Sincerity

Ego backlash is a bitch, man. But I will muster up the strength sooner or later. I WILL break free. Or rather let go. I can't reject myself forever.

https://www.actualized.org/insights/how-to-plug-psychedelics

When You're in that state, that's what You are. The ego is not different from You in the slightest. It's not absurd at all. I mentioned fighting because I sensed aversion towards ego from your post. (using the word "ruining') Yes. But it must be done with a proper attitude. You ain't gonna dissolve it when You're averse to it. Because ironically this aversion is ego LOL. God loves ego completely. Btw, I'll just note that while I'm saying this I'm nowhere near above it. I'm not done fighting with myself.

Yea. It also "said" it likes spending time with friends and family. What? It's very impressionable. Basically it will spout whatever it counts as most "correct".

I'm glad You took it in with the right spirit. Much love.

Ohh, red flag. You DO have things You genuinely want to create in life. Don't miss that.

Dude. So many points about this. 1) Even if You someday wake up to your God Nature You will forget about it anyways. And then come back again. And then forget again. It's your nature to get lost in your dream. You forget because actually You WANT to forget. Even if You think You don't want to. 2) Fictional? Fake? Hell the fuck no. This is YOU. This is your LOVE for YOURSELF. Nothing about this is fake, depressing or a lie. 3) By "your own will"? Hahaha. That's a good one. It's the opposite. You have to get out of your own way. Let God into your heart. 4) You don't "suicide and onto the next dream". Forget about this crap. LIVE. That's why You ARE here, to BE here! You don't want to die. If You're thinking of killing yourself You don't have enough perspective and You're closed off from God. And I'm not judging You, because I've had these same thoughts. I get it, really. But I'm telling You - You're SERIOUSLY misunderstanding this shit if you think killing yourself is even a slightly good idea. Consider this small intuition exercise. Imagine You discover the Voice of God inside your heart. Now focus and try to imagine what would God tell You about killing yourself. Good idea or no? Hint: You can do whatever You want and God will NOT judge You whatsoever for killing yourself. But You DON'T want to do it! YOU DON'T. Listen to your heart! It was YOUR WILL to come here in the first place, ffs! 5) You don't have to let go of your family early on. In fact, LOVE them more than ever before. Be more genuine. 6) Yes, go for the objects of your desires, whatever they are. But not because "everything is already fictional" (which is bullshit), but because YOU WANT to. The more You awaken to God, the more You discover your Spirit, your deepest values and genuine desires. You will have plenty of things You want to do in life. 7) Ultimately I'd say I had similar thoughts to You and I'd just tell You to live through it. The further You go, the more You will understand that they were bullshit You can always PM me if You want to.

You ARE ego. GOD is ego, right now, as You. How about You love it, appreciate it? You're not gonna fight yourself out of this situation and come out happy. The ego is not ruining your life. The ego IS "your life". Maturity can't be forced or sped up. Or at least it has to be done EXTREMELY intelligently.

That's great!!

It's about the depth. You can always refine the insights, understand better, awaken more. Don't rest on your laurels! And don't be cocky. Nevertheless, congrats!

Happens to all of us

There was a long thread about it

There is only your "pov". You are Alone. "Everyone is a sovereign God from their pov" --> This is a belief you're holding as part of a game to convince yourself that "others" and "other povs" exist and that surely You're not Alone. But You are.

My trip reports so far (in chronological order) But there's more...

I'm sorry dude. I assume you're not working? Or studying? It'd certainly help to just be around people somehow. You can't make friends if you don't meet people. If you REALLY don't want your life to be like this, then change it! Let your current feelings be the fuel for change. "I do NOT want to feel like this, so I am gonna do whatever it takes to change it! I'm gonna meet new people, talk with them and have fun because I WANT this. And soon enough I'll have new friends that I like". Go out and enjoy it. INTERACT with people. You can do it with baby steps, like asking for the time or something. Respect yourself. If this situation is making you miserable, then you HAVE to find ways to change it, because you CAN'T let yourself feel this way. Out of respect and love for yourself! You want to have an actual life? THEN COME AND GET IT! One last thing: you're gonna make it. Even if it seems hopeless, everything is going to be okay. Have faith! The Universe WILL help you along the way. YOU ARE GONNA MAKE IT. You deserve to be loved.

What was the emotional level like? Could you elaborate some more here? Did you experience some "alien" emotions?

Nice!

I wouldn't say so. Agreed. 6 out of 5

Yeah. On his blog. It's completely understandable porn and links to it are banned on the forum.

I thought the same. But also cut him some slack. Let a man appreciate a beautiful woman's body 99,9999% of people don't see Absolute Beauty even in this.

Neat!! ❤️

Well, man was made for lovin', not for buyin' Gold can't get the things we really need Just look, my friends, there's happiness in livin' Somewhere between broke and bein' free! Did you ever see the funny side of losin' Did you ever sit right down and have a cry Did you ever take the time to help a neighbor Just don't let the good life pass you by Friend, don't let the good life pass you by La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la... La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la... La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la...

Yesterday I had a blast with my college friends I got drunk (not in an excessive way) and smoked some pot and enjoyed myself a lot. I'm very glad I went. Darkness has been consuming me lately but here I managed to get out of my head and have genuine fun. Talked to a lot of people and socialized. I was even reminded of God and how I really desire to understand reality! A tiny step towards reconnecting with my spirit.

DETERMINATION I love Celeste so much. It's so God damn difficult. Why yes, I MUST play very hard games that annoy me for relaxation purposes. How can you tell? Jokes aside, I feel like I've kinda lost myself recently. In a "bad" sense. No motivation to do anything meaningful, numbed out, filling myself with bad food and mindless content. Sometimes I wonder if there's even any hope for me to change my ways, to be honest. Sometimes I'd rather not exist. (inb4 I will always exist --> well, I don't see it now, unfortunately)

Yessssssss!!!! I've been pondering this too recently!!! It's so amazing hahaha!! It's funny how often infinity hides in plain sight. Like, you can ask the "why" question forever AND it doesn't even have to start with "why God?". It can start with anything - why is a rainbow an arch, for example. But eventually if you ask the why question enough times you always reach "why God?" again!!! Point is that almost no one appreciates that every why question literally leads to infinity. Most people recognize at least once in their life that it goes to infinity, but then they just forget and stop being amazed by it. The same goes for the how and the what. Ah, it's beautiful All roads lead to God.