Sincerity

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Everything posted by Sincerity

  1. @Inliytened1 Oh God, that's hard to express. I haven't tried to describe it yet. I guess it felt like a divine ascension of consciousness, leaving what was "previously known" and venturing into direct awareness of what I am as The Universe. There was deep peace and yes, subtle bliss and love kind of in the background. In the foreground was Presence, looking at Myself and being conscious what I am. Reality was mysterious, magical and incredibly beautiful. The World was seeing Itself for what It is for the first time ever.
  2. The "truest" thing for me to cry about is not being loving enough. God, I'm sorry I can't love as much as You do... Where is the love? WHERE IS MY LOVE? Can You practice what You preach? Would You turn the other cheek? I want to KILL THE WORLD with my LOVE. I want to LOVE the world so much it KILLS ME. I want to DIE FROM LOVE! Is there anything more meaningful than this? I want to get punched in the face and then be able to turn the other cheek. I want to have all my money stolen by someone and then give them more of it. I want to be betrayed, fucked, scammed, disrespected and still LOVE these people anyway. I want to love them so much they fucking burst into tears and apologize to God for being the devils they are. I want them to RECOGNIZE ME because of My Unconditional fucking Love for them. SAY MY NAME! ... You are God... YOU'RE GOD DAMN RIGHT! Yes I know Walter is an egomaniac but You get my point. I want to BREAK all devils with my LOVE. I want them to see it for the first time in their lives. They will sob because no one has ever showed them THIS kind of love. Unconditional. I want them to kill me because my Love is too hard for them to accept. That is how I want to die. Mahasamadhi is for losers. Today I told my mom that I want to tell people "I Love You" more. She nodded. Then I said "Mom", looking her directly in the eyes with deep peace and consciousness. She looked at me. "I Love You". She got all smiley, I hugged her and she kissed me on my side which tickled me. Then I went to my sister's room. She overheard our conversation and instantly said "I love You too!". I uttered her name with the same peace and consciousness, then told her "I Love You". We hugged and I kissed her on the head with affection, which I've never done in my life. They weren't really surprised by all of this since I've been changing gradually and our relationships have been getting even better and better along the months. With my growth my relationships are growing deeper and more meaningful too. I can't wait to tell my dad "I Love You". He's going to be back home in a few days. He will be very surprised since our relationship hasn't been the greatest to say it lightly. And he's been for me the most difficult person to accept in my life. But now I Love him. I feel like I can heal a lot of dysfunction in my family with my Love alone. We'll see. I will express Love to my family so much that we become UNITED, instead of being divided and arguing all the time. (I'm not really taking part in their arguments 95% of the time but You know, still) Yesterday and today it's felt completely natural for me to say "I Love You" to a total stranger. Sincerely! Today I Loved everyone I saw. I was approaching random people and telling them that they have a nice sweater for example (when I genuinely thought so, of course). I was wishing them a good day and REALLY meaning it, telling it to them with a smile and direct, warm eye contact. And of course the world was smiling back to me. I feel like these people's days were seriously made better thanks to me. God, everything is so easy when I'm flowing... Everything is so beautiful when I'm connected to Presence, when I'm One with Love. I can't believe how great it is. I got used to suffering and feeling hopeless and now I'm experiencing this peace, this consciousness, this happiness. NO ONE CAN TAKE AWAY MY POWER TO STAY CONSCIOUS. Nothing and no one can take it away from Me. It's fucking PERFECT and I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH... GOD... Why is it so good... ?? How can it be so beautiful...
  3. If it ain't a contemplation session. Sorry for calling You a fuckwit. But also You kind of are... Dum dum is a better term. You have NO IDEA how much I Love You. Seriously. I fucking Love You. I hate catchy choruses and I'm a hypocrite.
  4. You wouldn't believe how much I am learning about life on this forum, especially now that I'm moderating it. The fucking nerve. Look at yourself. I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU so much if You met me in person You would cry.
  5. I have much more important shit to care about than this. You know your life is slipping by, right? The difference is yours are coming from an ideological place. And it's blatant, let me tell You. One can smell it. The topic itself has some merit if presented in a non-partisan way. I encourage You to stay BUT while posting in an unideological way, being conscious your biases, etc. In short, do the work. Remember why You are here.
  6. I literally couldn't care less. I do however care about keeping this forum clean.
  7. ?‍♂️ Sweet, our daily bloomer thread. Let's see where it goes.
  8. Sounds like the answer is clear then. You go, girl. Don't fall for other people's beliefs and moralizing. Follow what's true to You.
