Sincerity

Here we go again. Today I was scrolling through Instagram and I saw a meme about God promoting someone to "veteran difficulty". The guy was saying "it doesn't have to be like this..." and God replying "yeah, it does". The meme was based on a scene from Breaking Bad. Anyways, I scrolled through the comments and saw these replies. Many other people wrote comments of this sort too. Haha, it's just some normie speaking, right? He doesn't know what's up. But am I not the same as this man? When shit hits the fan and I fall into a "bad state", I start to curse God and think evil of Him. It's like... once again I am falling into a state of hopelessness. I can't focus. I am literally overwhelmed by fear. Previously I could overcome it but now I just can't even if I try. I can't escape even though I'm trying! FUCK! I must contemplate or meditate or whatever I don't fucking know what but I can't go through this again. God damn it... I'm so weak. It's hard to have hope in states like this.

Contemplate it for yourself. Then maybe You'll actually understand and thus actually stop. idea: sit with a notebook for 1 hour minimum and ask what is gossip? Why do I gossip, what compels me? What do I gain from it? etc. Your answers are 100x more valuable than others'.

When bad things happen, I know you want to believe they are a joke. But sometimes, life is scary, and dark. That is why we must find the light. (BMO) You don't understand! If you were me you'd do the things I've done. (Ice King) Such is the cruel physics of love: that those who crave it most repel it. Adventure Time makes me so emotional... :'( God dammit... .... Everything is just so difficult sometimes.

Am I doing that? Personal growth is certainly useful. I didn't say don't go get laid. By all means, go for whatever You need. But also about this personal growth leading to less suffering... Well, I don't know. I'd say it's like an infinite game of whack-a-mole. You solve one of your "problems", then another one is born. It's not solving the root cause because the hunger for more is infinite - so is this really less suffering in the long-term? The game is "won" by letting it go, and that's one way of looking at spiritual growth. Anyways, I still don't know how this relates to my responses. Either You missed my point or yours is flying over my head. Basically what I said was for the guy not to be naive and get attached to this temporary surge of joy and think this is it. Because it’s gonna fade. And remembering that there is the possibility of true Heaven.

I don't see how this is a response to what I wrote. Perhaps we're coming from different places and thus misunderstanding each other.

I beg to differ. Again, I'd say that mind has an infinite capacity to forget AND remember. Also, old habits of the mind die hard. One day You realize You've never been a loser and that life is perfect. The next day You forget and in your powerlessness question whether it's even worth living. And then it's all joy again. It's a matter of state. But of course real growth IS possible. You CAN in the long-term transcend limiting beliefs, ground yourself in more conscious states, learn to not be fooled by thoughts and fears, etc. It's just not as easy as "now I'm feeling on top of the world so this must mean I have reached the end!" Also, when I said this will pass, I referred to the burst of joy. Obviously each experience "stays" with You to some extent. At least that's all what I think. I'm only speaking from my experience and beliefs.

It's a matter of what friends You have. Good friends tell each other the truth and not keep each other in delusions. If a naive man is told by another fellow man a harsh truth and he reacts negatively and rejects it pettily, he is not only naive but also weak. A quote from David Deida's book: Notice I told him that he's gonna make it and that even greater things are awaiting him. Is that not great news?

I don't think You realize how many of these "top valuable contributors" have been banned here already. Bro what The audacity.

And I give You a choice: Come with Me to the End and the Beginning Or struggle here awhile like a beautiful autumn leaf.

Finn... Do You remember? I love this clip. So far I'm still going strong. But I had a vision yesterday... 1) The Night is coming. I will be brought to my knees. I'm going to have to persevere and let God guide me, otherwise... I don't know what will happen. 2) For the past 3 weeks I've been overcoming so much fear it's incredible. Journaling every other day, spending much time in deep contemplation and observation. Deconstructing my illusions and fears, seeing them for what they are. That's all good. I've never lived like this before. But I realized there is the ultimate fear still awaiting me: the fear of death. It's what KO'ed me at the end of July and put me in a dark state for about 4 months. And now I'm going to have to revisit it... ... Man... Yesterday during deep contemplation I cried and begged for God to free me from myself. To free me from this utter stupidity, this falsehood, this complete idiocy. I don't know shit, I'm a complete egotist and devil and so I begged God to take me over and do His Will through me. And in His Love He responded. Your wish will be granted. I love You. Get up and live. This gave me some hope. Just to be clear. I've said this before and I'll say it again. I don't know if this is really God talking to me or if I'm fucking deluded and sneakily placing thoughts in a way that it feels like someone is speaking through me. But it doesn't fucking matter. I'm going to completely obliterate myself 'til there's nothing left of me. I'm going to deconstruct fucking EVERYTHING. Every illusion, every fear. I'm going to observe myself 'til my god damn fucking death. Thoughts can't control me. Fear can't control me. I WANT THE TRUTH! I WANT TO GIVE THIS IDIOCY UP! And I'm gonna do whatever it takes. * * * * * * * * * * * * Btw, I'll say I really like this journal. It feels like an authentic expression of me... I'm proud of it, even. Yes, I'm gonna let some egotism slide in. Fuck You.

I'm surprised this thisintegrated guy is even still here.

