn fucking blockage with my expressiveness, I feel like I don't wanna give to the world, I don't wanna share out, express. Ughhhhhhhh. FUCK!

Go for it. I work 100% remote, but I can go to the office whenever I want. Sometimes I do, especially when I’m feeling a bit drowsy/down but I really need to be focused. It’s def easier to be more concentrated at the office. Less distraction. But on slower days at work being at the office is needless and a waste of time to me. Remote work is definitely cool. I’m very grateful for it. But onsite work has its perks as well. You can more easily „close your workday” after you leave the office. You can meet with people. Free snacks/drinks if they have it. All that stuff.

Tried that with my cat, she just became annoyed with me.

@Davino Hey man, thanks so much for reaching out. A wave of nihilism washed over me for about a week but it's alright. I enjoy life and I really have some great people around me, especially my gf. Love to you as well! Maybe we'll talk again some other time when we're not both in a rush. 🤙

What?

Who's going to tell him?

At least I have some nice people around me. I wonder what would happen if I died. Like, I jump off of a bridge and what then? Would the change in state/reality feel better? Sigh. Fuck. The pointlessness is getting to me again.

I was on sick leave from work today and yesterday. Yesterday I laid in bed most of the day. Today I sprung into action with mostly doing household stuff. It's satisfying. It's really a shame a weekend isn't 3 days long instead of 2. I find from experience that the 3rd day is absolutely crucial for me to rest. It's so hard to rest in 2 days when there's a lot of stuff to do which you don't have time for during workdays. Might sound entitled and shit but I really wish we had a 4-day workweek. That doesn't matter if I don't plan to work for a corporation in the future, but at least for the moment, and for other people... that'd be nice. If I could, I would most likely even opt in to a 4-day 10h workweek.

Btw, look up what this channel is posting. This is some awful right-wing propaganda. There is no law in Poland allowing for shooting of illegal migrants.