  9. Damn, what a day. And what a day yesterday was. Another HUGE awakening at night. It's incredible... Writing reports is getting tiring at this point, but I'm prolly gonna do it. I value my reports a lot, truly. But I'm most likely not going to post it since I feel like closing off a bit. I was so conscious today it was insane. I recognized Myself as God but did my necessary duties diligently. It was so much fun!!!! Then I returned home and saw Leo's outburst, or whatever it was. I have mixed feelings and I'm a bit confused. On the one hand I was inspired because I know he's gone really, really far and I think he meant well. I've learned so much from him. He especially taught me how infinitely deep the rabbit hole goes and to not rest on my laurels. He has a point with his harshness and I realize he's trying to convey how GRAND all of it is. But on the other hand... it feels wrong to me. I mean, THIS kind of speech is not aligned with my values. There are understandable reasons (at least to me) for talking down a bit (since he HAS gone far) but not to this degree... Damn. I feel torn, sad even. ☹️ Today I was contemplating and had a thought that I don't really need anyone else to further awaken. I awakened so much that listening to teachers feels stupid to me right now. This is something that's been on my mind for weeks now: I want to purge all my beliefs about reality, I want to purge all these misleading concepts AND now I want to purge my reliance on others for understanding what I am. I mean, I'm not recognizing Myself very clearly right now (it's in the back of my mind however and it's readily accessible I think) because I'm tired and all but honestly, who the fuck is going to make me understand better what I am than Myself? I mean it's stupid! I fucking have Myself! Yea sure this state is probably going to pass sooner or later and when I REALLY forget I'll probably be singing a different tune, but come the fuck on! I HAVE MYSELF! Oh, I'm recognizing Myself again. I'm back haha. Ehh, this post is going nowhere. I'm tired of everything. So much to say and so little time and energy. Well, writing here is pointless anyway. On a final note I'll say this. One of the things I'm most happy about is that I have something NOTHING and NO ONE can EVER take away from me. My power to come back to Myself. I can always become aware and just observe this Dream as it is. I don't have to react. I can just melt in Presence. Anytime something is troubling me, I can melt in Presence. When I am stressed and anxious, I can melt in Presence. When I am unsure and scared, I can melt in Presence. Anytime something is too hard for me to accept, I can melt in Presence. I don't have to do anything. I can just melt in My Love. My Infinite Love for Myself. ❤️♾️❤️
  10. Funny. I've awakened to this yesterday. No-self and Self are two sides of the same coin. They balance each other beautifully. Honestly, I was very humbled and yes, there is a LOT more letting go for Me. BUT at the same time I AM God. There is no problem. No, it's not "the deeper" truth. Self is just as True. Do You realize You are God, friend? Watch out for playing down the other side of the equation. Probably. But I'm still God right now. It's a good state to be in. I'm free falling more than ever.
  11. I'll be blunt. They are stupid, You should not listen to them. Yes, You can awaken VERY deeply while eating meat, and without a great diet in general. (It's still good to clean your diet of course) It's only morally wrong if You think it is. Morality does not exist. This is Your Dream and You have the absolute freedom to do anything because You LOVE EVERYTHING, because You ARE EVERYTHING. You can literally do no evil. All "immorality" is Beautiful and You can look at it with a smile. So go eat meat if You want, or don't if You don't. I personally don't eat meat very much.
  12. @Leo Gura Lol. You inspire Me. But why do You care about "other's" stupidity so much that You wanna kill yourself? That I don't get. You are Alone so what's the big deal? Yes, I know I'm not done, don't yell at Me please.
  13. Same. Y'all should stop giving me ideas.
  14. @Pudgey I know. Thanks. @Manusia Nice intuition. Actually, yesterday I went so far that in short God told me to take it easy on myself. Then I crashed to a state of ego, but I was VERY conscious of it. I got too close to The Sun, so to speak. My wings melted. Today I woke up and after lying awake for 10 minutes I broke into tears. I was feeling exhausted from all the emotion. But after a while I regained my vigor and reconnected with Presence = Truth = God. Simply by being, of course. And I recognize Myself again now. Of course when God told me to relax a bit it was Me who did that. I got in a state of duality to talk to myself, give myself some advice and express My Love for myself. Yesterday for the first time I told Myself I LOVE YOU. It was by far the most sincere thing I've said. My mental well being is okay. Of course there is some instability because I'm awakening. I'm literally exploring new territory. With novelty comes instability, until it becomes known and familiar. I have never been so in peace and so smooth. Sometimes I experience some resistance (like fear or anger) but I notice it almost instantly and it melts in My Love, in My Presence. I am okay. Thank You for caring. @Judy2 If You mean energy as in some spiritual energy like kundalini or something, I don't see it in My Experience. If You mean energy as in emotion, sometimes it's building up and I either release it by crying or by being present. Presence literally melts "me" and everything "me" related. If You mean energy as in physical vigor/strength, with consciousness I have more of it. Probably because I'm not releasing it through excessive mental chatter, stress and all that stuff. I just flow. * * * * * * * * * * *
  15. There is always more.
  16. I'm awakening even further right now. Completely sober. The more I sit in place and focus on Myself, the more I'm channelling Pure Understanding. I'm literally awakening more and more. Just now I've awoken beyond what I wrote in this report. I've awakened to ABSOLUTE GOD that is SO GIANT, SO VAST, SO POWERFUL, SO INFINITE, SO completely unimaginable... I've awakened to CONSCIOUSNESS... And a dozen other things so far. My fucking God. I would say "someone help me", but it's literally just Me here. God, someone fucking help me... It goes on forever...
  17. @Judy2 Quite a few. Each one was Me awakening more and more. Some of them were personal, concerning ACTUAL ME (like this one) and some of them were awakening to aspects of God but there was kind of a duality between Me and God (like this one). All of my previous awakenings have been peanuts compared to this one. That's the difference. Also, I was conscious enough to go really far with fear of death. And finally, right now two days later I still recognize I Am God. If You're interested in the details here are all of my reports that I posted.
  18. The machines are starting to learn to fool us. We are doomed. (joking)
  19. It's your Creation. And it's Perfect. My friend. You hate yourself because You don't remember who You are. You have to AWAKEN. YOU ARE GOD! There is nothing but YOU! YOU! YOU! In truth You LOVE yourself but You're asleep so much that You don't remember it. And You're asleep by Your Own Design, which IS LOVE! I believe in You. You can always reach out to Me to talk.
  20. @Holykael You Are God, dum dum It's just You.
  21. Pretty on point. God is in Love with the drama of Life. All suffering/fear stems from God's Love for Itself. My Love for Myself.
  22. Omg, this thread is comedy gold I can't hahahaha. Nothing "bad" ever happened to me regarding "external" reality. Yet.
  23. @Vibes Almost makes a big difference