I think that if one wants to lower their IQ and work ethic, they will find a way. Other social media platforms such as Instagram or Youtube have already implemented their response to the Tik Tok format anyway -- reels, YT shorts, etc.. Same thing, basically. I don't know what the answer is. Personally I would like Tik Tok to be banned but who am I to say what others can and cannot do.

It's good design that people here are required to put thought into their posts and replies. There is nothing wrong with leaving statements and reading the statements of others. I think we learn more in this format, in contrast to a live chat.

Not to be a bummer, but You know this will pass, right? You are nowhere near "the end to your story" or "true happiness". Enjoy this burst of joy and motivation You're experiencing right now. Don't get discouraged, enjoy it! Surf the wave! But don't kid yourself this is the end. There are many dark times ahead of You - and You're gonna make it! But it's gonna be hard. Never underestimate mind's capacity to forget. Capacity to forget about the joy, the beauty, why You're doing anything, your Nature, all that stuff. So don't get attached to your current state! The good news is that mind also has an infinite capacity to remember. So even though this burst shall pass, it will come back again in a deeper, more mature form and You will feel even better than now. True Happiness is "something" "you" will never "have". True Happiness is complete surrender. It's Heaven. So in short: good for You, enjoy it, but don't be naive

I was reminded of this Nobody beats Jim Carrey at idiotic dancing lol.

Now that I think about it, doing so WITHOUT a wing must be in an entirely different ballpark than with one. Although the latter can still difficult if one has problems letting loose. Nevertheless... man. I must go for a level of confidence like this in my life.

Wow, that's a chad move 100%. Great idea!

Look how much fear there is in You. FACE IT HEAD ON! SEE IT FOR WHAT IT IS! IT'S NOTHING! You are enslaved by all these illusions. You are being puppeteered by your own mind and demons. Aren't You tired of this? The reason to stay alive is because there IS light at the end of the tunnel. You don't see it now, but it's there. There is redemption for You, which is seeking You as much as You are seeking it. But You have to be strong and persevere. Face your fear! See its utter fakeness. It's all talk and no bite, it can't do anything to You. You have the power to overcome it, but You have to really want it. Do yourself a favor and BREAK FREE. Your fear cannot really control You. It's You who's giving it so much power. You're letting it control You. If you realize this, You can stop and live on your own terms, genuine to You. Say it with me: THOUGHTS CAN'T CONTROL ME ANYMORE. FEAR HAS NO POWER OVER ME. I AM FREE TO CHOOSE WHAT I TRULY WANT. I suggest You get in a contemplative mood and really observe your mind, dissect your fears, notice your thoughts and try to see them for what they are. Go deep, courageously. After all, You are fighting for Yourself. It's a damn good thing to fight for.

This reminds me of Sunny fighting himself in OMORI. Great game. I see myself in it.

My fate is being decided. I am being haunted by the most vile thoughts I've ever seen. "They" know my exact weak points and hit them with all their "power". It feels literally demonic. This capacity for self-hatred is truly astounding. When I have the strength to be conscious, calm down and focus, I can see them for what they are and say NO. That's ENOUGH. And that's good... but they keep coming back over and over again. When I don't have this strength, I get lost again, distract myself and fall for these wretched and suicidal thoughts. If I ever fall for too long and I'm not alert, it's not out of the question that I do something final on autopilot one day. I hope it doesn't happen, but it's anybody's game. At times I feel like I'm hanging by a thread. I gotta be vigilant.

Oh nice! Fear is the unknown! That's a really good one. Ah yes. The "cement"... without any solidity. The "defined"... on the ground of undefinability. Allows the illusion to "exist". Reality is such a mystery lol.

Neat! Very good post. The insight that this game is unwinnable and unsustainable is spot on to me. I haven't considered it so explicitly. Also, your post screams to me "NEED TO CONTROL". Not only is it resistance, but a perverted desire to control reality and it's what creates misery and suffering. Everybody wants to rule the world, as they say. Thanks! Hmm. I haven't considered what You're mentioning here. I can see that fear is not bad per se. There's nothing REALLY 'bad' about it AND it is Love like everything else, but I have a hard time seeing how fear is good (existentially). I'd be willing to admit that fear is perverted love, because 'you' certainly like your limitedness and boundaries, 'you' love them. And 'you' DESIRE to be that way. But it's not genuine desire, it's not the voice of your spirit to say it more poetically, is it not? I would add to the list: Fear is challenge Fear is desire (but limited/perverted) Fear is love (but limited/perverted) In my contemplation I tried to dive into what fear IS. Not really how to approach it. You are certainly right that fear can be used in good and bad ways, that fear motivates you to grow and overcome it and that courage is overcoming fear. Mindset is #1. But in my opinion fear itself is not good. What's good is overcoming it. There is nothing good, redeeming or admirable about weakness (because that's what I suggest fear is). To clarify: I don't mean that one should be harsh with themselves because of their weakness/fear/shame or anything. No. Self-love is of crucial importance. But it's also important to call things by their name... AND accept them, without needing to control them desperately. OR maybe I am too stuck in my own perspective to see what You're seeing. Always an option. Also after more consideration I'd add fear is a protective force.

Oh, that's cool I was only surprised that she said it so explicitly. Good for You! And good luck!

She TOLD You she is ready to have sex? What? What's your relation to her? Are You dating?

Congrats!! Really impressive I'm starting to realize this too. Thanks for sharing your insights!